Incomplete playing on my iPod:What Matters - Edwin McCainEven thought I haven't been on the road for that long but it has definitely knock some valuable sense into me - That is in this life or past life or future life, you can never be complete; no one ever will. Some may argue if you are content with what you got, you will be complete. But that isn't the case, notice when you are comfortable with your life and content with your current situation. Something will just slip and slide right through your fingers and leaving you deprive again and so you try to adjust and be content with your current state again and yet another thing slips as you struggle to lift your head high to grasp for air and you try to compromise, it keeps slamming you down. In other words, it is a vicious cycle; we are all chasing completeness and as we do, we are slowly learning the cruel fact that we are never ever going to attain this elusive state of being complete. I won't argue with you if you say money can buy your comfort but the price you pay to attain is far more than the pleasure it gives. The young ones now strife hard to get a better career, so that they can earn money and a better credit rating to buy junks they don't really need, in return only to find themselves selling their soul to their employers and chained like a dog to their financial institute, just because we want to live in a bigger house or drive a nicer car but most of the time to show off. Credit cards are like fucking fish hooks that hooks on our testicles as we keep on swiping it to get things that advertisement evangelist says in order to look good, you will need it, so that you will look like the models off the cover of your Vogue or GQ magazine but the hard fact is no matter how deluded you are, one day you will wake up, look into the mirror and realized that no matter how hard you try, you will never going to be someone else. So what about love? When you are deeply in love with someone, the whole world seems like a perfect place, but what happens when you lose it? There is a thin fine line between a person who is in love and a junkie high on drugs. When it is gone, reality kicks in and everything turns hell. I am not here to ruin your day but I am just uploading some of my thoughts here, you might disagree with me, that maybe because you have found what you have been looking for and I congratulate you but it could also mean you are intoxicated with love or high on drugs that would only last that short while. But for me now, it ain't about the money, it ain't about being complete, it ain't about love; I still have a long way to go but I plan to find it before my sun sets on me. If you are like me, don't choke on life but head out and find out what you have been missing.Time to drive... Happy Halloween playing on my iPod:Sick City - Charles MansonNothing much but the gloomy sky and the rain to accompany me today; finally got a date to announce for the upcoming released of our CD - "Lie to Me" it will be mid January next year. I would like to thank you for the support in purchasing our first EP even though a lot of you weren't able to do so because of the limited copies that is being sold due to our financial limitation. But we will definitely try to make our next release more available. It will be a Long Play which runs approximately 57 minutes.I know that a lot of us are let down by the entire indie label thingy which because of the lack of fund and equipment ultimately compromise the quality of their record. Talking this into consideration, we have invested more fund and time into making it a far better quality production than spending more on our promotion and distribution.Due to unforeseen circumstances, xniquet.live WILL NOT be performing our acoustic set tomorrow night in Cherating as stated earlier. Since it is the eve of Halloween - Devil'sNight, I would like to wish y'all a happy and blessed Halloween. Paranoia playing on my iPod:Photograph - 12 Stones5 years has passed since it first happened, I was on the verge of my first nervous breakdown when I started to get this peculiar feeling. As time moved by, it never really went away but I guess it lay dormant in me and eats me up in a bit every little while. But now it has returned big time, so serious that I cannot just ignore it or try to cope with it. Every time I hear a text message or a phone call, my heart skips a beat. It was like I am almost certain that it is just tidings of grieve news or something bad has happened. Every time I finished pumping gas and after driving off, I had to stopped to checked if I have closed my gas tank properly; every time I lay down on my hotel room as I try to rest I had to get up to check if I have lock the door; at the mall, when I walking to the place I want to go after I park my car, I have to turn back to see if I have locked my car. When I am home, I wake up in the middle of my sleep to check if there is any stove that I forgot to off in the kitchen. When there is a loud bang, I had to check if everyone in the house is alright. My mind is constantly plague with the thought of something bad is going to happened; even the ringing on my door bell would spark anxiety. These are strange days for me that I cannot explained, this constant feeling of paranoia is eroding me up and I know I am verge of a breakdown. I have been wandering aimlessly around upper Johor state and now I find myself in Segamat, the land of barbecue pig intestine, well that is what I always recall from there. With my current depleting appetite for food, I am certainly not in the mood for any now. Wear Off playing on my iPod:42 - Coldplay From one town to another, I finally ended up in Tanah Rata, Cameron Highlands. This sky is a resemblance of what I am feeling now; I haven't seen the sun for days, been locked up in my room going in circles, tossing and turning, trying to put back the shards of my life. But somehow, I end up in isolating myself in a rented room, surviving only on the water that runs on the tap. Sometimes the thought of ending this pain flashes through my mind, wouldn't it be so easy? A quick release from this mental torture but the sane part of me took hold of me again; it is just one more of those really bad days that you get when you are in the state of depression. Being here, I begin to wonder what the hell I am doing. Just because I am away doesn't mean I am running away, doesn't mean I don't wanna face her. Just because I hurting, doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve. You might think that since I do not speak a word, doesn't mean I take the people I care for granted, doesn't mean I don't think of them. I am just drowning in my overwhelming emotion and waiting for this pain to wear off.I am on the road again, I need to go further this time... Back to Basic playing on my iPod:Wrong Man - Paul GilbertSoft lighting, goose feather pillow, soft satin sheets inside an air condition room and fully equipped with a 7.1 surround sound home entertainment system with the soft scent of freshly peeled orange is what I don't have here. To say that this room is modest is an overstatement. What I do have here is a 3cm thick mattress (no pillows), a 3 legged side table and a table fan that makes a whole load of sound, so is this what it means to be really living? Screw all the stuff and gadget that I own which ended up owning me instead, today is the day where to rediscover the meaning of being basic. I wanna know that I am not the things that I own and I do not need them. I am sick of the rain and I need to go somewhere where there is sun than going in circles in all this rain and mud, I should have gone up north instead of south.I have been practice this speech for days but I feel like a freaking idiot when I call her up because I ended up with nothing to say instead. Damn my brain, I wish I could find words to make her feel better and make her see that this is for the best. What the fuck is the matter with me? I don't usually choke on my words. I am running low on medication now; I really could use something "Spiritually" strong to get me through tonight. Must Get Out playing on my iPod:Where'd You Go - Fort MinorTrees, cars, trucks, road signs, red lights, green lights flashes me by; nameless town, faceless people, gas stations, 7-11; having instant cup noodles while watching the evening news from TV sets hung high off ceiling are just about the things that just seem to revolve around my life these days; When I am dead tried, I crash wherever I am, I really don't mind bunking in the car because most of the time it is much more comfortable than the hotel that some of these small town offer. The only thing about sleeping in your car is that the mosquitoes always seem to linger around your ears. Just a little bit before midnight, I crossed over the border from Pahang state and I am in Johor State; the time is 0245 and I find myself wondering a nameless street of an unknown town with a cold Lychee Flavored Jolly Shandy in my hand. I didn't know that they have this flavor and I am such a sucker for drinks I never tried before; trust me it is better that you don't know about this drink because it is pure liquid crap at its best. But that isn't what is bothering me; maybe it is the feeling of loneliness and aimlessness that is starting to kick in. I thought about all the ones whom I have been in love with but none of their love has ever been attainable to me; yet the one who loves me I just can't bear giving her just a partial of my affection, it is unfair to her and that is why I left. The irony is why I am driving aimlessly around when what I set out to do was to find something. I guess it is still too soon to tell. I travel light; no laptop, no software, no Photoshop, no nothing to help me blog, so this is just my raw emotion letting loose. Why did I have to do all this? Because I must get out...Choonie, I am deeply honored to share a piece of my life with you through this blog. I try to slip in an update just to let my friends know where I am and that I am still alive. I'll let you know when I am back, take care!JP,thanks man. I guess when you lose something; you just have to take matters in your hand, go out there and search for it than sit and wait for it to fall from the sky. Don't miss NIN okie?Cenni, you matter to me too and I am going to miss our little chats. This isn't goodbye but just temporary. Take care and I hope the songs that I gave you will last you till I am come back. The Crapping Throne playing on my iPod:Electrical Storm -U2Since I am still in this micro town they call Sumgai Jerit" translated as "Screaming River"what the heck, why don't I come into this shit hole (cyber cafe) again and blog something. I know old habits or should I say addiction dies hard but God knows I am trying to break free from its chain. Alongside with substance, alcohol, porn and necrophilia, I think blogging is one of the dangerous addictions. Anyway, found a place to lay my head for the night ? "Rumah Tumpangan Yahya" is a place just above the shit hole, that explains why I am still here for a mere RM20.00 buckaroo, you can't expect much for that price but the only thing I did not anticipated is how fucking gross the crapping throne is. The fuckers who previously used this throne have got to get some serious aiming lesson, there is shit everywhere. It just makes you appreciate things that you leave behind at home, doesn't it? But this is the price you gotta pay when you are on the road. I wanted to call her but something just held me back. Well, next stop - down south? The Crapping Throne playing on my iPod:Electrical Storm -U2Since I am still in this micro town they call Sungai Jerit" translated as "Screaming River". What the heck, why don't I come into this shit hole (cyber cafe) again and blog something. I know old habits or should I say addiction dies hard but God knows I am trying to break free from its chain. Alongside with substance, alcohol, porn and necrophilia, I think blogging is one of the dangerous addictions. Anyway, found a place to lay my head for the night ? "Rumah Tumpangan Yahya" is a place just above the shit hole, that explains why I am still here for a mere RM20.00 buckaroo, you can't expect much for that price but the only thing I did not anticipated is how fucking gross the crapping throne is. The fuckers who previously used this throne have got to get some serious aiming lesson, there is shit everywhere. It just makes you appreciate things that you leave behind at home, doesn't it? But this is the price you gotta pay when you are on the road. I wanted to call her but something just held me back. Well, next stop - down south? This blog and the internet has taken far too much of my life and it is time for me to pull the plug and hit the kill switch and so I hereby announce I am taking a long break from blogging and also from the internet, it could be weeks, months, and years or maybe permanent, wherever it leads me; I am currently on a road trip to around to wherever my feet leads me. The internet has done miracle to my life, it gave me the chance to connect with people from all ages, races, sexual orientation and all around the world, learning from them and sharing with them. I am grateful to be able to have known great blogging friends whom do matter in my life. But so much so that I have forgotten and diverted most of my attention to this virtual world that I have left most of the people around me in the cold and it is only when you lose them, you realized that they are actually the one whom you should have put forth all your attention to. For now, I choose to live my life as a pariah or an outcast from the internet because I know only through this I am able to find myself again. So if this doesn't bring the end of me, maybe we will meet again this distant future or the next life. I don't know what the future may bring to all of you whom I have come to know but I only wish the best in life for all of you. Yes I have given up on blogging not because I don't enjoy doing so but because it has brought about too much grieve and remorse. I don't consider myself as a good blogger but at least what I try to say what comes from within. But for now, I just wanna fade into the night like a ghost and see the world with my own eyes and not through my monitor. I will update this blog from time to time when I get the chance to get in a cyber cafe.with love and thoughtsxniquetP.S. My apologies to those who are looking forward for the series "Becoming Ultraman", you just have to wait 3 years or more to read it. Where are You Going? Looking for Answers under the Stars playing on my iPod:Where are You Going? - Dave Matthews BandThis is my inaugural update from a cybercafe in hell. Let me paint you a picture of this shit house, it is fill with CRT monitor, the keyboards has been used as an ashtray and the mouse seems to be covered with some slimey substance which I hope it is not cum. Yes I am somewhere in the middle of Pahang and far from the comfort of my room and house to bring you tidings about the wedding, IT IS OFF and I just don't want to go in the details for now. Where am I going next I don't know but this is the perk of a person who hasn't got a job and has nothing to lose...Until my next destination, Ta.P.S. there's no MSN here, so I am sorry for not being able to come in and say farewell. We will catch up some other time...take care y'all. I Love You and I Don't Care If You Hears It Thank you all for all your kinds and heartfelt words that you all have left; I am sorry if I haven't reply, I am simply just not ready to talk yet but I thank you for the thought. Till then I am going to take my time away from everything , barricading myself from the outside and trying to get my shit back together again. You know to many sleeping is a luxury but when you have all the time in the world but you just can't sleep, it becomes a curse. Till then, thanks for remembering and I hope that I will be able to be back on my feet once again soon. Announcement Firstly I would like to thank all those who show me love, care and condolences which I am sorry I couldn't reply all of you but believe me that your kind words are nailed deep in to me and I appreciate your kindness. Secondly I would like to apologize to my blogging friends especially to Pinksterz for which I had to pull out at the last minute and didn't have the time to inform you all.When things were going well, the sudden passing of my mother laid heavy in my heart. I wasn't ready for such a turn of an event in my life. I am trying to let the grieving process take place but yet anger is all I feel. Off to KL... I will be off for a little while, things seem to be kicking off with the band and some promoting business to take care off. But first, I have some "Mee Limbu" business in Pasar Besar Seremban to take care of and entertain some other lame bloggers like me. I will be in KL for a week and will be off the blogging for a little while. So here is a little something for the road... how to convert .flv to .wmv so that you can watch porn during work Have you ever felt like an idiot after knowing that what you wanted so badly was there all along? Thinking back on how many hours you spent searching for that something that you need and couldn’t find, made your mood like shit, binge and purge all day. The fucking truth is I was thankful the day I learned how to rip and download those videos from YouTube and thanks to Chingy who introduced me to the wonders of VLC media player (get it here for free yayy!!!) I was able to watch those downloaded .flv format videos. But the matter of the fucking fact is with .flv videos you can’t fast forward. Dragging the indicator on the video status bar would only stop the video and you have to watch the whole damn thing again. So being sick and tired of having to wait or having to watch the whole damn thing again, I set out to find a converter that could change .flv format videos to something else that would allow me to fast forward to parts which I miss and better yet compatible with my windows mobile, so that I can watch ‘em video clips on my pocket pc.I Google, Yahoo, AOL and even risk my PC to search for a program within the P2P networks. (didn’t your Mama taught you to never use this P2P shit for programs or you will end up with a virus instead) All I end up is a couple of shareware which only allows you to convert for a certain amount of time period or time or they will limit your video conversion to about 5 minutes. I wasn’t really looking forward to pay for anything from the internet because I believe that things from the internet should be a free like MP3s, movies and porno. Well, that is just me; maybe after I start my own internet business I would think otherwise but for now, free is good. But the most motherfucking KNNCCB shit cock ass vagina thing about this whole donkey ass ordeal was after looking for a converter for months, I only realized I had the fucking program in my lappie all along. [Yeah, don't you dare laugh and you know who you are, you are just as blind as I was :p]The fact that I have downloaded the free VLC player for playing .flv videos, it never fucking occurs to me that it is also a converter that could convert .flv files into .WMV, .AVI or MPEG all along. What The fucking Fuck!!! It is one of those days that made me feel like an ass. Anyway, if you are wonder how it is done, here’s a little guide to help you convert your .flv videos to WMV or AVI or any kind of shit format you want, so that you won’t have to wait and watch the whole fucking clip or better yet, you can convert them porno you downloaded from RedTube or YouPorn and watch it on your PDA or pocket pc underneath your desk, that will definitely get you outta trouble from your boss. You know what I mean…Tutorial on how to convert .flv to .WMVThe first thing you need to do is load the .flv file that you wanna convert and press stop. Then go to the drop down file menu and then select wizard or press cltr+wWhen you are at the Streaming/Transcoding Wizard menu select Transcode/Save to file and then click NEXTIn this Input menu select Existing playlist and then click NEXTOn the Transcode menu, tick and select the following and then click NEXT: (Refer to diagram below)Upon reaching the Encapsulation format menu, choose ASF and then click NEXTLastly the most important thing to do when you reach this menu is that you MUST include the extension of your file when you save it. If your file name is “Ultraman”, save it as “Ultraman.wmv”There you go, did I just make you life better? If so just enjoy the video on the right which is a trailer for my up and coming post, becoming ultraman. of many x stories This is actually the many happenings that revolves around xniquet's life lately, so feel free to peak into my life and my senseless ramblings...After reading this post, something gotta into me and it gave me the urge to take out my CDs and actually listen to it the conventional way using a CD player. For far too long have I been clicking on my iTunes library or my iPod, it was time to take out those things which once I call them my priced possession. Not to brag or anything but my collection of CDs was growing into a very respectable one and it was something which I like to flash it in my friend’s face when they stopped by. But these days who the fuck would ever bother with whatever CDs you have got? Everything is going digital and most of the time the digital download of the CD is usually out first before the hardcopy of the CD is out. I am not talking about leakages but rather artistes like Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails who gave free full download of their LP on the internet that fucking puts the CD even in a worse situation.I guess it isn’t too late to confess that I have this super crushed on this long hair girl who works in Fantasy Music centre in the lower floor of Sunway Pyramid, I wonder if she is still there? She is the main reason I spent so much money there and also she is part of why I became so hook up to purchasing CDs too. Anyway, if you are still a vigorous and compulsive CD purchaser, please do not let this article make you think otherwise. Instead just take whatever that has been written in this post as utterly and completely non- sense and remember to stop by your favorite music shop (not Petaling Street but I doubt there is any there) and grab the latest copy of this CD - RM19.90 only. Very cheap, what are you waiting for? Go now. Sometimes I Think I'm Better off Dead When you are an blog junkie, being away from the internet for 2 days would feel like years. I have been brooding in the studio for the last few days, trying to come up with some new stuff but only crap seems to purge outta my head these days, I am in serious need some dosage of enlightenment to get me out of this mental block...Beside playing around with the equipments and testing out new sounds, nothing seems to be going right. Anyway, here's a little crap for you listening pleasure. Getting High has Never Been So Cheap And you think you need loads of cash to snort on coke which only mega bucks earners are able to afford? So what about us the middle class average Joe gotta do to get high? In these times of global economic meltdown, when even rock stars would even think twice before calling their drug suppliers, people are switching from powder to something readily available, less expensive and gets the job done . Well almost, you can’t complain because it is cheap. The Southern Rappers call it Sippin’ Syrup, Britney Spears call it Purple Drank but we the people in Cherating call it “KOKTAIL UBAT BATUK”.So here is the Recipe of making this delicious drink:Ingredients:1 can of Soda [anything you like but I will still to Sprite or Pepsi]1 bottle Cough Syrup with codeine [You will need a prescription for this so this is when being buddies with doctors comes in handy. But then again if you are living in Malaysia, just head to your neighborhood’s pharmacy, slip RM10.00 over the counter and then fake a few coughs and you will be getting your very own bottle of cough syrup in no time.]Method:Add equal amount of cough syrup and soda. For better effect add some crushed painkillers or a couple of doses of Jim Beam into your drink. With the cocktail in your hands, find the best seat in the house, switch on some music [Recommended: Kid Rock's Someone Gotta Feel this] and start sipping your way into narcotic nirvana. You will know that you are high when you startz to speakz like tiz…Getting high has never been so easy, no needles, no powder, no big money being butall the harm of drug abuse... Using Middle Finger Technology I think I should have done this post as soon as I changed the theme to my blog, like the previous blog theme xniquet’s becoming x, I know I lot of you got confused on how to navigate around this blog and what more after warming up to the previous layout, I changed the whole setting again. But once you get used to it, you will see that it is actually pretty simple to get around this blog, except for maybe the loading of the pictures and graphics, because, I can compromise with the videos or songs but I just couldn’t bring myself to compromise on the quality of the pictures and graphics here. We don’t serve crap pictures and graphics here, so I am sorry if I killed your bandwidth. Anyway, this will be a very comprehensive guide to use Middle Finger Technology: Please refer to the diagram beside this for reference.Like any other blog, this one has got a banner too, but this banner serves another purpose, that is to promote upcoming post and sometimes also some updates in my life which is not blog worthy but I still wanna bring it up.As you can see there are 6 tabs here filled with 1950s Burlesk advertisement taken from the newspaper. This is actually the main navigation tabs:This is to the about the author section. It will bring you to the xniquet-wiki post about the author where you can read all about him.This is where you will find all the old post segregated by labels, dates and also series. Here you will also find links to other people’s blog whom has written about this blog/author.This is the feed button actually. Like it says…subscribe to this blog.This is the one everybody is asking- “How do I comment?” Click here and you are able to comment. I am sorry that I don’t reply comments here but if you leave your name and link there, I will be sure to reply you in your blog.This is section where I will post up whatever you wanna say about me, love me, hate me or you just wanna say thanks for convincing you to kill yourself. To do so, you can fill in a pre-generated form here.Like it says, you can email me, hate mails are welcome too.This is a new addition to this blog; this is where all future vlogs are going to be posted. It is also made for anyone who wants to promote their blog, themselves or their talent. You can send me a video which you wanna promote and I will be more than happy to place it up here - absolutely free. Nudity, violence, vulgarity is encouraged; besides that is what Middle Finger Technology is all about.This are actually more links to more section of this blog like: other blogger’s link, chat box, the xniquet-wiki and xniquet’s house of useless vlogs.If you are too lazy to go to the archive section of this blog, here are the last 10 post for your reading pleasure.Not only he blogs, he points and click with his crappy camera phone; here you will get to see what I see with my eyes. If you have a Flickr account, remember to add me in.Last but not least, the hidden sections to this blog. There are two hidden section of this blog:5UMZ3R0:GH05T8L0993RR3M1X:This is the section where xniquet rants about the government and give insight to what he thinks is a government conspiracy.The Die-ry of xniquet:This section where all of post and picture of xniquet’s scandals are posted.These section can only be access by clicking on the hidden button on this blog or by subscribing to this blog’s feed.when you see this, it means there are some xniquet-wiki articles related to this post:the xniquet-wiki articles forthis post:xniquet's offical blogxniquet's blogging campaign xniquet's middle finger technology The Webcam Whores Strikes Back I know I said the webcam is lame and I know I said that I wasn’t going to camwhore in front of the webcam with woawoa and THIS would be the last time. Yet I succumbed to a super psychic hot girl (name withheld because she doesn’t want to)who went all Hannibal Lecter on me and made me switch on my webcam. But somehow, I reckon I am not what the chic wants to see thru the webcam but rather woawoa (she is the chic magnet), darn it. Anyway, this is just another one of those lame updates to commemorate the lame actions that took place last night. What to do, I am still typing with one hands because my left hand is still sore and numb. Till then a short post would have to suffice in keeping my blogging monkey inside me happy and intact. Last Halloween I Gave You my Face Like every other year, xniquet.live is set for their annual Halloween performance; but this year we are doing it a little different, instead of a full band, we are running only on 3 members - Jane and Ming are out, and we are playing an acoustic set in Surfer’s clover ,Cherating. Instead of an indoor thing, it would be an open air beach side gig. Besides playing our own stuff, we are suppose to do some covers like Hinder’s Lips of an Angel and Slipknot’s Snuff which I wonder how am I going to pull it off. God damn it, I have less than a month to look for a free lancer who is willing to fill in the slot for vocals. With the acoustic set, I hope this time there will not be any flying beer bottles . If any one of you is interested in doing the vocals, please do email me. Till then, the stage isset and we are ready for an one hour of shame this coming Halloween. More Information will be posted later.*pictures taken during practice session with a crappy webcam*xniquet-wiki article available - xniquet.live(band) Death, Injuries and Shit like That If the above is true, this wouldn’t be me writing this wouldn’t it? But a logical explanation to justify the above would be that I somehow, found my way back from the depths of Hades and blog about what fucking happened to me. But for the time being, let’s just stick to the version that the above isn’t real and let me tell you what fucking mess I got myself into again.Firstly, I am proud to announce that this should be my 5th injury this year; I am getting better at this I think I had 3 last year. 4 minor injuries and 1 big one (broken feet) this year, am I good or am I good? You can’t blame me because it has been raining like hell these days back here and accidents are prone to happened when you don’t wear protection and it is wet, just look at Evie who gave birth to her first born after 9 months. (Wukakakaka! Okie, not funny, my bad) I know you must be thinking it is nothing to be proud; some of you might have be fond of collecting stuff that you like, well for me, you could say that I have fetish of collecting scars on my body. I wonder will it ever be consider as body art one of these days.Look at this baby, I got this while one while trying to avoid a fucking tree on my downhill ride in the P Hill downhill ride. It wouldn’t give me a good scar but it will just give me a good old sore arm for days. It ain’t that bad because it is my left hand which is feeling the numb, I still have my good old right which allows me to move my mouse and also practice my one hand typing which is pretty useful when you are having cyber-sex (that is what I heard), don’t look at me cause I am still a cyber-virgin. But the only thing sucky about having a sore left arm it that you can’t play PS3 because it requires both of your thumbs, but there are always alternatives, I guess computer games are back in the menu again. this took place with my biking buddies...Anyway, Lisa was pissed at me because I didn’t wanna go shopping with her for clothes, I asked her to snap pictures of her in the dressing room with anything she plans to get and send it over to me, it would be like having me with her in the dressing room. But she told me, how on earth can she take her own picture in the dressing room? I have seen it done many many times by many many female bloggers, pointing at the mirror and snapping away. So how hard can it be? It isn’t rocket science right? So I tried showing it to her how it was done but all my pictures turned out crap. So I give up and I will drag my lazy ass out to go shopping with her. I hereby salute all those who are able to camwhore flawlessly in the dressing room. I Got Bugs in the Way I Feel About You It's just one of those days where I got bugs everywhere and it is keeping me away from everything and I just couldn’t do anything …I got bugs in my room, bugs sleeping with me in my bed, I got bugs knocking on my skull trying to get in, they don't go nowhere waiting, and waiting...standing, sitting, kneeling... and now they are laying eggs in my brain, making me do nothing all day and heck they are even bugs in the way I feel about Lisa…And so the question is “Do I kill them or become their friend?”“Do I eat them raw or well done?”; “Do I join them? I think that's the one”So I'll just become naked and I will become one...and finally something someone said to me today that really bugs the hell outta me.. xniquet's engagement invitation Since it was our parents' idea to have this engagement party, so I will have my way of doing the party and invitation instead. So if you see one of this landing in your mail box, don't be alarm. It is for real and yes you are invited to join this congregation of spies. These are just the template that we are going to send in for printing, the information on it is inaccurate, you will get the information when you receive your invites. If you haven't seen me online for awhile that means I am on a cross-country cycling trip or you have fucking Streamyx to thank for me my absent. Anyway, tomorrow is Hari Raya, so my wishes to all my Muslim friends who are celebrating it. Kung Fu Sex 2: The Chastity Breaking Monk Since the beginning time, men have been trying like hell to get into the pants of women; but women being the fussy ones were trying to keep men out of her pants and only let in a few good ones in. Even though both men and women were created equally horny, but somehow, the men’s penis always gets the best of them and women seems to have a built in “on” and “off” sex switch which they can use it at their disposal.500 years ago, a group ancient monks of the east who was staying next to some hot nuns was sick and tired of jerking off and were trying like hell to get into the pants of nuns; you see most of these monks was sent by their parents into the monastery and did not on their freewill sworn to have a sexless life. And this was one of their motivations, to get laid with them hot nuns next door before they bite the dust. But the determination of the nun to keep their chastity intact was so strong that all attempts by these horny monks did not avail. So these monks introduced human body studies into their curriculum hoping to find a way to get laid with these nuns which made them really good physician only. But in the end, there was a exceptional monk who did not have any interested in studying how the body works but only had a dream of opening a body massage parlor found out that when God created women, He placed several sex chakra or button on the body of the women, so that when the sense of touch and pressure are given to these places, you are not only unleashing the inner beast and leaving her craving for the dick, tongue or something else (use your imagination) but you are also preparing her up for the ultimate orgasm rush. This is the first known documented instruction for foreplay known to men. No tongue, saliva or toys are required because it is an ancient Chinese acupressure massaging technique that only uses your thumb and palms to sex her up and breaking down all her sex resistance. Remember to warm your hands by rubbing them together and then make firm circles in these hot spots:THE CENTER OF HER CHEST, AROUND HER BREAST BONEThis is to ease off all her anxiety and resistance to sex. It induces calm by “opening the heart”DOWN BOTH SIDES OF HER SPINES, TO HER LOWER BACKHere you are directing warm energy from her upper body to her pelvis.HER BELLY, FRO NAVEL DOWN TO HER PUBIC BONEIt is physical center of the body and ultimately critical to a person’s sexual satisfaction.INNER LEGS, WORKING FROM ANKLE UPArouses the energy line that begins at the big toe ad moves up her leg and to her groin area.And your think breast grouping, vagina rubbing or pussy chowing would take you far, think again. Applying pressure to those offensives areas would only anger her when she is not in the mood. Trust me you wouldn’t wanna rub a pussy the wrong way. But these spots may not be those areas where guys would usually go for; it would only make you appear to be giving her a relaxing massage but instead you are sexing her up by applying a little pressure to these spots that she can’t resist and before the night is over you will be humping her like a wilder beast. If you are skeptical about the whole thing, you can always use the Zen fingers to check out the level of moistness that the above technique has gotten her. Remember when she is mad at you for some absurd reasons like forgetting anniversary or her birthday and uses her ultimate weapon – the no-sex-for-you strike, the above technique is the best counterstrike, when you are through with it she will be asking for more. Welcome to the Jungle: Unspoken Rules of the Jungle I may have been into this thick jungle reserve many many times, but every time I come out from it, I will either end up in another location or I will manage to stumble on a different route to where I started. Right about now you might think that I am a pathfinder noob, but I tell you this jungle holds a lot of mysterious energy. The trees are old and most of them are hundreds of years old. The locals here believes that this jungle here is a concentration of wandering spirits because as development takes place, all the wandering spirits congregates at the least developed places. The Malays here said that in every tree in this jungle there will be a “Penunggu” or Keeper and whoever enters the jungle should respect it or they will suffer the consequences. Even though I don’t really buy this mambo jumbo thingy, but I do adhere to the unspoken rules.Here is a few which you might know:1.When you are doing your business there, always say excuse me before you pee or take a crap;2.Never litter, burn or contaminate; never break, chop and clear a branches or bushes for no reason, unless you need to get to the other side;3.If you are alone in the jungle and you hear someone calling you from behind, never turn behind and look, instead use something reflecting to check it out, to see if there is really someone before you turn back to look. That is why it is encouraged to bring a small mirror or something reflective to the jungle (I use the back of my iPod, isn’t iPod great?). If there is no one, I suggest you run like the wind;4.Never attempt to stay overnight in the jungle alone, get the fuck outta there before sunset. Even if the wandering spirits don’t get you, some hungry animal might.; and5.This is the most important one, never pick up foreign object in the jungle and never ever bring it back with you. You never know what you might bring back with you. The object might be vessel for something. The locals here believes that”Djin” or evil spirits lives in these objects. The Malays here believes that sometimes a “bomoh” (Malay medium) might cast vessels that contain evil spirits that they have captured into the jungle, therefore, bringing back some foreign object you found in jungle which you think might be a great deco piece in your room is a big NO NO. But if you already did, you might wanna look out for the symptoms:i you start getting weird nightmares;ii your luck just couldn’t get any worst;iii you fall sick and the doctor doesn’t know what is wrong with you; oriv you start to see things that you shouldn’t .If you are suffering from the above, I think it is a good idea for you to visit your local witchdoctor to find out what the fuck did you just got yourself into.I hope this doesn’t scare you from going jungle trekking. Just stick to the unspoken rules and you will be fine besides jungle trekking is such a great cardio workout and the air here is good for you too. You might be thinking that it is crazy to go jungle trekking these days because of the insane hot weather. But you know what, being in the jungle with it thick foliage; it almost felt like you are in an air conditioning room. It is way better than being in an air conditioning room because it air condition would only dry your skin and this doesn’t. Besides in the day time these trees produce plenty of O2 which is really good for your skin and delays aging. I know the last post and this post might bore you because it is just another ordinary day in my life but it is the simple things that I am beginning to miss doing. The thought of leaving here and head to LA to start anew still lay heavy in my heart. Even though I am used to the big city but deep down inside I am still a “Budak Kampung” (village boy) who enjoys the nature like the beach and jungle. Come on where in the world will I be able to find a hidden beach of my own to surf and go jungle trekking in the middle of the week?Even though the jungle reserve is just five minutes from my house but I still I prepare myself before going, because you never know what will happen in there. So these are the basic stuff that I bring for any jungle trekking:1.My trekking shoes2.My short fingers multipurpose gloves, for RM89 it is one of the best investment, I use them for almost anything except biking because the wrist guard gets in the way.3.My back pack to carry everything inside.4.My hydro pack, this baby carries 2 litter of water, so I don’t of dehydration.5.My protective glasses, in case I get into thick bushes.6.My Maglite in case I don’t make it out the jungle before sundown.7.My Walkie Talkie, don’t ask me why. Since it was always been in my back pack, I didn’t want to leave it elsewhere, so I brought it along.8.My iPod, I told you I go everywhere with it, even my identity card is inside the leather casing.I may feel relax in the jungle but nothings beats coming home to a nice soft bed, with a glass of California red, a nice book and Vivaldi’s Four Seasons playing on my headphone. Just ignore that telephone book like women magazine beside the bed. Those belong to Lisa. Anyway, on the right, you will find another short Vlog that I taken while passing by the mini zoo to get into the jungle. Meet Thunder Bob, that is what Mike used to call him, I am not sure if Thunder Bob still recognized me but just look at the video and you will see how excited he is or maybe he is just trying to maul me. A Day in xniquet’s Busy Working Life Sometimes I wonder how my life was going to be like if I am a clockwork white collar slave living in this laid back beach town. It’s been so long since I was a white collar plowing my ass off, but everything has changed since I came back to my home town. My routine are like biking, surfing, drinking, jamming with the band, play PlayStation or watch DVD till I pass out and repeat all over again and oh I miss something, blogging too. Life is so mundane back here, so much so that I have enough time to visit a cafeteria 7 times a day for two days, just to see a girl who later became my fiancé. But once every year, I get to play the role of a white collar slave and it is today. Because today is my company’s Annual General Meeting (AGM) where Shareholders and directors, company secretary and auditors are to hold a fucking meeting to adopt the year’s audited accounts, reappointment of auditor and other shit that they fucking list on the meeting’s agenda. It is so fucking boring, I wish they could just skip all the bullshit and fast forward to the part where I sign and leave; that would be great. I would have send my trusted proxy (woawoa) to attend the meeting on my behalf but she was just too busy barking at my neighbor’s chickens, so I just had to do it on my own. Besides I also wanted to know if there is any increment on the director’s fees. [Keeps finger cross].Like any other day, it started with me walking my proxy out to do her business and then a visit to my late wife’s resting place. Head home to do a little QiGong meditation and a working out to the Village People’s Macho Man. My breakfast this morning was GALI MEE (curry noodles)- It is a very common breakfast for the people in Kuantan and as usual my proxy will always be there when I am going to eat something.These are the things that I brought to my meeting and every other day that I go in my office:1 iPod:A must have, I cannot live without it.2 Pocket PC:When I am in the toilet doing my business; I am particular fond of reading blogs in the toilet.3 Sun Glasses:In case it gets really sunny or I have to drive.4 Cologne:In case some dipshit decides to smoke in the meeting and leaving me smelling like ciggy.5 Pens:Obviously for writing and signing, duhhhh.6 Flask:the coffee in the office stinks, I need to add in something extra.7 Purse:I don’t use a wallet.8 House phone:my office is just across my house and I can get my house calls even when I am in the ofMeeting starts*cricket sound*ZZZzzZZZZZZZzzZZZzzzZZz*snores*Wakes up to sign papers and YAYY! It is over, after shaking the hands of the other directors and the rest of the people, I bid them good bye and see them next year. I walked across the one lane street and went into my house and had nuggets, sausages, toast with cheese, cauliflower and raw tomatoes for lunch. After which I continue to Sex Wax my surfboard and then proceed to the beach to surf.The time was 7pm when I came back from the beach, only to be greeted by the orange sky. I don’t know about you, but it is pretty common here in Kuantan. After a nice warm bath, felt too tired to eat, so skipped dinner and did a finger exercise with the PS3. After that I decided to switch on my desktop only to do some blogging, only to be smack on the head by Lisa, who then send me off to bed after a cuppa Chamomile blend to help me sleep because I am suppose to wake up at 5am for surfing the next day. So I guess with her highness around, I won’t be able to produce as much post as I used to.Anyway, [*points to the right] enjoy episode one of the red groteskes TV which feature my proxy woa woa. I Heart Sex Wax: The Best for My Stick It has been a little over two months and this animal urge inside me just keeps growing and growing. Ever since Lisa came down to LA, I never really have the privacy to explore different pleasures. But now I am finally alone; Just me, my hands, a towel, my long shaft and my newly purchased Sex Wax that I purchase in CaliPORNia - they told me that the wax would do miracles. I breathe heavily as I torn open he wrapper on the Sex Wax ,the words on the label caught my eyes, it says “The Best for your Stick”. Even though it was a warm morning with a temperature of 30’C, I could feel the chill of excitement that gave me goose bumps and left my nipples erected. So I wet my lips with my saliva and swallow the excess as I took the Sex Wax and prepare to rub one in all over my long and hard shaft. Man, I tell you this better give me a good tractor and grip because I pay good money for this shit right here.FYI, Sex Wax has many uses but none of them are associated with sex or masturbation. Due to the product name, it became extremely popular, even among those who had never ridden a surfboard. And their slogans, "The best for your stick", is really something, it had me going for a while there, until I really found out what it is for. It is generally a wax where surfers rub it on top of their boards to allow better control of their surf board. But some drummers use it on their drum sticks for better grip, that is why I got one of them Sex Wax for our drummer. But for now, it has been too long since that last time I surfed, I just couldn’t wait to catch some wicked waves. You know a good song for me to rub wax all over my shaft and prepare to head out to the sea is Nazareth’s Hair of the Dog [Wondering how it sounds? Download it here]. My alarm clock is set and I just couldn’t wait for the time to turn 5am.5am and with black caffeine injected into my system and AC/DC‘s Back in Black jacked into my brain, I was on my way to one of Kuantan’s lovely and hidden beach which we call the 3rd Bay which is located west of Methodist Bay. [Not much people know about this hidden beach only a handful of locals know about it, I actually stumble upon it while jungle trekking] My surfing guru Bodi once said that surfing is actually a very tribal and spiritual act and that surfers harvest the energy of the waves. That is why I have decided to adopt a tribal name, something that only my surfer friends can call me – “Kutubandai”. Anyway, Bodi also said that God has a sick sense of humor, and every now and then he likes to show men that how small they are by create a big Kahuna waves that makes your balls feels like raisin. But that isn’t the case today I guess, even up to 9am when Lisa came with my breakfast, the only waves I could catch were just these pathetic child play waves than makes the fake ass man-made waves in Sunway lagoon looks like tsunami waves.Bummer, I thought I could at least show off in front of Lisa, but just look at how pathetic the waves are…Oh South China Sea where thou art your sting?Anyway, today I am going to share the anatomy of the waves known to surfers, so if you are planning to take up body surfing, you might wanna read up a bit about this: (refer to the picture below)1 The SoupAlso known as the “inside”, this is the spot where the waves have already broken down and moves to the beach in a mass of rolling white water or what the Chinese would call it wave flowers. If you haven’t got your surfing cherry popped yet, this is the spot to be for virgin surfers.2 The Peak This is where the wave reaches the peak and starts to break. Wait here to catch the waves. It is the unsaid rule for surfers that the surfer closest to the breaking point goes first. If you try cutting in the cue before your time, you might end up with a fat lip and a black eye. Remember to follow the lead of experience surfers, if you don’t know who the fuck is the experience one, don’t worry that means it isn’t you and what the fuck are you even doing here, go back to No.1 the soup, you virgin.3 The Impact ZoneThis is no man’s land, the spot between No. 2 the Peak and No. 1 the Soup. It is the place the most dangerous place to be because this is where the wave unloads majority of its power and you wouldn’t want to be caught in its wrath.4 The ShoulderIt’s the unbroken part of the wave, usually left of right of the peak. This is the great place for intermediates to practice.5 The Outside Located beyond, where waves that is so great that it means your balls feels like raisin type of waves break. What I am saying is this is where the tsunami type of waves will appear. Patience is the key because the big ones are few and far apart, sometimes you might not even get one in one whole day. This place is solely for the elite surfers and also surfers with a death wish like xniquet.6 The ChannelThis is the safe and easiest route to paddle out to the peak and beyond. To safely head out to the peak, always look for darker patch of the water because that means that means water is deeper there and fewer wave breaks there. So remember to look me up if you are in Kuantan for surfing, I am always ready for a good ride and I plan to start a surfing school too but currently I am only accepting hot chic dressed in bikinis :D And So this is How the Malaysian Government is Lying to the People It is hard not to be glue to your TV at 8pm these days; everyone wants to find out what new sensational news on the Malaysia’s politic scene. Even at a family gathering at Lisa’s place, we were not spared by talks of politics and the prime time news. As we were flipping channels between the Malaysian TV channels RTM 1 and TV3 and the rest of the channel that was playing the evening news. They were showing the press conference by Teresa Kok who was a unjust victim of the Malaysia’s ISA and was released earlier that day. FYI, Radio Televisyen Malaysia or RTM is a Malaysian government-owned public broadcaster As of 2007, RTM controls about 17% of the television viewing market in the country, behind Media Prima ( TV3 and other shit channels) with 54% and Astro (Malaysia’s only cable) with 29%.[source wikipedia]On RTM1, they showed the footage of Teresa Kok’s press conference hours after she was released without any sound but with the newscaster reading about the news, saying that the Malaysia Police had treated her well; whereas on TV3, they actually showed the footage of Teresa Kok where she told the press that she was ill treated. She was hand cuffed and questioned like a criminal for hours and the food that they gave her was somewhat equivalent to food people gave their dogs - She only had two half cook eggs, gravy and some slices of cucumber for lunch and dinner. Which I think she was wrong in saying that because these days people feed their dogs better than that, ask woa woa . But that is not the point, I mean here we see RTM which is owned by the government twisting the truth. So does the government have to go so low, just to make themselves look good? And they go around arresting and detaining people who reports the fucking truth? Hey, if your police squat is so fucking righteous, why you don’t go arrest your own TV station for bending the truth, dip shits. So I urged everyone who is reading this to never believe what RTM is reporting because the stench of the BN led government is all over it and what they report is full of crap. The government are merely using RTM to cover their ass. RTM is shoving crap up the people’s head and the fucking government is suppressing the only truth that the people got by intimidating and arresting reporters and bloggers. So all you’s on the outside, please tell me, where the fuck is the integrity of a broadcaster to disseminate un-bias and truthful news to the people? Fuck it, I am leaving soon Malaysia soon. At a Clan Meeting With just hours after we reached Kuantan, I got a phone call from Lisa, saying that me and my family are invited to a “little” dinner gathering at her place. And so I thought it was just going to be her family and my family kind of dinner. So I wanted to whip up something for dessert to impress her mum. So with short span of time on my side, I set out to make an apple pie that could be our dessert for that night. I had little time on my hands because since I came back, I have been doing laundry upon laundry. It took 3 loads to finished my entire luggage, then I had to swing by my office to clear off some paperwork before heading to supermarket to get the ingredient for the dessert which I had to rely on my memory on what to get because I didn’t have the recipe with me. But I think it came out pretty alright; don’t let the looks fool you. It actually taste and smell like apple pie and it was an instant hit at the dinner gathering with nothing left. It looks uneven on the top because I didn’t have a brush to spread the egg yolk on top before putting it the oven; instead I used a spoon. The apple pie I made was actually a traditional American Apple pie with Prune, raisins and orange juice in it.Recipe for this pie is available at the xniquet-wiki – Traditional Apple PieAnd to think that it was just a family gathering really turned out to be somewhat like a clan gathering to me, Sekampung Bapak Lisa jemput [in Bahasa Melayu which means Lisa’s Dad invited a whole village]. I swear there were about 50 or more people there then again, it wasn’t outsiders, and it was all of Lisa’s family. From her cousins to aunties to uncles to all kind of relatives; it almost felt like Chinese New Year when everyone is around, but this time I don’t know most of them. I guess aborigine does stay very close to their family, that is why they are always looking for an excuse to celebrate, and this one was for me and Lisa, to welcome us back. I guess I could learn something from them, being such a big family and yet there are able to stay close to each other, whereas being the only two in my family, I haven’t even spoken to my sister for almost 3 years now. Anyway, this was more like a taste of what the wedding is going to be, God damn it, I am so not cut for weddings … the one about x's wedding Our flight has been delayed for 3 hours and I guess there will be sufficient time for one last post from LAX before I head home. It’s been a whole 2 months of fun for me and a month of fun for Lisa, even though I got sick 3 times here and I thank Cheeseburger Eddy for that but nevertheless he has been a great and tolerant host and a good friend. I love you man!!! (But not in a gay way) And for the record, after my humiliating lost, I manage to come back and defeat him in our little PS3’s WWE:”RAW vs Smackdown challenge but I didn’t manage to make Cheeseburger Eddy drink underwear brewed coffee because you know me, I am not that mean as everyone seems to put it. Instead he just has to cleanse his face and that is all. But he isn’t to use any ordinary facial cleanser but a ladies’ vaginal hygienic cleanser to wash his face. YAYY!!!!I have never have much interest in politics but these days, the politics in Malaysia is better than a lot of TVB drama or Bollywood movies and it is hard trying to ignore it. I know everyone in Malaysia has been going like what the fuck happen to 9/16 - the power transition date? Come on we need some closure, please ask the chicken shit PM to meet out with DSAI and put everything out in the open and let us be the judge of who is full of shit. Is meeting up so difficult? If you’re so sure that DSAI is lying his ass off, which don’t you meet up with him and expose all his lies? As a fucking PM I think you should at least have the balls to do so instead of hiding like a fringing coward. Because Malaysia wants to know who is the delusional one.But enough of politics already, here comes the important announcement. Yes, there is going to be a wedding but it ain’t going to be this year or anytime soon. We had a long talk and we agree that the best thing to do now is just to move in first before any date is being set. For the time being, we are just happy to be going home…