An Ox Tale of Two Auditions So before the end of the Year of the Ox, I managed to squeeze in two auditions. The first one was to be part of a company of actors that will help act out scripts churned out by Tisch students. I actually went for an earlier casting call late last year but didn’t get it, so when they held another one, I thought it was for a different cohort of students. I had prepared a different monologue from the last time and I saw some familiar faces amongst the students from the last time round. In the end, I didn’t manage to get in, but it got me thinking why they’d asked me to audition again if it wasn’t for a different cohort of students. In their rejection email, they say they might have another round in Fall, but I don’t think I would bother with auditioning again. The last audition was for an OKTO production and I must say I had fun with it as they put me through no less than 5 different improv situations. Man I really miss improvs. Now I’m hoping they don’t think I look too young for the role. This aspect of me is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse. For roles like this one its usually a curse. >. So that sums up the Year of the Ox for me. Here’s hoping the Tiger would be a roaring success for me! RAWWRR! Happy Chinese New Year! I would like to wish all my readers a very Happy Chinese New Year. May the Year of the Tiger be a roaring success for us all! Huat ah! Bordering Had a couple of casting calls these past two weeks for tvcs. So I inquired about the rates. One is a total buyout basis for S$800. The other is S$700, loading for five years. You gotta be kidding me. The Lost Chapters I’ll be appearing in tomorrow’s double bill episode of The Lost Chapters, which is screening on Channel 5. I think the series starts at 7pm and my episode will be on at 7.30pm. In case, you are wondering, yes, its the Lim Boon Keng episode. It might also be one of the last few times you’ll see me on telly, at least for a while. Pause About this time every year, I’ll give a full time report, and it will always have that as a title. Not having that as a title this time round probably speaks volume (or is it volumes?). But don’t get me wrong, it’s still a full time report for 2009. Sorta anyway. This year is, in all likelihood, worse than last year. The roles I’ve gotten were not only just as few, but they were far less meatier as well. Even the lead role didn’t feel like a lead role. So to call a spade a spade, this year kinda confirms the slide that began mid last year. The year is not a total washout though. True, I still crash and burn in the romance department but I prolly had my best April evar. I still managed to “pop” a few “cherries”. I hit a financial milestone. I achieved my financial target. I’ve always told myself that when it starts to slide, that’s when I have to consider Plan B. Thing is, I never really thought long and hard what Plan B should be. Heck my only other plan was, if I became too old to act, I’d start making films. No shit. I did start making inquiries during the year to see if I can get started somewhere. Not film-making though (cuz I foresee I’ll need capital for that and right now my capital is just a letter “c”) but more like a film buyer. Turns out this particularly part of the industry is not that easy to break into as well, and I wasn’t able to find any leads. So as I was wondering where my next step should be, one of my clients offered me a position. It’s not the first time; I believe this is like the third time in five years he has offered me a position. Imagine this : You are a waiter and the restaurant boss has been wanting to promote you for the past few years. The only catch is you have to do the job full time. And you have turned it down all this while because waitering gives you the flexibility to act. So over the years, you’ve turned down a supervisor role and a manager role. But now the owner comes and asks you to help run the business together. He’s offering you to be part of the business. And the acting’s really been shitty and you’re feeling kinda disllusioned and jaded already. It’s almost a no-brainer what you should do right? Granted that I wait on a totally different set of tables, this analogy is otherwise totally true for me. I did, however, delayed taking up this offer as long as I could; up to the end of the year in fact. It is not easy, putting your dreams on hold. I can’t even bring myself to say that I’m really giving this up. I feel like a failure. I feel like a quitter. What do you call people who stop chasing their dreams? It has been 10 years. At times its been a hell of a ride, but most of the time its been more like being stuck in a traffic jam. A very long traffic jam. I guess I’m getting out of the cab now. Is this the end? I hope not. I hoped I’ve pressed “pause” instead. Happy New Year guys. May it be a perfect 10 for all of you. Hive of Villiany and Scum Check this out from the very talented Jeff. It was truly the highlight of the awesome Christmas party last night. A party where I went there half-drunk and end up being half-sober while I was leaving. Some of you might not get all the jokes unless you are part of said hive though… but this might help. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas Wishing all my readers and the AnD community a Merry Merry Christmas and hangover free Boxing Day! The Lead That Wasn’t About a month back, I did a docudrama about the First Volunteer Force in Singapore, playing one of the co-founders, Mr Lim Boon Keng. Prior to the shoot, I have no idea who the dude was, other than he got some road named after him. So imagine my surprise when this came up from what I googled : Of course, I play a younger version of him. *koff koff* Anyway, although it was one of the two lead roles in the docudrama, I felt my involvement was just one of a supporting character. Out of 3 days of shoot, I was only involved in one and my most significant screen time was one when I deliver a speech to Parliament. It seems they liked my delivery of that speech very much, and it was also how I landed the role. I would of course very much preferred the other role, especially when I found out I’d get to have a wedding scene with a lovely bride… Anyway, I digress. The shoot was not a pleasant experience all together though. This was largely due to poor wardrobe logistics on the part of the production house. Imagine, they made us wear clothes and SOCKS that were worn by sweaty extras the day before, which were still damp! There was a huge battle scene the day before involving the extras in uniform and you can imagine the yucky feeling I had when I had to wear them in the state that they are. I’ve been to many shoots before, and this is the first time I’ve been treated this badly in this aspect. But like they say, the show must go on. It does make me reconsider working with them in the future though. This was the uniform I had to wear. Makes me look more like a Jap soldier, no? The other wardrobe change I had was thankfully clean clothes at last. I think this makes me look like a perv. Somewhere out there, Mr Lim must be rolling in his grace. Towards the end of the shoot, I had to wear back the same yucky uniform again. And when I finish my scenes, they asked me if I could do a stand-in for one actor who had failed to turn up. I was like wtf? But thankfully, they manage to get hold of him eventually and I did not had to make a decision on that matter. I went straight home and had a long shower to scrub myself clean. Like I said, not a pleasant experience all together. I’m alive! Not dead, though this blog has been dead for the past two months. What have I been up to? Apart from just one shoot, I’ve been kinda in a state of funk. But details of that shoot later. Jill told me to sign myself up on alivenotdead.com, so I did. And in doing so, I found out I actually have an IMDb credit! I’m alive!! And Then I get my first lead role in 2 years. Its a docudrama again (I might be, as what Jerry had labeled, the docudrama king after all), and I play the role of Lim Boon Keng on a story on how the first Straits Settlement Volunteer Army was formed. Its not a particularly meaty role, especially when compared to the past lead roles I’ve had and I think the other leading role appears to be more dramatic. But still its still a leading role and it kinda signals a stop to the slide. Which brings me to an interesting dilemma… Keeping The Dream Alive Been to a slew of auditions lately. And just like an athlete who has laid off training for a while, I’ve struggled to find my form due to a very slow and dry acting season thus far. But thankfully, bit by bit, I’m finding my form and last Wednesday’s audition could perhaps be my best performance thus far this year; although by my own standards, I’m nowhere near top form yet. The year’s coming to an end and if nothing still comes up, it would confirm that I’m on a slide. Which may well mean I’ll have to push myself off this playground or hop to another swing. In the meantime, I’ll do all I can to rage against the dying of the light. Five Minutes Five minutes before the audition, I had the mother of all stomach upsets. And five minutes after the bombing run, I was whisked into the audition room. The feeling of having shitted your brains out lingered throughout the whole monologue performance … I hope I manage to not pull off the constipated look. “We’ve seen what we needed to see” was the comment given, and within five minutes, my audition was over. Easy Like Sunday Morning Had my first eight hours of sleep in a long long time. My body is loving me again. Some random pics : Bangers & Mash Bangers & Mash is an exciting new design firm that helped errm design my name card. Yeah, I know it’s weird for an actor to have one, but I had it made primarily because of the workshop, thinking it would be of some use. So far, I daresay, I’ve given it out more to curious friends than people in the industry. Anyway, I digress, this post is to plug Bangers & Mash! These guys have been very helpful and I think the ideas that they come up with during the process was definitely not run-of-the-mill. In fact, they pooed pooed all my suggestions as “been there, done that”. I don’t know whether to feel insulted or blessed. I decided to feel blessed. This was the final draft of the card : My personal choice was the last one or the middle one, but they told me this, amongst other things : “The first one doesn’t fit the stereotype of you / shows another side of you, so you won’t get typecast in roles.” Needless to say, I was sold and the next issue was the color of the background, whether to choose a white background and make it look more like a Polaroid. In the end, the white one was chosen as it would make more visual impact and get people to talk about it. So the final product was : Cool huh? Do check them out and see other samples of their work! Rusty It might have been a difficult scene to do, but boy, am I rusty… After my rant last night, I think I have cooled down and can now look at this thing objectively. Like it or not, I think I do need the practice and short of hiring an acting coach, this is the cheapest option (not that it is cheap). Plus there are networking opportunities which who knows might turn into something down the road. And also I don’t wanna let my efforts and money spent on making a name card go to waste. This evening’s session was helmed by Malcolm Young. I think I was a bit too “disrespectful” during the session as I was really treating it like an actual filming of the scene, so I didn’t take too kindly to his directions which seemed out of whack for the scene. I think the rest of the participants were appalled by my actions lol. Anyhoo, I introduced myself to him after the session and he told me he recognised me from my demo reel from youtube. Fwah … and here I thought no one watches my showreel on youtube. Too Good To Be True “Every week Wednesday between 7p.m.-9p.m. we conduct an actors scene work session. These sessions only consist of between 6-8 actors that participate in scene work; ensuring there is sufficient time and takes to push performance and establish the makings of character in each scene. We invite film directors with credits to conduct these sessions with us and this is supported by Sinema Old School which is an organisation that is the independent feature film hub of Singapore. They are most pro-active within the arts community here specifically related to film. We are, for the first time - opening the portal up for other actors out there to join us in scene work. Spaces are strictly limited and the pre-requisite for attending is that this is NOT a session suitable for actors with no experience as it is not an acting 101 workshop. We focus on performance and character and working with real directors so our selection process is based on the work you have done as actors. We invite all those with short film, theatre, TV experience to find these sessions most beneficial.“ When I first received the above email, I was quite excited. It’s not been a good year for me so far and I thought this was the best bit of news I’ve heard so far. I mean you kidding me? A scene work session? I know a lot of actors who would definitely want to be part of this. So I applied and got in and this is an excerpt from the confirmation email that I got : “You need a scene partner, and I will match you up with an actor that matches your acting calibre. Each session is $15 per actor as you get to work with a director and the actors attending also provide performance feedback. Let me know if you will be attending next weeks session by Friday 27th August. If you have confirmed your attendance and then pull out, you will forfeit the $15. Please ensure if you are unable to make it that you provide at least 48 hours notice.” Perhaps in my excitement, I’ve read the email wrongly. But did it just say I would get paid $15 to do this? Yeah, I know, it sounds too good to be true. I wasn’t expecting to pay for the session but was definitely not expecting to be paid as well. Guess what, after rehearsing a scene with my partner for tomorrow’s session, I found out that it really was too good to be true. It’s us, the actors, that would have to pay $15 for a 1/2 hour session. Nowhere in the first email, and in the facebook group which they invited me to join, was there any mention or indication of us having to pay to be involved in this session. So I asked why we had to pay for these sessions. My partner, who was one of the very first actors to be involved in this, explained that they were told it was for the rental of the place and for the director invited to these sessions. The funny thing was these sessions started out as a very casual thing between actors and it was free, and there was no director involved initially. Then they started charging $8, $10 and now $15 per actor and bringing in directors. So, let’s see here… the director gets paid? Wow, and here I thought this was a mutually beneficial session between for directors and actors. So how come the burden of these sessions fall on the actors? We even have to come out with our own scripts for crying out loud. If we don’t want a director to be involve, can the price be lower? To pay for rental of the premise is fair I suppose. If we assume everything goes to the rental, this would work out to be $120 over a two hour session. Which makes it $480 a day and $14,400 a month (8 hr day, 30 day month). When you look at it this way, it doesn’t seem cheap eh? Needless to say, I am quite disappointed by all this. It’s not a matter of whether I can afford the $15 but more of a sense of actors being exploited again. I mean, they are not even being upfront about having to pay for these sessions at all! It is too late for me to pull out at this point, as it wouldn’t be fair to my partner. But I will try to gather more facts tomorrow and see if the situation is really as bad as it seems. Its a real pity though; I truly thought this was a good thing for us actors. Now it’s just leaving an awful taste in my mouth. Offer Slightly more than a year ago, a client offered a full time position for me. Back then, I politely declined, saying that I want to see how the new English drama direction will unfold and to see if there could be more opportunities forthcoming. One year down the road, the reality is that there don’t seem to be more opportunities for me. In fact, I think I’ve just had the worst year in acting … and counting. When I first started pursuing this dream, I told myself I’ll have to re-evaluate my options when things started to head downhill. Last year was not a particular good year in acting, and this year ain’t not much better so far. By any indication, things are going downhill. I had wanted to take a break after clearing my backlog of projects to sort myself out. I guess I might have to do that sooner, because two days ago, the client called me into his office and reiterated his offer to me. Talk about timing. I guess this is something I have to ponder long and hard over. Death In The Family Just came back from my grandma’s funeral. She passed away on Sunday night, and today, we cremated her. She was all of 91 years old and had taken care of me while I was young. I’m her oldest grandson by virtue of age. I can’t really recall a lot of fond memories of the past now, save for just two :- The first one was when I tried to imitate the lion dancers by putting a paper bag over my head and prancing around to imaginary drum beats. My enthusiasm and “method acting” resulted in me banging my head against the top corner of a kerosene can, which resulted in a deep gash that needed whole lot of stitches (you can still see the almost Harry Potterish scar). Grandma was there when it happened and she kept scolding and scolding me even as she escorted me to hospital. On hindsight, I guess this was the earliest indication of my passion for acting. She continued to scold and nag after I got discharged, thereby building in me from young, a surprising resilience to nagging. For the record, I did prance again with the paper bag, but only in her absence and by not totally covering my eyes. The novelty soon wore off though. The second incident was when I got into my first fight, which was in kindergarten. My grandma told me that it required her and three other adults to pull me away from my “victim” and she kept harping and harping about it during my recuperation period from disfigurement. (Kenna disfigured cuz the wuss of a kid scratched my face instead of punching/kicking me. Long nails he has) After NS, I saw less and less of my grandma. In fact we only saw her during Chinese New Year. I stand guilty as charge for not maintaining the relationship after adulthood had set in and I got more and more preoccupied with my own life. My grandpa had passed away 14 years ago and I can only imagine how lonely she must have been all these while; and I have not done much at all to alleviate her loneliness. Thankfully, not all her grandchildren are as heartless or self-absorbed as me. I could tell from the wake that a few of them were truly sad and were deeply mourning for her. I don’t cry at funerals but as we partake in the last rites today, in particular the walking behind the coffin part, a wave of emotion came over me as I recall this woman who had cared for me deeply and was always so proud of my meager achievements. Heck, even as I’m writing this, I’m fighting back the tears. Although she had lived a long life, hers was certainly not the way to go, and the only comfort we had I guess was that death was ultimately a release for her. She had been paralytic for almost a year and had lost the ability to speak coherently as well. She had bed sores as a result of this, and the bed sores were so bad that you could even see her bones. So in her final days at the hospital, she struggled to talk. But we couldn’t make out what she was trying to say. So her last words, whatever they may be, were really lost on us. I knew one of her greatest wish was to see me get married. It’s not difficult to imagine her surviving so many years after grandpa died just to drink her intended grand-daughter-in-law’s tea. But alas in this respect I have failed her miserably. Although I couldn’t hear any of her last words to me, the last thing I said to her was not to worry, I will find someone, and I will marry. So be at peace and rest, Ah Ma. Gisele’s Jealousy So after queuing for 2.75 hours on Saturday, I’ve finally gotten my hands on the spanking new iPhone 3GS, thereby finally upgrading my 2G (Phoebe) after 2.5 years. Gisele, however is not taking too kindly to my restoring a backup of Phoebe into her. And boy, is she making a big deal out of it. My text messages will disappear after I exit the SMS application and I can’t save new notes, and have trouble opening the older ones as well. If I however set up the phone as a new phone, she works like a charm and purrs with my every touch. Is it me or is my iPhone behaving like a real lady?!! Farewell Phoebe Bye Phoebe! You’ve been a wonderful and faithful companion over these 2 plus years, and I’ll miss you. Thanks for the memories! Grandfather Story “Did ya know grandpa once dated a model?” That is if I ever become a grandfather. Danke, Jean, for a lovely evening. An Open Letter/Tweet/Plurk To Shu Qi Dear Shu Qi, If by chance you don’t marry Mr Lucky-Bastard-Chang when you are 35, will you marry me instead? Yours truly and hoping to be truly yours, Vincent What The Doctor Ordered So my doctor just called me up all of a sudden to tell me that he saw me on telly last night. Apparently, they did a rerun of my Incredible Tales episode last year in a brand new rehash series called “The Best Of Incredible Tales”. He told me he didn’t know it was me at first; in fact he was drawn to the episode because he thought the lead actor was acting very well. He was intrigued and wanted to know who this actor was, and as he watched he gradually found him more and more familiar. So he purposely waited until the credits rolled and lo and behold, much to his amazement, it was yours truly! He told me my acting was very natural and that I’m really a good actor. Needless to say, by the end of the conversation, he had me beaming to the skies. Audience appreciation, at a time when I’m at my most jaded, couldn’t be more timely I guess. But to be honest, I don’t know if this is enough for me to stay the course. But more on this subject another time. Right now, I just want to bask in the moment a bit. On another note, I guess this should prove beyond a shadow of a doubt I can do non-villiany roles. Screen Actors Guild Was busy prepping for my ICT and almost forgot that I wanted to share a response to the ongoing-but-seems-to-be-dying-off saga of the auditions for Just For Laughs. I think she hits the nail right on the head. The press did cover this too, but I can’t say they really explained the situation to the public. One thing’s clear though : We need better representation and protection as actors. Perhaps now is the right time for a local screen actors guild. No Laughing Matter This was just brought to my attention and I do feel a huge sense of indignation after reading this : This message goes out primarily to the actors in the Arts Community, although I am sure it will be of interest to other members as well. Mediacorp has been calling up actors and making appointments with them to attend an audition at Mediacorp for an English-language project which has been described as a “still in development drama-dy”. This is in fact completely disingenuous. In the account that I heard from an actor who attended the audition on 25 May 2009, the waiting time was in excess of an hour and a half past the scheduled appointment time. When the auditionee is finally ushered into the area in which the audition is supposed to take place, he or she is given several forms to fill out. The area is reported to resemble a badly-constructed mock up of a tv-set. The auditionee will be left alone in the room. After some time has passed, the auditionee will hear a knock that appears to come from inside the wardrobe that is on the set. There will also be a voice of someone claiming to be locked in the wardrobe, asking the auditionee to let them out. When the auditionee opens the wardrobe, it will be empty. At some point after this, the crew will burst out from concealment, and announce something to the effect of “Surprise, you’re on ‘Just For Laughs- Gags’!” I was saddened and angered to learn that this is how Mediacorp treats working actors today. This was a deliberately concocted scheme to lure professional actors into a humiliating trap. The people who attended devoted their time and their skills in preparation for what they believed to be an audition for a role in a professional tv series. Some may have given up other opportunities for work in order to attend. These actors responded in good faith to what they thought was an opportunity for work, and they were treated abysmally. If you feel the same way I do, please spread the word. Let people know that this happened. Tell friends in the industry. Tell friends who are not in the industry, but who watch Mediacorp TV. If you work in Mediacorp or for Mediacorp, please speak about this to your colleagues. Ask whose idea this was, and who ok-ed it. Tell other people how you feel. I am aware that this is only one part of the story. Those from Mediacorp who perpetuated this charade will undoubtedly have their own version of events. Nevertheless, at this time I find it necessary to state that I personally cannot imagine any circumstance or combination of circumstances that can excuse such behavior. It is never permissible to treat other people without respect. Sincerely, Brendon Fernandez Singaporean Actor I’m sure there are people who think we are reacting too strongly to this, but I can assure you that to actors, this no laughing matter at all. The Black Dragon Cometh The Ultimatum starts this Wednesday, 27 May, 9pm on TCS 8. Which means I’ll be appearing as the so-obviously-named-to-be-a-gangster Black Dragon this Wednesday, 27 May, 9pm on TCS 8. I’m going to look so ugly and so badass, you’ll probably won’t recognise me. And thank God for that. One Night @ Wala Wala T’was the last night before Shirl leaves us for 9 weeks … Ruok@Wala Wala from AhTiong73 on Vimeo. I seriously need to lose weight. >. A+ Last week I received the cheque for my Black Dragon role. It was the highest amount I’ve ever received from them for a day’s shoot, and it represented an increment of over 40%. By my rough calculations, this is what they pay the highest part-time grade, “A+”. My grade since they upgraded me about 2 years ago was “A”, and “A+”, I was told, is the pinnacle. Of course, I might be wrong and they prolly just up the pay for all the grades this year. But I’m not going to call them and ascertain this. Cuz the last time I confirmed my upgrading, they kinda badgered me into accepting more roles. And after the almost burning of bridge incident last year, I don’t think I want to go ruffle feathers again. Anyway, its not like the grading is gonna make a WHOLE lot of difference into the type of role they’ll be giving me. I think I’ll give myself the benefit of the doubt and assume I have, at long last, reach this milestone. So what’s next ah? Withdrawal Symptoms April 2009 will probably go down as THE month to top, and I’m having withdrawal symptoms already. Free alcohol, free food, partying with Playmates, two heck of birthday bashes and fine, fine company. I seriously think it doesn’t get any better than this, although boo tells me my wedding day will top all this. That is, if I ever,ever get married. The free alcohol started with the whisky tasting, followed by the generosity of VIP Magazine that plied us with drinks during the launch and after launch party, followed by the Bar Stop’s 5th anniversary, which handed us free flow of house pours for about an hour. Gee … I just remembered I’ve got another bottle of champagne waiting for me at Wala. The sad part about April was of course seeing the last of Shirlyn till 9 weeks later. But I’m just glad that her last two gigs coincided with my birthday and I had an awesome time. So if I had the pleasure of your company during this time, I hope you had a blast as well (thanks Jeff for an awesome montage!). Personal Ad First time MINI driver looking for a play mate to share this cherry popping ride. She must be willing to be driven crazy and have the time of her life. And if you promise to misbehave, you might just get to play with the gear stick. So if you think you are up for it, shift that gear into position and buckle up babe. Let’s take a ride into the wild side. This was what I wrote to land a date with these Playmates (Technically, Joy, the one on my right was my date)