The Facebook Friend It’s that time of the year again. It’s the season when the stifling scent of joss sticks fills the air, and a pall of smoke hangs over the land. A time when little kids are told in no uncertain terms to say ‘excuse me‘ before they go peepee in the bushes. Kawaii, aren’t they? Shaken by last year’s harrowing encounter with the Binomial Zombie, Miss Loi decided not to stay too late at The Temple tonight, preferring to do up her colourful cutie set of formula sheets within the relative safety of her home this time round. After a marathon workout session with the laptop, a tired Miss Loi did what most skiving teenagers at her age would do when they take a break from studying: login to her Facebook account. Sieving through the many dodgy friend requests that invariably showed up, she was drawn to this particular one: The helpless-looking plea triggered her mathematical maternal instinct, and coupled with her excitement at meeting another Loi, made her click the ‘Confirm’ button without hesitation, totally failing to notice her long unkempt hair, and her Japanese-sounding first name. A while later this appeared on Miss Loi’s wall Miss Loi duly replied: And she replied: And then Miss Loi replied again: And finally she replied: And this was what Miss Loi saw … At the very moment a stunned Miss Loi finished viewing the video, the Facebook notification icon at the bottom-right of her screen popped up with a message … … and she found this message waiting for her in her inbox Now that YOU have watched the video, you have seven days to post up the solution here in order to save yourself from being dragged into your monitor screen by Sadako Loi! Something’s Gotten Hold Of My Heart Miss Loi, start your engine! (By the way, with the impending final exams, all your ‘engines’ should have started loooong ago) All students should be shifting to your highest gear by now! And your wheels should be set in motion … It may seem daunting for you to cram all the endless formulae, especially when your brain seems to lack the storage space, like this minuscule boot. But things will be much, much better through regular PRACTICE. And may you rev rev rev towards your Salvation! Take all setbacks you encounter as temporary, but make sure you LEARN from every one of them Time to spread your wings! Time for a new set of distance-time graph, speed-time graph and acceleration-time graph =) Happy Day Of The ‘Chers! A busy August has flown by. With a blink of an eye, the Day of the ‘Chers has arrived. (It rhymes!) Mr Loi’s Teachers’ Day Cake A day when ‘Chers (at least the non-hated ones) around Singapore get inundated with cutesy gifts, some of which are so exquisitely wrapped that it feels sinful just thinking about opening them. No Royce chocolate melted during the filming process When they repeatedly get “Awww ….“, “Awwwwwwww ….“, “AWWWWWWWWWW ….” reading the numerous emo messages dedicated to them. Awwwww … And a day when Miss Loi receives her report book from her student *sweats* I PASSED! I PASSED!!!!11111 While Miss Loi (and all the Lois at The Temple) is once again extremely thankful and flattered by your messages and gifts (and the time some of you spent to make them), the Ultimate Gift that she craves and lusts from you shall always remain unchanged: that A1 for your O-Levels! Last but not least, if you haven’t yet done so or, like someone with a crush, just can’t bring yourself to say it in front of your stern-looking Cher (but deep down you desperately want to with all your heart), here’s a great chance now for you to do it at Teachersday.sg and show your love (not confess your crush!) and appreciation and repent your sins to The One who, though stern-looking, have been working tirelessly each day driving your forward, marking your homework, checking if you have H1N1, putting up with your nonsense - all in the name of helping you live up to your full potential. At the end of day, it’s always, always the little thought that count isn’t it? Happy Teachers’ Day Everyone! Tora! Tora! Tora! Miss Loi’s neglected carclick to see how horribly dirty it is With the return of the haze and Miss Loi’s recent absence away in the Plane of Geometry, the poor car is looking a little neglected these days. Dismayed and feeling depressed like a guilty parent each time she saw the dismal state of its paintwork, Miss Loi decided to send the car for a long-overdue wash plus pamper it with one of those much-touted “car grooming” sessions. When she collected her car later in the day, her depression was cured instantly by the uplifting sight of its dazzling shine. Words could not describe the silky sensation as she ran her slim fingers slowly across its smooth immaculately-waxed body, now free of the minuscule scratches and parabolic swirls that once scarred it. It was almost like getting a new car, and this feeling stayed with her throughout her drive to a new student’s home, situated at the end of a straight road in a carpark-deprived area, for her next tuition session. Bird’s eye view - Miss Loi’s somewhere down there As she slowly walked away, turning her head every few steps to admire the shine of her parked car, little did she realize that this glint of a shine would attract the attention of a little bird perched on a large tree at the end of the road. Before long the area was slowly draped by a large shadow that caused Miss Loi to stop in her tracks, look up, and stare in utter horror at a huge fleet of birds flying towards her direction in an aggressive-looking formation, each with its … umm … “crosshairs” trained on the car. The air raid siren in her mind sounded, and it was sheer luck that got her to the car in time before these terrors in the sky rained destruction upon the land. When heroes are born In heroic scenes that followed, left and right she swerved her car as she strived to save it from the relentless onslaught, narrowly avoiding bomb after bomb of waste matter that whistled through the air before landing with a sickening *splat* inches away from her. Just when it seemed certain the car would be martyred on this very day, the flock began to turn back, as Miss Loi charged her way to freedom beyond the bombing range, immensely relieved that her superb driving skills had somehow saved her from the pounding. But now she’s stuck at the end of the road, in a tense face-off with the evil birds on the tree at the opposite end readying themselves for the next bombing run, while her new student waits patiently for her in her house … Noticing the pattern of the impact points along the road, Miss Loi suspects that their distance d from the centre of the road and the distance x along the road is connected by the equation Bravely measuring a few samples along certain intervals on the road, Miss Loi recorded the following sets of values: x (m) 5 10 15 20 25 30 d (m) 2.50 0.9 3.21 2.85 2.50 2.20 Given there’s nowhere else she can park her car other than along the centre of the narrow road (inside the bombing range), *use a suitable graph to examine the validity of Miss Loi’s equation, and estimate the values of a and b. At which point (x) along the road should Miss Loi park her car to minimize the chances of it being hit i.e. where d is maximum? *This is a Linear Law question requiring you to plot a graph on a piece of graph paper. You may generate a piece of graph paper online should you not to have one with you. As Miss Loi doesn’t have any graph paper with her (shame on her!), can you please help her find the safest spot to park her shiny car so that she can start her new student’s tuition session on time with peace of mind? Trapped In The Plane Of Geometry It was noon at The Temple when Miss Loi was totally engrossed in trying to obtain the proof in a nasty Plane Geometry question sent earlier by a student. After staring for what seemed like an eternity at the question’s diagram, her 阴阳眼 simply would not come and she was beginning to get very tired, partly due to the ridiculous phone call that cut short her sleep in the morning. Never one to give up easily in the face of adversity and face the ignominy of hearing a “Haha! Miss Loi also dunno how to do!“, she rubbed her eyes and continued to stare intensely at the diagram. So intense was her gaze that a circle in the diagram seemed to grow larger and larger as it beckoned her to lean closer and closer … so close that she felt almost at one with the question and could almost feel the closeness of the solution that she desperately sought. Suddenly, an unknown force reached out and, to her horror, pulled her headfirst into the circle! In the harrowing moments that followed, she was whisked through a tunnel lined with circles, triangles, tangents, secants, chords and all manner of grotesque polygons from the O-Level A-Maths Syllabus. After what seemed like an eternity, she landed with a big thump right in front of a weathered-looking Right-Angled Triangle (RAT), who muttered Oh boy here comes another 走火入魔 one. Who are you? Where am I? asked Miss Loi as she meticulously checked for any facial scar arising from the rough landing. You’re at the Plane of Geometry. The realm of all killer Plane Geometry questions. And you, of all people, should know that I’m the Right-Angled Triangle alias Pythagoras Theorem - introduced to most during Sec One/Two and some say even PSLE! But they hardly think about me anymore. Can you show me the way back to The Temple? The RAT continued to grumble. These days all the young people here only care about the ‘latest’ fads like the Tangent-Secant Theorem etc. They hardly think about me anymore. Uncle! I really need your help! I’ve got a class to teach in a few hours’ time! AND I WANT MY NATIONAL DAY LONG WEEKEND!!! I will show you the way if you can show me the following: P is a point outside the circle such that PA and PB are tangents to the circle of centre O. M is the mid-point of AB and the secant line PDC cuts the chord AB at E. Show that: ΔPMA is similar to ΔBMO PA×BM = BO×PM PE² = PD×PC − DE×CE As Miss Loi has somehow lost her 阴阳眼 ability, can you help her find her way back to The Temple? Meanwhile the RAT continued to mumble … They hardly think about me anymore … So Long, And Thanks For All The Worksheets When smoke fills The Temple at each joss sticks session, and students get relentlessly bombarded by question after question from Miss Loi’s worksheets, few would notice a secret group of teens busily typing away in another room. Meet C and G (names hidden to protect their identities lest they get interrogated on the whereabouts of their workplace), Microsoft Word extraordinaire and worksheet generating machines. The indispensible G (left) and C (right)- C happens to be a former student of Miss Loi Part of the select few who have earned the misfortune rare honour of being trained in the dark art of drawing pretty diagrams the likes of those seen on this blog, C and G have been working feverishly behind the scenes churning out customized notes, worksheets and formula sheets and buying kopi on demand, so that Miss Loi can save time from compiling them and spend more time instead chiding helping students who can’t do the questions contained within these worksheets. Customized notes, worksheets and formula sheets combined and compiled from various books and sources by C & G to tekan students in each joss sticks session. Beautiful works of art aren’t they? But now the time has come for them to leave to pursue their own dreams in their respective universities, and fill The Temple with a sudden sense of emptiness with their departure. Aftermath of the farewell lunch Nonetheless Miss Loi would like to take this opportunity to say a BIG Thank You for everything you girls (and those before you i.e. M etc.) have done. The place will never be the same again without your laughter and the “Nobody nobody but chu!” that Miss Loi can hear even when she’s teaching 2-3 rooms away. Now Miss Loi will just have to learn to become a worksheet churning machine herself Unveiling The Temple’s Signboard Till now, students, devotees, parents, postmen, pesky salesmen, stalkers etc. passing through The Temple Gates have all been greeted by the sight of this featureless wall. Dull, brooding wall Recognizing that a dull, brooding grey wall isn’t exactly the best thing to stir up the excitement of a new student, lift the spirits of weary devotees, or to assure postmen and stalkers that they’ve indeed come to the right place, the venerable High Priestess decided to dip into The Temple’s funds to commission the building of a great sign … A sign that would be hewn and produced from a single large 4 × 3 feet slab of acrylic by the finest artisans from Bras Basah Complex (that wouldn’t rip her off), and one that she ended up having to carry to The Temple by herself in an epic journey from the carpark The Sign at the End of the 38 Steps A sign that would now greet all at the end of their arduous climb up the fabled 38 Steps. One whose very sight of it would rejuvenate the lowest of spirits in the darkest of days, strike fear into those infected by the LMBFH Syndrome, and make all worries for tomorrow’s test/exam go away (provided you’ve done your revision). Most importantly, it serves to remind all that THIS IS MISS LOI’S TEMPLE, where attaining your Salvation comes with ONE BIG CONDITION: Touch it on your way to the exam hall for some Harry Potter-ish “Temple Luck” You’ll Never Walk Alone We Say! Torres! Torres! UPDATE: A mysterious package containing a thumbdrive appeared on Miss Loi’s desk today, along with a note demanding her to “UPLOAD THIS!”. In the interest of everyone’s safety at The Temple, she had no choice but to comply … Obviously Miss Loi didn’t plan this blog post (nor its incomprehensible title). In fact she’s forced to write this under duress from the Liverpool faction of The Temple who ran like a crazy pack of 追星一族 to nearby Novena Square Velocity to bring back these photos … Thank goodness these two didn’t hang around long enough for the chorus of piercing screams from the assembled horde to affect today’s joss sticks sessions. Please, the O-Levels are just three months away - don’t spend so much time watching football and study hard okay?! (now this IS written by Miss Loi) By the way, which one is Carragher and which one is Torres? Of Approximation And That Granny On A Trishaw You DO get this, right? As if the world hasn’t had enough of the geek calendar, today (being 22 July) (Edit: Actually it was yesterday - couldn’t post this in time ) happens to be Pi Approximation Day - a day to honour that often-used fraction to approximate the value of π, though in reality etc. are actually better approximations. Speaking of approximation, Miss Loi would like to pay a little homage on this day to this most primal and basic of mathematical topics. A topic that many of us first may have first grasped from the Granny of that classic folk song: 『三轮车，跑得快，上面坐個老太太。 要五毛，給一块，你说奇怪不奇怪！』 Translation: Granny was so impressed with her fast & furious trishaw that she rounded off her $0.50 fare to the nearest dollar. A topic that resurfaced later in life when a mean taxi uncle (who knew you haven’t been taught approximation in school yet) asked for $10 when the meter showed $9.70. Or when you somehow instinctively brought along $50 to a sale to grab five items at $9.90 each, for nothing would be left if you had to return home to get more money. Or that Miss Loi’s weight will always be 50 kg (correct to the nearest 10 kg) everytime you asked her … In any case, do take a moment today to reflect on the following rules which are, well, supposedly so simple it’s laughable for anyone old enough not to be cheated by mean taxi uncles. Rounding Off A Number Take the digit to the right of the specified (decimal) place/significant figure. If digit , drop this digit/replace with zeros to keep place value. If digit ≥ 5, add 1 to digit on the left before dropping/replace with zeros to keep place value. 要五毛，給一塊, and the 三輪車 Granny is always right! ALWAYS use/show at least 1 more decimal place/sig. fig. in your intermediate workings and only round off to the required decimal places/sig. fig. in your final answer. CASE-IN-POINT: See Miss Loi’s O-Level ’significant’ careless mistake Rules of Significant Figures All non-zero digits (i.e. 1-9) and zeros in between them are significant. e.g. 12 (2 sig. fig.), 12.5 (3 sig. fig.), 1.025 (4 sig. fig.) Zeros ARE significant UNLESS they are at the beginning of a decimal less than 1 e.g. 0.007 (1 sig. fig.), 0.071 (2 sig. fig.), 1.007 (4 sig. fig.) *they are at the end of a whole number e.g. *87 000 (2, 3, 4 or 5 sig. fig.), 8.7000 (5 sig. fig.) *Depends on how estimation is made e.g. 86 999.5 ≈ 87 000 (correct to 5 sig. fig.) 86 995 ≈ 87 000 (correct to 4 sig. fig.) 86 990 ≈ 87 000 (correct to 3 sig. fig.) 86 900 ≈ 87 000 (correct to 2 sig. fig.) 86 000 ≈ 90 000 (correct to 1 sig. fig.) Note how we round off the digit to the right of the required no. of significant figures. Ultimately, however, do be aware that this seemingly-innocuous topic actually harvests itself in more than half of the questions in any O-Level exam that require numerical answers, as pre-warned on the cover page of every paper (which some of you never ever read ): Give non-exact numerical answers correct to 3 significant figures, or 1 decimal place in the case of angles in degrees, unless a different level of accuracy is specified in the question. Or unless you want to self-PWN. And in this era of foreign cyborgs and “90% to get A1!” moderation, failure to adhere to the above Commandment has often led to minor loss of marks here and there that could sadly mean the difference between grades, euphoria and despair. Be careful when using the value of an answer from an earlier part. Even Miss Loi fell prey to this ’significant’ careless mistake in the 2008 O-Level EMaths Paper 2 *sigh* But having said this, Miss Loi and some of her students have always wondered what exactly is a “non-exact numerical” answer? What if an answer showed exactly 1.2345678 in your calculator - should you leave as such or round it off to 1.23 (3 sig. fig.)? Hmmm … 你说奇怪不奇怪? A Midsummer’s Night Dream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ….“ The despairing cry made its way from dream to reality as a distraught Miss Loi sat up in bed in the middle of the night, with her heart still rapidly beating from a nightmare that had felt so frighteningly real. That vivid scene from the dream continued to play out over and over again in her head as she drove along the PIE the following morning, causing a train of frustrated cars to form behind hers, as she was in no mood to notice the incessant horning and flashing of headlights when her speed dropped from 90 km/h to 70 km/h to 50 km/h … Recognizing the futility of trying to shake off the recurring images in her mind, she decided to turn off the expressway and head towards the scene of the nightmare, for if the terrible dream was true, life would have lost some of its meaning, and a part of her future would be in grave jeopardy. At her favourite boutique in Far East Plaza, Miss Loi asked the regular salesgirl who has always served her in all her visits Hey you know what? I dreamt of you quitting the shop last night! Must be just a dream right? Coz if it’s real, who’s gonna give me my regular discount next time??? The salesgirl’s eyes widened. 小姐, this kind of things cannot anyhow say! My boss over there can hear! She then leaned forward, smiled and said, “But since I know that my boss didn’t pass her O-Level EMaths, I can tell you this …” Let y be my salary, and x be the time that has passed since I’ve joined this shop. Before I joined this shop, my previous pay was represented by y=a−x+c, where a=2 and c=580. After I joined this shop, my salary over time is represented by y=axn+c. Initially I humbly asked for a=20, n=2 and c=500. But my boss was kind enough to offer me a=15, n=1 and c=550, which I accepted. A couple of years later, when I charted my salary records using what I’ve learnt from this website, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually a=−100, n=−2 and c=600. Furthermore, after a review, a became 550, n became 0 and c became 0 for a long period of time. And now my friendly boss has even decided to give me a bonus by making a=−1, n=3 and c=600! So do you think there is any chance that I will quit? While your question on Graphs won’t exactly appear in this form in your O-Level E-Maths Paper 1, Miss Loi thinks that sketching out all the graphs described by the salesgirl above will give E-Maths students some practice to familiarise themselves with some of the shapes of the 12 Graphs of Functions and, at the same time, convince Miss Loi that it was, after all, just a bad dream. P.S. Please just focus on the shapes of the graphs more than anything else. The Terrifying O1NK Virus Outbreak 如有雷同纯属巧合 It started with a little “oink!” from a student when asked “Who was the former President of the United States?” by his teacher in class. Appalled by this apparent display of rudeness, the teacher sent the student to stand outside the classroom. Shocked and puzzled by his dismissal, the sad student cut a forlorn figure outside his classroom, and couldn’t hold back a sneeze at a passing group of giggly girls. That group of giggly girls giggled at their exclusive naughty joke all the way to the tuckshop, where one of them sneezed while taking her bowl of fish ball noodles from the stall aunty, who in turn sneezed while disposing her stall’s leftovers at the rubbish dump, startling a passing kitten, who in turn let out a BIG KITTY SNEEZE later amidst all the “SOOOOO CUTE!!!” while being caressed by a large gathering of girls, since it was, after all, the school’s resident kitty. O1NK victim at late stage of the disease After the dust had settled, the giggles turned into a series of oinks, the kitty spooked everyone with an oink, and students thought the stall aunty was selling bak chor mee. When certain portions of the school assembly sounded like a pig farm as they sang the National Anthem the following morning, the school principal was sufficiently alarmed to hastily convene a staff meeting, where the Biology HOD stood up and said, Sir, I have grave news. Using my lab’s sophisticated equipment, we’ve concluded that the students and the cat have been infected by a new, highly-contagious O1NK strain of the influenza virus. We believe the first student caught it via contact with Aussie pigs in his Australian Farmstay tour during the school holiday. As per the H1N1 virus, steps are being taken to set up checkpoints at our school gate. Anyone found to reply “oink” when asked for his/her name will be turned away. In addition, the following info was obtained from contact tracing: The school has a total 1500 students. The spread of the virus, since the first student was discovered at Monday 5:00pm is given by , where y is the total number of students infected after t hours, and α is obtained by the solution of It’s now 16 hours since the first student first came to school. How many students are infected now (correct to the nearest whole student)? Given that announcements are scheduled at the beginning of every hour (e.g. 10:00am, 11:00am etc.), and that according to the Education Ministry’s guideline, the school principal will need to make an announcement to close the school at the hour in which the number of infected students is expected to cross the 45% mark. What time should the principal schedule his announcement? Unfortunately, the school principal had returned all his math knowledge to his teacher (shame on you!). Hence in order to solve the above problem, he had to rely on his Mathematics HOD, who promptly stood up and said … OINK! As part of your AMaths Exponential & Logarithmic Functions chapter, you are almost certain to see in your O-Level exam a question (or part of a question) concerning the application of an exponential or logarithmic function on some scary-looking real-life situations that may involve the likes of a exploding/shrinking population, multiplying bacteria, decaying radioactive substances, cooling temperatures etc. While the calculation part is usually pretty straightforward i.e. sub the relevant values into the given formula and use what’s stated in Sergeant Loi’s Logarithm Training Program and ln/lg both sides etc., it’s vital that you read the question carefully before submitting your final answer. Facebook Is Now Available At Jφss Sticks Sessions No, Celine Loi doesn’t like this! THAT THING Is Finally Back! “Eh, have you been approached by customers regarding THAT THING yet?” “Of course lah! Today alone already got three asked me about THAT THING!” “Yalor … I walk back and forth bringing customers to the area of THAT THING until sianz already …” … and that’s what Miss Loi managed to eavesdrop of the conversation within the group of ah lian salesgirls while hunting for a book on hairstyling tips in a major bookstall. With a sudden realization, she rushed quickly to the area of THAT THING, to find a couple of people looking suspiciously like tutors already trying to make a clean sweep of the stacks. And so to those of you who have been emailing/calling/SMS-ing all the “Miss Loi do you sell the Ten-Year Series?”, “Miss Loi do you have copies of past O-Level exam papers?”, “Miss Loi, can download all the Ten-Year Series from your website???” messages, let it be know that after a contract wrangle of Cristiano Ronaldo proportions, the new Ten-Year Series are finally back on the shelves (apparently even before July has started). (L-R) Hairstyling Tips Book, 1999-2008 E-Maths Ten-Year Series,1999-2008 A-Maths Ten-Year Series So if you’re one of the many who’ve been waiting an age for them, go grab them now before people like Miss Loi (who look suspiciously like tutors) sweep them clean. And please, please practice them if you haven’t yet done so (don’t keep them as souvenirs!). Most importantly, they contain all the QUESTIONS of the suggested solutions to the 2008 O/A-Level October/November papers on the top-left of this website! MUGGERS REJOICE! The Little Tutor: Wind of Change Photo taken just after ponytailswere snipped There she goes … there she goes again … As mentioned previously, time and time again like the famous tune at the time, she blazed through all tests, exams, and even an art competition like a teenage riot. So much so that she made it deep into Upper Quartile territory in a National Examination’s Cumulative Frequency Curve, and (with a huge sigh of relieve) she gladly gave up her hideous green/yellow combo for the pure angelic Championship White uniform of her next school - but had to pay a tragic price when draconian school rules decreed that her twin 发娇 ponytails must go. Thus it was a period of change. A time when the squabbling Ahmad, John & Gopal were replaced by the cryptic x’s & y’s in Algebra, and when English compositions moved beyond “My Family” and their stereotypical outings to the beach. A time when she grew tall enough to join the school’s basketball team (though her skills belonged to another story). A time when some semblance of a voice finally came from her mouth when the national anthem was played. A time when new friends were made. Friends with Mandarin accent that didn’t sound so weird anymore. Friends whom she would regularly hang out with at McDonald’s. Friends who had bought her her very first birthday presents on the second-last day of June. It was a period of change. It was the time when the Berlin Wall fell. A time when the quarrels back home grew louder and more frequent, and when the magical increase of her POSB account balance became less and less frequent. To be continued … The Little Tutor: Princessa Those were the 发娇 days … previously … Perhaps it was the breakfast she ate that morning. Perhaps the principal was in a charitable mood that day. Or perhaps it was just pure luck. Those little pre-Heuristics & pre-Foundation era questions were no match for her paganistic non-MOE approved mathematical powers, filling the common room with a blinding spell of light as she blazed through the math paper of the Entrance Exam, sending wide-eyed teachers fleeing in all directions. (Alright the last part didn’t quite happen) With that, the gates opened up for her grand entry (with twin 发娇 ponytails flailing in the wind - God of Gamblers slow-mo style), to take her first steps into a brand-new world … A world where uniforms were different for different schools, where classmates spoke Mandarin with a strange accent, and where she lip-synced to an alien national anthem each morning. A world where her by-now-MOE-approved mathematical powers would allow her to no-need-to-study-but-still-can-pwn all exams, tests, and all lame problem sums involving Ahmad, Bala, Gopal and John (who always seemed to have money issues amongst themselves). A world where she could spin in excess of 100 rpm’s (correct to 3 sig. fig.) worth of ‘sallies‘ in Zero Point, and where classmates watched in awe as she predicted with deadly accuracy the trajectory of every Five Stones sack. In a time when songs like that “Lucky, Lucky, Lucky Song“, “You Bad, My Bad Song” (r.i.p.) etc., that *”Rumour Song“, and that “Enter/Exit Song” dominated the airwaves, beng-ish discos (before they were known as clubs), and the Mini-Compos at the beaches respectively. In a time when her interest in TV dramas started (coz she had too much free time in her hands), and she would made sure she reached her rented home in time to catch a local show involving a Teacher who kept uttering “Ai-Yo-Yo!“. In a time when Dad was just a distant figure who magically increased her POSB account balance by $30 every month. In an age when she lived like a princess without a care in the world, save for the occasion pimple outbreak. Welcome to school, Miss Loi! To be continued … *Things haven’t really changed much (music-wise), have they? Biological Warfare At The Temple Gates “Mitigation” Phase UPDATE: As we’re reportedly now in the last leg of the great H1N1 fight (even though Singapore should have well beyond 1000 cases by now), it’s time to remove the irrelevant list of affected countries from the notice. In these dangerous times when an unseen enemy threatens to extend everyone’s June holidays, the grave-looking Biological Specialist of The Temple has issued the following urgent announcement (especially for those of you returning from your tour to some exotic location or have been partying illegally in some club disguised as a dairy product manfacturer etc.): In addition, all visitors/students at The Temple are advised to adhere to good personal & environmental hygiene practices (which you should have been doing all along anyway) i.e. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before & after class Avoid physical contact (e.g. hugging one another emotionally after solving a difficult problem) whenever possible Look away and cover your nose & mouth with a tissue whenever you cough or sneeze Refrain from disgusting acts like leaving used tissues on the table, wiping your germ-infected hands on books/chairs/eyes/mouths/nose/anything/anyone you can (literally) lay your dirty hands on … ewwwww … We seek your kind cooperation for the sake of everyone’s well-being, and to preempt the possibility of The Temple having to re-locate to some far-flung resort where, as Miss Loi was told, there’s no Starhub Cable TV which means that she will miss at least a week’s worth of the Channel 55/255 娱家戏剧台 VV dramas! DOWN WITH H1N1! Will we see the same unbridled joy likethose on the faces of these Hong Kong students? P.S. Speaking of extending the school holidays, after being questioned an umpteenth time by her students on whether she has any “insider info” on this matter, Miss Loi actually went to ask a teacher friend of hers … Miss Loi: “Eh cher, do you know if the June holidays will be extended? Shouldn’t they have announced it by now if it’s true?” Mean Teacher Friend: “Aiyoh Miss Loi, please use your BRAIN lah! I thought you very smart one?” Biological Warfare At The Temple Gates “Mitigation” Phase UPDATE: As we’re reportedly now in the last leg of the great H1N1 fight (even though Singapore should have well beyond 1000 cases by now), it’s time to remove the irrelevant list of affected countries from the notice. In these dangerous times when an unseen enemy threatens to extend everyone’s June holidays, the grave-looking Biological Specialist of The Temple has issued the following urgent announcement (especially for those of you returning from your tour to some exotic location or have been partying illegally in some club disguised as a dairy product manfacturer etc.): In addition, all visitors/students at The Temple are advised to adhere to good personal & environmental hygiene practices (which you should have been doing all along anyway) i.e. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before & after class Avoid physical contact (e.g. hugging one another emotionally after solving a difficult problem) whenever possible Look away and cover your nose & mouth with a tissue whenever you cough or sneeze Refrain from disgusting acts like leaving used tissues on the table, wiping your germ-infected hands on books/chairs/eyes/mouths/nose/anything/anyone you can (literally) lay your dirty hands on … ewwwww … We seek your kind cooperation for the sake of everyone’s well-being, and to preempt the possibility of The Temple having to re-locate to some far-flung resort where, as Miss Loi was told, there’s no Starhub Cable TV which means that she will miss at least a week’s worth of the Channel 55/255 娱家戏剧台 VV dramas! DOWN WITH H1N1! Will we see the same unbridled joy likethose on the faces of these Hong Kong students? P.S. Speaking of extending the school holidays, after being questioned an umpteenth time by her students on whether she has any “insider info” on this matter, Miss Loi actually went to ask a teacher friend of hers … Miss Loi: “Eh cher, do you know if the June holidays will be extended? Shouldn’t they have announced it by now if it’s true?” Mean Teacher Friend: “Aiyoh Miss Loi, please use your BRAIN lah! I thought you very smart one?” Going Away … Unfortunately, the ongoing period drama The Little Tutor has to be interrupted as Miss Loi needs to rush to Hong Kong due to a family emergency. She’s probably somewhere over the South China Sea by the time you read this. Miss Loi will be back on Saturday (20 June). Till then please contact her via email at for all enquiries, and she seeks your kind understanding if she’s unable to reply you during the next two days. Don’t think there’ll be any mood for shopping this time P.S. All of Miss Loi’s classes from Thursday to Friday (18-19 June) have been postponed and all affected students (should) have been notified. Rest of the classes at The Temple (incl. Mr Loi’s & Little Miss Loi’s) are not affected and will proceed as normal. The Little Tutor: Preparations … previously … A new heavy-metal song called “Oh Sweet Charles, Oh My” (at least that’s what she made of it) blared from the hastily-tuned radio station in the car stereo, after Dad had finally grown sick of listening to his Teresa Teng cassette tape for the past hours. By now, the rows of trees had turned into endless ranks of towering, faceless buildings, stretching away to the horizon like silent sentinels of the land. The narrow highway had widened into an immaculately paved Expressway on which her car sped along into the heart of her destination, as she marveled at how shiny the cars around her were (in contrast to the one she was in). It was almost evening by the time they reached their randomly-chosen hotel, and after a quick meal, they retired to their room. 你今晚早D休息啦。話唔定聽日你要去考試。 Sleep early tonight. You may need to sit for an exam tomorrow. And tucked in she did, but not before catching a glimpse of Dad flipping through a thick yellow phone directory and making a flurry of last-minute phone calls (LMBFH-style) to various schools, housing agents etc. etc. For in those days with no Internet, with no mobile phones, but with sky-high IDD rates and a whole lot of clueless people, it can be rather difficult to plan things in advance. And with no knowledge of the huge collection of assessment books at Bras Basah Complex, Miss Loi couldn’t have been more adequately prepared for what may very well be the most important exam yet in her little life. To be continued … The Little Tutor: Prelude She said she wanna follow your footsteps and become a tutor - can shop & shop and no office politics! The student’s parent’s SMS arrived while Miss Loi was doing some housekeeping of her email inbox, when she chanced upon one of a number of old emails along the lines of … Hi Miss Loi, I am toying with the idea of private tuition. I wish to seek your advise as to how did you start out as a private tutor? What steps did you take to become so successful? I am a Math tutor myself … That brought a moment of reflection, as she slowly looked up from her 56.com & MySoju-cluttered laptop screen to stare out of her window into the night, where faint constellations in the sky slowly gave way to a scene from the years gone by … . . . … a phantasmagoric scene of endless rows of trees repeated itself like the rapidly flipping pages of a book, as she looked out with dreary eyes from the dusty window at the back of the car, with the lingering taste of that last meal of Bak Kut Teh still fresh in the mouth. 你睡多一陣啦。再多幾個鐘頭就到啦。 ENGLISH SUBTITLES: You go catch some sleep. We’ll be there in a few hours. said Dad as his latest dare-devil attempt to overtake the stubborn truck ahead failed in the face of oncoming traffic in the narrow pothole-ridden two-lane ‘highway’. So she closed her eyes again, and subsequently lost count of the number of times she drifted in and out of sleep, haunted by vivid scenes from the previous toilet break that resembled some grand WWII naval battle, awaking each time to be greeted by the same shuttering sequence of trees, the same endless bumpy highway, with the same stubborn truck still ahead. To be continued … The Temple Gates Are Ajar The Loot Manic May has come and gone. The 2009 exam papers have been launched. Miss Loi’s annual shopping is done (and consequently missing the entire run of 书包太重). And the evil Crouching Terrorist has finally been caught, clearing the Causeway of the jams that have so often plagued Miss Loi’s JB hair salon appointments in the past year. More importantly though, the Mids are over, and cartoon characters have begun appearing in places like United Square to bluff children, as hordes of families plan to invade our neighbouring country and cause fresh Causeway jams that will make Miss Loi late for her JB hair salon appointments again. Many thanks for your coaching. Scored 86 marks for her maths paper! Of the Mids, news of little ‘miracles’ concerning groups of supposedly-’weak’ students (some previously from the Normal Stream and all that jazz etc.) have reached The Temple at this half-way point. Hi Ms Loi, I would like to express my gratitude to you for helping her score 81 for Maths. But Miss Loi doesn’t really see them as miracles though, as unbeknown to them, they all possess the same simple traits in their DNA, i.e. they’ve all been hardworking and willing to listen in class, and most importantly, they constantly did their correction and made sure they 100% confirm chop stamp understand their own mistakes in each problem before moving on to the next. Math was her lowest subject in term 1, but highest in term 2. From 49 to 78! Conversely though, the Mids have also traditionally throw up instances of bad miracles, when flocks of birds took flight from nearby trees, and glasses of water dropped to the floor from trembling hands, and the Sun got suddenly eclipsed as the world mourned in utter disbelief in dark moments when charming straight-As students found themselves impossibly plunged into unfamiliar EPIC FAIL territory. But Miss Loi doesn’t find these cases surprising either, for unbeknown to them, their elite DNA has mostly mutated overtime to exhibit one or more of the following traits i.e. COMPLACENT Go through motion; “OK lah! Can one lah! I understand!”; Only do ‘a bit of work’ in class; Drawing stupid pictures of Miss Loi in class (see below) LAZY Lazy to re-do questions on their own after tutor/teacher’s explanation; Never bother to practice again those questions where mistakes have been made EXCUSES “I’m very busy! I have a lot of tests! I have no time for homework!”; “My Cher never teach properly! Only rushed through that topic!” ESCAPISM Left BLANK or anyhow do those questions that are stuck in - and continue to be left BLANK till end of time; Continue to focus only in strong topics - stubborn refusal to focus on poor topics; Thought the MORE you do the BETTER grades you’ll get - but never really understood why you couldn’t do certain questions POOR FOUNDATION Whole day studying Sec Three/Four chapters - Sec One/Two topics NEGLECTED KAN CHEONG Panic attack on the day … Don’t worry - the chunk of text above is most certainly NOT required for your exams! Luckily they got the figure right (sort of),or else … In any case, now that Joyous June is here to bring a false dawn of sunshine after the Mids (with the sinister O-Levels less than 5 months away (with prelims even earlier)), and that Miss Loi has finally had enough of shopping (for now), she has decided to valiantly offering her time body and soul in flexible daily slots for her 2009 June Holiday Revision Jφss Sticks Sessions from 2 to 28 June - to right all the wrongs, to kill all your “My Cher never teach properly!!!” excuses, to correct all the −5 − 5 = 0s, and to vaccinate all mutated DNAs before the dreaded LMBFH Syndrome sets in: Miss Loi’s June Holiday Revision Jφss Sticks Sessions (2-28 June 2009) Lesson Times:   Mondays-Fridays 10.00am-12.00pm 12.30-2.30pm 3.00-5.00pm 5.00-7.00pm Saturdays 10.00am-12.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students) 12.30-2.30pm (Sec 1/2) FULL (blocked for existing students) 3.00-5.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students) 5.00-7.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students) Sundays 10.00am-12.00pm (Sec 1/2) FULL (blocked for existing students) 12.30-2.30pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students) 3.00-5.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students) 5.00-7.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students) Venue: Miss Loi’s Temple Class Size: Exclusive to 6-8 students/class Duration/Session: 2 hours Included: Drinks and light snacks Miss Loi’s fabled Exam Papers + elusive Ten-Year Series questions School uniform is optional (but still must wear something okay!) More details on the updated Schedule Page … As usual, these revision tuition sessions will cater to those of you who’re looking to revise, firm up your foundation, catch-up with your peers, start from scratch, know more girls etc. during this June Holiday. To ensure that every single participant will receive Miss Loi’s maximum tender loving care, each session is limited to a maximum of eight students. So please contact Miss Loi now to assure yourself of an intense “赵赴汤蹈火” salvational experience this June, but please note that these extra slots are for the June holidays ONLY, and that new students attending these sessions may NOT be guaranteed places in her regularly weekly sessions when Semester II resumes. *Cracks knuckles* The Ikebukuro Incident (池袋事件) ONCE AGAIN, the schedule could have been kinder. For if it was, Miss Loi wouldn’t have to catch another flight departing in an ungodly hour - a flight that made her sleep throughout like there was no tomorrow, causing her to miss out on all the in-flight luxuries like “Coffee or tea?”, “Would you like seafood or chicken?”, “Hot towel? Hot towel?” etc. Ninjas, H1N1 Clan When she arrived at her destination, she proceeded to ‘ninja-fy‘ herself with a mask smuggled provided courtesy of Little Miss Loi. Thereafter she suddenly felt a severe bout of thirst, as all those missed “coffee or tea?” began to take its toll. Thus she rushed towards the nearest oasis of a vending machine, to buy and GULP down an entire bottle of unknown pastel-coloured liquid, and took along another bottle for the subsequent hour-long train journey. Lovely scenes of Spring flashed before her eyes as the train made its way to town, with Miss Loi constantly taking sips of her drink as she stared at the passing scenes in a dreamy manner. When she finally stepped out of the train station, she realized that she appeared to be the only one wearing a mask in town … Bochup? More critically, however, she realized that her bottle of drink had been sipped dry, and that’s when she also realized that she had grossly miscalculated the holding volume of her … umm … bladder. With nary a toilet in sight, things got a bit desperate. She knew she had to get to the guesthouse fast - the only place she’s certain a toilet exists - before the floodgates opened. And thus began the longest catwalk the streets of Tokyo have ever witnessed, as Miss Loi sashayed her way like a geisha past rows and rows of teeny jewelry stalls … Maintaining the agonizing poise of walking as fast as possible while keeping her steps as small as possible to ensure a ZERO rate of change of the liquid level in her … umm … overflowing bladder, she found herself stared at by this weirdo aunty … Slowly but surely though, her frantic geisha steps finally brought her to the guesthouse, where she wasted no time in throwing her still-5 kg luggage into her miniscule room, and rushed into the grateful toilet (just when things started to get a little ‘leaky’) to burst open the floodgates put an end to the ordeal … The End 劇終 SHOPPING STARTS NOW! Miss Loi is currently on her annual hiatus in Japan from 23-27 May. For enquiries, please SMS or email missloi [at] exampaper [dot] com [dot] sg during this period and she will try to get back to you as soon as she can. Apologies in advance for any inconvenience caused and she seeks your kind understanding if she’s a little slow in replying during this period. By: Miss Loi Shhh! By: Joey New room with complimentary sliding door! By: cy the sofa gone liao. :0 By: Someone Haha, I thought you were refering to the exponential graph, which is because you wrote in your picture; an exponential graph can be By: Miss Loi Oh yes thanks for pointing out the typo, Someone. Actually Miss Loi meant it to be a more general form of: y = a−x, a > 1 as it’s worth noting that in most literature (incl. our current EMaths textbook) an exponential curve need not strictly be ex but can also taken to be, for e.g., 2x, 5x etc. These are the little cut-and-paste typos that Miss Loi is capable of making during blogging when she’s still hopping mad By: Someone I think you meant as opposed to ? By: Miss Loi *Denial Mode ON* Can’t be! Tutors are one of the most honourable, gentle, harmless, and cuddly creatures you’ll ever come across! By: DC Could it be the work of a rival tutor?