tomorrow is always too late I’m not a huge one for inspirational quotes, but this one from Bill Drummond is resonating with me at the moment. I heard it on Final Word [MP3 link] from the Kleptones – Uptime. If you want to do something… REALLY want to do something… Don’t wait to be asked! Don’t seek permission! Don’t put off until you’ve passed the right exams, or paid or saved up enough money! But be prepared to risk complete failure. Don’t give a shit about whatever your mates, or girlfriend or your boyfriend says. Whatever it is, start NOW, TODAY. Tomorrow is always too late. - Bill Drummond – formerly of the KLF I will set up that foot tanner business! a few things Not got much to say at the moment. Still not got my vibe back. Few things going on. FMPMSPD is still great though, here’s a usual good morning message: Good morning … Lazybigass still in bed . . how’s Mr Cock today? . . . .:-) So romantic. Anyway, here are a few pics. Spotted in Little Manila (Worldwide House): Spotted in Central: Went to see Green Day: James May wearing a Keep Calm And Carry On t-shirt: From Twitter somewhere, sorry – I can’t remember who now, melon flavoured Kit Kat: Other flavours include: Maple syrup, melon, vanilla bean, grape, apple, banana, caramel, kiwifruit, azuki, green tea, yuzu and cherry blossom From TheDarkSideHK – careful when choosing the seat for your bike: the globe Quick one to let you know The Globe have got their liquor licence at last. They do great pies. New address: Garley Building, 45-53 Graham Street, Central last exit to nowhere Just went a little mental on this movie T-shirt site. Can you guess the movies? Not too difficult… it really is like hoth out there Check out the UK: [via NASA/GSFC, MODIS Rapid Response] And Korea: [via NASA] it’s like hoth out there Having a bit of fun with Star Wars Weather. Hong Kong: Manchester, UK: Try no city at all …. christmas photos Kinda. Some of FMPMSPD at my place. Slightly NSFW. Great angles: New skirt Bit short round the back Drying hair Hello there you two getting the joke Merry Christmas all. Hope you’ve all had a good one so far. I’ve had a few blog posts in my head lately but FMPMSPD has been here for the last week so I’ve not had any time. Some were inspired by the whacky dreams I’ve been having. Multiple times. I should have made notes. One was a bunch of deep (for me) thoughts about culture, language and humour and the intricacies of a joke. What the audience needs to know to be able to get the joke. If I may indulge myself for a moment and be introspective (as I have been lately – looking for my passion) – for me, making people laugh is a big part of me, or at least attempting a bit of humour. Not really cracking jokes – if you asked me to tell a joke, I’d have about three – “Ask me if I’m an orange…”, “What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?” … so, make that only two. Oh, I could reel off a load of Tommy Cooper gags. [BTW - the peanut butter/jam joke is one of the filthiest jokes. I, er, pretended it was the joke in my cracker on Christmas Day. Rule One: Know your audience - don't tell that joke in front of a mate's girlfriend who you've only met once!] Anyway, not really jokes, more stories, wise-cracks, lines, things I can use in certain situations, well-timed lines stolen from others reapplied to the current situation. An example: I saved this photo for 3 months, waiting for the perfect moment, waiting for one of my friends to say something to tee it up: 3 months! My mum told me that I would laugh my way into a girl’s heart faster than impressing her and who would you rather spend your life with – a dull super hot girl or someone who made you laugh every day? My mum’s tips are legendary – “Never run after a man or a bus” for example. “Never take the girlie bar superstar”, “You’ll be fine after six [pints]” (I may have made the last two up). Annnnnnnyway, before I go too deep and give too much away … I like to have laughter around me. I guess all these thoughts were driven by having FMPMSPD here and that most of my jokes went over her head. “I want to Google all over your Facebook.” All the ingredients right? Topical tech and social media, wordplay and sexual innuendo! Got nothing. I admit, it’s not that funny and was badly timed. Trying to get to the point … FMPMSPD is in no way stupid, in fact I love her mind and the way she thinks. Spike called her my Karl Pilkington. Some of my friends want me to make podcasts of her. She can be so innocent and child-like sometimes. A blank canvas. Then so profound, intuitive and prescient other times. So the issue I’m verbosely trying to explain is not down to intelligence, more likely it’s language, experience and knowledge. She was only educated to the age of 16 and never properly learned English. She’s picked it all up. Along with Cantonese, Javanese, Bahasa and Arabic. I just can’t imagine the linguistic connections in her brain. Listening to her talking on the phone to her other Indonesian friends here in HK – they switch between Bahasa, Cantonese and English. I’d say her order of competency is: Javanese, Bahasa, Cantonese, English, Arabic. She speaks very fast in all languages, including English, and you have to get tuned into it. I have obviously, but not my friends, so I sometimes see blank looks on their faces and I have to repeat what she said. Just sometimes, it’s not inhibitive. What is my point? “Chibba chabba” FMPMSPD would say. Meaning “Jibber jabber”. My point is that she doesn’t get all my jokes. Or I have to explain. Yeah, yeah, I am the best: To be honest I think you’re mad to let me and Finchy on the bleedin’ telly. We’re like Morecambe and Wise when we’re together. No, not Morecambe and Wise, because there’s no straight man, there’s no dead wood. I’m more sort of character based, and he’s more of a gag man. I do gags as well. But we’re good together, by now. We sort of read each other’s minds – we’ll be doing a bit of schtick and we’ll just start cracking up, and people watching will go ‘Why’s that funny?’ and we tell them why and they go ‘Oh yeah, yeah, you are the best.’ It’s their opinion. — from The Office Series 1, Episode 3 I can make her laugh, but it’s impressions, silly words, funny voices etc. Not jokes. This is kinda getting to me. So all this got me thinking about what makes a joke. What makes people get it? Remember Private Dancer Doris? [Oh, more on her later ....] One of the things about her that completely blew my mind was how she got all my jokes. Not only got them, but sometimes added to them. I couldn’t figure out how she got them. Then over time I realised her English was phenomenal and we had both been exposed to American TV and movies. All of this utter amateur thinking led me to: You need language, cultural understanding and shared experiences to get a joke. And dag gummit … I had a joke in my head broken down and analysed, noting the words you needed to know and the shared knowledge/experiences, but it’s slipped my mind! Dag gummit!! [I'm sure it will come to me later - will update this post if it does - anyway, I hope you get what I'm trying to say] FMPMSPD and I are poles apart when it comes to knowledge, experiences and culture. I’m trying to figure out if this lack of shared humour really should be such a big deal to me. [End Jibber Jabber] merry mixmas 2009 DJ Riko has released Merry Mixmas 2009: Snoop Doggy Dogg – Christmas intro The Neighborhood Kids – Christmas is for Everyone The Gifted Children – Jingle Bells Ruth White – Activity Songs for Christmas Vince Guaraldi – Skating Weezer – We Wish You a Merry Christmas Adam Faith – Lonely Pup (in a Christmas Shop) Lady GaGa – Christmas Tree Stompin’ Tom Connors – Jingle Jangle Aeroplane The Royal Guardsmen – It Kinda Looks Like Christmas OK Go – Father Christmas The Kinks – Father Christmas Harvey Averne Band – Let’s Get it Together This Christmas Guster – Donde Esta Santa Claus? Honky Tonk Confidential – Christmas Prison Ra John and the Rubba Dub Dub Band – The Christmas Calypso Bob Dylan – Must Be Santa Sufjan Stevens – It Came Upon a Midnight Clear Rhys O’brien – Christmas Morning Nat King Cole – The Happiest Christmas Tree The Granville Williams Orchestra – Santa Claus is Ska-ing to Town Whaley Boys – O, Tannenbaum Tony Sacco – Jolly Fat Man Fast Food Rockers – Festive Food Song Funk Machine – Soul Santa Alma Cogan – Never do a Tango With an Eskimo Gentleman Auction House – On the Rooftops Nullsleep – Silent Night The Hot Rods – Christmas in Hawaii Bobby Sherman – Goin’ Home (Sing a Song of Christmas Cheer) Electric Jungle – Funky Funky Christmas Eydie Gorme y Los Panchos – Navidad y Ano Nuevo The Joe Gibbs Family – Winter Wonderland The Black on White Affair – Auld Lang Syne so christmassy The mull is made (thanks to G): Die Hard is ready: Ho-ho-ho: Just one item left on my To Do List: Oh, also need to play the Immigration Lottery with FMPMSPD. See if we can get her into HK for a couple of weeks. neuroeconomist? Some good advice on shopping, but did you know there was such a thing as a neuroeconomist? Take, for example, an experiment conducted by Stanford neuroeconomist Baba Shiv. Shiv had a group of people solve word puzzles after having them purchase the energy drink SoBe Adrenaline Rush (which claims on its package to improve mental acuity). But there was a catch: Some people bought the drink at full price, and some bought it at a discount. Despite the fact that the drink was the same with or without the discount, the people who got the discount version solved about 30% fewer puzzles. What’s particularly interesting about the Shiv result is that people not only thought the discount SoBe was worse, they actually derived less benefit from it. The brain wants what it wants. And, often, what it wants is to waste your money. tranquility base I love the Lunar Reconnaisance Orbiter photos. You can see the footprints of the astronauts and the footpads of the lander. More Apollo 11 photos. leaving bali [iPhone 3GS] holiday cheer No cheer from my new boss. I told him that my team would be leaving early for the Winter Solstice. He groaned, pulled a face and grudgingly agreed. Top boss. He’s one of the reasons for my lack of vibe at the moment. Work takes up over half my waking hours and at the moment I’m trying to figure out the point. I want to be on a little moped scooting around the winding roads of Bali with FMPMSPD’s arms wrapped around my waist. How do I get a job doing that? back to the moon FMPMSPD: Do you believe that will happen? In 2012 we all gonna be dead? . . .:-( Me: No. Total rubbish. FMPMSPD: Me too but I believe one day it will end this world and we will go back to the moon Me: What? Back to the moon? You think we came from the moon? FMPMSPD: No but I [...] it’s a santa suit From the other week… FMPMSPD: Do you like my new pajamas? Just $35 from the market. Me: It’s a Santa suit. FMPMSPD: Feels Christmassy right?. Me: Because it’s a Santa suit. See: She got a new one. Better effort I think: test from iPhone Testing bali Back in October FMPMSPD and I took a lovely trip to Bali for a week. I still have to sort out the 1500 photos I took, but here are a couple. [Click for the full size versions] I love this first one: I hope to get round to sorting the rest out soon. A couple, more fruity, [potentially [...] tiger hunt Heh. Tiger Hunt from Ulaca. jupiter’s travels One man, one motorbike, one planet. Just arrived: Maybe not so inspiring: jet-fresh The McDonald’s Mega EBI Burger in Hong Kong: Shrimp. In a burger. Not keen. the wheel There’s a good pub quiz at The Wheel on a Tuesday night. And one of the guys from Hardy’s plays the guitar. You can get up and have a sing. Our team of 2 and a half people won a bottle of gin: However, feeling very, very average today. Loud Dropkick Murphys required. dag gummit I am in tears. The best bloopers ever still here For some reason I can’t switch off safe search on Google. “Boob” is considered unsafe: Anyway, do a YouTube search for Family Guy side boob and you’ll find a video that I would have linked to. “How about this shhhhhhide boob?” Why do I mention this? Well, I’ve been dark for a few months. One of the reasons [...] keep calm and carry on Love it. upgrade About to upgrade this site. It might look rubbish! UPDATE: Nope, it all went very smoothly! qingdao beer fest Whelk anyone? netvigator problems Problems. Sounds like rubbish to me: Due to the recent severe weather conditions in the Asia region, there have been multiple submarine cable faults which are affecting different forms of international traffic throughout Asia and the US. Some customers may experience traffic congestions when trying to connect to these areas. Our systems are in normal operation and [...] management “Have you seen that email?” “When was it sent?” “About 10 seconds ago.” That’s the kind of boss I have now. Not for me. Not for me. Wed, 12 Aug 2009 10:53:08 +0000 A new, live, Kleptones mix. Vid here.