Replying notes i think i have written about the above topic somewhere in my blog but i can't be bothered to look for it.but essentially... to answer the note from Emz...does it matter that we "we were just plopped onto earth to merely exist for a few paltry years before dying and never ever existing again"? does that fact make our life meaningless? purposeless?i don't see why it does. so what even if i were just to exist for a few paltry years? my life matters to those around me. my mother will probably die within the next a couple of decades. that will put her lifespan at 80 years. yes that might be paltry. but she has led a purposeful and meaningful life. i can attest to that. similarly, when i expire, i would have, i hope, touched some people, impacted some lives, created something, left some legacies.so perhaps life deson't have an absolute meaning. but our interations, our relationship with one another, the intricate web of interdependencies that we weave as we journey through these few paltry years in life creates meaning for that journey relative to one another.one of the issues that i might have with the afterlife is its implications on our motivations. if i believe in an afterlife and therefore strive to do good so that i can have an eternal time in heaven, then i am driven to do good not because i believe it is good, but because i am effectively selfish and egotistical. doesn't that make me no more than a dog, acting only to be rewarded?further, without the afterlife, without having a pre-defined standard of judgement of the meaning/purpose foisted upon me, i am then free to create whatever purpose/meaning of my life. that freedom is what makes me human.Cheng... i don't think he/she/it can be classified as an executive trannny (a la Eddie Izzard). but a battalion of those as paratroopers, heli-inserted deep behind enemy lines would most certainly win any war.the enemies will die from a) shock, b) utterly grossed out, c) laughing to death. Death and Orchard Road (not related...) strange that emz brought it up. i've been thinking about death a lot these days: the moment just before you are about to die, the moment you die, and what's it like after you are dead. and my conclusion is... no... i don't believe in life after death.the reason why i've been thinking about death is because i've started reading Garth Nix's "The Old Kingdom" trilogy. and death features a big part in it.well... on a lighter note... was walking down Orchard Road just now. i've not been there for quite a while. it has changed a fair bit. not unrecognizable, but definitely different. Cats in the Cradle was playing at Indochine, Wisma. and passers-by like me who are too cheapskate to go in and get a drink at hyper-inflated prices (this happened even before the recent spate of inflation... pretty prescient of them, eh?) could just stand and watch. and sure enough, there was a huge crowd watching. though some of them were as likely to be watching the band as they were watching this Tranny. not that being a Tranny automatically draws attention. but this Tranny must have thought it was Wednesday and she/he/it was in Zouk. cos she/he/it was unleashing this entire repertoire of grossly mutilated mambo moves and hooting what she/he/it must have thought to be complimentary but to the rest of us sounded like a banshee cry.yeesh.and i think the Tranny made me think really weird things. like when i saw Miss Selfridge, i suddenly thought... why sell fridge? why not toasters? or ovens? or better yet, toaster ovens? washing machines do well too! why selfridge?and if there's a Daniel Yam, perhaps we should have a Richard Potato. or William Tapoica.hey wait... i thought of all these before encountering the Tranny...erm.... Just a thought time, per se, stretches on into eternity and is thus infinite, yet we never seem to have enough of.but it is meaningless to talk about time per se. while there may be an infinite amount of time, we are miniscule vessels which can only hold so little of it such that we never have enough of it to use for our purposes. our lives are like a brief spark of light in the infinite darkness of an eternity before birth and inexhaustible time after death. upon what shall this tiny spark shine? what will this tiny spark illuminate? X-files it was 10 years ago that i watched the first instalment of the X-Files movie. i still remember it quite vividly. i went with 2 friends. one, a girl who had a thing for me, and the other, one of my best friends in school who had a thing for that girl. i still remember how our little triangle seemed to matter the entire world to us then. how our troubles and problems then seem so trivial in retrospect.i lost contact with the girl. i still meet up with the guy. he's a father now. while me... well... i was considerably more naive, idealistic and innocent then. now... i think i am a little more grounded in reality, perspectives tinged by darker shades, perhaps slightly more cynical. i have seen more darkness in the last 10 years than i did in the first 18 of my life. how quickly time leaves its mark on us! Cliffhanger Red Cliff ended on a cliffhanger of sorts. and rather abruptly. i think it paid way too much attention to details. despite that... it was an alright show. wouldn't mind watching how John Woo ends it.one thought though... despite having all the supposed best generals (the famed Five Tiger Generals) and one of the most celebrated tactician in Chinese history, Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei still lost. in fact... so did Cao Cao nor Sun Quan or their descendents.i think this proves that heroes do not gaurantee victory, genius does not gaurantee triumph. any army or organisation, country or society that depends entirely on a select group of exceptional people will inevitably fail in the long run. and that's why dynasties inevitably fail. because statistically, a family's luck will run out sooner or later and you will have an idiot rising to power.so what's the solution to this problem of creating a sustainable society with a stable political landscape? i don't know. i'm still thinking about it... Red Dragonfly i know the fashion sense, hair style, etc in the video is hideous by today's standards and the song seems an anachronism in today's age of hip hop and rap. but something today triggered a sliver of memory which teased out the chorus of this song from the labyrinth of my mind. i used to love this song. it appealed to a certain naive idealism that i had then. and thinking about this song made me realise that i've lost quite a lot of that along the years. sigh. there are a lot more things that i had wanted to write. but i shall leave things here first. i'm sure i'll get back to it soon enough. Long Story Short went to watch Hellboy II: The Golden Army... was disappointed. the plot was... illogical. i mean there's a difference between having things which defies physical principles, like... magic, a hot babe spontaneously flaming up and still staying alive, etc etc. but... the story still needs to be logical. things should happen in such a way that you can believe it should follow one another and actually need to happen. but that's not the case for Hellboy II. and here's whyspoiler warning...see... Prince Nuada (the bad guy) and his sister Princess Nuala are linked. you hurt one, you hurt the other. you knock one out, you knock the other. therefore, just when Prince Nuada is about to kill the good King, the Princess could have just given herself a tranquilizer jab. or chopped off her own arm. or killed herself, which is what eventually happened. which is the reason why i felt a little cheated. all the big bang boom pow and in the end, the little lass just goes and stabs herself. leaves one wondering... why didn't she just do that in the first place? or anything less drastic but still able to incapacitate her brother. and there's also the part where the Hot (in more ways than one) girl just melted the crown at the end. again, one must wonder why that was not done earlier. it could have prevented soooooo much trouble.ah well... i wonder whether the Dark Knight will live up to all the hype. Economics there have been a few articles in the papers not too long ago about how the market for private tutors (called tuition teachers in this country) is flourishing. many parents are willing to shell out shetloads of dosh to either compensate for their child's lack of intelligence and/or diligence or just to ensure beyond a shadow of a doubt that their child gets an A. this creates an avenue of an alternative source of income for school teachers, who, because of their experience with the syllabus and exams, are in the best position to be private tutors.interestingly, this alternative source of income can be a lot more lucrative than being a teacher. and what a private tutor gets is directly proportional to how hard he/she is willing to work, very much unlike being a school teacher.and of all the subjects, i would say that being a private tutor for economics is most lucrative. you see... as it is, there is already a shortage for economics teachers in the JCs. this is not surprising. considering that most people with an economics degree usually end up in a job in a bank or consultancy firm or marketing or any other place in the private sector. even within the public sector, there is a whole host of jobs where an economics graduate will fit very nicely. so the supply of economics teachers in school is already limited.the demand is not helping the situation either. now with the H1 and H2 system, the number of students taking economics has grown tremendously. further, with the way the Singaporean economy is devoloping, the financial sector seems to be where a big bulk of our JC going kids aspire to be in. so there is a large number of students who want to take econs as an A-level subject.as such, the ratio of econs tutors to students is not favourable. where do the students turn to then? private tutors. as such, private tuition for econs can get pretty expensive. therefore, if i am an econs teacher in a JC, after the 3 year bond there is many incentives for me to quit and be a private tutor instead. firstly, if i were to stay in a school, i take mroe classes than most of my colleagues and probably have as many non-teaching duties. and yet i'm paid the same amount as my other colleagues. why should i accept that? secondly, i would be teaching less students, therefore able to concentrate on them thus better able to help them improve and get better grades.so...what is the motivation for an economics teacher to stay in the system? why would someone be willing to work more than his/her colleagues and be paid the same amount when he/she can teach less and earn more as a private tutor? that person must be a very resilient idealist. he/she must derive his/her reward from something very intangible. it would have to take a very noble (some would say foolish) breed of people.i hope our students and the system appreciates these people and the sacrifices that they are making. Soppiness I heard this song over the radio while driving home just now. it brought back memories of a trip i had last year and made me think about a whole host of other things. sigh. Sex(ism) and the Silly watched Sex and the City.i don't understand what gave Carrie the right to be upset with Big. it was clear that she was being a selfish bitch to want to have such a huge wedding. she buried the sanctity of marriage in a mire of ostentatious pomp. it was no wonder that Big started to have his doubts. if i were him, i would wonder whether she really wanted to marry me or just have a show of marrying me. she brought whatever humiliation she felt upon herself.and then the rest of the show just went on to show how much Carrie suffered. and we are led to sympathise with Carrie. but what about Big? i'm sure he suffered a lot more. through that part (and it was a major part) the dominant thought in my mind was that Carrie is an idiot who deserved every shred of suffering she was going through and has no right to complain nor seek any form of repartriation from Big. in fact, if anything, she should be the one making up to Big.the treatment of Miranda and Steve's problems was a lot more balanced, more real. it is conceivable that the mundane chores of everday life, working, looking after the kids, cooking, cleaning, washing, etc, dull the shine of romance in a marriage. and then both parties say and do something stupid and the marriage is on the rocks. that's when the relationship is tested. that was a lot more real.and then there is the whole thing about all the clothes, shoes, bags. man... that's the reason why there are starving children in Africa. people who splurge precious resources on such frivolous things. perhaps it is because my upbringing makes me anathematically against such wanton consumerism. i mean... if you have enough, stop. the world is dying already. you don't need more of everything. and if you are that rich, buy a few sacks of rice and send it to Africa, Szechuan, anywhere with starving children. or give your money away to some organisation providing education for children or giving vocational training for young adults. eesh... the thought of it is making my skin crawl with disgust. grr... Price of Oil BOng has a number of entries about the skyrocketing price of oil...i think we all saw that coming since a long time ago, but we pretended that it won't happen. i remember when i was in Uni, i thought that the one area of research that Singapore should go into, in a big way, is the production of energy and the efficient use of energy. more so than Life Sciences.and there is so much scope. biofuels (i read now that swamp algae might be a good source of biofuels... damn... shouldn't have reclaimed Jurong!), solar, more efficient extraction of fossil fuels, more efficient ways of refining, hybrid cars (Cheng's Honda Civic Hybrid is quite an example of this technology...) and other methods to improve our energy efficiency, of cars, buildings, anything. and it's not just limited to this. i'm sure that there are other interesting topics in the area of energy production and efficient usage that i don't know about. so it is strange that Singapore isn't pumping as much resources into this area, isn't creating as much hype about our efforts, isn't getting as many people into this field as we did for Life Sciences. KL went up to KL last weekend. bunked in with Cheng. it was a good relaxing trip. ate good food. one particular one that stood out is this mamak called 'Murni'. it's like Al-Ameen of Singapore, only much much better. Murni was the first thing i ate in KL. it was a few years ago, my first visit to KL. i flew there, Cheng picked me up from the airport and en route to his house, we went to Murni for supper. i wasn't impressed by the looks of the place. it looked like eating food from there will give you a serious bout of dysentry. it didn't help that it doesn't have a menu as such. you either know what you want to eat already, or you don't. or you point to what someone else is having and say, 'yar... that one... that's what i'm going to have...' and then you find out that that thing the other person is having is called Roti Special... then you start to wonder what you are eating... but one thing is sure... whatever it is... it is damn good. the thing about Murni is that it has such great potential for expansion... as it is, everytime i've been there, the shop is overflowing with customers, such that they have to sit on the curb, by the road, at least a good hundred, 2 hundred meters away from the actual shop. which made me wonder why Murni has not thought of expanding. is it because it is difficult/detrimental (in any way) to teach more people the recipe to its food (the success of Murni is the food it serves, which are rather out of the ordinary)? see... trouble with the food business is that the secret lies in the recipe, you teach that to someone, thinking that that person will work for you, but what if he/she doesn't? what if after learning the recipe, he/she goes off and sets up shop somewhere else? i do hope, however that someone with the capital can bring Murni to Singapore. the Roti Special,the Claypot Low Xu Fan, the drinks (there's one weird Ribena concotion) are really fantastic. but i don't see that happening soon... ah well...damn... all this talk about food is getting me hungry... grr... Another Genre and as a reflection of my more eclectic taste in music... here's the more soppy thpe of songs that i like... this song also brins back much memories... of my final year in Bristol... sigh... Glorious Years 鐘聲響起歸家的訊號　在他生命裡彷彿帶點唏噓　黑色肌膚給他的意義是一生奉獻　膚色鬥爭中＊年月把擁有變做失去疲倦的雙眼帶著期望＃今天只有殘留的驅殼　迎接光輝歲月風雨中抱緊自由　一生經過徬徨的掙扎自信可改變未來　問誰有能做到可否不分膚色的界限　願這土地裡不分你我高低　繽紛色彩閃出的美麗是因它沒有　分開每種色彩you don't hear many of this type of songs anymore... Beyond... 今天我 寒夜裡看雪飄過 懷著冷卻了的心窩飄遠方 風雨裡追趕 霧裡分不清影蹤 天空海闊 你與我 可會變 (誰沒在變) 多少次 迎著冷眼與嘲笑 從沒有放棄過心中的理想 一剎那恍惚 若有所失的感覺 不知不覺已變淡 心裡愛 (誰明白我) 原諒我這一生不羈放縱愛自由 也會怕有一天會跌倒 背棄了理想 誰人都可以 那會怕有一天只你共我 仍然自由自我 永遠高唱我歌 走遍千里the MTV isn't that impressive. but this is sung by the original singer. the other clip which i have linked to in my previous post is more loaded with emotions though. Heh Heh kudos to jaggedice for finding these two clips... rofl... Skeptism i wonder whether our youths today are ever skeptical. not cynical. i have no doubt that many of our young are indeed cynical. but skeptical? do our youths observe and learn, think and reflect on what they have observed and learnt? do they trudge through the mire of popular sentiments with tools of reason to find nuggets of truth, apply the razor of wisdom to cut to the core of what is right and wrong for themselves, the situation, the time? or do they just expect to be told broad generalisations of what is right and wrong, stereotypes of what should or should not be done?are those abilities the privilege of a select group of 'elites'? should we not expect the majority of our youths to be able to think, not just intelligently, but also wisely? if not, should we not, at least expect those amongst our youths who would aspire to leadership to gather information, analyse, question, think and from that process, synthesize and create? Cowell at his best never judge a book by its cover...love the change of expressions of the 3 of them. especially of Simon Cowell... what he said here is really, i think, him at his best. Emo i got reminded over the weekend of the songs by the hongkong band, Beyond. spent much time listening to their songs over youtube.i was reminded of their songs because one of Beyond's greatest songs,"海闊天空" was given new lyrics as a theme song (of sorts) for the Sichuan earthquake. (the new song is titled "承諾").i used to listen to "海闊天空" and a few other of Beyond's songs a lot (i.e. put on endless repeat) in my first year of uni. hearing that tune again transported me back into that room and revived many many memories along with the corresponding emotions...it didn't help that the video of "承諾" is... sigh... and another related one really gets the emo juices flowing. having said that, the videos can be fairly inspirational too.well... not all that coherent... probably less so than normal. not that i'm very eloquent to begin with anyways... Too stressed out? have sex. according to this website, "Volunteers who had had penetrative intercourse were found to be the least stressed, and their blood pressure returned to normal faster than those who had engaged in other forms of sexual activity such as masturbation."so perhaps one of the reasons why men have such bigger sexual apetite (and thus have a greater propensity to visit prostitutes) is that we, for whatever reasons, get stressed easier/more. Exploiting and exploited Tammy left this note:"I think prostitution is in its own way a form of gender inequality. Sure , you see male prostitutes now and then, but the main bulk of them are females.To me prostitution makes women seem like objects for the sexual pleasure of guys. And ultimately contributes to the gender stereotypes of women being deemed as inferior to men."i agree that prostitution is a form of gender inequality, but not in the favour of men, but in the favour of women.as Tammy rightly pointed out, there are far fewer male prostitutes than there are female ones. this is probably reflective of the greater demand for female prostitutes compared to male prostitutes. as such, this means that it is more viable for women to earn money through prostitution than it is for men. does this not, practically speaking, give women, on the whole, an economic advantage over men?not only that, this additional avenue of economic production is made possible because women are able to exploit men's innate weakness: our lust, our desire for the physical gratification of sexual intercourse. does this not mean that men, not women, are the exploited in the transactions of prostitution? From Rugby Cougars,I know that any words of consolation that I attempt to offer will sound empty and nothing I say will assuage the great pain that you feel. Nor will I cheapen the sacrifices you made in your struggle for the plate by telling you that it was just a game.But I do want apologize and to thank you.I want to apologize for not being around more for you. I also want to apologize for not doing more for you. I wasn't even able to rouse the supporters to cheer for you with more spirit. I'm sorry.I want to thank you for the perserverance, courage and strength that you have shown throughout your journey thus far. I cannot even begin to fathom how tough it must have been to get so far given where you started from. It has inspired me greatly.I also want to thank you for the fun, laughter and even silliness that you have brought me. I will always recall fondly the couple of times we ran together. Thanks for making me feel part of you.Finally, I have two wishes for you.I wish that you would find that your blood, sweat and tears have made you stronger people. I also wish that the friendship and camaraderie amongst you that you have forged through surmounting the many challenges together will keep growing and that even many years later, you will still count on each other as you have done on the pitch.Well... it has been tough coming thus far. I hope that you have found it worthwhile nonetheless. Do continue to strive and do your best in the rest of your endeavours as you have done for rugby.Hopefully there will be a chance to run with you guys again. Philosophical Ruminations from Geylang J1: ooh... look at those creamy lumps of flesh!J2: ya! look at how it jiggles when you hit it!R: we are still talking about durians here right? i mean... come on... we are in Geylang.it was a fruitful (pun intended) trip to Geylang last Saturday. We feasted on yummy food and gorged ourselves silly with delicious durians and Jeremy showed us his ability to polish his seeds till they acquire a shiny sheen... :)we also took a walk to the even lorongs, just for the heck of it, which proved to be an eyeopener for some of the ladies. SH was, as expected, grossed out. and i've been trying to get her to tell me what exactly is wrong, ethically, about prostitution. unlike drug peddling, it doesn't overtly set out to harm people. is it not just a value judgement that we look at prostitutes and say that what they do is to be frowned upon? what is the basis for such aversion, what fuels our disdain?i think it is because monogamy, sexual loyalty to one particular mate has been pivotal in humanity's ability to develop societies and consequently civilisation. and this is a key development that gave human beings, as a species, an evolutionary edge. as such, anything, any behaviour within the species that threatens to buck such a trend is seen as deviant and thus to be strongly discouraged. and thus, as prostitution is a form of sexual disloyalty, disrupts this order which allows for the smooth forming of society, it is seen as something to be objected to.and yet it exists. why? because at our basest, evolution has hardwired into the males of the species to have as much sex, and thus spread our own genes as far as possible. so the case of prostitution is a struggle of that which links us to other animals versus civilisation, it is also a struggle between the individual's desires and the collective well-being of the species. 500!!! there ought to be fanfare, blaring trumpets, thumping drums, symbals clanging, a parade marching through, celebrations all round.but... there isn't. it is just my 500th post. a landmark of no significance whatsoever.:) The Grasshopper inflation is now, more than ever, a very real problem. even the aunty working downstairs know that while the price of everything is going up, wages are not. especially for those who are not highly educated and without a specialised skill.many people then blame the government. saying that, even if the factors leading to the increases in price are beyond the government controls, the government can and should do something to lower the cost of living. but the government will not. this is not a government that will take steps to distort prices.however, what the government will do is to give financial assistance, distribute some wealth. it has done so in the form of growth dividends, GST offset package and even WIS. the government claims that the amount of money that it has given out to the lower income is more than enough to cover the increase in prices. of course, the caveat is that this ang bao can really only cover the increase in prices of basic necessities, not luxury items. and it will only help the lower income if they do not spend it all at once, but rather, save what they have received and use the money to pay for their living expenses. however, someone with a lower income has a higher propensity of spending a windfall within a short period of time, thus leaving him with little to tide him through the rest of the year. so this ang bao from the government won't help him much and he will still have to deal with higher prices on his own income.what can the government do about that? is it the government's fault that people spend what is given to them quickly rather than use that money to offset the increase in prices? i am not saying that what the government has done will solve all our problems. many of our material aspirations will still be dampened because of the rising prices. however, to foist all our problems onto the government is irresponsible. we, ourselves, also have to think of ways to solve our own problems, fulfil our dreams. Circles... "have no corners. not like triangles. triangles have corners... have 3 corners... see..."a line out of "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry".sometimes our lives are very much like circles... no corners, just going round and round. like Zhao Zilong in "The Three Kingdoms: Rise of the Dragon". all his life fighting and in the end, he returns to the same place. one big circle. the flasback at the end (spoiler alert) where he is back at the temple/fort where he first made a name for himself was particularly poignant, especially if you are someone like me who would think about all the emotions that i would feel if i were in a similar situation. i would be thinking of the impendeing end, all the things that i have done, the name that i have carved out for myself, the journey that i've taken which has brought me back to where i first began. i would feel poignant, there will be an aching in my heart and a slight sour taste in my mouth. but my lips will be curled upwards in a wry smile, my eyes will be focused into the distance, with a glint of joy, joy in the knowledge that while i have spent my life going in a circle, i have seen many beautiful things along the journey.it is not the destination that is important. for all our final destination are the gateway into Death's dominion. but the experiences that we have had, the people we have met, the lives we have touched, the story that we have left behind.it may be a circle. but let it be a beautiful one. Increased Productivity I think that I will be blogging a fair bit more nowadays, thanks to my latest buy...I've been spending much time exploring its functions, seeing how it can help increase my productivity. The GPS will most likely be useful, and so will its ability for me to scribble thoughts, ideas, to do lists, etc. With luck, I would have helped the govt spend its money well...But for now, i'll be satisfied with using it to allay my boredom... And man... Am I bored or what! I now understand why we say that we are bored to tears... Cos when you are really bored, you tend to feel sleepy. And when u try to stay awake, you inevitably tear. Well, at least that's what happened to me...I wonder whether it's faster for me to use this keyboard or whether it's faster for me to use the stylus and write... ha... perhaps it will be my little research project to kill time... which seems to be crawling slower than a drunk snail....grr... need more fun things on my phone to... erm... increase productivity.hehs. Specters from the past haunt me.i chanced upon this clip.i think if you were to make me go through it again, i will be paralysed with fear when i reach the Jacob's ladder. An answer i wasn't referencing to our need for sex in my previous post. i was talking about something more fundamental, that which fuels the need for sex: the biological imperative to propogate our genes, the undeniable drive to ensure the survival of the species. what inspired that post? perhaps what i've been reading. Orson Scott Card's Ender Series. Ender's Game, the first book, is a great read. not as good as Huxley's Brave New World and definitely not as good as Rand's Fountainhead, but probably on par wth Asimov. but it's good enough for me. i don't think i'm in the right frame of mind to go through something more powerful and moving. Do you know how a butterfly thinks? we would think that once a butterfly tastes the sweet air of freedom, experiences the thrill of soaring through the air and sees the beauty of the light, it won't ever want to go back to the dark imprisonment of its chrysallis. however, the above is highly anthropomorphic. we have no way of knowing how a butterfly thinks (or not). and it is not realistic to think that the butterfly would value its 'freedom' after the metamorphosis as much as humans value our 'freedom'. the only thing that we can be sure of about the similarities of a butterfly and a human being is that we are both driven by the same base desires to ensure the survival of the species.lastly, the light that the butterfly is attracted to might well be some bug-zapper thing. bzzt...