"Don't mean nothing..." There's a saying in the U.S. Marine Corps: "don't mean nothing."I remember while I was still serving national service in the army, we were involved in a combined training exercise with a visiting Marine Corps company, and I heard the grunts use that phrase a lot."Your company commander's fond of changing his plans, doesn't he?"Marine: "Don't mean nothing."Or"Geez, at this rate, we're gonna suffer really high casualty rates if we don't sit down and consolidate our guys."Marine: "Don't mean nothing."And it seems "don't mean nothing" goes hand in hand with "it's just the mission.""I'm gonna blow your head off, but don't mean nothing."---If you thought about it, Marine Corps or not, "don't mean nothing" is applicable to life in general, be it work, relationships, you name it.Boss says "R, get the deal done, hit $1.2M in sales, and we'll move you up management."My response would be "don't mean nothing", because you can even promise me a knighthood and a dinner with the Pope, it's all talk unless you put your money where your mouth is.Management seems to be fond of saying things like this. All the promises of promotions, pay raises, movements into regional roles etc... and come crunch time for you to claim your rewards and incentives, they shoot you some lame excuse of "oh, we were planning to do that, but we're having some challenges at the moment, so hang in there", or "there's a headcount freeze at the regional HQ, so you might want to revisit that in 6 months' time". And you and I both know all it means is a whole load of bullshit.Even in relationships, it happens. You meet someone hot, you wanna get into her pants, you start sweet-talking about anything and everything under the sun, and once the dirty deed is done, you're out of there faster than a SEAL team caught in a hot-zone in Somalia.Again, don't mean nothing. Unless you really want to be caught in a situation you can't get out of. And unless you're really certain you can deliver the goods, talk is cheap. But how long can you go on bullshitting and making empty promises before people wise up and confront you?Go figure. Win a contest to watch Wall.E with... me?Heh.Doing this because I was tagged by dear HB, so okay, anything for a nice lady. Besides, I wouldn't mind forgoing work to catch a movie with a babe... :PCome to think of it, the little 'bot does seem cute enough...Anyhow, this is a contest nonetheless, and if you really do wanna watch it with me for real, here's what you do:Instruction: Cut and paste my statement below onto your blog, The craziest thing I have done for love is believing it is love when it actually was a booty call…Catch Wall-E in cinemas from 28 August 2008″(ORIGINATOR BLOG: http://the-hb-diaries.blogspot.com)followed by your own, followed by the people you tagged stating me as the originator. What this means is this: HB tagged me, so here's my bit(1) The craziest thing I have done for love is believing it is love when it actually was a booty call…Catch Wall-E in cinemas from 28 August 2008″(ORIGINATOR BLOG: http://the-hb-diaries.blogspot.com)(2) the craziest thing I have ever done for love, it's standing out in the rain with an umbrella waiting to catch a glimpse of this girl I had a crush on...just to ask her for her name and number. :D...hey, I was 18 then!Catch Wall-E in cinemas from 28 August 2008″(http://www.peranakandude.com/)so, if that's done, and if we do win, I'll get the popcorns. :DMy tags:Attic RosesBrainy BimboXenaIndyJasSerendipitySoft FluttersSG Fairy Nice... Had a great lunch break today, and I am satisfied… ...for now.Wonder if I can do likewise next week? *evil grin*Have a good weekend, all! What in the...?? Her: "Don't treat me too nice or I might just fall for you..."Me: "Huh?"Her: "Even my boyfriend doesn't treat me as nice..."What the hell. I mean, firstly, you mean to tell me just because a guy treats a woman well, it's only because he expects something in return, like a chance to have sex with her?And you mean to say there are actually men out there who don't treat their girlfriends, wives or lovers as well as other men do?Perhaps I was brought up the old fashioned way that dictated that a man's obliged to give in to a woman-- call it chivalry, sexist even, but that's the way it is: as a guy, I'm compelled to treat a woman right, so long as she doesn't start acting like a bitch, and as long as she remains respectable.But how do you define treating a woman "nice" anyway? Is saying "yes" to her every demand and whim being "nice"? Or is "nice" defined as buying her expensive gifts and dining at fine restaurants etc? I ask that because I have come to realise different women define treating them "nice" or treating them "right" differently. For some, it's about respecting them as equals, and don't mind going dutch on dates; some women think it's enough for the man to make time to keep her company, even if he's already married with kids; yet for some women, it's about the fancy cars, expensive restaurants and the Cartier trinket that matters.In any case, however you define it, I treat any woman right to begin with in the sense that I respect her as an equal, not as some object or lesser being. I think it's the basic practice anyway, that any man gives a woman respect, whether she's attractive-looking or not.And I definitely don't do it simply to find a way to get her into bed, for believe it or not, I am selective about who I fuck. Or not.Even if you're a guy desperately trying to get laid, the moment you stop seeing her as a person and start thinking she's some sex toy you must have to satisfy your cravings, all the more you won't get any.I do, however, have an issue with what she said about the boyfriend not treating her as nice. I mean, why do so many women I know put up with, and give in to, ridiculous-- even inexplicably stupid-- demands made by jealous boyfriends, husbands, lovers etc when these women are, in my opinion, both intelligent and beautiful and therefore deserve better than the assholes they're stuck with?I'm not saying it because I want to sound nobler or get into the good books of dozens of women out there-- I am really puzzled as to why such women settle for so much less (very, very pathetic options, some of them) in the form of drunken abusive husbands or boyfriends who restrict freedoms to even choose their friends, and yet find ways to convince-- nay, delude themselves-- that things are going fine or would get better when in reality, everything sucks?But I shan't go on, because there are a couple of women I know in real life who read this blog that probably ask me to shut up now...the very ones who make up excuses day after day to tell themselves their significant other is indeed treating them "right", never mind the beatings or verbal abuses.Let me end off by stating on record: I absolutely despise men who treat women as lesser beings or as objects to be owned.It's hard not to treat her "right"... Heh. If I could have things my way, here’s a company I would love to be part of.Recognize it? Of course you do. My guess is even if you don’t really know what they do, you would have heard of them somehow.Thing is, for a company of that prestige, you don’t simply write in to apply for a job as one of their consultants—you have to be headhunted yourself to become part of them, and maybe it’s because I don’t do that many $200k a year positions to get noticed by K/F.Even headhunters have egos, for all the “people-oriented” people we’re supposed to be. Oh well. Let’s see what goes. :D Plunge. Life is such that, if you didn’t try out new things, you would never know what possibilities a chance encounter or an opportunity would bring.Sure, it could get pretty scary at times: the new work colleagues could be a bunch of back-stabbing two-headed snakes, people may actually think you looked like an escaped convict with that new haircut, that new girl may fart after sex and spoil the magical moment… the list goes on. But what if things weren't as bad you think they may be?Insanity, as defined by some, is the act of doing the same things over and over, and expecting different results and outcomes. I’d gladly take the path less trodden, never mind what mysteries and unknowns belie ahead, all for one chance to say, “well, at least I wouldn’t regret not acting on my instincts to find out.”At worst, you learnt one way not to impress a woman. At best, you gained another friend, never mind if you fucked her or not.Well, that’s coming from the angle of meeting someone new and taking a chance to see what happens. So there may be disappointments, so there may be rejections, so either (or both) of you could end up embarrassed, disgusted or turned off, but the point being: you'll never know till you tried, would you?Same goes for career, studies…just about any pursuit you current endeavor in (yes, even attempting position #25 in the Kama Sutra).Go on, take a risk. If it makes you happy if only for a fleeting moment to know you took a risk and it was well worth it, why spend the rest of your time wishing you had the courage to break away from your inhibitions and comfort zone to explore?Life’s too short to be spent procrastinating. And then you die. On Morgan Freeman and sexy babes Hope Morgan Freeman comes out well from his accident. Here's one actor I truly admire, and it was only recently that we caught him on The Dark Knight, along with Evan Almighty. Someone joked on the radio that Freeman can’t be killed since “he’s God!” and while it takes to the lighter side of things, I sure hope to catch the 71-year-old in action soon.---On a separate note, anybody reads dreams? Because I just had one last night about being in bed with 3 sexy gorgeous women, all at the same time, and 2 of whom I actually know and met. It's definitely a tingling experience...the laced thongs, hungry lips and mouth, tantalising tits and more... Of course, things like this, La Femme doesn’t need to know. :P Infinite Monkeys' Theorem Here's food for thought: your average chimpanzee, hitting on random keys on a typewriter, for an infinite amount of time will almost surely produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare.While this is mathematically a possibility, if you took it metaphorically, what it means is that we can basically get by with many things in life simply by going through the motions, but never really understanding what we were actually doing. And if you really looked around at any workplace or office, that’s just it, isn’t it: people are like automata working away, and never really giving thought as to what their work really means, or what is the significance of their actions. In other words, you needn’t have a lot of brains to do the job of a CEO, really, you just need a tremendous amount of luck to even get to that position in the first place.I’m sorry, must be the Tyler Durden in me ranting away again… Mischief. Mayhem. Soap. Gaah! I should really learn to log off totally from my computer each time I’m not at my desk.I suppose it’s a habit for many of us that, for the convenience of it, we probably just leave the computers to hibernate instead of logging off or shutting down, for the hassle of having to wait for the damned electronic bastard to boot up again the next time you’re at work.But like it or not, it will happen that some busybodies at work will “accidentally” bring your computer out of its slumber, and see things they shouldn’t see, or read messages (worse, I didn’t even get out of MS Outlook!) that are not intended for their eyes.So needless to say, some things will get out of hand, and it’s no wonder that I had to have a little “counseling” session on the pretext of a smoke break with the reporting manager just to see if things are fine at my end.Get your pokey nose out of my ass, if that’s the end you meant. Damn it, if only you could just leave people to do the things t hey want to instead of micro-managing everything—if there’s anything I hate, it’s anal managers who want to know everything, never mind if you were the top billing consultant or not.Then there’s this tendency to think that more can be done to bring in more sales and make the figures look better. It’s like you were asked to harpoon Mobi Dick, and when you get hold of the elusive white whale, the Higher Powers that may be asks that you find TWO more Mobis. Or Dicks. Whichever fits the bill better.Like, hello, there’s a time and place for everything, and I’ve said it time and again: I’m nobody’s money tree. You can’t expect me to miraculously produce deals out of nowhere, of if that really could be done, why the hell would I still be working for anyone? I may as well stay home all day, shake off whichever part of me that can produce money out of thin air, and become a rich wealthy person myself instead of making someone else richer?Sadly, the world is such that we all end up working for dumb asses. Sure, there are managers and bosses who are brilliant and deserve respect, but equally, there’re a lot more dumb asses out there who are millionaires and you’re not. Ever wondered why?I sound like some anti-capitalist anarchist talking like this, but I’m sure many people out there will agree: many bosses are dumb asses, period. Makes you wonder how the hell they even got up there in the first place—lucky bet in the lottery perhaps?What’s even more amazing are the armies of brilliant and intelligent people who subjugate themselves to people like that making these dumb asses richer while stickling out for just barely decent salaries month after month.Time for another revolution perhaps? One that overturns all the riches brought about by the Industrial Age that turned these pot-bellied capitalists into pompous wealthy dumb asses they are, and perhaps redistribute their collective wealth into the pockets of the people who deserve these better?I must sound like a Karl Marx or a Tyler Durden. Gosh, and to think all of this started with just a simple thing as not logging off from your computer on a Friday. Where have my weekends gone? There really should be a law passed on making people even have to think about their work on weekends.As far as I'm concerned, weekends start at 4.30pm on Fridays (for some, it's the whole of Friday, if you're lucky enough to have a four-day work week), and anything in between that time to 8.30am on Monday should be placed priority 3, with even something like "lazing on a deck chair at the beach" being moved to priority 1 tasking for the weekend.It's criminal to have to work or even associate with people from work on the weekends. Really. It's like, come on, leave my weekends alone, I already have to face the lot of you for 5 days a week, and you have to insist on me being reminded of work on my Saturdays and Sundays as well, just so to please the boss?Fucking crap. So you think you are smart? Some fun for lazy afternoons…or trying to jump-start your brain after a heavy lunch (burp)(1) A farmer has 17 sheep. He lost all but 9 in an accident involving a combined harvester that went awry on the fields they were grazing on. How many sheep did he have left?(2) If you were running in a 100-m race with 8 other runners and overtake all except the second one, which position would you be in?(3) Carol’s father has five daughters: Mariah, Alicia, Nina and Josephine. What’s the name of the fifth daughter?(4) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?(5) Jack jumped over a candlestick. A grasshopper about 200x smaller than Jack can jump the same distance. Who jumped higher?(6) If Brad Pitt says eating kidney beans will extend your lifespan by another 20 years, then kidney beans must be good for you. True or false?(7) All black beans are the same as green beans. Eating green beans give you bad gas. Therefore, eating black beans will give you bad gas. True or false?(8) Ian Thorpe won the 200m freestyle men’s swimming event in 1 min 44.71s at the 2004 Athens Olympics, along with another gold medal, a silver and three bronze medals. Ian Thorpe says carbon emissions from idle car engines are the biggest cause of global warming. Should we believe Ian Thorpe? Ooh la la... It seems I'm getting insatiable these days, whether you're talking about career choices, or sex. I can't seem to get enough out of anything, and I'm hungry for more.The question is: how many of these opportunities actually match up to my expectations, the way I define "satisfying career" or "fantastic sex"?Perhaps it's true when people who know me say I set very high expectations and standards, but that's the way I am: why settle for anything less than what you think you deserve or should be entitled to?Greed, lust, envy-- now, that's three cardinal sins already. Definitely not going to heaven, but I’m not worried. :D Perhaps this is fate... ...that after a day of bullshit at work, I get some calls asking if I was looking for a change in career.It's weird that, one moment I was feeling down about not being able to do things I would love to, or how I question the ethics of the views of management where I'm currently at, the next moment I start getting calls from people offering a way out-- and some very tempting offers, I must say.And yes, someone did actually read the last 2 entries and was asking if I really wanted a more refreshing, a more liberating way of doing things in my areas of expertise and forte. But as with everything else, the autonomy and freedom would come with a price, and I am now doing my own costs-benefits analysis to access if any plunges are worthwhile.I have learnt from all the years on the job that the best way to make decisions in such situations, i.e. being given so many options, is to take a step back, and more importantly, to take your time to do your internal assessments, best done in your own space and time, and certainly without the opinions and views of other people around you. There are times you take risks, and there are times you take calculated risks, particularly in a high stakes game where one wrong move could mean losing every bit of credibility you earned, and having to start over. And if the other party isn't willing to wait for your reply, well, too bad, pass, and wait for the next opportunity to come along.And the world is full of opportunities. You just have to know where to start looking. Rant. Given a choice, I wouldn’t mind being labeled a beach bum owning a small pub by some beach, and just lazing the hours by.No really, for all the suits and ties and fancy business talk and the deals I bring in, I’m not concerned about being filthy wealthy with money to throw around—I think the world’s already filled with people like that, and it’s not my wish to be another Trump or one of the Hiltons.Instead, all I ask for is to be free. Free to do whatever I want without a care of what the world thinks of me: if I decide to drop everything, sell of my possessions and embark on a backpack around the world trip if it makes me happy, I will, without a care or worry of what happens next.We’re all in bondage because of our material needs and possessions, and worrying too much about what people think of us and living up to societal expectations. Advertisements make you think you have to have a Samsung Omnia or wear an Armani suit to be successful.In a sense, I am in cognitive disagreement—who isn’t? On one hand, I come across to business associates as a sharp, fast-thinking opportunistic business person who’s market saavy and delivers hard targets in my day job. Yet, catch me on Sundays, and you’ll probably find me a scruffy bum—a far cry from the neat and fresh clothes, tie and polished executive shoes you see from 9am to 5pm on weekdays.And the reason why I haven’t gone out to be the free spirit I want to be is because there are still chains that bind me (some call it ‘debt”) to my corporate existence. To be totally honest, I don’t want to be a victim of my own successes, because I know that money is a drug, and it’s easy to get sucked in and lose your ideals when you start seeing additional commas and zeros behind your bank account.There are many things that, in another life, I would have gladly done: be a travel writer or photographer, be an archaeologist, write a book—things that are so much different from the executive “professional “ me.In my day job too, I come into contact with professionals and powerful corporate people—senior managers, directors, even CEOs and MDs, and I often ask myself that, if all that matters are the big powerful titles, power suits, the first/business class tickets on major carriers and fat paychecks, then why are so many of these people still unhappy, because there are so many other people who would look up to them and go, “gosh, I wish I could be like them.”Perhaps all this is just idle talk to some, perhaps I’m just being another one of them idealistic dreamer bum types, but I always believe that life is actually meant to be simple. “Simple”, as in you should be free to make and do whatever you wished to, without fear of, oh I don’t know, what your mother-in-law thinks, for instance.There will come a day when I would lose the ties and the suits in exchange for a floral print beach shirt or a wetsuit. There will come a day when my workplace isn’t some high-rise lifeless concrete structure that sucks and locks its occupants in for the pursuit of dollars and cents, but a open beach that I can run out to and dive amongst corals, or just lounge about and sun bathe nude, skin cancer or not.There will come a day when home is a yacht sailing care-lessly down the Nile in the sunset with my loved one in my arms, sipping champagne and never mind how old we would be, but she would stick by me and we’d be oblivious to everything else except the warmth of each other’s bodies.Until I fulfill some obligations, all these dreams will have to be KIV’d for now. Between now and then, I shall just have to put on that cold mask of a high-achieving corporate executive, just so to make sure I break all the binding chains. If that’s what it takes, so be it, but the day I lose the tie and yell “I quit” for the final time, it shall be my greatest triumph in my corporate career—not the million dollar billings that make my already-wealthy boss an even wealthier man than he is. Who gives a shit? Who is he to me anyway?Until then, just know me for being the driven rainmaker—driven, not by promises of material riches, but driven by the allure of an even enriching lifestyle. Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away If you can use some exotic booze There's a bar in far Bombay Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away Come fly with me, let's float down to Peru In llama land there's a one-man band And he'll toot his flute for you Come fly with me, let's take off in the blue Once I get you up there where the air is rarified We'll just glide, starry-eyed Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together Weather-wise it's such a lovely day You just say the words and we'll beat the birds Down to Ac apulco Bay It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away Do you hear the whistles a-blowing? Question: does it really matter if the candidate or applicant for a job has a hearing impairment problem so long as he has the relevant qualifications and work experience? I mean, it’s not like the job requires him to talk a lot on the phone or to clients. In fact, he’d probably be spending more time going through contracts and documents, and I suppose he will have to argue with these inanimate pieces of paper, hence the rejection of his application?HR managers, hiring managers, if you’re reading this, please do us all a favour—don’t go round saying you’re an “equal opportunities” employer if you’re just merely paying lip service, because I think not only is it unprofessional, it’s unethical as well.Or should I go blow the whistle on such organizations—some of them very respected blue chip MNCs? You think it’s a good idea? Then we can finally expose the not-so-equal opportunities present in the corporate world, even in a highly legislated corporate environment like Singapore’s. And you’d be surprised which companies practice such discriminatory policies.*Appendum added 29 Jul* Now the situation's even worse-- it seems it's ok to have a disability or a mild physical handicap. So long as you are Caucasian. Sorry if I rubbed the wrong shoulders somewhere.In any case, no, I shall not blow the whistle yet, because reality is such that you sometimes have to bow down to those who pay your fees or salary. I suppose that's why we lack progress in such things, because everyone's concerned about their own livelihoods at the end of the day. I hate my cowardice in this, but for now, I just have to grit my teeth and bear with it, no matter how disgusted I feel about things, simply because I have yet to build up something that allows me the luxury of walking out from jobs and clients when I feel pissed off. Not yet. I see in the mirror... Men look in the mirror, and they see this:Women, on the other hand, look at their reflections and see this:Which I think is a crying shame, because there certainly are many beautiful and gorgeous women around, and all they see are the imperfections—dry/oily skin, too dark/fair, hair too straight/curly, breasts not big/small enough etc.And when you meet a woman who’s very self-assured and confident of the way she looks, it becomes impressive, and indeed, sexy. Women who exude sex appeal are not necessarily Maggie Q look-alikes—they’re just confident of the way they are and they flaunt.I suppose it’s the same way how women find confidence in men sexy. Couple that with intelligence and wit, and you have a winner, never mind the looks.Beauty is only skin-deep, no? %$^#!!! Why is it so difficult to get the point across to people sometimes?It’s not like I’m speaking Greek and you talking in Mandarin—maybe the accent’s different, and some terms we use may differ too—but why should communication break down thus when 2 people are talking in the same language?Perhaps it’s my fault for not taking a personal stake in the process: see, this is the exact reason why I don’t trust people easily, and neither can I adopt a “hands-off” approach to managing people and tasks—because I can only rely and trust my own competencies and abilities. I’m sorry too, if my standards are so high the only person who can fulfill them is me.I’d like to quote Cao Cao, the Premier of the late Han Dynasty during the Three Kingdoms period in China: I would rather fail others, than to allow others to fail me.And indeed, that’s a philosophy I shall adhere to. If you have to do anything right, you have to do it yourself, and true to Murphy’s Law, anything and everything that can go wrong, will. You simply cannot trust people to deliver precisely what you want (not even Fedex and DHL!)It’s a philosophy that will not sit well with many people reading this, I know, but I’m sure the managers out there will agree to some extent: you can’t just trust people too much.And it’s not a popularity contest too: the hallmark of a true leader isn’t how likeable this person is, but rather his/her power and influence, both of which are not synonymous with popularity.I’m feeling frustrated, I’m pissed off, and really, one more, and I swear I will unleash hell upon those who fail me again. Mind games. Seduction begins not at the point when the clothes start coming off, but rather, it happens already in your minds the moment you start your innocent flirting.And sometimes it begins even before you even have a one-on-one meeting with that person.I suppose in a sense, given 80% of all communication is non-verbal in nature, you probably tell and can tell a lot more through your body language and actions than actually going up to a woman and saying, “I wanna lay you”.And given our actions and body language are a function of what the mind thinks, it probably justifies what I said about seduction beginning with a single thought in your mind.But really, I’ve learnt from quite early on that while men are aroused through visual stimulation (e.g. pornography), women are more aroused through mental stimulation than the physical. I think it’s quite safe to say the mere thought and anticipation of sex is more exciting than the physical act itself, for some women (especially given how so many women complain about the bedroom abilities of their partners).So, theoretically, I can already be having sex with a woman in her mind before we actually do anything, and probably all that comes together for a heightened experience when we actually do it. Flirt, tease, talk dirty, and then you leave her wondering what the real deal would feel like, and I’m sure when you get the opportunity to get physical, it’s something that’s sort of like a natural progression.In practice, it actually works, and I’m sure as hell glad it does. :D Illuminate Question: How many light bulbs would it take to light up a 8m x 8m room?Answer: Just one.In the same light (no pun intended), it only takes one person in a group of many to take the initiative and turn useless banter into proper action, and what a difference it would make!Of course, being ever the cynic, I would say it also takes another bright spark to make sure the damned bulb is plugged into the socket, else everything would be still living in the Dark Ages.Still, all it takes is the initiative of one to set in motion a whole chain of events that can change everything in a high stakes game. It just takes one to set the stage right, and everyone else would probably follow suit.Here's the million dollar question: why then is it always the usual suspects who have to stick their heads out to be the ones that make the difference?*I'm so, so tired these days*. Now this is freaky... MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities Gen X vs Gen Y What a difference an age gap of 5-10 years makes yeah?No, I’m not talking about the older guy/younger girl issue—think we’re over that discussion now. This time it’s about the Gen X vs. Gen Y workers, because there was an article in a section of the Straits Times where they interviewed a couple of Gen Y fresh grads who have either started work, or is about to start work, and some of the comments are kinda interesting, at least to a recruiter like me.It seems the Gen Yers expect a lot these days: high salaries, no “grunt work”, they want regional roles right from the start, and there’s this startling mentality that, because they spent so many years in the paper chase for diplomas and degrees, they don’t expect to be shortchanged in employment opportunities.Which makes me wonder if they’re too idealistic without a lack of understanding market and economic conditions, or if by some chance there’s this idealism in the tertiary institutions that makes the Gen Y graduate think he/she is better than their predecessors who have already earned their spurs in the workplace.I cite this example: couple of months back, I was engaged to find a couple of entry level engineer positions for a client—I don’t do junior positions, but because this was a prized client, I did it more for the obligation and good will than the money—and so I placed an ad for freshies, got numerous applications, and one thing that surprised me and the client was that 90% of the applicants, be they local or foreign applicants, were asking for starting salaries of at least SGD$3,500 a month.Reality bite: an engineer with 4 years’ work experience earns SGD$3,500 a month in today’s condition, with a starting pay of SGD$2,800 and getting the $700 increment (or 25%) over the 48 months, meaning an average of 5- to 6% increment per year.You mean to tell me that somehow, 4 years on, fresh graduates suddenly expect to be placed on the same terms with someone with more years of working experience and exposure to the market? On what basis are they asking for those terms?Or have the schools failed to educate the new job market entrants on the realistic starting salaries in today’s economic and market conditions?FYI, in the end, the client decided to employ 2 engineers from an original order of 4 with starting salaries of SGD$3,000 a month, and both candidates are non-Singaporeans.I’m wondering how the fresh graduates derived their salary expectations. If it’s through some market survey, I think many missed out on the “number of years of experience” bit. Either that, or they think that somehow, the education system 4 years on would miraculously provide them with skills and competencies that in my opinion can only come about with work experience—things like business sense, customership and operational process overviews (which varies from company to company, even if the title is the same).Perhaps there really is a difference to the mindsets of the youth today. When I left school, we were coming out of the Asian Economic Crisis, and I remembered everyone’s main concerns then was finding and securing a job, never mind if it’s a dream job or not. It was a mentality then that any job was better than having no job.Ask any Gen Xer or their predecessors, and I don’t think anyone of us would accept it if some Gen Yer said that they have bigger ambitions, are more outspoken and possess more creativity and energy, and therefore should compete on equal terms as the experienced hires.Thankfully though, hiring decisions are not determined by the whims and demands of candidates, for in the end, if you weren’t realistic about things, if you were stubborn enough to apply for positions you didn’t meet the minimum criteria for (especially the experience bit), you didn’t get the job. HR managers and directors are not intimidated by a bunch of outspoken kids who make all sorts of demands, and decisions are based on business needs and cost considerations—go ahead, set your ridiculous expectations and price yourself out, for in a free market, what it means is that the employers benefit in the end.It’s always an employer’s market no matter what. The one who makes the decision to hire or fire possesses all the power.As a recruiter, I just find it rather disturbing that there is a general sense amongst the Gen Yers that because of their strong characters and outspokenness, the world has to kowtow to them.Or maybe I really am a stiff to begin with, now that some of these Gen Y youth have started calling me “uncle”. :P Techno-tools I consider myself as someone who embraces technology readily, and anything that makes life easier, be it a universal remote controller, a computer with the highest possible processing speed in the market, or even online social networking tools—anything that takes the pain out of doing something manually and keeping things neat and efficient, I’m open to exploring.And as a result, I ended up setting up a group on Facebook for the guys at the office. It started off 2 weeks ago, and really, we’re still in the process of figuring out what works and what doesn’t, but thus far, the results have been really encouraging.Given that we are in a very niche market, and on the hunt for a particular group of people that would interest our clients, what better way to try to “capture” as large a base as possible by tapping on the social networks of our colleagues and candidates?Unless, of course, you were talking about someone like me whose FB account probably has more contacts of people who are least likely to be engineering or technical people, but I think so far, where my other colleagues and their candidates are concerned, we’re getting the right hits.I think in order to remain ahead of the game in this time and age, you can’t rely on the “traditional” way of doing things. And since we’re talking about my industry, I may as well as that I have learnt not to rely on commercial databases and job search portals the likes of Monster.Com and JobsDB.Com to find my prey. I’m sorry, I meant to say “eligible candidates”.Instead, I’ve learnt to tap on technology: internet Yellow Pages, LinkedIn, even Facebook, have all become useful allies at work. There’re other means of course, but I’m talking about being able to connect to people readily and easily, and having accessibility to their networks as well—the theory that, since birds of the same feather should flock together, the chances of finding someone two or three degrees away from my first level contacts who are suitable candidates for my clients should therefore be themselves likely candidates as well.So anyway, if you were already trying to access the Facebook group, sorry, but that group is at the moment by invitation or by moderator approvals only. If you’re keen, go ahead and try to join the group. But I’ll say upfront that if you were another headhunter, sorry, no go. What, you think I was going to set up something that gives you ready access to candidates, colleagues and clients that easily? :DPoint is, new time and age calls for new ways to solve old problems. I’d like to term it thinking out of the box, provided you even know where the margins of that box lie, as what a friend would say. And the point being...? First up, an apology if anyone's feelings get hurt along the way in this entry. It's not my intention to get personal with anyone, and the whole issue is about me not being able to understand what the whole point is in the fracas I'll be describing in a while...Wait, who am I kidding-- someone will start thinking I have a personal vendetta, and inevitably there will be some rebuttals, but do I care? Not really.In any case, here goes. This is about an article in the Sunday Times today about a rivalry between two eminent bloggers in the local blogosphere scene gone awry, and really, I can't help but wonder if journalists these days have got nothing better to do-- aren't there bigger issues in the world, like oil prices and people getting killed in some hot zone around the world (how about closer to home in Cambodia and Thailand?) than to splash a full page (ok, I exaggerate-- half page) article about 2 prima donnas bitching it out on the web, and then one goes and sends a lawyer letter from a certain esteemed law firm (so much money ah?) to the other, and the latter goes and gets her own lawyer in preparation of the case that will come. BTW, lawyers and judges these days have too much free time at hand too, yeah, to even want to take up this tussle in court.What's the whole point of this? The two have been battling it out on the Internet for yonks, and I'm just wondering why continue to wash your dirty linen in public when half the population who reads blogs would already have heard of the accusations and cat-calls and such?But I suppose another prominent blogger, Mr Benjamin Lee a.k.a. Mr Miyagi, summed it up pretty nicely in the article: it's all about the hit rates, and something like this, taken public, would generate even more hits to the two blogs, thereby driving up site visits and statistics, and thereby allowing both to go to their sponsors and advertisers and go, "nah, there you see, another 10,000 reads a day, and please give me a bigger cheque next time!"I've lost track of the whole issue, although fellow bloggers keep talking about it, both online or in the little communities they subscribe to. Come to think of it, since I quit blogging seriously about 2 years back (identity then: for me to know, for you to find out), I've lost touch with the professional bloggers (if there is such a thing) in Singapore, and not that it's a great loss to me too.So, if the whole point is about the hit rates and driving up the traffic and such leveraging on a made-up and hyped-up fiasco, then I congratulate the 2 "queens"-- obviously your PR people and your marketing knowledge have been fully put to good use, and who knows, you both could be having a good coffee time somewhere private and having a good laugh at all the gullible folks who are curious about WTF is going on, really.Then again, it sums up how the Singaporean consumer thinks, doesn't it: it's not about making the most logical or rational decisions, it's not even about the best bargains in town, it's all about where the crowds go to and not lose out.Which means, if I was a shrewd businessman, I could go out there, start up a business, say curry puffs, set up another outlet right opposite the first in a crowded mall, both under different business names, and get the 2 stalls to "fight it out" in a match to the death with discounts and slanderings etc-- and at the end of the day I'm laughing my way to the bank because--and I'll bet-- the Singaporean consumer would fall for it and I can expect long queues at BOTH stalls.Best thing is, the curry puffs don't even have to taste fantastic-- they just want to be a part of the action!But back to XX and DY: assuming that the situation is for real, and both are really slugging it out in a legal battlefield pointing fingers and rebutting the other's claims about, oh I don't know, nose jobs, boob jobs, whose plastic surgeon was more effective (perhaps they both went to the same one??), why take this whole blogging thing so seriously? Aren't there bigger things in life than turning things ugly, and for what?Most of all, blogging is supposed to be a form of amusement and entertainment, even if you're planning to use your presence on the Internet to propel you to instant fame. I don't know which is worse: posting up suggestive, even lewd photographs on one's blog, or engaging in a Celebrity Deathmatch moment with all the nasty comments and remarks and such. Both seem senseless to me, even for someone seeking stardom and celebrity status.Why do we blog? For some, it's about the publicity and the sponsorships and a shot at glamor; for some, it's an outlet to rant about things because, perhaps in one's personal life, there are too many things at stake to rant too openly-- like professional credibility for instance. I suppose the second reason is more personal to me, and indeed, to some other professionals (lawyers, teachers, businessmen) whose professional credibility is tied to personal image somehow, and the risks of putting up something defamatory remarks about others would be taken in a negative light in your professional career.Then there're people who blog simply because they want to share things with others for very personal reasons-- religiosity, for instance, or sharing ideas about charity work etc.I suppose when you turn your blogging activities into something commercial, a lot is at stake. You have advertisers' concerns to address, you have critics who slam you for the smallest thing, like missing out one 'S' or a 'P' in "Mississippi" for instance, and you have rivals who engage in verbal combat to discredit you, all in the name of "publicity".I don't know-- when I read about things like this in the papers, my first reaction is to question why there's even an article in a national vehicle meant for "grown up issues", shall we say? Perhaps there is a place for fiascoes like this in a tabloid (read: tabloid trash), but to bring it up in a national newspaper? Like, would it really make a difference in the world of larger socio-economic-political issues who wins the case? I don't think so. I'm just wondering what went on in the minds of the editors when they decided to run the story. Not enough news to take up the space? It's half a page, for goodness sake, go get an advertisement for some new condominium launch or something!Links: Dawn Yeo, Xiaxue Excuse my French... I must say that I’m rather impressed by the speed (though not the accuracy) of text translations by Babel Fish of my blog entries.The thing is, I was looking through, just for the heck of it, the electronically translated versions in Chines (Simplified) and Japanese, and I sure as hell can’t make out what the heck the text was trying to say most of the time!Probably the translation in German would be more accurate and closer to what I actually wrote, but the grammatical structures and sentence logic in Chinese, Japanese and French (possibly, because I don’t speak or read French) are way, way off.Lesson: if you’re thinking of relying on Babel Fish to translate love letters to impress some cute Japanese babe, think again. You’ll make her giggle, no doubt, but for the wrong reasons.Go ahead, give the widget a try—choose a second language you actually read and understand, and translate the blog entries. I’ll bet you’ll be wondering what the heck PD’s talking about. :D Full Circle. Some day, when I have made enough money (hmmm, there's never really enough, is there?) and grown tired of all the bitching and backstabbing of the corporate sector, I might actually consider a move back to becoming an educator once again.For those of you who do not know yet, that was how I started off my working life (not a career yet back in those days) amidst economic uncertainty due to the Asian Financial Crisis in 2000 following my graduation from university. I had hopes of joining the banking and finance sector then, fresh out of school with an economics degree, but none of the banks and finance houses were optimistically hiring people then.Plus, I was also burdened with financial debts, thanks to a failed venture trying to do up an IT startup with some friends while we were in the final year of uni, and that's when I learnt the lesson that, in this practical and realistic society we live in, when it comes to money and business, there are no real friends, and "friends" will turn their backs and run on you when the shit hits the fan, and being "Managing Director" as a legal entity means you will be the first person government agencies and creditors come after when you go bust.Anyhow, thanks to another friend who convinced me thus, I signed up to become a physical education teacher with the Singapore education services, and after 2 years of teachers' training, I was packed off to teaching PE and English to secondary school students.To be honest, I really did like teaching. I did enjoy the interactions with the students I taught, and certainly the colleagues were nice too. But the thing about teaching is: it drains you emotionally and mentally, and at the age of 23, and still bursting with a lot of energy to explore the "larger world out there", I gave up teaching to pursue corporate sector jobs because I wanted more exposure and to try my hand at other things.So began a roller-coaster ride as I tried to find out what I was really good at before I ended up in HR and becoming a headhunter-- for the moment a very rewarding job, because it allows me to make as much money as I want, it hones my business skills and salesmanship, I suddenly become more market and industry savvy in a sector that I had no previous experience or training in (engineering, more specifically the oil & gas, marine and offshore, and energy sectors), and I also become more people-savvy as well. I have no problems talking to directors, managing directors, GMs, even CEOs; engineers and mid-managers see me as an expert who helps them map out their careers better, and my clients come to me not only for their hiring needs, but also for intel on competitors, market and industry trends etc. For now, it seems my job and profession keeps me excited and happy for now.But deep inside, there is a side of me that wants to achieve more, beyond the being recognised as an industry expert and certainly beyond the paycheck that comes to me every month. I already know I can make money as and when I want, I know I have become more business and market savvy, and certainly I can boast among my achievements that I rub shoulders and count in my personal network (as in, converse on first name basis with) some of the top dogs working with Fortune 500 and blue-chip MNCs, people who are either my clients or candidates, and certainly people who are useful to keep in one's personal social and professional networks.Despite all the accomplishments and the moolah to indulge in myself and pamper La Femme, and despite the reputation I've over the years built for myself in the industry, despite everything, I still don't feel challenged enough. I often wonder what else is there-- I wonder if, at the end of the day, I can somehow accomplish more things that satisfy higher order needs. Like creating a legacy to leave behind when I'm gone.Investments and starting more businesses is one way to go about it, and that's certainly what I would do with all the money I'm making off headhunting, no doubts about that. Still, for all the material possessions and wealth, there are still certain things that adds up to overall self-actualization needs... like mentoring and nurturing people, for one.True, I do mentor and nurture subordinates and new joinees to the company, but that's not what I'm talking about.It's about moulding the mindsets of an entire new generation. Cliche and grandiose-sounding as it may seem (something off the Ministry of Education ads too), for all my hunger to achieve and excel at what I do, I really did believe in that mantra from my teaching days. That there is a pressing and urgent need-- not just important-- to nurture and mentor a whole generation of new employees, professions, specialists, managers, and leaders. There is a need to teach the young of today never to take anything for granted, a need to tell them that no one owes them a living, a need to show them that they would have everything to lose, a need to open their eyes that the world isn't always as rosy as it seems-- much as we try to impart knowledge and technical skills, along with morals and values to them in schools. I would say that I will gladly sit down with any youngling who's willing to listen to me, and tell him/her about the journey I've taken in my career, in life, in business, and hopefully educate this person such that he/she will never have to go through all the mistakes and bad decisions I've made in their quest for success.Perhaps I'm being too idealistic, but I remember someone (Donald Trump, I think) who said that behind every successful and ambitious individual is an idealistic and perfectionist's mind. Without ideals and dreams, there is no ambition and drive, and certainly no talk of successes.I'm beginning to think life is a full circle: we start off on one path, make changes and adjustments, and somehow, things come back to precisely where you started off. A circle.And talking to a friend this afternoon on a rare day off, sipping iced coffee and mango passion ice blends at East Coast, made me realise that there is still an educator in me. That one day I would rejoin the education profession-- wiser, more experienced, more learned, and certainly I hope with all the exposure and corporate experience, I would be a better educator than I once was....and of course, that's including the investments and small businesses on the side, but I would certainly consider a full-time job as a lecturer at the tertiary institutions. Honestly, knowing myself, I wouldn't have the patience to teach at the secondary and primary school levels, but I suppose with tertiary institutions and hopefully more mature students, I would actually enjoy teaching better.I don't know. It's something I would have to think over and take it slow. I did say after I've made enough money and had enough of the corporate bullshit-- perhaps in another 3-5 years? Let's wait and see. For the ladies Would you consider me dateable if you knew:1. I am obnoxious and an egomaniac.2. My arrogance is legendary, especially if you were working in the same industry as I am.3. I am a perfectionist and set high expectations of myself.4. I drive fast.5. I am a serial flirt, and I have a weakness for sexy beautiful women.6. I am quite MCP-ish sometimes.7. I have a thing for women in thongs AND high heels.8. I am skeptical about religious claims, or people who evangelize on the streets.9. I don’t take criticism about my professional abilities well.10. “Twice” is not enough (go figure).11. I cannot be tamed or owned.12. I seem to have a gift or talent in reading people and their intentions…which is sometimes scary to people I meet for the first time.13. I am a workaholic.14. I totally dig contact sports, so don’t be surprised to see me with some kind of injury or another.15. I can get lazy and sloppy.16. I am fussy about food.17. I don’t think “elitist” is a dirty word. Neither is “money”.18. Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do, and I ALWAYS get what I want in the end.19. I like to think I am smarter than most.20. Don’t try to impress me with your material possessions, because while I am indulgent, I am not threatened by people who are wealthier.21. I talk down to people I dislike.22. I wear my emotions on my face readily, so I can appear mercurial to some people.23. If I dislike someone, I show it; not the most patronizing or people-savvy person around.24. I don’t believe in second chances.…and I think that’s quite a list already. So, still dateable? Me, sex blogger?? If I started posting entries about my raunchy little escapades and naughty encounters, what would you make of it?Well, in another life, I would have done something like that, but it got to a point where I was left wondering "for what?", and decided to shut down before things get out of hand. Besides, these days, I have my professional image and reputation to worry about for something like that to make my clients and candidates get other funny ideas about me.The ladies, if they didn't mind the sexy and juicy details, would think of me as a wannabe erotic writer at best, and at worst, a sex-hungry lecher (albeit an educated one, not like one of those DOMs--dirty old men at some heartland coffeeshop sporting singlets, shorts and slippers and sipping stout while leering at middle-aged beer hostesses); the men would probably say, "yeah yeah, prove it-- no pics, no belief".But seeing that I'm no Jackie Collins or Sydney Sheldon, and that I'm never gonna have a shot at producing something that outclasses Morning, Noon & Night, I'll pass for now. I mean, really, why should I write a blog filled with sexcapades and wild parties, plaster half the entries with suggestive or even sexually explicit photographs of the women I'd romp in bed with, and then wait for the hit rates to go up?So what if my blog doesn't get an impressive hit count? It's not like I need sponsors or advertisers for income...unlike *ahem* certain "celebrity" bloggers out there who *cough* need resort to all sorts of means to finance their new Prada handbag or Victoria's Secret lingerie or *cough cough* new nose/boob job with the lipo at half price *violent coughing spree*The spittle aside (laced with remnants of nicotine and tar), I think you get my drift. It's not like I need the publicity that comes from being a "celebrity" or --and this one I like-- "sex" blogger.What the heck is a "sex blogger" supposed to be anyway? Someone who gets multiple orgasms out of blogging? "Oooh baby, don't stop typing, I'm coming *tippity tap* yes, yes *tap tap* oooooooh"...and hence the term sticky keys.Ctrl-Alt-Del that, it's totally off the point (or is it?)I was talking to someone on MSN yesterday, and frankly, I'm beginning to wonder about these sex bloggers on the web. Or sexy bloggers. Or bloggers who have sex while blogging. Whatever.The question is this: how many of them are really as hot in bed as they make themselves out to be?There's only one true way to find out, isn't it? In engineering, I believe they call it "Quality Management System (QMS)", which means, simply, go do a quality check and verify. And I'd gladly QMS any cute female sex blogger-- ISO, Six Sigma, whatever standards you want adhered to.Point is, on the wonderful world of the Internet and blogging, you can be more potent in bed than Austin Powers or have the psychedelic mojo of Donald Duck's uncle for all you want. Or if you are a woman, with some smart Photoshop techniques, you can have a sexier booty than Beyonce and Mariah Carey combined. And your online little black book could jolly well put James Bond to shame....and all that when, in reality, you could be just a regular janitor crying yourself to sleep in a small little closet while the world passes you by outside, oblivious to your pathetic little existence.Okay, I got a little carried away there. But you do get my point, don't you?You could say that there is absolute freedom of expression on the Internet. Which means should you decide to put up pictures of yourself dressed in a woman's thong and showing off your hairy balls to the rest of the world, simian you, it's perfectly fine.Then again, there is the view that, especially since EVERYONE has access, it's best your penchant for spreading peanut butter jelly on your dick to make the blowjobs better be left for your own exploration with your partner (who happens to look like a twin of Rosanne Barr). And believe me, I've learnt it the hard way previously that sooner or later, one of your readers will turn out to be some close friend, or a friend of a friend, or a relative, or your pet cat, and before long, the whole world knows that the sexy hot pussycat doll with the photos of camel-toes and luscious lips (go figure) on her blog is really some school canteen auntie with a curry-puff hairdo and two missing front teeth.How's that for a sexy good time on the Web?**** Keep Walking Here’s a Johnny Walker toast to all those people who, over the past 5 years have told me:“You’re too young to take on a leadership position.”“You’re too inexperienced and lack in-depth market knowledge to succeed in a business of your own.”“You need to wait in the wings as a ‘rite of passage’, and let those with more experience move on ahead of you.”“I don’t think you have what it takes to be…”It’s nice to see the look on your faces when you realize I’m the very consultant making you pay through your ears for my ‘expertise’. And for that matter, I will conveniently forget what you’ve said to me before questioning my experience and lack of knowledge and me being “too young” and all that hogwash, so long as you pay the bill sent to you.But thanks for all those comments and feedback—they have been great motivating factors for me to get me where I am, and I would say I have you to thank for all the little indulgences I now possess. Retro-rant I wrote once that older men in their thirties and forties wouldn’t take women in their twenties seriously in a relationship. I think I stirred up quite a nest with that one statement, but it’s still something I stand by (sorry ladies), because seriously, now that I am the older guy myself, there’s only one reason why I would want to hook up with a younger babe in her twenties.I mean, other than sex, what could possibly connect two people who are probably a good 8-10 years apart?To the woman in the relationship, yes, the older guy could be more appealing—supposedly more experienced in life and professionally, mature in his thinking (although I must digress: there are dudes I know in their forties who still act like 6 year olds), and with more, shall we say, “economic power” to boost his ego.A man who has a successful career and strong personality in his late thirties and forties can be very appealing, yes, never mind if he’s not a hunky-dory stud. Reason: power. I’d imagine a guy like that to be a powerful individual who awes, be it to a starry-eyed intern/mistress or a hapless executive anxious to please him in the hopes of a potential promotion at work.But what can the twenty-something sweetie possibly offer to a guy like that to make him take her seriously? I’m not challenging, rather, I’m wondering. I mean, the guy’s able to attract women of any age to him, and you have to agree older women in their thirties have a certain womanly appeal too.So I put it down to the sexual energy and chemistry first. Everything else comes later.I dated a twenty-something not too long ago, and really, it’s tough to keep up with the latest trends that seem to interest the twenty-somethings; even catching up on the latest episode of Lost downloaded from the web is a chore.Was a chore, because at the end of the day, it’s inevitable that after the sexual chemistry begins to wane off, the older dude decides to choose an older woman in her thirties to settle down with, even if he wants to maintain a “in an open relationship” status after marriage.I’ve seen it happen to so many of my guy friends my age, and you have to say, it’s a case of “oh, you got yourself another pair of pert tits to fuck with” instead of, “man, I’m impressed with the depth of knowledge that girl possesses in terms of her philosophical insights”, because at the end of the day, there are somethings that a youngling just doesn’t have.The same reason why the young women who love older men don’t even want to look at the guys their age, because these guys lack the sort of maturity, sense of stability and power (yes, power is a very sexy thing) that the older guy has.In a sense, it all adds up to the heightened sexual attraction, and again, there you go, it’s about sex at the end of the day, isn’t it?Or is it a case of, for all my supposed learnedness, shallow vision?I’d like to hear from you—the young perky sweetie whom I’d probably want to have a passionate affair with—as to how true do you think this perception is. Or if you think it helps to convince me, invite me to a cappuccino session. I promise it’ll be harmless. :) On "Sex and the City" We went to watch Sex and the City last weekend. Now, I’m not a big fan of the show, but it was enjoyable, nonetheless, but I couldn’t help but notice it’s the women who really enjoyed the show, and the guys around were probably helpless boyfriends and spouses who tagged along because the ladies they were with wanted to catch the movie.It is, afterall, a movie about women by women, for women. But the good thing is that it probably helps to understand that age-old question of what women want, really, particularly the new-age women who live in big cities.Think about it: Blaniks, Prada/Gucci bags, tea or after-work drinks with girlfriends with successful careers to finance their rather indulgent lifestyles, big city living, and well-to-do boyfriends and husbands with good careers. Sex and the City seems to spell out the standards that the twenty- and thirty-something women aspire to have in their lives these days.Relationships-wise, though, it seems to say that it’s the norm to have flings and cheating affairs whether or not you were married. Not saying it’s fine to think thus, but that’s by and large how things are like in reality—most women would want to be married and settle down at the end of the day, but it’s okay if it’s not your standard happy ever-after sort of relationship from then on.In a sense, many things about the show are a reflection of what people seem to think and how they behave these days. For one, I’m happy and comfortable with the way La Femme and I live our lives, and I don’t give a damn if it doesn’t conform to the standards and norms of “Asian living”. I suppose it’s hard to draw boundaries and say what’s “Asian” or “non-Asian”, really, and honestly, to say things like that is not only myopic, it’s a retrogression from trying to become a global village. Our lifestyles do influence, and is in turn influenced by, the way socio-economic changes take place.All that said, it’s still an enjoyable movie, and it’s a while since a show like that made me think over life in general. Of course, it helps that there were some fine looking women both in the movie, and at the cinema. :D