FRSS: Fat Reduced Short Stories - The Lingerie Salesgirl Introducing: A new addition to my humble blog, FRSS (Fat Reduced Short Stories)Hope you like it! :)--The Lingerie Salesgirl I work in a departmental store’s lingerie section, when I am not attending my part time classes. Being on my feet all day kills me, but I have gradually taken to people-watching to distract myself from the fatigue. The job is not too demanding actually; I take stock of the inventory, answer customer queries, size them up (ok, I meant measure them), make recommendations and sell them bras and panties in all shapes, colors and sizes.My manager always tells me that we are selling the idea of being sexy, but I could never figure out why.Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and the number of couples coming together to shop for lingerie has been increasing. I got the afternoon shift today and it was particularly quiet, given the fact that it was pouring outside. About an hour into my shift, a JC student from the neighbouring school, walked in, dressed in her sports attire, tanned and obviously an athlete from the words on the back of her tee-shirt. As she approached my section, I looked at her, nodded and smiled. She quickly avoided eye contact and walked to the thongs section. “34A, leave me alone type”, I thought to myself and went back to the shelves to hang up the latest V-Day arrival, “Deep T Fiery Romance” – Red Lacy T-backed bra with optional gel padding for customized push up functions. Priced at $129.90, I thought this was daylight robbery at its finest.After about 5 minutes, a squeaky, girlish voice behind me said, “Hello, do you have this design in 36B?” I replied, “Yes sure”, and turned around to find that schoolgirl standing behind me. Just then, another voice interrupted and said “Hello Darling! This design so sexy leh! Give me 36C to try!” It was the plump lady whom I always see walking past the store in the afternoons. Plump was a euphemism, given her height of 1.55m with her OTT getup of platform shoes, mini skirts, tights and revealing tank tops in XL size. This combination never failed to bring attention to her figure, or rather the lack of it.Now, I was more than happy to oblige my customers’ requests. However, after passing to both of them the brassieres, I grimaced and wondered if I should offer them alternative sizes. You see, the schoolgirl is tanned and skinny, and not too well endowed in the chest department. The fat lady, on the other hand, was too well endowed all over and would obviously have a case of over-spilling and what they term as “wrap dumpling”.Both customers headed to the dressing rooms on opposite ends. After about 5 minutes, I knocked on the schoolgirl’s door and asked if she needed assistance. She said hold on, and peeked out of the changing room. Looking at the straps fall off from one of her shoulders, she said, “I am always wearing 36B but this design seems a little loose on me. Can you help me take a look please?” I stepped in partially and saw what looked like an awkward teenager trying on her mother’s fancy red bra. “I always wear 36B, is the size tagged wrongly for this design?” With a hint of disbelief, I smiled politely and told her that the sizing was correct and asked if she wanted to be measured. She turned red and said “No, no, no! I AM a 36B!” as if protesting against my idea and slammed the door. They said it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, so I went a-knocking on the other lady’s door. She said, “Yes darling, I’m ok here! Come I show you!” and promptly opened the door. What greeted me were red bra straps peeking out beneath her white, translucent tank top and what seemed to be a strip of red cutting her extremely fleshy back into half, and her ample breasts half spilling out of her already low-cut tank top. Before I could make the same mistake of offering to measure her, she twirled a little in the tiny changing room and muttered, “I’m sure my boyfriend will like me in these! He always praised me for my perfect 36C figure!” I couldn’t bear to say anything more, smiled politely and told her how the bra made her figure look even more outstanding.Shortly, the plump lady came out of her changing room. Her head was held high enough. She strutted towards the cashier in her tiny hot pink high heels which could hardly support her colossal body, while she playfully swing the red colored bra in the air as she walked.Just right after the plump lady had left the shop. The young girl coincidentally came out of the changing room. Her body was slouched and her small bosom was now hidden in her JC T-shirt. It was obvious that she had been forcefully stripped off her initial confidence of her own assets. Her head was tucked towards her chin and her shifty eyes now gazed down towards the direction of the ground. The young girl’s left hand now grabbed tightly to the strap of her bag while her other hand holds on to the bra. She walked over to the bra section and threw the bra back at the rack with a slight sense of frustration.The red bra bounced and landed onto the rack with all of the other color bras. If it had emotion, it must have been relief and perhaps a slight hint of joy. It did not end up having a cruel fate of cupping air on the young girl body in its lifetime. The JC girl promptly rushed out of the store; displaying her athlete’s ability not just on tracks, but also in embarrassing situation like this.I chuckled to myself, thinking about what had just happened in the store. Wondering to myself how misguided sometimes people can get, for both the young girl and the fat lady, and that from time to time, everyone needs a reality check. Even if it be the hard and painful way.-- Backdated Halloween Pictures There's a song playing on Radio 1 that keeps singing the line "I like you so much more when you're naked" Strange.Found the camera cable and here're some of the pics from Halloween! November something something Earlier today my maiden purchases from F21.com arrived at my place. I was generally pleased with this batch of purchases, consisting of two tube dresses, one belt, one pair of fingerless arm warmers (totally frivolous purchase), a notebook, and finally, a watch. The other day, I expressed a hint of restlessness, when I realised that one after another, my watches' batteries have died in the span of 1 week. Not 1, 2 but 4 of them! It totally limited my choice of timepieces with my clothes and made me slightly unhappy, in a slightly worried sort of way, wondering why all my watches' batteries chose to die at around the same time. Was it supposed to be an omen of sorts!? To remind me that time can run out any time? Thank goodness, my mum has gotten em lives back with a change of batteries at the watch shop, and while I still had the new F21 watch on my wrist, I was pleasantly surprised when I looked down at it, and realised that the time on the watch was synchronized with our time here, 11:36! I wonder if it's a mere coincidence, for a watch to come so far from the States here to Singapore, only to find out that the time is the same. Or it could be 12 hours difference? Heh.This simple square thing with three needles running on my wrist makes me think about time. Everyday I am fighting for more time. More time for sleep, more time for running, more time to reflect, and more time to check things off my list. Although I get a bit exhausted at times, I think fighting for more time is better than watching time waste away...one day the battery in the self might stop running, and by then it'd have been too late to want to get wound up and going again. It's now November, and looking back at 2008, it's been a rather unsettling year for me. But that's ok. I still have two more months to go. Focus focus focus! I can do this, and 2008 will end with a bang, I'm sure. Hey ho, let's go! StandChart Run For Free promo Recently, I've managed to complete the Army Half Marathon, and therefore it was the big one to look forward to - The StandChart full marathon come year end!Having signed up during the early bird period, the banners at the various StandChart branches advertising a "Run For Free" Promo caught my eyes and so I signed up for one of their cards. Having received the card last week, I've started using it, only to realise tonight when I was trying to login to the e-banking site that I kind of missed out on the Run For Free $50 rebate!Therefore, I gave them a call, but the customer service officer attending to me could only ramble on about how she cannot help me because "I did not apply online", "It's only valid for the first 5,000 new customers", "Promotion is valid till 30th August" without hearing me out and listen to my version of the story, as it turned out later that she didn't exactly know how to handle my questions and had to turn to her colleague for help, putting me on hold without telling me to hold!Later, I was told once again that they couldn't help, and being exasperated at their level of service and competency, I had to 'provide' alternatives for myself by asking them if I could write in to check for my eligibility for the rebate. The second CSO also very helpfully told me that since I saw the banners at the branches, I should try my luck at there in person. So instead of solving my problem for me, they are asking me to solve it myself in person elsewhere!!!!It's not that I'm cheapskate or something, I'm pretty appalled. Appalled enough to write in to them and also to share my experience here. By the way, I did apply for the card online; the CSO didn't know if my sign up is past the 5,000 new customers mark, and I had to correct her by asking her, "Are you sure? I'm on your website right now and it says here that the promo runs till 30th September." Great experience I have dealing the first time with you, StandChart customer service peeps! Just gimme my $50 rebate damnit. Google is your best friend - 02/08/08 I despaired, when Tommy aka Ah Fat, the elder of my two cats at home peed on my bedsheets again, for the second time in a week (First time was Sunday when they locked him in my room the entire day, thanks to my brother's birthday lunch thingy with throngs of relatives and friends in the house)Therefore, I googled 'how to remove smell of cat pee' and got the following:Free recipe to clean & remove cat peeTurns out vinegar can mask the smell and cleaners with ammonia in it should be avoided as cat pee has ammonia in it already. I learnt something new today! The hard way, though. Thrown out the bolster last Sunday, now time to throw out the duvet. -_- Surviving the Morning After When I crawled into the office this morning, all I could think of was a flyer from Zouk I've received previously...Ahahaha how many of us have found ourselves in similar situations before?Thank goodness for 10am mornings and 2 hr lunch breaks, my eyes were blood shot and the right eye kept tearing...managed to catch a few winks during lunch :D. My body hates me for the punishing night out, but my mind just tells me pain is good, especially when the legs are aching from a run earlier in the evening, the balls of my feet are hurting from constant jumping around in heels and its really quite funny when I recalled nothing about the numerous pics taken with strangers, and also how I tried to reason with a stout angmoh bitch who pushed me, by telling her "hey take it easy man we are all here to have fun and see PVD", and got pushed again and poked in the chest (wtf) only to be stopped by Jess while i gave her the nehnehni booboo u cant do shit to me look while jess keh si and tried to tell the bouncer and then it sorta ended from there hahaha! Trips to Zouk are only now reserved for birthdays, special occassions and good djs. When Zhenyi told me earlier in the month that PVD was coming down on a Sunday, I was a little shocked but in the end said screw it lets go! So it was me, my jiejie Jess, vodka in mineral water bottles, mixers (choice is usually red bull for trance hohoho) and ice cubes lovingly tapaoed from the home freezer wrapped several times in plastic bags. We chatted a bit, giggled about 'clean boys' drank and then it was 11pm! Overall was a short but excellent set, crowd was great, vibes were fantastic and of course we took many pics and had loads of uplifting trancey moments with borrowed lightsticks and camera flashes :) Will post up a couple of pics when she is free to send them over. While I continue my autopilot mode here in the office, may I have permission to plug the following track again...Mindcircus - Way Out West.Give this track a try even if you are not a fan of trance music. PVD ended his set with it and brought absolute euphoria to all on the brave souls who came down that night and partied like there was no tomorrow :PI know I sure did. ;) Updates Sunday 13/7 - Keat Hong Chinese Orchestra is still good! Attended the concert at Esplanade with my brother after religious activities and decided that perhaps it would be good for him to play the cello once again. And that I should also get my pipa back from my friend.Monday 14/7 - Met up with Gynis at Holland V's Cafe 211. They serve really wonderful magaritas and my pasta was pretty yummy too. Nice ambience on the rooftop outdoors. Will definitely go back there again!Tuesday 15/7 - Watched Red Cliff at Vivo with Jenny, was lucky to have two empty seats on my left, so lifted up the arm rest and errr, kinda had a long seat (like I was at home on my sofa hehe). Guy at the end of the row saw and asked his friend, wah, how come she so cosy one? Apart from that, the show is fantastic! I'd give it 5/5 if they replaced Lin Chiling with that stiff acting and phoney accent. ANY Chinese actress could have done better than her. Wonder what she did to John Woo to get this role and a "Special Introduction" when open credits were rolling? Ah well. The rest of the cast were almost, well, cast to perfection, with Takeshi as the witty Zhuge Liang, Tony Leung as the pensive Zhou Yu and Chang Zhen as the young and inexperienced ruler of Wu. Watching the show was like watching the Chinese Lit content from my sec school texts come alive! A thoroughly enjoyable 2 + hrs, which felt shorter than it really was. Go catch it if you haven't! Strange but it works. I used to have a million thoughts running through my head, being unable to concentrate on a single thing at any time. But now, I make lists, follow them and they really help. I carry at least one, if not two notebooks around with me of the time, one filled with the daily to-do lists, while the other is filled with random things I want to do in the future. Slowly as I struck item by item off the list, I realised some of the items were acutally my goals! Some that remained on the list for a longer time would eventually get me thinking and to reflect if it is something I really wanted to do? i.e. "If you want it badly enough and have all the reasons to want to get it, you will" or if it was something I wasn't focused enough about. i.e. Too vague.Last night while lying in bed nursing my poor aching body (after a measly 9.6km for the Citi-Milk Run), I took out my notebook and started scribbling again. I couldn't stop; I had a million thoughts running through my head again, and finally when I knew I was done with the list, I went to bed with a smile on my face. Having friends and loved ones to celebrate my birthday over the weekend, with the champagne, liquor, mango cake, cheese cake, rashes the morning after, shopping, crab eating, participating in a zero cost charity run on Sunday and rewarding myself with a big bowl of claypot laksa after that. It was good lor. *ignores reading on weighing scale* When Jenny asked me if I remembered how I celebrated my birthday last year, I said no. I was a little confused when she mentioned certain details and asked if I spent it with so and so, receiving this and that gift. I could not recall at that moment, really, for all I could probably think of was heading to bed after the tiring run and heavy dinner, but I don't think it matters, since I know my birthdays have been good, and this year I realized I have not only grown older, but grown up, and a wiser. I like myself, like the way things are, and I reckon they can only get better. :)"Happy Birthday!" my loved ones tell me. And a very happy birthday I've had :DBig thank you to all with the well wishes and great company!P.S. Sorry, no pics from Friday, but I do have a pic of Jenny changing...into her socks and shoes. She even stripped on the bus! Into her running tights ;)and in case you need inspiration for your next visit to the 4D booth..Till my next post. Cheers! Today my horoscope says... Thursday, Jul 3rd, 2008 -- You may find it difficult to tell others what you need because you are afraid they won't understand. It's easy to think that if someone truly loves you, he or she should already know what you want, but this isn't necessarily the case. Muster up the courage and share your feelings, for you must do your part if you really expect true satisfaction.I didn't tell Jessica, Jenny or my brother what I wanted for my birthday. But by fussing over me and my celebration plans, telling me to just be present, to expect everything a birthday celebration to have...that makes me feel so loved :DWas feeling crappy yesterday, went for my favourite hot stone massage only to realise my usual/fav masseuer has gone back temporarily to China to care for her sick father; but managed to end off the night in a good mood last night, after I went for coffee alone and sat down to review my goals and plans.I think sometimes, it's very easy to lose sight of the big picture, of where you are going, when you get lost in your daily routine of work sleep work sleep rushing for appointments meetings activities and then weekends are spent running errands cleaning the house doing laundry etc. So, I resolute to have coffee and spend some me-time every fortnight, to review my goals and plans, so I'd always have time to stop and reflect, be on track, and ultimately, be happy~So some of my plans/goals look like this:1. To take up Japanese classes so I'd be able to converse with locals during my Tokyo trip with my family next year!2. To pick up a bit of French for the Europe trip next summer :P3. To challenge my personal limits and omplete the SCM this year in 4 hrs? 4.5 hrs? hahahahahhaha damnit I'm doing the Milk-Run this Sunday as a warm up and I have not been runnning AT ALL!!!!4. To ascend Mt. Kinabalu and do white water rafting in Oct!5. To embark on a spider/cricket eating Cambodia trip with Jessica some time later this year (She takes the spider, I take the cricket.)6. To take up elementary guitar classes later this month so I'd be able to read tabs and play simple songs and chords :)7. To maintain honest, resolute and pure faith by placing my religion as the center of my life and to practice assiduously so as to maintain a stable life condition, overcome the challenges and problems in life and achieve happiness. (Told u I'm a pious girl, didn't I? Pray first, party later.)8. To be a strong, focused, caring, confident and powerful woman who goes what she wants in life and gets them! (YES! I'm very serious about this point okkkk.)9. To find a partner with whom I have similar interests, who can be my best friend, put me in first place, bring out the best in me and basically love me and co-exist in me in harmony. (Well, actually the list is longer...like him having to be kind to animals, generous etc :P but I'm not being greedy/picky/unrealistic when I dare say I can give whatever I ask for lor!)10. To build a stable career in Marcom which allows me to contribute to the organization, challenge and stimulate me, and ultimately provide fulfillment and satisfaction, lah.11. To maintain my friendship with close-knitted group of friends and show appreciation to those around me who genuinely care for me and love me.12. To lead a life full of richness and take up all it has to offer, bringing joy and happiness to the ones around me.My 26th birthday is like a Personal New year to me, and I'm glad I had the time to think through and figure out what I want in the year ahead.It's 'New year's Eve' tomorrow! Work, Prayers, then Zouk ;)More updates soon. Good night! Sussing out the weeds. I need to drop my bad habits. Pronto. "I don't know what my passion is." How often do you hear people talking about a lack of passion?I myself was a lost soul, going about the daily grind without knowing what it was that made me tick…is work about doing the same stuff daily and looking forward to the pay cheque every month so I can go blow it on some frivolous purchase to buy temporary fulfillment and happiness? I think it is very common to find this lack of passion among people who are doing ok/well financially, but are seeking something for something more I their lives: Fulfillment - The feeling of doing something which can satisfy their soul apart from feeding their pockets… There was once a story of a writer who lost the ability to write. He loved it, was great at it, but just couldn’t do it anymore.He went to the beach for a day and just listened to the sea, felt the wind, wriggled his toes in the sand, did nothing except to focus on himself. His writing ability returned.It may be a simple example, but the message is clear.The point is, it is not about finding something to be passionate about that is “out there”. It is learning about what’s in there, what’s inside yourself, and how to tap into it. The process can take time, but the fact that you are self-aware enough to realize there’s something more – that there’s a gap between what you are now, and what would fulfill you, is a very good start!A lot of times, people look outside of themselves to find an answer, to be happy, but forget to look inside the most important area – within themselves. Learning to listen to that inner voice is the way to do it, and it helps to have an open mind and cultivate a “beginner’s mind”. Explore a different language, read new books, do yoga, type something random in Google, visit museums and exhibitions; you never know when the answer will come. Make an appointment with the most important person in your life today! Yourself. :PShit I’m sounding like a boring self-help chick now, but at least I know myself better already over the past few months hehe. Space filler This explains why I'm always up for a leisurely cup of afternoon coffee..hee ;)Update - Day 2 was great too, but I freakin overslept haha. Someone wanted to buy a pair of heels from me, so... I closed the auction for said buyer, who asked me to sms a certain number to arrange for meetup for the collection of the heels, as said buyer needed it for her upcoming wedding.I was selling a brand New pair of Pink Diamante heels, only reason of it being brand new because it was a size too big for me, and I bought it anyway simply because it was the last pair available in stores. Right...-_-Pretty Princessy isn't it?Now, the logic of buying shoes would be that, if it doesn't fit, don't buy it yea?So well perhaps my feet were swollen that day...or I thought that my feet would expand one size on certain days...Anyway, there was some irritation caused by the buyer, as there was no reply even after I smsed the given number three times. Later, when I gave the buyer a bad rating, buyer said no email was received from me;it was a misdunderstanding etc etc, so I allowed the buyer to bid again, and waited about 20 mins today at agreed meeting place and time, only to get a no show and no replies to my calls and smses! I was kinda pissed, and left, telling the buyer off over one last SMS for wasting my time, only to have many SMSes coming in an hour later, pleading with me to collect it from wherever I was.So the buyer came down to IMM and...it was a sheepish looking guy who kept darting his eyes while walking. When I asked him if he was collecting for his wife-to-be, he said no. Bewildered, I told him off for making me wait, and realised that all along, instead of a lady, I was dealing with a man instead! To confirm my suspicions...a positive rating just came in, saying 'Rating from Suh**me_Sh*hid*h:Buyer gives Good Seller rating.Comment:thanks for ur understanding, great seller recommend to all...the shoe was lovely and fit well :) (06/02/2008) (most recent)'I think I just sold my lovely pair of heels to a cross dresser. -_- 01/06/2008 It's half past seven on a Sunday, and I am now sitting in my pig-sty, wondering how to pack the twenty boxes of unworn shoes in a neat and obscure way, without having my mother come in and nag at me whenever I come home with more shopping.The 'Domestic Goddess' baking session at Grace's place did not materialise this afternoon, as...god forbid, something I never thought would happen, happened. The lady did not have an oven in her house, as its on loan to a friend (since two years ago). -_- Session is adjourned till next weekend instead.That aside, I'm blogging because I have a lot of ideas running through my head and that is making me very restless. I'd scribble something in a notebook, walk to the kitchen to check on the laundry, play with my cats on the way in the living room, and then I'd be standing in my room again, unsure of what to do next, because it seems like EVERYTHING needs to be done immediately. (So? Why are you here blogging, woman?)Maybe my thoughts will be a little more settled once I'm done with this entry ;)Anyway, I'm probably experiencing something of an adrenaline rush, because tomorrow marks a new chapter of my life as a working 20something year old. I should be feeling very happy actually, because it is a good company, a great industry to be working in, and more importantly, since in the past I never really knew what I wanted (and now that I do), I've gotten it. It's me. It's mine, and I'm good! In fact, I'm so good, I'm so in need of inspiration/motivation and a productive routine, I've just signed up for the Citi-Milkrun 2008...hehThis will be my first run of the year, a 9.6km one to get myself started..before I go on to the big one come December. Do click on the link and take a look if you're looking for something to motivate yourself to run (to keep fit, to lose weight, to do something different in 2008) and at the same time, contribute to a good cause. Registration is only $30, and all proceeds go to programs run for children and youth from less priviledged backgrounds. A little background of the charity:Beyond Social Services provide guidance, care, protection and resources that keep young people in school and out of trouble. Our programmes aim at developing them to value education, respect the law and grow into responsible adults who are capable of breaking out of the poverty cycle. In 2008, Beyond will reach more than 6000 children and youths, and close to 4000 care givers.Alternatively, you might want to donate here.That's about it for today. Gonna go clock some mileage round the neighbourhood in a bit and pick out an outfit for tomorrow. Wish me luck! Caricatures, anyone? Heh, I just signed meself up for a 4 session caricature workshop.My decision comes as a surprise, even to myself, as the last time I drew anything was in Secondary school, and drawing classes were but a memory of my childhood, as I got shooed off every Saturday, blurry eyed, to the nearby community center to draw and color in gardens, rabbits and houses.My doodling skills were further honed in JC, especially during boring Math lectures, allowing me to develop doodle characters, 'Supercat' and 'Randy Rabbit'. Sighting of Supercat - last seen on 9/9/06 on Crayon.Anyway, moving on from simplistic doodles, I would now like to draw more ahem, impressive stuff!Something like this?Or perhaps this?It could be a deja vu feeling of getting dried paint stuck in underneath my nail tips in school all over again, but thanks to Dr. Google and some technology, I can now practise on Artrage without getting all dirty and messy!Sample of work that can be created with Artrage.If you are interested in trying out Artrage to kill time constructively and do some self-expression at the same time, you can either download the trial version here or uhm, download the full version via Bit Torrent here.Don't ask me which version I am using lah, cannot tell you. :PI'll keep you posted on my creations once I have something decent looking. The caricature class starts only in July, so those will have to come later.Till then, have fun and have a fulfilling weekend! Cheers :) Absolutely droolsome - Nigella Lawson's Chocopots! I was aboslutely starving, hungry as a hippo after skipping dinner and was expecting myself to down a pot of Instant Gourment - Cup noodles at 11pm..until I spotted this video. Funny, when I went to the kitchen after the video, I was no longer hungry, and all I could think of was Chocopots. Heh. Doing the Singapore Dreaming with The Savages The above clip is that of a Singaporean production - Singapore Dreaming, shown in theatres a while back. I remember watching it and weeping a little during the show, cos it made me think about my mum who'd always make us liang teh (herbal drink) like the mother in the show. The movie covered scenes about the death of a parent too, and I related to my friend after the movie at Newton Circus then, that even though I am the eldest at home, I didn't feel like I was ready to take care of my parents because, seriously, when do you know that you're all grown up and ready? What happens one day, when your parents who took care of you, are unable to take care of themselves anymore? Do you drop everything, move back in with them to take care of them? A simpler solution most Singaporeans adopt would be to employ domestic helpers for their parents, especially those living alone. But what happens when the parent drives the helpers away, one after another? Are you gonna bring your parent home, or do you send them to a nursing home? Will you be labelled unfilial? Different circumstances call for different actions so my view is that it'd be too early to say anything, as much as one would like to fufill one's duties as a 'filial child'.To cut this short, I managed to catch The Savages last night and found it to be strangely funny and thought provoking. Do check it out! What differentiates a friend from an acquaintance? When does one become the other?I came across this question in Livejournal under Writer's Block and decided to explore a bit on the topic here.Seek and you shall find - I typed the word 'friend' inside the trusted Google box and plenty of answers popped up. For reference's sake, here are some of the search results:1. Literal meaning of friendWord History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amīcus "friend" and amō "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phileō "I love." Interesting isn't it? How many of us love our friends?2. From dictionary.coma) A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.b) A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.c) A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.d) A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. ----A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. - Straightforward pointA person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.They say, birds of the same feather flock together. Sometimes when you are particularly down due to various reasons, be it in your career or relationship, and someone turns up in your life with the same problem, they become your friend all of a sudden. That's because, despite people becoming seemingly more distant nowadays, everyone still seeks to be heard and for someone to understand them. Therefore, I've encountered people who became 'fast friends' with me because I happened to sit beside them and out of politeness, I listen. That's something about me, I do not just hear, I do not like to put on a front to PR and all, but I always like to listen, whenever I hear that the other party is hurt and badly needs someone to hear their story. However, the problem with fast friends is that, once they are out of their rut, they are out of your lives too, suddenly becoming a stranger. And then it suddenly hits you that you were made use of! That happened to me when I was younger, not knowing who to befriend and whom not to, thinking that as long as you are ok with hanging out with that person, they are well, your friend! With years of training however, I've learnt to filter out such potential fast friends already. People you know from the Internet/Clubs/Bars - Friends/Acquaintances ?Now that a lot of us are spending time on forums, facebook and MSN, it becomes really easy to make a 'friend'. However, I think one really needs to watch out whom they choose to spend their time with. When you spend your time online all the time whining and complaining about your lack of direction in life/studies/career, it is always easy to find 'friends' because many are lonely drifting existences who hates EVERYTHING like you too! Therefore, after having enough bitching online, you meet up, have a drink, a meal, and continue whining. It feels good but nothing gets done. I used to do that myself, meeting people who are so negative they suck the energy out of me. You thought you were supposed to feel better after meeting new friends, but it turns out that you feel even emptier after meeting them, because seriously, friendship takes time and effort to cultivate, and having something in common such as - a sad life, does not make you friends.Therefore, people I know online are my acquaintances, with a rare few who slowly develop into friends because they have proven themselves to be worthy of friendship.The same applies to people I know from the club. People you club with are not your friends - people who catch up with you outside of your drunken escapades and wild parties to know how you are doing, tell you things are gonna be ok and that they will support you...those you should hold on to.When does a friend turn into an acquaintance? M brother and I were discussing this question a couple of weeks ago, and the answer was - A friend turns into an acquaintance when you no longer like them. Friends becoming too petty, too negative, too whiny, too drama - every encounter with them becomes a traumatising experience so it's time to drop them. I've 'deleted' friends for the above reasons, just as a couple of friends have deleted me out of their lives. It may sound a little harsh to 'delete' people - but life is too short to have weeds growing around. I believe in quality and not quantity; knowing I have a handful of people to turn to in times of need is good enough. I treasure my small group of friends dearly, and do things to show my appreciation for their friendship. I do not care to be in the good books of many people, and say things they like to hear or agree with every single damn thing they say. So if they understand that you say something only because you have the best of their interest at heart and not feel offended - voila! You withstand a test of friendship and grow closer..but then again the opposite happens more often than not, which probably goes to show how 'strong' your friendship is in the first place. In short, friendship, like all relationships takes time and effort to cultivate. Someone whom you know does not make them a friend. Someone who shares stuff with you might also not be a friend. It takes time and stuff to happen, tests to see if they are worthy of this precious thing called friendship. When you get too caught up in your own world to care about what is happening in your friends' lives and suddenly realise you are all alone when you need them, too bad. They've become your acquaintance already - someone whom you know or used to know, because some people simply fade our from our lives when we don't notice it. Instead of asking why you have plenty of acquaintances and no friends, ask instead - Have you been a friend to someone else in the first place? :) High at up Loof :) Got called down for some tea (like, Long Island Tea) after my Friday prayers so...here we are, after the Lan Kwai Fong Fairy episode hehe :PLooking good, yea? :) 20goingon50 - For the want of a more mature wardrobe. Oh my gawd. Did I just use the word mature!?!?It turns out that, I am now verging on the wrong side of the 20s, meaning I'm like gonna hit the big 3-0 soooooooooooooooner than you can say stillsinglehowhuh. Heh.Some women are lucky, they have sisters and mothers to share their wardrobe with them so bursting wardrobes are all justifiable, with thongs and panties getting all mixed up. As for me, my wardrobe consisted of a lot of casual wear in the past, with most items in the category of short skirts (since I'm short), tank tops and tubes. I also tend to favor dresses, especially white and pink ones. Alas, as my friends can attest to my claim of not having clubbed for a long time already, it seemed like I have mellowed down since last year end (didn't even do the countdown in Zouk, was drinking beer at home instead)...so I've decided to clear out my wardrobe. Gone are the minis and tubes. Tanks I still keep some of them, and now r to play it safe, than to get attention for the wrong reasons such as getting mistakethey usually go along with my capris and an auntie Longchamp bag or some generic brown Mango bag (not into LV thank you very much) with sandals on weekends.I am completely convinced that gravity has started to act on my bits, so it is essential to cover up and HOLD THEM IN. My theory is, if you don't hold them up and in, it'd be too late before the some kid asks their mother if that cheh-cheh in front has an ass looking like papayas! (or something saggy, you know what I mean).Short stuff giving way to lengthier stuff aside, I have also given up 'slutty clothes' - note that I use inverted commas, because they are not slutty clothes per se, but it looks kinda slutty on me, so even though I've had them in posession (must be the inner slut screaming when I bought it), I've not exactly worn them out. An example would be this: Impulse purchase - For sluts with guts! Not me heh.Some other stuff I've cleared out include this:And this:Kinda sad to let go of these cute dresses but I need space for my ever expanding collection of black and white ensemble. BOOOOOORING I know, but safe yea. I'm the sort who was into funky floral prints in the past, but that had better go to weekends even if the workplace is funky I guess. Some are dolled up everyday, dressed so sharp they gave anyone who brushed past them cuts, while some wear berms. (because you are out seeing the supplier? Right...) So now, these are the new residents in my wardrobe:Love those little roses! My horrible ex-colleague commented that I looked like a zebra crossing in the dress on the left but I told him I feel like a thousand bucks swishing away in that Korean silk flare dress lor!With the almost 90% ensemble of blacks and whites, it MIGHT seem like I'm getting too stuffy for my own good, but I reckon I'd never go wrong with black and white from Blue Mondays to Terrible Thursdays. Better to play safe than to get mistaken as a pregnant woman or looking like you forgot to change out of your pajamas, right? Now playing it safe..hmmm that surely must be a trait of an old, I mean maturing woman.Anyway from clothes, we shall move on to more serious topics like, "The importance of saving money" in my upcoming series of '20goingon50 :Maturing woman' posts. :POh and hey, I've upgraded my white weekend dresses to something like this for dressier weekends ;)Country Road Chiffon Swirl Dress yay :) Some updates, as we approach May Everything is moving so fast and free that I haven't had the time to record it down at all. Well it IS fast and definitely free, depending on how you see it. I am captured by moments, this series of moments that have passed me by for the first quarter of 08. Having examined my life and direction during solo coffee sessions in December, I took action to get myself moving for the past few months. Things might not have turned out the way I might have liked them to, but I am never one to cling to the bad, and once again this made me realise that there is an eternal optimist in me. Things are changing, and they look promising, although I'm getting a wee bit impatient already now that this break is no longer relaxing, but verging on the edge of mundane and boring.Anyway, with reference to the earlier post, I have decided to swear off white babydoll dresses and grey cardigans for the time being, after looking at the pics taken during the trip. Call it bad camera angle or what, but it really seemed as though my abdomen was the most prominent part of my body in that ensemble, looking as if it was gonna precede my boobs into a room, not that they are of the shrinking violet kind. Those nice and ignornat Thai people who don't know me think I am pregnant, when it was a case of me letting myself go (a little) and committing a crime of Severly Unfortunate Fashion Choice. Haiz.However, I tell myself worry not! For I have once again embarked on my running and stairmaster regime, along with the usual strength training. It will not be one of those futile stabs at toning up, for I almost signed up for the Saucony Passion Run, lured by the 3 year FREE passion card membership. Signing up for a run and wanting to train are signs of improvement from the state of letting myself go, no? Seriously, I love eating too much to care about gaining weight, and I think girls should all have a bit of flesh and meat on them to fill out their beautiful clothes instead of relying on artificial and potentially embarassing inventions like the Magic Bra Pad!However, it does bother me when I look awkward, pudgy, and worse still, to look like a fraud - pregnant when I'm not! Speaking of looking bad, one thing that tickles me to no end is when I look at the pictures in my 'Practice' folder on my desktop. Thanks to some Dr. Google and video tutorials, I've managed to learn the techniques of making people lose weight 5 - 10kg, easy peasy! Of course, I am nowhere near Xiaxue's standard, but I do enjoy pressing the next arrow on my keyboard furiously, looking at the before and after pics one after another like it was an animation. (Very inane, I know. :P) In order to protect the identity of the victim, I mean, model used in my practice, I am not putting the pics up lah..And oh, an ex-classmate placed her wedding album pics up on Facebook, only to have several other classmates msg me to discuss how badly it was done. Considering how savvy people are with Photoshop nowadays, I've seen several gratis amateur wedding pic editing looking like a pro job. Guess that's why most of us were shocked at the poor standard delieverd by the studio they engaged.The optimist in me said, "Never mind lah, 10 years later take again lor!"The pragmatic side of me said, "Hong Gan leow!" Someone gave up her seat to me today When I got onto the Skytrain with Gyn and stood in the middle of the cabin, the girl sitting in front of me suddenly stood up, startled and offered me her seat!I looked at her expression in disbelief and told her "Oh nono! It's ok I don't need the seat". So she sat down her continued talking to her friend while reality sank in...I looked at Gynis and covered my face with my arm. Patting my tummy, I asked if she thought I was pregnant!? She laughed. Then I looked at the girl again and groaned. The lady seated beside her saw me and giggled. I hate Thailand. The girls are all slim, and maybe 2% of them are FAT. So if someone is slightly fleshy, means she pregnant la?!?!?! Ughhhhhhh.Can't blame their people for being so courteous though. For my last trip, the girl doing my pedicure glanced up at me, spoke some Thai to her colleague and then one of them patted my tummy lightly and asked in halting English, "Baby? Boy or Girl? :D"Ah well. Halp halp. I'm really tired and lonely and scared. I don't know what to do. Picture of the Day - Missed in Starbucks /Missing Starbucks Taken in some Starbucks in Causeway Bay because the emooooo feeling just hit me. Heehee. <3 Akan Datang The experiences from the last 5 days started to set in as I went for my AL Interview earlier.The awareness of my limitations and the visions of my future - everything I articulated sooooo clearly, because I've had thought them through and got em penned down.This time, the difference is that I am finally committed. And once again, like most of the new things I've attempted this year, it's a case of 'I don't know how to do it, but I know I'm gonna make it anyway'. My journey has started and it's gonna be one hell of a ride. It's terribly exciting to know that how wonderful the future looks, and all I can say is Wow.And it was pretty interesting - after being so buddybuddy with my course mates to know that many of them were directors and VPs of some not so small organisations. Guess with the high flying career big fat pay package and all, everyone is still the same at the end of the day. Sorta, especially when you've hugged like 50 people and having abt 1/3 of them sobbing away on your shoulders. Pretty crazy shit.Question is, how crazy am I willing to be to take the risk? Answer comes 27th December. p.s. sorry if this entry doesn;t make sense. It's not supposed to - coming from someone who's not had too much sleep for the past few days. :P Need to go for pedicure and color 10, not 8 toenails. It's 25th November 2007 today, and in 7 days time, I am gonna be attempting my next challenge, the SCM Half Marathon! Hee hee. The wonderful thing is, my gym membership ended since 1.5 months ago, so that's also about the period I stopped training. -_-Just clipped my toenails because I could feel them edging out of my toes already, which brings to mind what happened last year...I cannot recall exactly what time we were supposed to report for the 10km flagoff; think it was 7:30am, and due to the adrenaline the night before, I couldn't get to sleep. Wonderful isn't it, flag off at 7:30am - and when I sprung up from the bed, it was 7:30 EXACTLY. A sense of horror came over me, as I didn't know what to do; I had told the whole world, especially my Zouk kakis that I wasn't gonna join them then night before, because 'I am participating in SCM 10km leh, need to do something special to end off the year you know!' And then, this little voice inside me said, 'Aiya, SCM so many people participate, surely got old aunties and uncles join for the sake of the goodie bag and then walk all the way one la, no worries' Voila! That line worked! So I took my stuff, got out of the house and TOOK THE MRT DOWN TO CITY HALL.When I reached the MRT station, siao liao. There were people holding the SCM bag, looking like they have finished already!! So I told myself. no la, these people confirmed fast runners... Then I got to Esplanade area, and saw for myself 'that there were a lot of fast runners' - because it seemed like at least half the people who did the 10km have finished, I mean, it was like 9:15am already you know? :P Arghhh. Sometimes I don't know how the hell I developed such thick skin that day, because I went to deposit my bag, asked at least 3 people including the usher where the starting line was, because 'I am here for the 10km race', to which most of them responded in a shocked manner, 'I thought it is almost finishing already?' I'd give a sheepish grin and tell them I just got here really late but still want to run the race. Everyone of them were very positive upon hearing that and wished me luck for the run! So I happily started from the side of the ahem, finishing line (as there was no more starting line) all alone down to Shenton Way. I brought along my Ipod shuffle, but didn't use it - I told myself I wanted to experience the entire run in the most REAL manner. heehee.Slowly as I got to the 2km point, some road marshalls came up to me on their bikes to ask if I was 1. Running in the race 2. Feeling ok? Able to finish it? To which I had to repeat the lines which I repeated many more times later throughout the run 'Yes! I'm here for the run, just got here really late, thanks :)'Road marshalls still never mind, when I got a little tired and lazy and felt like walking, I saw a group of people at the first water point ahead of me. Most of them looked really bored and were entertaining themselves, because all the people, be it those running in the 10km, half or full marathon, have already gone past their water points...And then suddenly comes along a fat chick semi running and walking towards their water point. Wah lan eh. They figured I was running and started cheering for me! All 15 of them!!!!! I felt very paiseh to be caught walking when they cheered for me, so I quickly picked up my pace so I wouldn't look like such a slow and lazy slob. Nodded and smiled at them (sheepishly)as I got my drink and ran past their water point...Seriously I didn't have a chance to slow down after that, because ahead of me in pretty close proximity were all the water points, with all the cheering people, and also the road marshalls in their SUVs or bikes who kept checking on me...When I was at the 6 or 7km point, this CISCO road marshall came up to me and asked if I'm ok, and after I replied him, I thought he would go away like the rest of the road marshalls, but NO! He actually stayed on beside me, going at the slowest speed his bike could manage so as to go at the pace I was running!!!! After a bit, I got quite stressed by the idea of being escorted and said, 'Eh Abang. you don't stay beside me la can, I very stress like that you know'. He laughed and as we got past the PSA building, he spoke into his walkie-talkie - '10KM Race - Women's last runner 35065 going past PSA building now, over!' Wow, what an honour, first time participant, go down in history as last runner liao. -_-"After a bit, he left me, and I was all alone on the road again. 10km may mean nothing to season runners, but I have never trained nor ran such a long distance throughout my life, so it was really a challenge for me, as I started to talk to myself, repeating the words of 'Go, Cath, go. Go, Cath, go' and also imagined people like my friends and family, especially my younger brother cheering me on by the sides of the road, telling me not to give up.Apart from all the encouraging marshalls above, I had the last marshall come up to me in the form of a sports coach in his black SUV and loudhailer, telling me to run and not to walk. And in his words ' If I see you walking, I will take you off the road!' Fwao. I guess he knew that would work because I am a young person, not someone looking elderly or weak and sick. So his vehicle was following behind me for about 1km, after which he started blaring Cher's 'Strong enough' on his loudhailer. Yea I knew he meant for it to be motivational, but I was hoping that he would stop soon, because I didn't want to announce to the whole world that 10km's last runner 35065 was finally finishing so the people along the route can pack up and call it a day!!! -_-Thankfully, he did, and his vehicle came up beside me before leaving, where he told me to give it my best shot because he knows I can do it. Wah lao. I felt so touched when he said that can? So I said thank you for your encouragement with a big smile, and continued running towards the finishing line, which I knew was very near already because of the happy music playing from the padang. About 200m before the finishing line, I suddenly felt my right calf muscle cramping up, and felt like I was gonna fall. I quickly used my fist to hit it and continued to limp a little towards the finishing line. Upon finishing, I walked and walked, with my head hung low, and saw that most of the people finishing at the same time with me were those who did the half or full marathon. A rush of emotions came over me as I continued to cool down, and then when I couldn't take it, I sat down and cry! I don't know if it was from fatigue, from exhilaration, or from the fact that upon taking off my shoes (which I realised for the first time after owning them for so long, that they were tennis shoes, not running shoes. Diu.), there was bleeding at the back of my ankles from abrasion and also under my big toe and second toe on my right foot.So I finished the race, got my medal, my stuff, and limped all the way back to the MRT station. It was amazing how I finished the run, but I told myself surely I could do more next year, with training. And so, I am going to run my first Half Marathon next Sunday, crossing another personal milestone in my life. Wish me luck! :)P.S. I got all the correct running gear this year, so hopefully no more toenails dropping off, for I have my pedicure sessions to go to. :P Reflections - In retrospect, with thanks. Yesterday after an amazingly draining day at work - draining not because of work but because of something stupid and totally non-constructive - doing spin doctor work on the Internet, I got back to real life mode. Actually went down to one of the "Voices of the Heart" session in the pc.Sharali got us to share based on the Rs. To reflect and to make resolutions.So the ladies on the right side of the hall started sharing first and when it came to my turn, I came to think and realise that I've had a really fantastic year.Hmm where should I start?After the session last night and tonight's time spent with my colleagues, I cannot put to words how truly blessed I am. But I can only say thank you.1. My practice hasn't been very consistent, but I was lucky enough to be in the world of rapture, of happiness, on a certain high most of the time, as they pointed out to me.2. Ok firstly, earlier on in the year came the part where I didn't have to worry about school anymore. Not for the time being anyway. :)3. Then came the part of being accepted by my Pa. Long story but even though fathers do not know how to show their love, especially MCP Baba kind of dads, my dad's attitude towards me has changed, and from his little actions everyday, I can feel his love for all of us. The family hardly quarrels, we go out on Sunday for dinner together every week, my parents are still healthy and well together, holding hands to go grocery shopping, while my two younger brother whom I get along very well with are turning into bright young men, finishing their pre-u studies and heading for the army soon. Oh and we have two very cute cats, Tommy and Timmy at home. This humble house in Jurong West is not just a house, it's our home, and I'm always happy to come home to it and spend quality time with my family.4. Then came the very important part - getting this job in my current company. As I approach the 9 month mark, I'm proud to say that I've been doing a pretty good job in my position so far. It started out a little rocky, I was bumping and learning along the way and really challenged me self to stretch my limits when the learning curve became steep - i.e. having to juggle all the jobs of all the different divisions, running around a lot like a headless chicken, kenna bully by vendors, screwups here and there along the way - but my bosses were patient, and my colleagues were helpful and it has made coming to work a breeze. Apart from being helpful, they are also genuinely nice people who are open and hold no grudges. There is no backstabbing - And if some of them hate your way of wrking they'll tell u in the face; and if they know that you need help, they wouldn't hesitate to go all out to help. Just so you will be able to get through the day.Well of course I have some bad days - I complaint, I whine, I beat myself up and think if I am good enough, if I will live up to the expectations of myself or my boss. But the truth is, I have had good talks about this and learnt to accept my flaws and to grow from there. Because my environment accepts me and wants me to grow. So I will grow, learn and contribute as much as I can on this job. It's really amazing to be part of this family of passionate people and I am truly grateful for everything. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.5. At the same time, I have great relationships with the people who are special to me. Learning to take care of myself first has allowed me to care more for them too. 100%when it's called for, no more no less.Sometimes people lament and ask, why is my life in this state? Why xxxx, why yyyy? Well why? Maybe because they do not know what they want in life. I.e. 'This is not the life I ordered! Why are you serving me this!' 'Sorry sire, but you did not order for something specific, you ordered 'anything'. I used to be like that.However, I am really lucky to have met people and come in touch with resources allowing me to specifically zoom into my life goals and get me thinking about what I want. So yes, I am proud to say I spent a good solid couple of hours earlier penning down my goals while downing a can of Kilkenny. I merely verbalised them previously when I was asked what the 3 biggest goals of mine were, but penning it down made all the difference; I had to review the current situation, analyse my feelings and thoughts about it and lastly visualise. Some visualisations were absolutely crazy, and I kept muttering to myself about how crazy it was, it seemed a little unreal at times but I knew that was what I wanted to happen. I do not want to lead a mediocre life where I look back and realised I have acheieved nothing. Average is for everyone else. I am crazy because I have my big fat hairy dreams, I know what I want and I am heading there, right on track. Everyone and everything in my environment is supporting me.And this, is why I say I am truly blessed. Hihihihi Necessary Narcissism is backkk Hiao so post pics la okiessss :PWas attending colleague's wedding dinner last Saturday.So this is me post-wedding dinner heehee.Pardon the messy hair.I look old, don't I. Sighhhh. A girl can never have too many dresses. Or bags. Or shoes. :P Been clearing my wardrobe, so need to update it with new stuff la!Bought a dress or two this week, one of them being this: Heehee. <3 Dusting off the cobwebs Hello to my fatreduced blog once again!It's been a while since I updated, so thought I'd pen and share something again.Was bored with my previous layout, which weirdly screwed up and turning out ugly and all, thus I tried to install a new blogskin. However, still got some kinks to iron out, so I'll stick with this for the time being.The week started off queasy, wasn't too happy with myself even though the fires at work have died off. Guess the queasy feeling was due to a few factors, one being my colleague, Colleague A, who infringed on my 'circle of closeness' when she sent me SMSes over the weekend asking to talk to me, go through the registration for the Asiaworks course with me, and basically telling me that "she cares for me and has a vision of me" OMGWTFBBQ!!!I'm really nice and all at work, the girl who'd never say no to you if you request for some help, but helloooooo me being nice doesn't mean that you can try to cross the line, tell me that I should become more xxxxx at work blablabal and worse still, try to impose your vision of me ON ME.Then on Monday, she'd SMS me and email me to ask me to speak to her even though she's just sitting a few seats away. Of course, i didn't reply.Talk about being freaked out. Gee.Then again, when I mentioned this episode to another colleague, he asked if it showed something about me when I said that Colleague A has infringed on my circle of closeness. So I replied, "Yea, I don't like people to get too close to me."Do I have an issue with closeness? Does it affect the relationships I have with the people around me?Hmmm.Anyway I told Colleague A how I felt after much hesitation; so we managed to clear things up and its all good now.Speaking of good things, I am really blessed to have great bosses and wonderful colleagues who genuinely cares for me. During midweek, I managed to have an open talk with several senior colleagues over drinks and they gave me feedback on my work, and told me that I needed to work on managing my time and learning to prioritise my daily to-do list. Got commended on my quality of work even though I'm a little ditzy at times. :POk that's about it for now, shall go book my air ticket before I head to slumber land. More (backdated) updates tomorrow!