BondingOne month ago, I went on a 3 nights trip to Bali with my fellow dragonboat team mates. Few months back, when I wanted to start planning for this trip, I had suggested Australia. It could be due to my previous experience, but I luuvvv Australia. I love the courtesy, the open cafes, the sunshine during winter, the autumn breeze, etc etc. Somehow, it went out of the girls' budget (apparently $2k is too much money to spend on a trip. wtf?!) and they decided that we should go Bali instead. I have been to Bali, but it wasn't the most pleasant trip then. The person I went with was kind of dissatisfied with just my company and was commenting the whole time, "I wish our friends are here." So you can guess I didn't like Bali very much. I rejected the Bali idea but finally succumbed to their whining and pestering. And I would say, that it was a great decision made. The Bali trip was supposed to be a trip for 4, stay in a nice villa, where we just lay on the beach chairs by the private pool, get massages, manicures and pedicures, DVD watching, etc. It was meant to be a true R & R trip. As the news spread, many more got interested in the trip, and we ended up going in a group of 9. It was like back to the good, old school days where life is a lot more carefree. This trip turned out to be one of the best trips I ever had. We had fun from the airport to the plane, joked and laughed our way through Indonesian custom clearance, oohs and aahs at the beautiful villa with 4 bedrooms and a private pool, made fun of the guys who had to share beds with each other, admire the girls' collection of bikinis, soaked in a giant tub together, rafted through a pretty long stretch of treacherous river, surfed till sunburnt with abrasions on the knees (I was the clever one who opted out of surfing =P), got our massages and finally did all kinds of stupid stunts in the pool. As I get older, a lot of fun that came from friends being all crazy and imaginative, kind of died down. Most people just matured, and didn't talk or behave the way they used to. More than once (I think), i have blogged about how friends seemed to have changed, and the conversational topics just aren't as interesting anymore. It depressed me a little, but i reckoned that had to do with the growing up. It is something I have to accept.Now, I hang out with a bunch of 20+ to 30 year olds, and they still talked about being attached or single, their passions, their wanting to try many things, financial planning for retirement while also planning the next trip, etc etc. They dont talk so much about children (except other people's children), public vs private housing, CPF, etc etc. They talked about events going around the globe and not just in their homes. They talked about business strategies not restricted by international boundaries. They seemed to have this zest for life, which I so adore. I had actually found new friends, whom I had gotten pretty close to, from dragon boating. It's something that I had never expected. Because of our passion for the sport, we spent a lot of time talking about how we can get better at it. It's built a bond for us so strong, that I'm pretty certain even if I were to leave the team for whatever reasons, the friendship is here to stay. =) Strange DreamI had a dream the other night that I was pregnant and was going into labour. But my tummy was still very small and it didn't seem possible that a full-grown baby was inside me. I was already in the hospital then, looking for a nurse and there appeared none in sight.Suddenly, one nurse approached me and said she would help me deliver and take care of me thereafter, but I must pay her. Somehow in my dreams, I wouldn't usually question strange things, as they appeared to be normal then. I think I hired the said nurse.But what I remembered most from the dream, were the thoughts that were going through my mind. I was wondering if I had quit smoking at all, and if I hadn't, would my baby turn out to be a freak or born with down syndrome or something. And it really bothered me then. Everytime someone asked me, what I would do if I get pregnant since im a smoker, and i would reply i believe in the greatness of a mother's love. Should I get pregnant, no matter how heavy a smoker I am, I would stop smoking right away, for the baby's sake. Thus, the confusion in my dream. Then, i went into labour and true enough, a full grown baby came out of me. It was a boy.I had always hope my first kid would be a boy. So that I can teach him to love his younger siblings and not bully them, the way I was bullied when I was young.Anyway, just for the record, I'm not pregnant. And won't be for a while. I have too many things to doOur dragon boat Captain decided to pursue his career elsewhere and has tendered his resignation. His duties of "bao sua bao hai" have been passed down to me. On one hand, I love the challenge of motivating the team and helping to build the strength of the team, numbers wise. On the other hand, I think I will be very, very tired this year. A number of oncoming projects (work wise) are heading my way. Meanwhile, i am still doing a lot of meddling with people's lives like introducing single girlfriends to single (or divorced) boyfriends, forcing people to lose weight cos they're really fat (and single), telling people they should get insurance in case they get hit by cars driven by mad drivers, etc. I am also very proud to say, from Nov till now, I have lost 4 kilos, 2 inches and 5% fat percentage. And I'm going for more =)Wish me luck! Another departureA team mate announced yesterday that he has tendered his resignation and is now serving his three-months notice.We are not particularly close, even having been in the same team for a year.But strangely, I invited him to lunch with me and another team team (who is not that close to him as well) today.Maybe it is knowing that he is leaving, that I'd want to spend more time with him.Sometimes it's kinda strange that people takes people around them, especially those they see everyday, for granted, that only when someone is about to leave them, that they start to treasure the time they have together.By people, I mean me, of course.On another note, the boss seems to suggest that we would not be replacing another headcount. Which means more work for us. So my quiet time would be over in another 3 months time. I hope I don't become a perpetually angry person again. What the fuckI renewed my season parking late by 4 days this month, and was met with a rude online message, stating the carpark where my car was allocated a lot, is full, and I have to park at the neighbouring carpark. One of the carparks the website suggested was a good two bus stops away.What the fuck?!I refused to adhere and was given a parking ticket the next day.And the next day.And the next day.So i sent an appeal online and am now waiting for someone's reply.Do we really have that many cars around? Are Singaporeans really so affluent these days, that we actually have to fight for carpark space in our own blocks?One of these days, the HDB will decide they want to privatize the parking facilities and we will end up bidding for a lot.And that will totally suck. Because we know Singaporeans are rich and crazy, and they will pay a lot of money and do a lot of stupid things for the things they want. Like queueing outside LV. Let GoA dear old friend just returned from down under, and a few of us met up for coffee.I realised then, that it has been really long, since it was just us. No spouses or partners. Just the gang that used to get together to hang out at void decks, coffeeshops, or over at Ogre's home playing mahjong.For a while, I have been wondering if there will be times again when us friends just hang out, without the partners. I think the partners are fine; but your friends never behave quite the way they are when their partners are around (no matter how they argued they always behave in the exact same manner even with the spouses around).With almost all my friends already settled down, I guess there will really come a time when I have to bid goodbye to the once funny acts that never failed to make me laugh.Maybe I am quite reluctant to let it go, that's why I have been making new, single and young friends from work and DB.Maybe it's time to move on. Mountain out of mole hillI sent an email to a counterpart in Australia this morning asking for some clarifications and that person forwarded my mail to someone else sitting in my office, 2 aisles from me. If I could get my answer from the someone else, I would just walk over to his table. Why would I bother to send the email to someone who is on a 3-hour time difference, only to have her forward the email to someone whom i can get to within seconds?Somehow, a clarification that I asked ballooned into something bigger and "someone else" walked over to one of my teammates and began discussing the issue with him. After their discussion, teammate walked over and appeared quite pissed. He told me that if I want any clarification on such matters, I should go to him first.I had no idea what discussion went on. I asked 2 very simple questions, because Australia wasn't clear in her email.Teammate is a guy in his fifties, who had just moved from USA. He's the other smoker in this office (yeah, 2 out of 80+ people), and we usually get along just fine. I didn't understand the "confrontation", but thought if I run into him during one of the smoking breaks, I could clarify. Just to be sure, I consulted my team lead on my email and whether it was unclear or could have led to any misunderstanding."No, your email is very clear."So I went down to have my smoke and thought I'll clarify with him after he has cooled down. When I returned, I saw team lead at teammate's table and they were obviously discussing the issue earlier.Went back to table and continue my work. Team lead then came back to her desk and drop me a message via MSN."I'm sorry I went ahead to ask XX about this, but I really cannot tahan not asking him about this."Thanks, and now, I feel like a baby. Who has to go crying to mother whenever she is bullied because she cannot stand up for herself.Teammate came over to apologise for snapping at me but he was really pissed that he got thrown a pile of bloody spreadsheet with all the wrong data and just when he's trying to clear things up, people started asking questions on why he is not updating the spreadsheet with accurate information. The truth is, I feel bad for him. It's like he's got this load of shit thrown on him because someone else doesn't want to do this shit and this is not what he signed up for in the first place."If i had known I'd be doing this, I wouldn't have taken this job."And he was right. That spreadsheet is rubbish and because our global leaders had lost the fight against other teams on the accountability of maintaining this spreadsheet, the people at the bottom gotta take the shit.I figured all this out while I was taking my smoke, and I wasn't sore or anything. And I meant to explain to him that I wasn't questioning the integrity of the data, just wanted some clarification. It was like, "is it 1, or 2?" kind of clarification (which could have been answered by Australia). Yet, my team lead had to beat me to it.Not the first time I was treated like a baby.At what point, do I tell said team lead that I can very well stand up for myself? She's trying very hard to "protect" her team, but in the process of doing so, undermine the fact that we are all adults here and can very well settle our problem.I wonder if this is because she thinks I can't handle it. But I can. I really can.Oh well. Women!I am sorry to say this, but women can sometimes, be such bad drivers.Firstly, there was an auntie who banged my car from the back a few months back. It was along Paya Lebar Road where there is a perpetual jam. The cars were moving oh-so-slowly, and she still found the opportunity to bang me. What the hell. She must lack banging in her life. NB.Then, there was this woman who doesn't check her rear view mirror before she reversed to park, and nearly hit my car, which was coming from behind. I mean, i saw that she was waiting for a lot. So i swopped beside to pass her, before she started her vertical parking. She didn't bother to check her mirrors and started backing into the lot when I was right beside her. She saw me only when her car was into the lot and she looked shocked. Yeah, you stupid bitch. You should have looked into your mirrors and ensure the path is clear before the reverse. What are you? A retard? I encountered some stupid questions from my female broker at work today. Why people can ask such damb-ass questions is really beyond me.I'm sorry, but why do the women I met always appear to be more stupid than the men I've met? UpdatesOn the night before my birthday, I met up with a poly friend for dinner. I have been very busy these days, and rarely find the chance to ask her out for coffee, an activity that we engaged in heavily in the past. She met me at my office lobby, and from the back, I almost couldn't recognised her. She seemed to have lost quite a bit of weight, although she was still kinda chubby. During the dinner, I commented that she seemed to have lost a bit of weight, somewhat excitedly. After all, losing weight has always been a compliment. To which she smiled sadly, and said "Why wouldn't I?"I found out from her that she had gotten pregnant (I didn't even know she was seeing someone), but she terminated it prematurely. Apparently, she was involved with a guy whom anyone would deem as an asshole. But she chose to be stupid (as she claimed) and still got involved with him anyway. As she had expected, when she smsed him to inform him of her pregnancy, he did not reply. Not at all surprising since he hardly contacted her anyway. But she didn't get the usual morning sickness so by the time she found out, she was already 9 weeks into the pregnancy. She considered a lot of options but decided to terminate the pregnancy finally. Her news really hit me badly. I was feeling relatively down the next day, especially when I thought how I hadn't been there for her. She said everything happened too quickly, and she didn't have the chance to come to me. Fortunately, she had a friend who stayed with her the whole time. I really want to spend more time with the people I love. I may not have enough time to ratio it well, but I will try. =========================Went zouk for mambo last week. It was a farewell for one of the dragonboaters and for the purpose of bringing another there for the first time. The thing I can't understand is, why do the "mambo zoukers" now all dance with some kind of hand gesture for every single word in every single song? I mean, who the hell did they think they were explaining the song to? And who the fuck gives a damn? It's still good music though, although I stayed off the long island tea this time (I was knocked out before midnight the last time I went mambo which was last year). =========================My best friend finally got married to her boyfriend of 9 years. I was truly happy for her. Tried my best to assist her in anything that she needs help in and was kept busy and running about during the day (and night). As usual, we had some fun during the gate-crashing in the morning, but her boyfriend (now husband) is really a nice and gentle guy, so we went easy on the challenges. The video highlights did not do justice to the fun we had in the morning though. In a nutshell, the editor had extracted only a very short and mild version of what went on the morning. I had painstakingly printed out pictures and had everything laid out properly so that it's easier for the editor, which was unfortunately, not utilized. I hadn't been trained, although I have done about 5 weddings for my friends. Even I can do a better job. Oh, and I just want to comment that the Ogres' got a super cute daughter. ===========================I am up at 1am typing this post because I'm in the midst of reading my work mails and transferring the read mails to the server's folders. Argh. Back to work tomorrow. I enjoy my work, but I'm not sure if this is really what I wanna do. What would I do without her? I remember when I was young, I was a sickly child. One time, I came down with fever and was left at home with my young auntie to take care of me. I remember lying down on a mattress laid on the floor, staring through the door as my mom instructing my auntie on how to take care of me. Then she waved bye bye and left through the main door.Since young, I have been a somewhat wilful kid. I never like to have my mom take me home from school so whenever school ended, and I don't see my mom at the gate waiting for me, I would feel very happy. I simply loved the idea of walking home by myself and would sulk when I met my mom halfway. Somehow, I just didn't want my mom with me, as I wanted badly to be a grown-up who didn't need to stick to her mother. However, during the times when I was ill, I would become this little girl who wanted her mommy with her all the time. So when my mom left for work that day, I started sobbing and kicking up a fuss. My young aunt was helpless and she childed me for being so naughty. A few days ago, I woke up feeling extremely dizzy. In fact, I couldn't even stand up. So I went back to bed. Then my mom called my mobile to ask about something which I no longer remember now. I only remember mumbling something and told her I was ill. My mom asked me if I wanted her to come over. I said no. After all, I am a big girl now; I can take care of myself. After a while when I thought I was feeling better, I tried getting up again, and stumbled my way into the toilet to wash up. But I ended up vomiting and somehow found my way back to bed where I fell asleep again. At the point, I was feeling kinda lost and was wondering if I should call my mom. At that point, my mom called me again and asked me again if I wanted her to come over. She offered to buy some food for me. Food was the last thing on my mind, and I knew even if she was here, there was no way I could make it to the clinic with her because I was simply feeling so dizzy that I could not get out of bed. But I still wanted her here. I felt like I was back to this little girl, even after 20 years, who wanted her mom with her. Not all the time, but just there and then, I really wanted her by my side. So my mom showed up (thank god I had give her a duplicate set of keys so I didn't have to get up to open the door) and she served me a plate of chee cheong fun while I ate in bed. I found out later that she was already cooking porridge for me and that chee cheong fun was meant for herself. But she gave me the chee cheong fun because I wanted to eat straight away to prevent the gastric pain from kicking in. My mom couldn't stop how the dizziness but I did feel better after she arrived. Strangely, I somehow felt better while she was fussing over me. So I realised no matter who grown-up I am, there would still be days when I wish my mom could be by my side. It doesn't matter what she would be doing, just as long as she is here. p.s. I am not pregnant. http://dailynews.sina.com/gb/news/int/kwongwah/20090518/0347272430.htmlNot everyone can manage their studies, regardless of what schools they go to. Unfortunately, the deceased wasn't very strong in his studies prior to poly, and I guess the pressure of projects and struggling so hard just to pass finally caved in. It really is a pain to lose him at this age. To quote my uncle, "I've had this son for twenty years.... and now he's gone, just like that." Jia Wei and I have almost never spoken to each other so I cannot understand why he did what he did. But I hope he is finally at peace with himself now. Rest in peace, cousin. The Era of the 1980sI have been wanting to blog about this for quite some time already but never found the time to.A couple of friends and I met up for dinner and we sat talking about life, people and mostly work. A similarity that we all encounter, is the young people who had just graduated and started work, for the first time, probably. The attitude of these young ones really amazes me.Like some of the ones that I ran into at work, these young people are idealistic and ambitious. Some, very ambitous. But what I can't get is, how can these people expect to climb up the corporate ladder, earn big fat salaries, when they don't even want to get their hands dirty?My best friend started out in the audit line at a big audit firm. She worked days and nights at her work. She said, during her first year, she spent the most of her time in front of the photocopy machine. It was the job of the first years, to photocopy the documents and keep the records for the seniors and managers for their use. When she was promoted to senior, she worked non-stop, finishing work only at 11plus at night. Once, she stayed over at her client's place and worked till 7plus in the morning. Such are the harsh conditions she was exposed to, before she can get to where she is today.I have heard from a number of people, that, when they tell the new joiners to photocopy documents, they would be asked, in a most self-important manner, "Why should I do this?"There is this other group of 1980s that are overly idealistic.They breeze through life, going into colleges, hanging out with friends, making enough money to spend for their daily wants, etc. Then, all of a sudden, they decide to do something different, finding a new path of life. They drop whatever they're doing, forfeiting all the money that their parents or family have spent on them, and decide to just pursue their new found direction.I couldn't understand why these young ones are behaving like that. So different from the way people in my era behaved.Then my friend brought up, "it's because our families, in one time or another, have been poor. These people born in the 1908s, have parents who are more less enough money to sustain their daily needs and material wants. They can do whatever they want, not needing to make money to support their parents."And she's right.Must we all go through poverty before we can realise the value of money?Must we all go through hardship before we realise that success doesn't come easy?Must we actually see how our parents slog, before we realise how hard they work, to give us the life that we have?I can't help but wonder how is the next generation going to turn out. We live in an era of computer games, aircon rooms, Nike shoes, LV bags, etc. The more we want to pamper our children with the finer things of life, the less they'll understand they have to get their hands dirty to achieve success in life. The more we want to satisfy their wants because we want our children happy, the less they'll understand they have to work to fulfil their needs.Right now, I'm only glad I don't have kids. Because I really have no idea how to bring them up. So i'd better start planning now, just so i'll be ready when the time comes. The Bubble TeaIt's that time of the year again, where we would go clean up the tombs of the late loved ones, and bring them lots of food and "money". The Mandai columbarium was filled with people, joss papers and joss sticks, food, smoke and ashes. I pretty dread going there over the weekends for Qing Ming. You had to queue like an hour plus before you can get your car parked. It's smoky and hot, with little children running about, people talking loudly ... I was thinking if I want to be put in here for some eternal peace and quiet, I certainly wouldn't be getting any for at least a few times of the year. During such events, it involves quite a fair bit of waiting. During these times, I would roam about the place, looking at the stone tablets of the deceased. It usually captures my attention if I see a particular young picture. I was reminded of one time, when I was there offering prayers to my father, it was a very quiet day. The niche opposite my dad's was recently "occupied". There were some offerings on the floor, but there wasn't much food. What caught my eye was a plastic cup with a colour straw. It was a cup of bubble tea.My eyes shifted to the stone tablet to which the offerings were left for. The picture was a young boy, and upon calculation of the date of birth and death, the deceased was a twelve year old. This led to my recollection some time ago when I was there, I saw this pair of young parents, who were looking at the stone tablet sadly. The woman was wiping her tears.No doubt the parents of the deceased would be heartbroken. But how much do we know about their pain? I kept wondering, did the boy die of a long disease, or was it an accident? No matter what caused the death, this pain would shadow the parents for the rest of their lives. I have never been a parent. So it really makes me wonder how can the parents of the deceased ever get over the death of their child? I only hope that, one day, should i have kids of my own, I would pass on before they do. Why bother them? If you have been involved in traditional Chinese funerals (and by traditional, I mean those kinds where it involves some chanting or burning of stuff), you know there are certain procedures to follow.1) The extended version of chanting by some monks on the last night of the funeral2) The praying and food offering on the 7th day of the dead3) The praying and food offering on the 100th day of the deadI have been involved in a number of funerals these couple of years (evidence that while I hate the fact that I'm aging, many others are dying (so I should be more thankful that I'm still alive)). Somehow these rituals all involved in the shouting of "HUAT AH!!" at the end of the procession.My question is, why are we shouting for "Big Money!!" when someone has died?Do we really believe that the ancestors, or the deceased, would bless the remaining (living) family members with "Big Money Luck"?Why are people still expecting the deceased to do something for them? If they're dead and assuming there is after-life, shouldn't the deceased be, well, enjoying themselves already? Shouldn't death be a form of retirement, for good?Looking at the way some family members have turned out, I used to tell myself that I have lousy ancestors. They do not bless their descendants to turn out to be good or rich people. But as I get older, I realised:1) The ancestors are not gods; they can't change human behavior. Hell, perhaps even gods can't do that2) The ancestors, if they do exist, are not obliged to give their descendants good fortune even if they can (I can imagine if I'm already dead, and my children are asking me to bless them with lady luck for the Toto and 4D, I would be thinking, "Man! I can't catch a break!")3) Money needs to be earned, in whatever ways you adopt. There shouldn't be any shortcut.I have been a Buddhist all my life (at least, that's what I think). All these years, whenever I pray, I pray for my family to be safe and studies/work to go on smoothly (except when I was very young, and I lost my wallet once, I prayed for my wallet to be returned to me, and i really got it back =)).As I get older, praying becomes a form of remembering the deceased. I do not think of my father every day; only occassionally. On the days that praying is involved, I would think more of him. I do not ask for good fortune or money; rather, I would tell him what my life is like now. And I always end off with, "if you're around and listening to this, pls look out for your son, who still needs a lot of guidance in life."Anyway, to conclude, it just doesn't make sense, to me, to be asking the deceased for more money. You should be shouting "HUAT AH!!" to living people only instead.Happy CNY, people. And it makes more sense, during this coming festive season, for me to say the following ...HUAT AH!!! Why do Mercedes Benz drivers have to be such ASSHOLES?Why do they change lanes without signaling?Why must they flash other drivers on the right lane? Why do they assume other drivers will give way when they change lane without signaling?Why must they tailgate every car on the road? Why do they assume they can behave like complete assholes? Why are all of them fucking ugly? Because the men have fucking small dicks, and the women fucking small breasts, so they want to take it out on everyone else.Because they are members of the Scumbag Club and thus, behave as such.Because they want attention on their car instead of their fucking ugly faces.Because they are brought up to be idiots.Because all of them have gonorrhea.Because they want to join their friends in hell. Life goes onSorry for the lack of updates, but I've been real busy.Anyway, I know the F1 fever is over, but because I want to brag that I was there, FREE OF CHARGE, I'm still gonna post the pictures anyway. There's a limitation to my bragging though, cos I only got the ticket for Saturday. Compliments of Da Company. Yeap, if you enlarge the picture ... You can see I had gotten a seat at the PIT Grandstand =DWhich also meant, I was opposite the paddock. Pretty cool, eh? I managed to snap this pic after it just came out from a corner. Otherwise, it's almost impossible to catch them. They're so damn fast. See what I meant?It really was quite an experience, given this was the first time I'm seeing a race live for the first time. The moment you hear the engines, you already start feeling excited, even though you may not see the cars whizzing by yet. The noise was deafening, and ear plugs are an absolute must.Anyway, I was too excited about being there, and I'd much rather spend more time soaked in the energetic atmosphere than just taking pictures, so that's all the pics that I have.On a totally different subject, I just want to share the picture of a sunset taken from my hotel room when I went for the company retreat in August in Penang. The view is absolutely mesmerizing.Must stay at the Shangri-La resort when you visit PenangAlso, I only realised on the trip that Changi Airport now has a sunflower garden =)Okay. Need to sleep now. Will blog again. Another one bites the dustSo another one of us got married. He is the second last of the guys. We're expecting one more next year, and this group would be done getting hitched.I was asked to do the video for the wedding, and I certainly hope I didn't let them down. Well, even if I did, too bad for them, since they got an amateur to do it. Heh.I have been helper/sister/videographer for quite a number of weddings. So much that I've lost count. Can no longer remember how many times I have done the 酸甜苦辣 games. Even though this "tradition" is getting really old, it's still pretty fun. I can imagine you guys who are reading this, arguing that it's only fun for the girls, but not the guys.Come on! In spite of whatever you have to go through, you still had fun, didn't you? How do we find laughter on the video if you guys don't make a fool of yourselves??? =DI would like to compliment the groom of the latest wedding, for being pretty spontaneous and didn't lose his cool. Although he did try to find excuses to get out of doing tasks that were lined up for him, and failed miserably. Then, an annoying relative of the bride who came late and insisted rather aggressively that she be let into the house immediately, saved the groom from more challenging tasks. Although the groom was actually very eager to perform the task of singing. We almost had to shut him up (which happened during the banquet as well!).This group of friends is very unique. I hang out more with the guys cos they stay nearer to me and more importantly, they bothered to stay in touch. Some years ago, before they started getting hitched, I thought to myself that I would feel really left out on their wedding days cos unless I'm asked to be one of the sisters by the bride, I wouldn't be invited to join in the day events.One of the guys broke the tradition last year, and asked me, a female, to join the 兄弟帮. I can't even begin to describe how happy I was. Anyway, I mentioned this to another buddy who thought it was a unique idea and he did the same. This was a really good deal for me since I get to join in the fun but didn't have to eat or drink any weird stuff, or dance around like a monkey. I hid under the cover of being the videographer. Oh, to digress a little, given my extensive experience in weddings, most men can't dance to save their lives. Really.Anyway, with just one more wedding to go, I certainly hope I'll still be involved. Crossing my fingers. Will be attending the wedding of another good friend from poly this weekend. Even though we never failed to bicker when we see each other, and I frequently wish to sit on him, he's still a fantastic pal whom I truly respect. Will be just attending as guest for the dinner, although I had offered to be the MC for the night which he forcefully declined for fear of having to make a fool of himself during game time. That wuss. I hope he falls while walking down the aisle.Heh =p Who would you choose?I posted a question to a male friend the other day, and he took a real long time to finally give me an answer. Reason being, he, like many other males out there, would like to have his cake and eat it (although I know I've heard a saying which goes, "what's the point of the having the cake if you can't eat it?!").Question (for those with dicks only):If you have, if you really have to, would you rather pick a girl who is super hot (like Jessica Alba hot) but doesn't really give a good blowjob, or you pick a girl who is only so-so looking (like Renee Zellweger, as opposed to Jessica Alba) but gives the best blowjob in the world?Who would you choose??Now, I don't want to hear (read) rubbish stuff like how you can "train" the hot looking one (I mean you, ogre) or make the so-so looking one go for some cosmetic surgery or something ... You can only pick one, and pretend it's a for life kind of thing.So, would it besexy Jessica?orRenee?p.s. I think Jessica Alba looks so hot in that picture. heh. What the fuck!My company wants to promote me but doesn't want to give me the rightful compensation. Fuck them!!They intend to give me a double promotion but is offering only a single pay upgrade. I hate all those dumb shit they say about some stupid formula calculation. Should I give a fuck about how you actually want to exploit your employees? You should draw the cost of paying some assholes sitting in the office, doing nothing, gossiping or just trying to act busy, and pass their pay to me. I do their shit. What the hell. Good workers don't get paid well. Which is why, im fucking lowly paid. I wish I am an asshole who only sucks up to the big boss (no pun intended) and get recognised for buying her coffee and running her stupid errands. But I can't, because I am not an asshole. I have one, but I am not one. And I fucking have pride, unlike the dumbasses in the company.Push my button and I'm gonna just dump all these shit on you, you stupid pricks. I'll reject your promotion, show you my middle finger, and just drop the godamn letter on your super clean table (becos you have no shit to pick off). And becos I know im a fantastic worker, I have no problem finding another job out there. So give me my rightful dues, you jackasses. Super Mom I was at my mom's place for dinner the other day. We were standing, and chatting halfway, but out of the blue, my mom blurted out, "These damn cockroaches!"With that, she stamped her bare foot onto the nasty creature crawling across the floor. I don't fear cockroaches, but no way will I allow skin contact with those filthy crawlies. I look at my mom in a different light now =) My TimeUsually, mornings are the time that I have entirely to myself. If i drive to work, I'll blast the music and sing out loud to wake myself up. Or, i'll just put on the radio and think about things that I don't tell others about.If I take the train, it's about the only time I have to read. I never read much during my growing days, and I do wish to make up for lost time. I'll put on my earplugs, listen to selected MP3s and catch up on the books that I don't get to read very often. When I'm at home, there is always housework to do. So much that I don't get to sit down quietly and just read the books that I bought. In this manner, I do quite enjoy taking public transport.However, there have been times when I ran into people that I know on the train or on the bus. It's fine if it's a fellow colleague or a friend whom I'm pretty close to. We would end up chatting (or gossiping) on the way to work.I do feel quite annoyed though, when I meet people whom i'm not particularly close to, or interested in. There is this obligatory small talk that you have to make, and frequently, there is always this silence in between that makes the situation awkward. If it's someone that I just nod to, that's fine. I'm talking about those whom you've seen walking around in the office, those you meet in the toilets, and the people whom you make small talk with at the office gantry (where you wish the coffee machine would work faster so you could just get out of that area).I don't enjoy small talks with people that I have no dealings or interest in. Especially so when they're management staff. I just want to get back to my MP3 and my book. It would, however, seem rude if I just mutter a "hi" and turn back into my book. Somehow, people I ran into would go more than just a "good morning" or "hi, I didn't know you take this train". They would start engaging in small talk, which seemed like the only polite thing to do.I do wonder though, during the midst of the obligatory chatting, if they feel the same way that I do."Why don't she just get back to her book, and we can stop chatting?""Gosh, I wish the bus would come so that we don't need to have this obligatory chat."Would it seem weird, if I were to ask these people, "would you rather I get back to my book?"?Somehow, my colleagues are all custom-made with small talk abilities or they're just born talkative. They always seemed only too glad to have someone to talk to while on their way to work. Maybe because I don't wish to be misunderstood as being rude, so I may have portrayed the same form of enthusiasm?On days like this, I wish I drive. In my little world, where I can sing out loud, sneak a little "nap" at traffic junctions, cry when I think of things that pained me, or laugh as I reminisced through happy events. The only drawback is, of course, I'll never get to finish that book. Things that pay offTips for the guys1) Always kiss the ears and neck gently. 2) Run your fingers through her hair. Smell her hair. 3) Wet her lips with your tongue. 4) Massage her. 5) Stroke her inner thighs. 6) Squeeze her butt. 7) Put her middle finger into your mouth and twirl your tongue around it. The feeling is damn hard to describe, but it's goooood. 8) You know, after sex, when lying next to each other, you should run your fingers along her body. It feels damn good, like a post play. Not just arousing good, but just comfy good. Works as foreplay as well. Picture Time!Decided to share some pics from my earlier trip. A little late but better than never .. This is a picture of the Oaks Lagoon we stayed in. It's damn nice and relaxing .... and it looks exactly like what I saw on their website. The rainforest habitat ... This pic doesn't do justice to the actual environment they have created for the animals ... Check out the baby in the mommy's pouch! Sleeping Koala ... what's new? They sleep the whole damn day. And I thought this Koala looks pretty ugly actually. Shouldn't the nose be black colour??? A blown-up of a small part of the Great Barrier Reef ... It's fascinating to have the fish swim around you while you're snorkelling ... I didn't do scuba diving cos it was too freaking expensive!! I love this pic! This was taken from our hotel ... The shadow at the corner is due to the flash on the glass pane, not some supernatural being ... I think my camera is fantastic. Heh. I couldn't get a good pic of the apostles cos it was really foggy that day ... at least, I get to see for myself part of the (12) Apostles before they erode completely ... Lord Arch Gorge along the Great Ocean Road. The view is absolutely mesmerizing!! another one .... and another one ... beautiful, isn't it? After watching "Finding Nemo", I became most amused by seagulls (rather than crown fish). So much that I decided to take pictures of them just standing around on the roads (as if they own it). Back to the city .... this is a picture of the court house located in Melbourne city. This is LaTrobe University located in the city. Super cool to study inside such a beautiful building located right in the heart of the city man ... Spencer Street station at night ... Yarra River is located right behind this station.A cathedral I think Melbourne is such a fantastic place. They have so many things located right in the city. Man, I would give anything to live there ... Can't wait to go back to Aussie again!! More time? Please?Hi. I am back.I am down for 2 reasons:Firstly, my holiday is over. So shitty work life begins again. Hell, everybody has to go through this so even though it sucks big time, i still get on with it.I would love to blog about my trip, show you all the beautiful pictures of the great ocean road, the melbourne city at night, the amazing great barrier reef .... but im just not in the mood now.A good friend of mine just confirmed that he has cancer. Brain cancer.1 month ago, he had undergone an operation to remove a tumour in his head. It was bringing him frequent headaches, and the inability to recognize words. It was only until one day, when the headache caused him to paralyze, that he was taken to the hospital for a brain scan.They remove the damn thing, about 9cm long and 4cm wide from his head. There were even cysts growing on the tumour.When I visited him at the hospital, I was teasing him that he might not be able to play mahjong anymore. He and his GF knew that I was going to Australia for a holiday and they both wanted to join. I was more than glad to have their company. They're both great people. Really.I also observed that he had a ring on his fourth finger, and he admitted and they had gotten registered just a month ago, after Chinese New Year."Wah lau! So secretive ah?"And I was truly happy for them.These 2 have been one of the most unaffectionate couples I have ever met. But on that day, when I bade them both goodbye at the hospital, I saw them held hands in front of us, for the first time.I was touched. Really. A week later, friend told me he wouldn't be able to join in the trip as he had to undergo chemotherapy. The tumour was cancerous."But the tumour's removed. So he should be fine, right?" Or so, I thought.Was on MSN with him, and he told me that he's undergoing chemo and radiation treatment now. I didn't realise the seriousness (probably because I refuse to believe he could be this ill at this age) until he told me, the statistics of similar patients living into the 2nd year after being diagnosed ... is 25%. No one, in Singapore, has lived more than 4 years.I shed a tear.I got to know said friend when I first went over to Brisbane to study. He became my housemate. After the other 2 housemates moved out, I stuck with him in the same house and we both sublet the other rooms, making us the main tenants of the nice, old Queenslander.We had a lot of fun playing mahjong, pool, and I described him to my other friends, as the housemate who eats a mountain of rice. Which he did. But he never gained weight. At that time, friend was already on medication. I didn't know what he was suffering from, juz that, if he didn't take his full medication every day, he would get into fits.It was also in Aussie land that he met his current wife.A couple years passed, and even after graduation, we still kept in touch. Mostly for mahjong. He was one of my faithful mahjong khaki. And always will be.He is coming 29 this year.I really wish there is something I can do for him. TimeOur sex-god finally decided to come back from London for a visit. The meet up was arranged last minute but everyone turned up. Including Sian. Gosh, I thought he had drowned or something. The thing about this group of friends is the amount of laughter I have whenever I'm out with them. It's like we never graduated from poly. Even though it's been ten years. As I go through life, I have found many friends (I use "found" because I think you have to go out to find that person and make the effort to keep him/her as your friend). Age changes the way we behave and the topics we talk about whenever we're out together. Many friends change after they get married. Houses, cars, loans, investments and children are the most common topics. These friends no longer value friends the same way. It's not a bad thing; family is, ultimately, one of the most important thing in life. I would say, that almost all my friends are leaning towards such a culture. On certain days, I do feel sad that my friends are no longer they way they were. Some do not even behave the same way because they had to be better behaved when their spouses are around. Many no longer ask me out for late night coffee chats. And when they do, their spouses HAVE to be there. I guess it's part of the journey of life to go through this. The most fun and playful times of my life may possibly be over. My friends have moved on, and perhaps it's time that I do. However, meeting up with my poly friends have always been this entertaining and inspiring. They make me feel young and carefree again. Seeing the changes in my other groups of friends, I sometimes get afraid that this particular group of friends will steer towards the same direction as the others. It may happen one of these days ... I'm just hoping it won't be soon. Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy my times with them ... Or I'll just go out and find younger friends. Heh. p.s. Even though I tried to threaten Sian to start blogging again, he indicated that he has been very busy (wanking) and somehow, the inspiration to blog is exiting. I get a feeling he may close down his blog altogether. But don't be sad, because he does have another blog which he may reveal in future. So stay tuned. tHE pERFORMANCE rEVIEWEvery year there is the performance appraisal that people dread ... or love.It's the time when you bullshit your boss with all your "triumphs" and turn your weaknesses into strengths. I quite enjoy this actually, cos I love making myself look damn good in my job. Heh. Not that I am not, but i welcome praises and compliments anytime. Fyi, I have always been getting good reviews with all my bosses so far and I plan to stay this way.Problem-solving and decision makingOh, I am fantastic at this. To resolve the problem of being stuck in traffic jams every morning for 40 min, I made the conscious decision of sleeping in till 8am, then getting out of the house only at 8.50am. Instead of spending 50min per trip, I now spend only 35min getting to the office. Which means, I save 15min everyday. Never mind the fact that i am late for work by 1hr 45min.Understanding BusinessI understand that our business is doing so well ... that almost everyone in the office (globally) got an iPod Touch or iPod Nano ... except me and the rest dealing with this particular group of products that we deal with. Reason being, the money should be put to better use like investing in the opening of a new plant thus generating more jobs for us so that we'll become so important that we're irreplaceable to Da Company.Coaching and DevelopmentI tried to develop my colleague's social skills by bringing them to Zouk, getting high and playing guessing games. Not that I succeeded, but I've tried nonetheless.Openness to ChangeInstead of ordering the usual lunch box for lunch meetings, I ordered Subway instead.Interpersonal sensitivityI don't make fun of fat or ugly people in my team. Only the fat and ugly ones.=D A present for meDespite several hints that I've dropped on my blog, there has been no generous friends who are willing to sponsor me a digital cam. You stingy asses.Haiz.People really gotta depend on themselves for the things that they want. Fortunately for me, I won a little something at the lucky draw during the Dinner & Dance last week. No, I didn't win the camera, but I got a wine cellar which I managed to exchange for a digital camera. Of course, I top up with another 120 bucks which is still a pretty good deal. So I got myself a handy little Pentax. I know Pentax is like some old brand,but the difference between the pics taken by the Pentax and the Casio or the Canon, for that matter, is really great. Oh, I forgot to mention my motivation for the digital cam is my upcoming trip to the land down under. This trip will take place in April and I'll be sharing lotsa pics of Cairns and Melbourne on this blog after my trip. I shall secretly try to take some pics of babes that I see on the beaches, so stay tuned. And to tommy, I dunno what is up with Sibeh Sian. He has MIA for a long time. Maybe finally trampled to death by people he has irritated. Heh. ZZZzzz....Every once a month, I have to go down to our plant for a meeting. The attendees consist of twenty (or more) other men, and usually I am the only female present (there is this other female whom the males pay no attention to). The meeting usually starts after lunch and can be unbelievably boring sometimes ... In times like this, it's really hard to keep my eyes opened. Therefore, to keep myself awake, I allow my mind to wander aimlessly ... Well, not aimlessly. Frequently, I think of sex ... I know it doesn't make me sound good (which I am), but really, thinking of sex can keep you awake. Of course, it can make you incredibly horny as well but given I don't have body parts that reflect my emotion, i guess it's not that bad for me. Heh. Random and Horoscopes(Updated: Addition of Rabbit)I meant to put up a post about the fantastic concert I went to (refer to previous post), but decided against it. Most people I know who reads this blog don't really care much about Jay Chou. Too bad for them.There has been nothing interesting to blog about in my recent life. It has been most routine. I don't know how much more I can put up with this.On the good side, I may be flying to the land down under in March, although i heard that Queensland is now 2/3 flooded during to the heavy rains.It's crazy, you know? It's freaking summer in Aussie land now .... supposed to be about 40 degrees during the day, and dry like the desert but instead it's heavy rains and thunderstorms. The world is so changing. I wonder if we'll ever get snow here.Meanwhile, have a wonderful Chinese New Year. ===================================I decided to add another topic to this post on horoscopes, given that it's the New Year and most people check their animal horoscope in one way or another. Here goes:RatLife will be good for you. Rats are sneaky and disgusting and if you're as disgusting, you'll probably make it good. Make full use of this year for all your evil deeds because next year, you'll be trampled by the ox.OxYou have to slog and slog. What to do? You're born to labour all your life. On the plus side, you may die this year, bringing you the sweet release of death.TigerNot a good year for the tiger because the cats and rats can't stand each other. This year, the rat will get its revenge on you and make you suffer good. Be afraid and paranoid most of the times, because, those freaky things that you imagine will happen to you, WILL happen to you.DragonNo change as compared to last year. The dragon doesn't care about rats and vice versa. Life will be as usual. That is, if it's good, then it'll remain good and vice versa.RabbitIf you realise, the rabbit and the rat look similar, except the tail. Due to this reason, it'll be a bad year for the rabbits, because of the increase in demand for rabbit stew. Which mean, most of the time, you'll get yourself in hot soup which you can't get out of. Better stay at home all the time.SnakeExcellent year for the snakes. Snakes love eating rats and this year, you'll do much better than the rats. So find the chance to sabotage a rat now and you'll earn that promotion that you've always wanted.HorseThe rats are not too happy at being trampled by these animals often. Better watch out. It's the year for freak accidents.GoatGenerally, the rats and the goats have nothing in common, but goats are meant to be slaughtered so that we can have lamb chops, so you will continue to be bullied in all aspects of your life.DogThose born in the year of dogs will do good this year. Because just like the rats, you don't really like the cats and that makes you allies with the rats. So learn to be more scheming and you will excel.ChickenChickens and rats tend to fight in the barnyard for grains (because rats eat everything) and being an enemy of the rats mean your life will be hell. Be more paranoid and superstitious; it'll help.PigDoesn't matter as pigs never do well. They are only good for pork chops. YES!!! (Updated)After a long period of bidding on yahoo and ebay auctions, I finally got hold of a pair of Jay Chou's concert tickets. But surprisingly, I did not get them through the auctions. I just happened to stumble (again) into the sistic website and it turned out that there were available tickets on certain categories. And they were pretty good seats. Think someone up there likes me, and is so touched by my determination and sincerity. Heh. I know; I am damn lucky =)And to you people who bought the concert tickets through sistic for the sake of auctioning them off, shame on you. Those tickets are meant for people who are really interested in going for the concert, not for your bloody profiteering. I hope your finger nails rot and drop off, from spending the money you profited through the auctions, you greedy sons of bitches. Updated:I sold off my original pair of tickets at the cost price cos I got my hands on another pair which offers better seats, albeit more expensive. I'll be 2 rows from the stage!! =D