Super Mom I was at my mom's place for dinner the other day. We were standing, and chatting halfway, but out of the blue, my mom blurted out, "These damn cockroaches!"With that, she stamped her bare foot onto the nasty creature crawling across the floor. I don't fear cockroaches, but no way will I allow skin contact with those filthy crawlies. I look at my mom in a different light now =) My TimeUsually, mornings are the time that I have entirely to myself. If i drive to work, I'll blast the music and sing out loud to wake myself up. Or, i'll just put on the radio and think about things that I don't tell others about.If I take the train, it's about the only time I have to read. I never read much during my growing days, and I do wish to make up for lost time. I'll put on my earplugs, listen to selected MP3s and catch up on the books that I don't get to read very often. When I'm at home, there is always housework to do. So much that I don't get to sit down quietly and just read the books that I bought. In this manner, I do quite enjoy taking public transport.However, there have been times when I ran into people that I know on the train or on the bus. It's fine if it's a fellow colleague or a friend whom I'm pretty close to. We would end up chatting (or gossiping) on the way to work.I do feel quite annoyed though, when I meet people whom i'm not particularly close to, or interested in. There is this obligatory small talk that you have to make, and frequently, there is always this silence in between that makes the situation awkward. If it's someone that I just nod to, that's fine. I'm talking about those whom you've seen walking around in the office, those you meet in the toilets, and the people whom you make small talk with at the office gantry (where you wish the coffee machine would work faster so you could just get out of that area).I don't enjoy small talks with people that I have no dealings or interest in. Especially so when they're management staff. I just want to get back to my MP3 and my book. It would, however, seem rude if I just mutter a "hi" and turn back into my book. Somehow, people I ran into would go more than just a "good morning" or "hi, I didn't know you take this train". They would start engaging in small talk, which seemed like the only polite thing to do.I do wonder though, during the midst of the obligatory chatting, if they feel the same way that I do."Why don't she just get back to her book, and we can stop chatting?""Gosh, I wish the bus would come so that we don't need to have this obligatory chat."Would it seem weird, if I were to ask these people, "would you rather I get back to my book?"?Somehow, my colleagues are all custom-made with small talk abilities or they're just born talkative. They always seemed only too glad to have someone to talk to while on their way to work. Maybe because I don't wish to be misunderstood as being rude, so I may have portrayed the same form of enthusiasm?On days like this, I wish I drive. In my little world, where I can sing out loud, sneak a little "nap" at traffic junctions, cry when I think of things that pained me, or laugh as I reminisced through happy events. The only drawback is, of course, I'll never get to finish that book. Things that pay offTips for the guys1) Always kiss the ears and neck gently. 2) Run your fingers through her hair. Smell her hair. 3) Wet her lips with your tongue. 4) Massage her. 5) Stroke her inner thighs. 6) Squeeze her butt. 7) Put her middle finger into your mouth and twirl your tongue around it. The feeling is damn hard to describe, but it's goooood. 8) You know, after sex, when lying next to each other, you should run your fingers along her body. It feels damn good, like a post play. Not just arousing good, but just comfy good. Works as foreplay as well. Picture Time!Decided to share some pics from my earlier trip. A little late but better than never .. This is a picture of the Oaks Lagoon we stayed in. It's damn nice and relaxing .... and it looks exactly like what I saw on their website. The rainforest habitat ... This pic doesn't do justice to the actual environment they have created for the animals ... Check out the baby in the mommy's pouch! Sleeping Koala ... what's new? They sleep the whole damn day. And I thought this Koala looks pretty ugly actually. Shouldn't the nose be black colour??? A blown-up of a small part of the Great Barrier Reef ... It's fascinating to have the fish swim around you while you're snorkelling ... I didn't do scuba diving cos it was too freaking expensive!! I love this pic! This was taken from our hotel ... The shadow at the corner is due to the flash on the glass pane, not some supernatural being ... I think my camera is fantastic. Heh. I couldn't get a good pic of the apostles cos it was really foggy that day ... at least, I get to see for myself part of the (12) Apostles before they erode completely ... Lord Arch Gorge along the Great Ocean Road. The view is absolutely mesmerizing!! another one .... and another one ... beautiful, isn't it? After watching "Finding Nemo", I became most amused by seagulls (rather than crown fish). So much that I decided to take pictures of them just standing around on the roads (as if they own it). Back to the city .... this is a picture of the court house located in Melbourne city. This is LaTrobe University located in the city. Super cool to study inside such a beautiful building located right in the heart of the city man ... Spencer Street station at night ... Yarra River is located right behind this station.A cathedral I think Melbourne is such a fantastic place. They have so many things located right in the city. Man, I would give anything to live there ... Can't wait to go back to Aussie again!! More time? Please?Hi. I am back.I am down for 2 reasons:Firstly, my holiday is over. So shitty work life begins again. Hell, everybody has to go through this so even though it sucks big time, i still get on with it.I would love to blog about my trip, show you all the beautiful pictures of the great ocean road, the melbourne city at night, the amazing great barrier reef .... but im just not in the mood now.A good friend of mine just confirmed that he has cancer. Brain cancer.1 month ago, he had undergone an operation to remove a tumour in his head. It was bringing him frequent headaches, and the inability to recognize words. It was only until one day, when the headache caused him to paralyze, that he was taken to the hospital for a brain scan.They remove the damn thing, about 9cm long and 4cm wide from his head. There were even cysts growing on the tumour.When I visited him at the hospital, I was teasing him that he might not be able to play mahjong anymore. He and his GF knew that I was going to Australia for a holiday and they both wanted to join. I was more than glad to have their company. They're both great people. Really.I also observed that he had a ring on his fourth finger, and he admitted and they had gotten registered just a month ago, after Chinese New Year."Wah lau! So secretive ah?"And I was truly happy for them.These 2 have been one of the most unaffectionate couples I have ever met. But on that day, when I bade them both goodbye at the hospital, I saw them held hands in front of us, for the first time.I was touched. Really. A week later, friend told me he wouldn't be able to join in the trip as he had to undergo chemotherapy. The tumour was cancerous."But the tumour's removed. So he should be fine, right?" Or so, I thought.Was on MSN with him, and he told me that he's undergoing chemo and radiation treatment now. I didn't realise the seriousness (probably because I refuse to believe he could be this ill at this age) until he told me, the statistics of similar patients living into the 2nd year after being diagnosed ... is 25%. No one, in Singapore, has lived more than 4 years.I shed a tear.I got to know said friend when I first went over to Brisbane to study. He became my housemate. After the other 2 housemates moved out, I stuck with him in the same house and we both sublet the other rooms, making us the main tenants of the nice, old Queenslander.We had a lot of fun playing mahjong, pool, and I described him to my other friends, as the housemate who eats a mountain of rice. Which he did. But he never gained weight. At that time, friend was already on medication. I didn't know what he was suffering from, juz that, if he didn't take his full medication every day, he would get into fits.It was also in Aussie land that he met his current wife.A couple years passed, and even after graduation, we still kept in touch. Mostly for mahjong. He was one of my faithful mahjong khaki. And always will be.He is coming 29 this year.I really wish there is something I can do for him. TimeOur sex-god finally decided to come back from London for a visit. The meet up was arranged last minute but everyone turned up. Including Sian. Gosh, I thought he had drowned or something. The thing about this group of friends is the amount of laughter I have whenever I'm out with them. It's like we never graduated from poly. Even though it's been ten years. As I go through life, I have found many friends (I use "found" because I think you have to go out to find that person and make the effort to keep him/her as your friend). Age changes the way we behave and the topics we talk about whenever we're out together. Many friends change after they get married. Houses, cars, loans, investments and children are the most common topics. These friends no longer value friends the same way. It's not a bad thing; family is, ultimately, one of the most important thing in life. I would say, that almost all my friends are leaning towards such a culture. On certain days, I do feel sad that my friends are no longer they way they were. Some do not even behave the same way because they had to be better behaved when their spouses are around. Many no longer ask me out for late night coffee chats. And when they do, their spouses HAVE to be there. I guess it's part of the journey of life to go through this. The most fun and playful times of my life may possibly be over. My friends have moved on, and perhaps it's time that I do. However, meeting up with my poly friends have always been this entertaining and inspiring. They make me feel young and carefree again. Seeing the changes in my other groups of friends, I sometimes get afraid that this particular group of friends will steer towards the same direction as the others. It may happen one of these days ... I'm just hoping it won't be soon. Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy my times with them ... Or I'll just go out and find younger friends. Heh. p.s. Even though I tried to threaten Sian to start blogging again, he indicated that he has been very busy (wanking) and somehow, the inspiration to blog is exiting. I get a feeling he may close down his blog altogether. But don't be sad, because he does have another blog which he may reveal in future. So stay tuned. tHE pERFORMANCE rEVIEWEvery year there is the performance appraisal that people dread ... or love.It's the time when you bullshit your boss with all your "triumphs" and turn your weaknesses into strengths. I quite enjoy this actually, cos I love making myself look damn good in my job. Heh. Not that I am not, but i welcome praises and compliments anytime. Fyi, I have always been getting good reviews with all my bosses so far and I plan to stay this way.Problem-solving and decision makingOh, I am fantastic at this. To resolve the problem of being stuck in traffic jams every morning for 40 min, I made the conscious decision of sleeping in till 8am, then getting out of the house only at 8.50am. Instead of spending 50min per trip, I now spend only 35min getting to the office. Which means, I save 15min everyday. Never mind the fact that i am late for work by 1hr 45min.Understanding BusinessI understand that our business is doing so well ... that almost everyone in the office (globally) got an iPod Touch or iPod Nano ... except me and the rest dealing with this particular group of products that we deal with. Reason being, the money should be put to better use like investing in the opening of a new plant thus generating more jobs for us so that we'll become so important that we're irreplaceable to Da Company.Coaching and DevelopmentI tried to develop my colleague's social skills by bringing them to Zouk, getting high and playing guessing games. Not that I succeeded, but I've tried nonetheless.Openness to ChangeInstead of ordering the usual lunch box for lunch meetings, I ordered Subway instead.Interpersonal sensitivityI don't make fun of fat or ugly people in my team. Only the fat and ugly ones.=D A present for meDespite several hints that I've dropped on my blog, there has been no generous friends who are willing to sponsor me a digital cam. You stingy asses.Haiz.People really gotta depend on themselves for the things that they want. Fortunately for me, I won a little something at the lucky draw during the Dinner & Dance last week. No, I didn't win the camera, but I got a wine cellar which I managed to exchange for a digital camera. Of course, I top up with another 120 bucks which is still a pretty good deal. So I got myself a handy little Pentax. I know Pentax is like some old brand,but the difference between the pics taken by the Pentax and the Casio or the Canon, for that matter, is really great. Oh, I forgot to mention my motivation for the digital cam is my upcoming trip to the land down under. This trip will take place in April and I'll be sharing lotsa pics of Cairns and Melbourne on this blog after my trip. I shall secretly try to take some pics of babes that I see on the beaches, so stay tuned. And to tommy, I dunno what is up with Sibeh Sian. He has MIA for a long time. Maybe finally trampled to death by people he has irritated. Heh. ZZZzzz....Every once a month, I have to go down to our plant for a meeting. The attendees consist of twenty (or more) other men, and usually I am the only female present (there is this other female whom the males pay no attention to). The meeting usually starts after lunch and can be unbelievably boring sometimes ... In times like this, it's really hard to keep my eyes opened. Therefore, to keep myself awake, I allow my mind to wander aimlessly ... Well, not aimlessly. Frequently, I think of sex ... I know it doesn't make me sound good (which I am), but really, thinking of sex can keep you awake. Of course, it can make you incredibly horny as well but given I don't have body parts that reflect my emotion, i guess it's not that bad for me. Heh. Random and Horoscopes(Updated: Addition of Rabbit)I meant to put up a post about the fantastic concert I went to (refer to previous post), but decided against it. Most people I know who reads this blog don't really care much about Jay Chou. Too bad for them.There has been nothing interesting to blog about in my recent life. It has been most routine. I don't know how much more I can put up with this.On the good side, I may be flying to the land down under in March, although i heard that Queensland is now 2/3 flooded during to the heavy rains.It's crazy, you know? It's freaking summer in Aussie land now .... supposed to be about 40 degrees during the day, and dry like the desert but instead it's heavy rains and thunderstorms. The world is so changing. I wonder if we'll ever get snow here.Meanwhile, have a wonderful Chinese New Year. ===================================I decided to add another topic to this post on horoscopes, given that it's the New Year and most people check their animal horoscope in one way or another. Here goes:RatLife will be good for you. Rats are sneaky and disgusting and if you're as disgusting, you'll probably make it good. Make full use of this year for all your evil deeds because next year, you'll be trampled by the ox.OxYou have to slog and slog. What to do? You're born to labour all your life. On the plus side, you may die this year, bringing you the sweet release of death.TigerNot a good year for the tiger because the cats and rats can't stand each other. This year, the rat will get its revenge on you and make you suffer good. Be afraid and paranoid most of the times, because, those freaky things that you imagine will happen to you, WILL happen to you.DragonNo change as compared to last year. The dragon doesn't care about rats and vice versa. Life will be as usual. That is, if it's good, then it'll remain good and vice versa.RabbitIf you realise, the rabbit and the rat look similar, except the tail. Due to this reason, it'll be a bad year for the rabbits, because of the increase in demand for rabbit stew. Which mean, most of the time, you'll get yourself in hot soup which you can't get out of. Better stay at home all the time.SnakeExcellent year for the snakes. Snakes love eating rats and this year, you'll do much better than the rats. So find the chance to sabotage a rat now and you'll earn that promotion that you've always wanted.HorseThe rats are not too happy at being trampled by these animals often. Better watch out. It's the year for freak accidents.GoatGenerally, the rats and the goats have nothing in common, but goats are meant to be slaughtered so that we can have lamb chops, so you will continue to be bullied in all aspects of your life.DogThose born in the year of dogs will do good this year. Because just like the rats, you don't really like the cats and that makes you allies with the rats. So learn to be more scheming and you will excel.ChickenChickens and rats tend to fight in the barnyard for grains (because rats eat everything) and being an enemy of the rats mean your life will be hell. Be more paranoid and superstitious; it'll help.PigDoesn't matter as pigs never do well. They are only good for pork chops. YES!!! (Updated)After a long period of bidding on yahoo and ebay auctions, I finally got hold of a pair of Jay Chou's concert tickets. But surprisingly, I did not get them through the auctions. I just happened to stumble (again) into the sistic website and it turned out that there were available tickets on certain categories. And they were pretty good seats. Think someone up there likes me, and is so touched by my determination and sincerity. Heh. I know; I am damn lucky =)And to you people who bought the concert tickets through sistic for the sake of auctioning them off, shame on you. Those tickets are meant for people who are really interested in going for the concert, not for your bloody profiteering. I hope your finger nails rot and drop off, from spending the money you profited through the auctions, you greedy sons of bitches. Updated:I sold off my original pair of tickets at the cost price cos I got my hands on another pair which offers better seats, albeit more expensive. I'll be 2 rows from the stage!! =D BET WITH MEAlmost every new year, I tell myself that I want to quit smoking. But many years have passed, and I am still smoking.I think the real motivation to quit smoking is to be able to get some material benefits out from it.So this year, I'm gonna bet that I can quit smoking, and you guys are going to bet that I can't.Those of you who like to take this bet, it's SGD50 per bet, odds are 1 to 1. Hee.Come on, give me a bit of monetary motivation to help me quit.And don't give me those bullshit about "your real motivation should be your health, family ..... blah blah blah".Just tell me whether you're in or out.Oh, and I seriously will track you down to get the monies from you if I win. And of course, you can do the same if you do. Dino Shit on My HeadI had a really tough week. It's been my worst days since I joined Da Company.At some point, I couldn't decide to laugh or cry at my bad luck.Sigh.=========================================What I want for Christmas:1) Own a gun so that I can shoot my mobile so that it would not ring at the same time when I'm on the office phone.2) Own a gun so that I can shoot my office phone so that it would stop ringing.3) Own a gun so that I can shoot the supply bitch.4) Beat the crap outta the supply guy with my golf club so that he could wake up his fucking idea and stop giving me problems.5) Crap on my boss's chair so he would understand what it feels like to have to clean off other people's shit.6) Crap on my boss's boss's table so she would know what it feels like to have shit in front of you and feel fucked up.7) Stuff a ton of mint leaves into that colleague's mouth so that she knows she has bad breath (and that she should come so close when speaking to me).8) Head slam the marine girl because she is a bitch with no class.9) Slap the colleague who comes whining to me about how bad a day she had because she had to face ONE fucking problem.10) Burn the building with everyone inside except me so that I don't have to work but still get paid.So, who's ready to make my dreams come true? Correlation Because my friends around me are mainly guys, I get to hear a lot about things they like about women and sex. And I realised the parts of a woman that they like tend to reflect their favourite position on bed. BoobsOkay, almost the favourite part of most men. If you're very into boobs, you would prefer missionary position. Just so you can watch and caress the flesh while you're going at it. AssGuys who love grabbing ass would love humping, doggy-styled. Just so you can keep spanking while doing it. FaceAh-ha! Being able to watch a woman enjoy her part of the action turns you on a great deal. Visuals are important. So you'd most likely enjoy making out in front of a mirror. Legs69. No better way to feel the legs while getting some action. Okay, I may be wrong but there really seems some truth in this. Heh. Let me know. Fat People can't find Love Look around and you'll realize that those people who are attached are usually not fat. Particularly girls. They could be more well-endowed, possess child-bearing hips, or just come with elephant legs. But they do not fall into "FAT" category. They have problem areas but they're not a problem as a whole. "Fat" people are those who are look round, or huge and you can spot their body shape from far.We have no problems befriending fat people, but we won't consider them as potential partners. Most people would rather date ugly-looking people than to date fat people. That is, if they have a choice.Unfortunately, because of this, a lot of people are still single; the fat guys are still looking for slim girls and no guys want to pick up the fat girls. And it's harder for the girls, because while the girls don't mind considering fat guys, most guys will not consider fat girls. Never mind the fact that they can possess absolutely wonderful personalities.I happen to know a number of girls who are still single. Most of them are nice, caring and would make fantastic girlfriends. But they're all single because they belong to the "fat" category. Some are not even fat; they're plump, and they're not less healthy than the average person. I have seen some of my attached girlfriends behaving in the most unreasonable manner and I do sometimes wonder why their boyfriends don't go find another girlfriend. But it's the most demanding slim girls that somehow keep their guy.It's been a misconception that thin equals beautiful. A guy I used to date once pointed out a girl in public to me that, that was his idea of an ideal figure. She didn't have any curves, possess a washboard chest and chopstick legs. But the fact that she wasn't fat was what he was looking for. Of course, most guys wouldn't mind dating a girl with flesh in the right places (and perhaps a couple of wrong places) but they wouldn't date one with flesh in ALL the places.Now, I know the superficial people out there would come contesting what I'm saying and blah blah blah. I don't give a shit. You're superficial and you just won't admit it.But to those guys still single, maybe it's time you look again.There are really still a lot of nice, single girls out there. And before you start criticizing or finding fault with how the "fat" girls look, you'd better take a look of yourself in the mirror first. You may not be fat, but you can still look like shit. However, if you possess a generally pleasant personality, then I guess you would deserve to be with one of those we-may-not-deem-as-slim but are nice and good natured girls. Just a thoughtFor so many years, I have encountered different types of rude, arrogant, inconsiderate Singaporeans. Sometimes, you'd think that there is really no way in Singapore becoming a more gracious society. But, I encountered some nice people recently that shed a little hope that maybe things aren't as bad as I thought. The thoughtful Uncle There is this weird middle-aged guy that lives in my block. He would spend his time taking the lift, just going up and down. Often, he would be spotted looking very stoned as he made his way slowly to the lift. He's obviously a nutcase and his presence always brings about a lot discomfort to the residents. Many girls and women in this block are quite freaked out by his behavior and refused to take the lift with him. I have also had a rather bad experience with him (he had once tried to follow me while I was walking my dog but he couldn't keep up). But so far, I think there hasn't been any complaints about him; most people think he's harmless (except my one neighbour who told me his mother-in-law was once kicked by him while she was on the way out of the lift). Anyway, I was going home this one evening, and I saw him again the lift. The door opened, and he refused to get out. So i stood there, refusing to get in. Then, there was an uncle who made his way to the lift and he noticed that I was scared. He stood at the lift door, smiled at me and said, "It's okay; come on in." So I got in. Fortunately for me, the nice uncle lives on the 10th floor and I live on the 6th, which means I don't have to share the lift alone with the creepy guy (something I hadn't thought of when I made my way in). When the lift door was about to open, the nice uncle moved a little; to come in between myself and the creepy guy so that I could sort of be "protected" (and possibly not be kicked as I made my way out of the lift. heh.). It was a very simple gesture, but it was really very thoughtful of that nice uncle. The courteous bus driverThose who drive will tell you that taxi and bus drivers are the worst lot. They do not signal when they cut lanes, and when they do, the signal blinks for one second and suddenly they're right in front of you.This morning, when I was driving to work, there was this bus that was trying to cut into my lane. I usually give way when they signal. The bus driver, noticed that I gave way, gave a very long wave that symbolised a thank you. I thought it was actually a very polite thing to do. How often have we forgotten to thank the vehicle behind for giving way? The helpful ladyI was approaching this building near my office and had my hands full; groceries on one hand and my briefcase on the other. In the opposite direction, I noticed a lady walking towards me as she pushed through the glass door. I was still a distance from the door and was wondering how I could push my way through the door. The lady, noticing that I was approaching, held the door for me even though I wasn't exactly near it. I took a few quick steps and muttered a soft "Thank you" as I went passed her.I thought that was a very nice gesture. Sometimes you don't know how your little act of kindness or consideration can have a positive impact on other people. Even people you don't know. So, why wait to do something nice? I have decided to .... take things easyworry less not flare up easilydo less worknot work at home unless absolutely necessaryeat more chocolatesleave work on timenot be affected by what others sayconsider job options outside Da Companylearn how to invest my moneysmile morefrown lessgo for holidaysshop morebe a happier personI think this will help shave the 3 years that I have aged during my one year service with Da Company. ????Why do all guys like to think their dicks are long?It's so pitiful to live in self-denial, isn't it? ChangeBefore I joined Da Company .... After I joined Da Company ...Before living together .... After living together ....When I was living in a nice 4-room flat ... Now living in an exec. mansionette ... A year ago ....Now .... Before marriage ...After marriage ... Over the course of one year, my life has changed a great deal.I looked back sometimes, and wondered if I would have done certain things differently. I knew there were other options, but I chose to go down certain paths because at that point in time, it was the most appropriate way out. Not the best, but the most appropriate. So if you ask me if I regret it ... No, I don't. I only did what I had to do. I only hope now that I can find the strength to change the present and the future. Maybe not the present, but the future. Horror MoviesI'm sick and tired of those Korean horror movies. Ever since The Ring, the only ghost that appear in Japanese and Korean horror movies are Sadako-lookalikes. What happened to those good, old pontianaks that fly from trees, or the vampires that can climb on walls like bats??Anyway, in conjunction with the Lunar Seventh month, I would to talk about horror movies.Let's start with the scariest horror movie I watched when I was young. And that is, without a doubt, The Exorcist.Scary girl with white face, long hair and a man's voice were certainly enough to scare the wits out of me then. But it was made a little less scary because my father was telling me about how horrible that movie was and how much it had frightened him when he took my mom to watch (when they were dating). So I was more or less prepared.Then, there was this scary show named Evil Dead or something like that. Apparently, that story's about some supernatural thing that lurks in the basement. Which constantly reminds me, that I will never get myself a place with a basement. That is, if im moving to one of those countries with big houses and basements.So I grew up watching horror movies (thanks to mommy who's favourite family activity was going to the movies; so my bro and I had to watch all the movies that our parents watched). And I sort of don't get scared of such movies easily. In fact, I do enjoy them. I get scared while watching (but of course!) but after that, I'll laugh at how silly I was.There is this one movie, that has frightened me in recent years. That is, Dawn of the Dead. Not sure if this movie's about the supernatural, but flesh eating zombies are my least favourite of the supernaturals. I mean, vampires are pretty cool, you know, except, they can't go sun-tanning. Ghosts are just energy while witches can be pretty cool as well. But zombies just do not fit into the cool category. And zombies that can run faster than I do certainly freak the hell out of me. The horror movies that I hate most are those stupid Korean or Japanese ones with Sadako's hair and nails. I mean, can the props supervisor or make-up artist do something different? Somehow, in all these Korean movies, someone must wear white (and maybe look bloody), and start crawling on the floor onto a very frightened victim or that white body would start scratching her nails on the floor. They really gotta stop ruining the floor tiles.Anyway, the reason why I started talking about Korean movies is because I was on my way home from Malaysia (from our company retreat in KL), and we get to watch these movies on the bus, and they were showing this movie titled "Ghost Train". i slept through half the show, but I believed that i didn't miss much. Cos in the end, there was no proper ending and you're sort of left to guess who was the dead and who was still alive.Some movies that I thought were scary and had every reason to include Silent Hill, Ghost Camp, Tale of Two Sisters and some others. At least the story lines' pretty original. If I were to write a script, I'd like to write something to do with children playing hide-and-seek and finding themselves being hidden with something (someone) else in the closet, or people at a wedding banquet when half the room suddenly turned into werewolves and start feasting on all others, or the local S-11 coffeeshop that the supernaturals visit after midnight.What would your scary movie be like? NewsThere is this new project at work recently where we have to come up with little skits and video-cam ourselves. (By the way, if someone tells me he or she has to video-cam himself or herself, i would think of low budget porn straightaway. Dunno why. I think becos i have trash friends who had been injecting dirty stuff into my head from more than a decade ago, that's why.)Being a perfectionist, I have many ideas on how we can film ourselves and the angles to take so that it's not so boring, and it'll look very much like how it does on TV. So for our first shots, I wasn't too pleased and wanted to re-take the whole thing, despite 374,638 NGs.However, before I can suggest a re-take, a team-mate expressed that this is not her real work and she wanted to get her priorities right. That is, this project is not worth taking up so much of her time. She is not wrong. But am i obsessive with getting everything done with my best put in?I don't know.Anyway, I just want to say, it's damn tough being both an actor and a director. When I play director, I have to explain and get the team to understand how the angles should be taken, and the "steps" they gotta take in order to achieve the required results. Somehow, words are interpreted differently and eventually, the angles for most scenes are just not what I had initially wanted. But this is teamwork, so if the rest of the team think it's fine, then so be it. After all, being one of the actors, the re-takes and NGs had really worn me out.***************************************On other news, a friend just had a little baby girl and I went to the baby shower alone yesterday. Some friends came and left, while the others weren't there yet. I was left alone among hordes of people for quite a while. Despite the mommy trying to find time to talk to me, she was most busy and I couldn't keep her to myself for long.It is during times like this that I would think: Thank goodness I smoke.Congratulations to Cheryl and Wee Yong on the arrival of little Megan. Despite her size, Megan has really beautiful eyes. RoutineSunday morning.Instead of sleeping in, I have to get up early because today is the 49th day of Mr BF's mom's passing. So we gotta bring "her" back from the temple. And of course, cook some delicious home-cooked food so that she wouldn't go hungry when she "comes home".Anyway, I didn't follow the rest to the temple cos I wanted to see if help was needed with the cooking. And obviously, the maid had done everything (which is why i'm on blogger now).Anyway, I was eating my breakfast halfway and watching a HK TV serial on cable vision when suddenly Mr BF's dad decided to listen to music instead. He switched off the TV and turn on the stereo and started playing some CDs. The music was relatively loud and it filled the whole house.That was when I started feeling nostalgic.When I was young, my dad would play music on the stereo on every Sunday morning rather loudly. I would wake up, always to the music of cha-cha or the music of his time. I don't hate them, in fact, I grew to like them. It became a weekly routine; waking up to the loud music and opening my room door to find my father practising his dance steps in a very clumsy manner. Sometimes my mom would be practising with him. Either that, or she would be in the kitchen preparing lunch (yeah, i usually slept till noon).So, I grew up knowing the lyrics to the cheesy songs and actually being able to sing them.Gosh.I really, really miss my father. Very, very much. How much do looks matter?I remember once reading an article in a fashion magazine where this photographer was being envied by many for his frequent contacts with models. But he claimed that it was a much tougher job than what many others thought cos the photos in the magazines have been heavily edited. The fact, most of the models aren't as perfect as they appear to be, and they do have little tummies, fats, or cellulite on their legs. Then on Monday night, I was watching the Victoria Secrets fashion show(s) on TV and my god, those models looked gorgeous. Not all of them were pretty, but all of them had fantastic bodies. These models are different from those that you see on magazines. To be able to walk down a runway, you must have that perfect body; that is, no inch of fat (except those on your chest) can exist on your body. Then I was thinking, "Am I really ever gonna never look like that, not even once, in my life?"I know, I know. Looks are only secondary and it's your personality that matters ... blah blah blah ... but i admit im vain, ok. And I want to look good, just like every other woman out there. Now, I know what these models have to go through. They exercise like everyday, and eat only carrots and celery (and sometimes do drugs). And I also know, even if I run everyday, and survive on minimal food, i won't be able to look like that. Cos the fact is, I'm normal, and I can't just eat only carrots and tomatoes or spend my entire day in the gym. Anyway, I have digressed and the whole point of this post is actually on the emphasis that people have placed on looks. We know that in the entire globe, there are only like 10% of people who look like those in the pictures up there and most of us are blessed with the luxury of eating pizzas, cookies and cream ice-cream, char kway teow, chocolate pudding, etc. But these models have became the benchmark of beauty and unfortunately, you're gorgeous only if you look like that. Some time ago, I was watching some TV show with some friends, and one of the guys commented this when he saw a gorgeous model. "哇! 如果我有一个这样女朋友, 我一定会好好做人."Translation: "Wow! If I have a girlfriend who looks like that, I'll definitely be a good man."Now that is ridiculous. So you'll learn to be a better man only if you have a girlfriend who looks like a model? And if your girlfriend is ordinary-looking just like everyone else, you'll be a jerk or an asshole and treats her like shit?Shouldn't it be the case of 情人眼里出西施? (Translation: Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder)While I still bear the secret fantasy of having a body like those on the runway, I like to think that im beautiful enough for those who love me to appreciate me. Despite us women always finding fault with our bodies, we love compliments from you. Heh. So men, if you really love her, remember to kiss her on her forehead tonight and tell her she is beautiful. And mean it. It's a beautiful dayI woke up with a terrible cold this morning. Decided against going to work. So i washed up and took a cab down to the clinic. There is actually a clinic right below at my block but I had to get to a company appointed clinic so that i don't have to work out $$ from my own pocket for the consultation fees.After seeing the doctor, the nurse informed me that Da Company has changed their panel of doctors where this clinic is no longer in the panel. Fuck. I had spent 37 bugs for the medical consultation and 4 bugs for the cab fare.So I decided that i would just buy some food there and take a cab home to rest. Got my noodles and was waiting by the road side for an empty cab which seemed like an impossible thing to happen. Then, out of nowhere, i felt rain drops.Perfect.It wasn't heavy rain then, so I continued waiting hoping that some cab would just pass by and save my day. But it wasn't a great day to start with, so naturally nothing good would happen. After a couple of minutes, it started to pour. I had to run to a coffeeshop to get shelter while waiting for the rain to stop.Fuck it. May as well eat my noodles here.And so I did.After a while, the rain had somewhat subsided though it was still drizzling. Finished my noodles so I took a smoke when I saw a number of empty cabs passing by.Great. It should be easier to get a cab now.How wrong was I! The minute I stepped by the roadside trying to flag one down, all the cabs just disappeared. To top it up, there were like a dozen people all waiting for cabs. Argh.Despite everything, I managed to get home in one piece, albeit a little damp and more sick than ever.I was told by my doctor that I had contracted viral flu. It seems like everything is related to virus nowadays. Why does flu comes with a virus? Why can't it just be normal flu?Anyway, take care, y'all. Will update again. Being well-endowed .... The pain that most people wouldn't understand:1) Spending $$$$$ on brasCos u gotta get a good one so that they won't become saggy when they're still in their prime. 2) Getting stared atCos big ones are not seen very often.3) Extra weight when runningIt's an excuse to slow jogging, but yeah, it never gets old.4) Looking fatYeah, your assets makes you look bigger than you actually are. Which really sucks. 5) Wearing auntie brasThe stupid nice-looking bras in the stores are only meant for A cups and B cups. They dont cater to anything bigger. So you're stuck with wearing auntie bras if you want the support. It's so freaking unfair. 6) Cannot wear tube topsCos these tops really accentuates the already big size. 7) Risk becoming saggy:_(Just like Zhebin once said, it's damn sad to be called saggy. PUMPok, the sore parts:- my left butt cheek- my right shoulder- my left arm- actually both my butts- my thighsI hadn't had it so rough for such a long time. No matter how tired I was, I kept going on. Not just me, the rest of us. All of us got wet and sweaty during the whole process, but it didn't deter us from carrying on. It was exhausting, yet it felt good at the same time. And when it ended, we just sat there, totally washed out. But the experience was amazing. And I'm gonna do it again =) Dragon-boating ....... is sooooo cooool. One Wedding and a FuneralIt was a crazy week. On saturday the 2nd, I had to wake up at 5am after only an hour of sleep. That's because, for the first time, instead of being a 姐妹 at weddings, I was part of the 兄弟 gang and also, the videographer. I was informed earlier that I had to arrive at the groom's place by 6am, which I did, only to find the groom still in his T-shirt and an underwear. Although, I wished that I had not witnessed that. Anyway, we proceeded to the groom's mama's place (cos according to traditions, he had to set off from his parents' home) and while the boys got ready, I went to buy coffee and bread for them. It was a most pathetic sight. We were at the carpark, trying to find a most "glam" manner to eat our breakfast, without much success. So some of us were squatting around and holding up a cup of coffee on one hand with a cigarette in the other while the rest were munching on the pitiful bread. As one of the guys put it, "this is the loser gang ...."Anyway, we made to the bride's home on time, only to be kept waiting for about half hour. Upon reaching the flat, the boys almost, almost, succeeded in barging into the flat without the use of any angbaos (by use of the little boy who opened the car door as a pawn) although their ploy was ultimately thwarted by the bit of a sister on the hand of one of our brothers. Also, I was being attacked by the brothers during the negotiation of the ang baos because of some "Traitorous" (as the groom put it) comments I made. Well, I was just trying to spice things up; I thought the groom had it pretty easy.The rest of the day went well, and the weather was fine and we ended the day event at around 1 plus. As I was seriously exhausted, I was hoping to catch forty winks before making my way down to the dinner. I thought it would be nice to include the bride with her make-up and getting ready in the video. However, after 45 min of nap, I was awakened by Mr BF to make my way down to the hospital. His mom was very ill. By the time I got to the hospital, Mr BF's mom was already delirious. She couldn't make out who each of us was and seemed to be hallucinating. For the benefit of those who didn't catch my post a few months back, Mr BF's mom was diagnosed with lung cancer (terminal stage) back in late January. She had not been able to go for chemotherapy due to her poor health. Anyway, I stayed for a while and Mr BF asked me to go ahead to dinner while his sister and him would stay behind. I battled between staying behind and going for dinner. Both are once-in-a-lifetime events. Ultimately, I went for the dinner cos I felt there was nothing I could do for his mom even if I was there. But i could do something for my buddy's wedding. The dinner went on well; the food was great and despite some hiccups, everything ran smoothly. We went up to the bridal room after that and viewed the video of the morning event. The night ended up with lots of laughs. On Sunday, after enough rest, Mr BF and I made my way down to the hospital to visit his mom. Her conditioned had worsened overnight. In fact, she was in so much pain that she bit her own tongue. Although we could no longer understand what she was saying, we could tell she was in great pain and to make her condition worse, the doctor had given instructions not to allow any water. This was because there was a high chance the water could seep into her lungs which would be fatal. In between her murmuring, I could make out her asking for water. As if that wasn't bad enough, we had to tie her hands to the bed because she had been struggling to push the oxygen mask out of her face. It really saddened me that there was nothing I could do to alleviate her pain. We left the hospital at 9 plus that night. I made a mental note to finish up all my week's work in one day and to take leave from Tuesday onwards, so that at least one of us could be with her all the time.But she couldn't wait.Mr Bf's mom passed away the next morning at 10.47am. It was most heart-breaking. As the rest of the family members were too distraught to do anything, I headstart in the funeral arrangements, from finding the undertaker (i went back to the same undertaker who took care of my father's funeral) to packing up all her stuff and food and such. It was most tiring. I almost didn't have the time to feel sad. Except when I was packing her clothes.So the whole of last week was spent at the funeral, and the after-funeral arrangements. My energy has been totally sapped by the end of the week.But in a way, we have finally found closure. I hope. PaybackOkay, folk, I think this post will be relatively longer than my usual posts these days ...This incident happened last week in the office: I came into office earlier, hoping to ease a bit of my work in the morning. Cos there was this meeting which was supposed to take place at 10.30am. It was usually a very casual weekly meeting with just 2 other colleagues to talk about forecast and demand for the week. But this time, 2 more persons were invited to sit in, as we were hoping for more contribution. So I rushed a couple of reports, hoping that the information would be useful during the discussion, thereby pushing away a number of other duties. Then, at 10.45am, noticing that I had not been asked to meet up, I went over to the organiser's table to ask him about it. She: Hey, aren't we supposed to have the meeting now?He: *very surprised look* Oh! We already had it! At 10am just now! And we forgot about you! *Turning to his partner* Eh, QS, WE forgot about her!She: *expressionless*He: .... er er, because AP and RM had to meet up with a customer later, so we had to push the meeting earlier. Sorry sorry .... She: *pause*She: ok.So I walked back calmly to my table and just sat down on my chair. I swear I almost smelt something burning. Sure, we have the meeting only once a week, so it's not hard to forget about my part in this meeting. Fuming, but I continued my work as usual. I was supposed to have another discussion with said people the next day and with more people involved, so I'll bring this up then. And becos I was mad at this particular guy, when I got wind of some very important and urgent news, I chose to email him instead of calling him which I usually do. In the afternoon, there was an uproar in the office. Apparently, some of our products got loaded onto a certain vessel when they weren't supposed to. A very anxious colleague came to me asking if I knew about the situation, and I said I did. I also sent out the email earlier in the morning informing all concerned parties on this issue. The product was NOT supposed to be loaded. "Then, who is the person who is supposed to inform our plant not to load??"I smiled. ***************ring ....She : Hello. He: Eh! The XXX is not supposed to be loaded onto XX Vessel, is it?! She: Yah. He: But nobody told me!She: *in the most nonchalant attitude* I already sent out the email in the morning. Didn't you get it??Of course you didn't, you idiot! You are always not reading my emails, because im not a manager, or some big shot whom you want to suck up to. She: Besides, you've also asked me last Friday if XX can be loaded. And I already told you "no". If you didn't get any update from me since then, my last instruction still stands."He: *silent*That's right, you fucked up.Gosh, that felt good.Said guy was recently rotated to his currently job 3 months ago. Since then, he's pissed a number of my team mates off becos of his attitude; acting all high and mighty, forgetting how he had once worked in the same team. Quite a number of people just couldn't wait to watch him fall. Anyway, I don't think I want to continue the rest of the story cos it doesn't matter now. All I want to say is, all humans make mistake(s). It's really your attitude after the mistake that decides if you should be forgiven. Unfortunately, said guy wasn't apologetic and he was desperately looking for loopholes to cover his ass with. Some people just don't deserve to be forgiven. Things i foresee will happen to me1) Spraining my ankle for the nth timeI've given up keeping count on the number of times i've sprained my left ankle. With the amount of running that I do (e.g. jogging, rapid jay-walking across heavy traffic junctions, running after the bus - yes, I do still take buses, etc), it's most likely this will happen to me again.2) Falling down the escalator in my office building AND the stairs in my homeI have this intense premonition that it's a matter of time before I forget to hold on to the handrails on the escalator and lose my grip while frantically rummaging through my bag for my employee card. Then, I will fall backwards and tumble down the escalator and I would most likely cut myself and end up with a broken hip.The stairs in my home formed an L-shaped pattern and is beautifully grilled with wrought iron. However, the non-grilled part faces the wall and given that I've had a few near-missed incidents at losing my balance while climbing the stairs (and I think these are actually warning signs), it's most likely one of these days I'm gonna slip and hit my face on the wall before tumbling down the rest of the steps, breaking my arm during the process. I do hope I break my left arm though, so, even if I can't write, I still have strength in my right arm to hit people.This also brings to mind an incident last week. I was out with a friend and we were on the escalator at the Lido cineplex, and I asked him if he would hold on to me if i'm gonna slip (which meant, he might tumble down the escalator with me), to which he replied, "Then you don't be clumsy lah! If you choose to be clumsy, how can people help you?!"My dear friend, clumsiness is not by choice. You can choose to be more careful, but you can't choose not to be clumsy. I'm just born like that, you know?3) Seeing a shrinkMy emotional and mental balance have tilted by quite a fair bit recently. I snapped at little things that are not going my way (which happens almost everyday) and I kept imaginging how it will go when I finally get hold of a gun where I can bring to the office and shoot everyone there. Well, maybe not everyone. There are some nice chaps around. But I would like to shoot my phone first, so it'll stop ringing. haha ... I'm kidding of course. I can't get a gun in Singapore. I'll just use my kitchen knife instead.I find myself talking a lot more (to myself), and my emotions go up and down like a yo-yo. I frequently tear for no reason during travelling time alone (in the car) and since I don't fancy the idea of sharing all my thoughts to someone else I keep a lot of it in. If I don't see a shrink soon, I might explode, which would be a disgusting sight.4) Getting fatWhat's new? With the amount of work, numerous visits to the hospital and time to catch up with people that matter, I hardly find time to exercise. It's a matter of time before I become a fat, old bitch.I have quite an uneventful life, eh? REVIEWI'm on course these few days and today is the first day.Even though it's a relatively short insight into the chemicals industry, it has been very interesting. We learnt the uses of chemicals and how it's being produced.Then I remembered some big shot ever mentioning during some awareness session that the chemicals companies are always being criticized for damage to environment and the community and emptying the earth's resources (oil) and so on.The thing is, I wonder if the critics know the kind of materials that are being produced from chemicals, and if they do, then they would realise that it's impossible to do without chemicals in our lives.Some examples of products that are being produced from chemicals include:- The foam in the mattress you lie on- The dashboard in your car- The nice-smelling shampoo you use on your head- The panadol you consume when you experience headaches- The polyester used in fabrics (including swim suits)- car tyres- the plastic plate that your children are usingand almost a lot of many other things you find in your home. Basically, anything remotely related to plastics.If the critics are unhappy about pollution to the environment, then I've nothing to say. Although I want to mention that many chemical companies actually do take a lot of extra care to make sure they minimize such damage. However, if these so-called critics are concerned about using up the earth's resources, then they'd better not be using any of the products that are being produced from chemicals. Which means, they gotta be using:- wooden utensils- banana leaves as clothes- paper cups- wooden chairs- stones as toys for their children- no TV or audio systems at alland they had better not paint their homes cos paints are made from chemicals as well.Also, if they're indeed using things made of wood, they should be criticized too, from cutting down too many trees.I hope someone can provide some insight on what critics do for a living. Do they just criticise and get paid? Does anyone criticise their criticisms? Who gave them the right to criticise anything they don't see eye-to-eye to? I always get a feeling that critics are sad, lonely (and sexless) people so they want to take it out on everyone else. Unless you're a food critic.Oh by the way, I still gotta work from home every night after the whole-day course in the day. I need some good massages.Get the hint?