Distractions Too much distractions. What was supposed to be a day I would blog non-stop ended up with me losing my focus when a spontaneous trip from west to east was sprung on me, so that my cravings for Popeye’s could be satisfied at the airport. And what was supposed to be a long ride back was cut short when it was detoured to… Resorts World Sentosa. After 9 hours, it was a trip to the court, before the draining day seen me concussed out till another gathering took place. L4D2 expert mode. At least we completed ONE CHAPTER of one of the maps, and struggling through many others. It felt like a suicide mission more than anything else. Another gathering earlier tonight. And a fabulous evening out in town, and a night of movie marathon. Up in the Air, and the Hurt Locker. I found myself enjoying the Up in the Air quite a bit though the bittersweet-ness was just too much of a dampener. But it is understandable when a separate world from one’s reality, is perhaps the most exhilarating, and less flawed. Hurt Locker was too intense for me. I adore war movies but somehow this movie didn’t do it for me, perhaps the jitters it gave me just made me feeling too uncomfortable throughout the movie to really enjoy it. It is a good movie that captivated my emotions, took them through ups and downs, but I just didn’t enjoy it, like how some people might find Thai massages (speaking of which, I need one!) too painful to be enjoyable. Aiming to catch a few more movies, especially the likes of Blind side, An Education, Green Zone, not that keen on Alice in Wonderland, but it IS Johnny Depp after all. Iron Man 2 is coming out too, some Russell Crowe movie? I have to say I am pretty much enjoying the 2010 movies so far. I have too much fodder, too little focus. And for those who have asked about my pole dancing classes (which are A LOT of you), and are interested, the new course is starting soon with 3 different slots, and a free trial class on 24 March. About 4 of my friends are already signed up, with a few more pending on which days to go for. Then we can all go pole-practise together! Lotsa pain and fun ahead Alrighty, another day of activities out in the sun and all. Going to fulfil my promise of dolphins which the spawn has yet to forget  Finally! Love Never Dies finally made its debut, and a finale is set for one of the most beautifully bittersweet musicals ever. Despite scheduled for a later date, it had opened tonight in London West end, and the album is out, which I heard was yesterday. What awesome birthday present (ahem, I still did receive a present from an old friend, whom I forgot to prepare a birthday gift for, since a fellow Piscean, *utterly embarrassed* so I don’t care it is over!). *BEAMS* I don’t really care what the critiques said! *Twiddles thumb* If only I have a ticket to it. From what I have seen and read so far, the costumes are amazingly vibrant, and just a burst of pretty colours, definitely more rah-rah than its predecessor. Now, can’t wait for Chicago to open locally, and when the Lion King takes stage at Marina Bay Sands. On a side note, it could have been quite a fabulous Wednesday. But I know I am just knackered. Minibean, old friends, pole practise (finally made it to pole practise ONCE), L4D2 Expert mode (okay, we are NOT there yet), good food, albeit a bit disappointed when TWG ran out of scones. BAH. I even blogged. Twice in a span of 24 hours. I am making good progress here! What I miss about dating It has nothing much to do with the dinner dates I have these days, but I have to say that the arrangements for things to happen did remind me about back in those days when I could still command some market value and would require a personal assistant to schedule my dates (cough, bullshit, cough). These days, they are regarded as “meeting up with friends” for reasons possibly to do with age, mentality, and just an adverse fear towards the male species. I mean, c’mon chaps, you think I will still fall for those unpolished moves and clumsy words you speak forth? Ha! Fishball eyes? Out. Touchy hands? Don’t let me break ‘em. Boring conversations? I have more interesting things to do in my life, like having some me-time and doing things that don’t require me to have any conversation. So yup, the safe precaution I take ended up to be meeting up with people whom I already knew for quite some time… or should have caught up, but just hadn’t got the chance to, and er, well, sometimes you just have to wait for them to gain permission (or freedom) to be able to catch up again. And I realised with a few dinner dates with different chaps this week, reminded me of some part of dating I actually miss, though they might not be classified as dates, per se. Like, say, I totally adore it when guys take charge. They are gentlemanly enough to ask what do you like, and even if your answer is an annoying “Anything”, they are quick to suggest, “Japanese? You like sushi?”. Now, it shows he is in charge, but at the same time, your opinion does matter. Dinner time and place was set. I am really the kind who is indecisive, and I like it when I throw the decision making to the chaps, and I will decide if I like it or not. I know lah, a bit whatever since I already said ANYTHING yet it doesn’t really mean ANYTHING. Say if the person says fish head curry, I probably will give a quick “Woops, I don’t take fish!”. So if I really do not mind Japanese, but yet I don’t eat sushi, I will say, Japanese sounds great though I don’t take sushi, but I love teppanyaki and tempuras and the likes. Another dinner kaki planned for a belated dinner with me, and ended up asking me what would I like to have. After weeks of table-tennising, and plenty of “CAN YOU GO AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT?!” (Piscean men, I TELL YOU!!!! Smack them ah!), and endless of “You go think about what you feel like having“, I know this kind of men, tsk, so I ended up telling him two magical words, “Pasta, town“. Perhaps we have been chums for more than a decade work wonders, that I didn’t mind telling him to MAN UP in between rolled eyes. I mean seriously. But nonetheless, credits to him, to my utter pleasant surprise, he set the time and place upon the cues, so brownie points to that! But I really find men to be such wusses when they keep asking you what you would like, and even when you blow your top with absolute frustration to tell them to BE A MAN and decide, they still ask you “what you feel like eating?!“. It is. A.N.N.O.Y.I.N.G. Can’t you bloody take charge?! Do you want me to decide that your underwear should be PINK colour?! ROARRRRRR! The thing I miss about dates is also the dressing up to the occasion, or the need NOT to. I don’t know, but there are some friends, even though just as friends, who you want to dress up for. I have had girl dates before, and we go to a nice restaurant and just enjoy each other’s company with the fine food and drinks, and we totally dressed up for it, and the thrill of it beats any hot dates. There are some chaps which you feel so comfortable that you dress down just so you could feel stripped bare before him. NOT LITERALLY, but you know what I mean. And there are some where the dressing up is the highlight of the evening, where you just wanna impress someone, cos you bother to. And then. The nice thing about dates is the element of surprise. It is an absolute pampering when you turn up and realise how much research has been done to choose a nice restaurant tucked away in a special location, and it is somewhere you have never been to before. It is no longer one of those franchised restaurants you frequent, or the eatery that has became a frequent joint because of your recommendation, because, hey, the man took charge here! I always live for the experience, and thus, a brand new experience, and a brand new place might just be the refreshing change I need! The lights, the ambience, and the anticipation of the food which starts you churning out blog reviews in your mind, and telling your friends how fabulous the place is, though sometimes you have to add in “Pity about the date though“. End of the day, despite the bad date, a fabulous place and a new gem of an eatery discovered, is still a fruitful date, and it feels like some effort and research had been done to make you feel special (Say, Ting, have you been to Restaurant ABC?), though the restaurant probably recognizes him for the different dates he brings. But most of all, the things you discover during dates, like the elements to the character of the guy sitting before you, as his impression builds, and how you slowly find your comfort level before him, the bantering, the giggles, the easy conversations, the casual flirting, and the slight blush…. .. Or even the pom pom tiao feeling. That would set pace for a much longed-for after-meal drinks, or the lack of would mean me finding excuses to scoot off to spend time in bed, online, or just indulge in ample me-time. Ah… bliss. *** It has been a while and I have found the words that I used to be so familiar with hardly come out as freely as before. I finally have some time to start writing again, though the process of backlogging is going to be a tedious one with 1/4 of years of my memories becoming a tad too hazy. Still pretty much a half-hearted effort, but slowly, but surely Simple pleasures It was a fabulous, fabulous end to the week, which saw me turning a year older and feeling nothing about it. I had even wished it would be my 30th! The feel good factor is still lingering on despite that I should be severely PMSsy, and the aches are fatigue have yet to wear off. But I am indeed buzzing from this feel-goodness, and wonder when the flow of the crimson tide is gonna destroy all these. It seems like this month (or years, or decades,or forever as people had sent their well wishes for) is indeed going to carry on with this positive note with the agendas on the schedule. And this week, is finally the week that I am looking forward to… because it will be my “favourite people” week. Which I would get to see my dad back from his trip, and a whole lot of other people closer to my hearts… Why not before my birthday? I scared the rejection or if anything went wrong then I will be stabbing myself in the chest over the weekend what! And I wouldn’t survive to see me getting older (like it is a joy to become a prune!). Okay, I am in a slight daze in this state of fatigue, it might not make sense to anyone, including myself. Anyway, I am saying this explains why it will be a busy week. Which is perhaps I haven’t got the chance to thank some people personally, or blog or to remember how this weightlessness of pure, unadulterated joy feels like. And now, as I always wonder, when am I gonna crash from this high? Got many things to say But no time to say! This weekend is gonna be awesome, today is gonna be awesome. Today got event. Gonna be awesome. Byebyebyebyebyebyebyebye. Next week, more posts! March-ing on Yes, I haven’t been back despite the repetitions on how I am gonna be back blarblarblar, laughs. So, I ain’t gonna tag a timeline to that, so I don’t feel like I fail to deliver like that. I can’t believe how fast this year has shifted, and the first quarter of the year is coming to an end. I don’t know if I can proudly claim that I have been “living life”, but so far, I can find the space to breathe and to do the things I like, yet somehow, I know something is terribly missing, besides moolah that is. I find there are quite  a bit of things I can’t seem to say or express, and the venture to meet more people turns out to be much more scary and challenging than I had expected it to be. And I still loathe the fact that when the different worlds clash, and by some twisted, warped works of affinity, you start to feel for people you shouldn’t and then you realise no matter how open-minded people around you are or how nice or how understanding this second, or supposed to be, they lose sight, nonetheless. I am okay. No, not really, but I don’t know what to say anymore. Don’t tell me nevermind, don’t care, cos if the person doesn’t mean that much to me, I wouldn’t have minded, I wouldn’t have cared. Same thing to you. I minded enough, I cared enough, for you. Maybe, this hiatus should be good, and should be extended beyond. *** This aside, I am feeling quite positive that it is March, and I didn’t realise how much I love March, and that besides December, it is my favourite month. Not that it is because it is my birthday month, but because there is just something cosy about March. And how I am looking forward to embrace the month of “blossoming” and I realise ageing, doesn’t mean nor feel much. Or maybe it is just me feeling resigned. Or maybe it is just because I realised I am just glad I am able to do quite a bit still and keeping it going cos I want to, and I feel like it. Or maybe because, hey, if I look like shit and whatever, I have my rights to be so, cos, hello? I am a mother of one, okay? I am by-rightly an auntie, so I should be glad my ass hasn’t fallen victim to gravity (deluded), and my body hasn’t really taken the shape of a pear, with the bye-bye arms a tell-tale sign of ageing or blarblarblar. I am still counting my blessings, cos, glass should always be half full right?! RIGHT?!?!??!??!?!?!?! Uhm, I think so. What’s more, someone at an event asked me if I am still studying, simply cos he thought I look like a final year university student, and was surprised and exclaimed “You are not older than XXX right?”. XXX is a common friend and is indeed younger than me by a couple of years, giggles. Okay, my ego is fed, and this blog should be fed too. I realised how bad it is to realise there are 2000+ spams in my comment box. Gasp! Have a great month of March. I can’t wait to live this month to the fullest. For all the reasons under the sun. For now, I am gonna indulge in some Prosperity Burger, and savour the Chelsea V Manchester City match replay. Edited: NAHBEHH!!!! PROMOTION ENDED ALREADY. DEVASTATED! Protected: Close to me This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: Password: Have a roaring good year It is a tad late coming from me, but Happy Lunar New Year everyone! Not all visitings are bad, there were quite some amazing people I did meet, though there were some I sure do not hope to meet again. The start has been lots of visiting which I seldom do (but the little one has to get some actions, doesn’t she?), lots of gatherings (to pass time with the minor gamblings, or just obligatory catch ups with relatives from overseas), and a through-the-night L4D2ing that saw us finally conquering one map of advanced after killing tens of thousands of zombies, and restarting more than 20 times (for 5 stages in total) in 7 hours. It was nothing short of spectacular in our views, but I am sure you beg to differ. But when we walked out into the breaking day, the sense of pride was beaming through us. Imagine 7 hours of efforts go unrewarded, it would be like getting the highs from all the humping but not achieving the orgasm. Then, time to pick up the pace again, and plenty of stuff are on the to-do-list. Lotsa planning needed to be done. And there is only so much time left. Time to ROAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! So, there are couple of schools to check out and to meet the school masters. I am not sure how much is it going to devastate my bank account, and it seems like a pretty scary step to take. Any tips from mothers out there? And of course, the extra-curriculum classes (no, I am not a believer of drowning my child in those excessive classes, but there are some I think are quite enjoyable and crucial for her.. especially when she is this active) that are useful? I am looking for classes that help to grow, and get them involved, and appreciate their strengths, and nothing of the competitive shite that other parents are so into that will stress Minibean out. But sorry baby, it is not a choice for you to not take up swimming, it is an essential skill and don’t worry, I am not expecting you to be the next Joscelin Yeo or Ian Thorpe. Decisions, decisions. *Ponders in deep thoughts* Oxtail It is finally the last day of the year of the ox. I think the thing with celebrations is, it always give us a chance to make-belief a new start, or perhaps, bookend and conclude something we hope to mark an end to. But it is just another day, ya know ya know? I know I hadn’t been updating as promised, probably with the new stuff I have been doing, and some new stuff I am trying to start, and also, I am down with a fever and getting a new bout of flu. YES, ALL OVER AGAIN. I had a serious bout just over the Christmas and new year season lor, and what are the chances I had to rush to the doc’s again today because I am afraid of getting the full bout of it over Lunar New Year? Well, and I was told in the midst of my grogginess I was having a fever. *Grumbles grumbles* Not to mention how I was coughing my way to 6-pecs, and the constant constrictions to my head with the hardcore coughing that I developed a bad migraine last night. My nose started clogging up too. So I had Tramadol, chlorpheniramine and codeine. TOGETHER. I had mentioned several times how Tramadol gives me a floaty high. I have someone mentioned to me before how half a tablet of chlorpheniramine knocked him out. And we all know about codeine. Was it surprising that I was unusually floaty and high for last night? But what I didn’t expect was when I woke up every single time today, I was in a state of confusion and I was still feeling floaty and found myself not able to find the strength to even sit up? So back to surreal-land I drifted off to. I woke up and could feel as if the medicine didn’t even wear off after 15 hours. I took a small nap and the grogginess was with me, and I was having slight shivers with the weightlessness still bugging me. Same, shallow breaths. I ended up being a mighty infected tonight. They were right to say I might shoot better being high. I should start asking people out for L4D2 when I am having a migraine next time, and I am high on tramadol. ROAAARRRRRRR. Since it is the end of the year of the ox, and with me having so much backlog to clear, I didn’t have the chance to blog about my departure from my company. Yes, I was officially unemployed on the first day of 2010 and it was quite an awesome way to start the new year with a break. To complete what I set out to do, though some stuff are still yet to tick off. I have already quite a bit of plans in mind as we progress into the year of the Tiger, and perhaps, this will be the point of things kicking into motion. I know I have been procrastinating, but yes, many of you already know what my plan is. Though a little hiccup and a little advice here and there are making me rethinking about my options. I am not disillusioned to think that the path I take is gonna be all rosy and glamourous, cos I know how tough it is gonna be, but nonetheless, as much as I am quite a dreamer to say this, moolah is not that important to me in exchange for invaluable experiences. Of course a balance has to be struck. Or if I am feeling a bit more generous with giving myself a longer break, I would see if I could postpone my plan past my 29th. At this moment, it sure is great catching up with Minibean’s growth (sorry hun, it is time to get you onto the academic track), trying to rebuild the relationship with my mum, getting the other things sorted, put my health back on track, getting to know the world a little better, and just chill to do a bit of things at the side which I had always been wanting to do. As much as I am still very much the melancholic person I am, I have to say I have enjoyed the simply joys and the luxury of feeling lighter.. and the improvements in all aspect I have been trying to do in this timeframe. This comfort and assurance is also perhaps why I hadn’t been blogging much, cos… sometimes too many things and revelations along the way, and the typing/blogging/thoughts can’t catch up with the changes. Yes, I still think a lot, laughs. Baby steps, hang on there, baby steps. I wish that it would be a beautiful end to the year of the ox for everyone, and I don’t know whether to say HUAT AH to everyone or not, cos for all I know, people will be huat-ing from my moolah over Lunar New Year. Still, wishing everyone plenty of prosperity (order prosperity burger when gambling!!), and ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING good Tiger year ahead. Sounds a bit obligatory lah, but isn’t all celebrations about giving hope of a better year ahead? Yes, hope. Keep it alive. Someday, I shall be able to be open as I used to be, on this space, again. I believe. Fab week of Feb Yes, it is about time for me to get into full swing of momentum, and I shall add how it is not THAT easy for me to do so. Like, where do I start? And to dig far into the memory for the wonderful and otherwise mundane things that happened in the past month odd, it could be rather tedious. And boy, the break I had been planning and waited for, had finally happened. And after this break, hopefully comes the BIG break. And yes, the break has tire me out though the sense of fulfilment is certainly one I would not trade anything else for. More on the on the next post, since I think that probably should be the start of the chapter for me to recollect the past month and half that had taken an absence from this space of mine or else my ageing memory might just fail me too soon haha. Hopefully I would look bad one day to remind myself how important this phase is really am for me, and I would always use this space to find that bit of myself that was discovered in this process. And that, I remember how it is to… breathe again. *** It was a good day today, I asked for a little leeway from helping a friend out to sort out some of the matters on hand, and at the same time, spending some time with the little one. And it is almost impossible to accomplish any work with the little one’s endless questions when she sat beside me, and before long, I was drying her hair after shower, feeding her porridge, trying to sneak in a bit of lunch and fighting her hands off my food, do the dishes, and then shortly after, changing her to her PJs, get her usual arrangement of pillows and blanket, gave in to her requests of milk and water (yes, she had wanted milk and water right after her bowl of porridge and pinching on my food, why is she still so scrawny?!), and lie down next to her so she would nap. She then slowly drifted off as I stroked her hair, kissed her face. I wonder where had all the time went to and in the end nothing for myself was done, but it seems like an awesome thing to do, to do so everyday and see her grow, but…. not a practical choice with whatever is in the pipeline. Come Wednesday, it will be her 2nd lesson at the pool, and she would soon be joining the dreaded phase of going for enrichment lessons. And shortly after the busy day with Minibean, I will have to leave for my pole-dance class soon in a while. Gee. *** 1st February 2010 Monday I was happy. I woke up in the early morning after dozing off post-Manchester United V Arsenal match, and decided to go about the usual stuff during the day, and not breaching any shopping ban and cab ban. I successfully got on a train but unfortunately got off at the wrong stop. Silly, silly me. Met up with an old friend of mine in the east area, and we caught up with lots of the past. She had since lost like 15 kg and had never looked this good with the improvement to her skin condition and all. She has became more driven yet still maintained the motherly nature in her. It has been so long since we have been friends, and she seems relatively happier since I last met her when she was still unhappy in her job. And sometimes, we really do have to take the plunge for the greater things in life meant to be better for us. Rushed to town to do my cheongsam fitting after weeks of lamenting on my twitter and getting feedback on where to get it from, and it was just difficult to make a choice when everything looked good! Alas, gotta rush for pole dance class, and the plan for getting a navel piercing was pooh-poohed out of the window when I realised I probably can’t pole dance for more than half a year if I get it done cos we need the tummy fats to grip the pole. With the advancement to poledance 2, the fun spins that kept us going back for more had morbidly morphed into traumatisingly, painful climbs. Which doesn’t exactly spell good news for me especially with my sweaty palms. Nonetheless, it was still a great sense of achievement with things we finally managed to do, albeit in between screams and swear words, and trying to look as graceful as we can. And of course, some of the others can make it look as effortless as it can, and I can only look constipated hahaaha. Some of the mishaps included hitting my you-know-where to the very hard pole, and endless times of falling from the pole. And many others had their inner thighs badly bruised due to the abrasions. And for me, I still have various bruises from my foot, all the way to my thighs. Some day, I shall do a split on the pole. Cough. Before I break ma bones on the pole, that is. Everytime I see the other more advanced girls advancing, and slowly getting better at their moves and skills, it spurs me on to know with the hard work it will get somewhere Headed to Arab Street to meet up with some of the chaps, and enjoyed some fabulous lambchop and easy banters, almost made a booboo, envied a friend who told the story how he played beach football with Eric Cantona in Bali, before we left Arab Street to Siren’s grandpa’s wake in Hougang. Left for home when it was getting late, and it was strange that after staying up for so many hours, I still couldn’t get to sleep late at night. (Oh dear, going to be late for pole dance class, will complete this later tonight!) *** Been busy since I returned home from today’s poledance class, and a quick supper session with Jiali, Siren and Vandalin in their territory. It was quite an easy pole-dance class since our instructor didn’t really want us to hurt ourselves for the coming lunar new year, laughs. Nonetheless, as our classes got more demanding physically, we will be doing more inverts, and that involved us getting into inverted position while standing. We were also doing the “cradle” with us doing a baseball grip and curling into a ball with our legs to our chests and do a spin. And I was surprised to learn that I could bend my back backwards that just a little more I could actually touch the back of my head with my toes. Gasp. Can go onto Orchard Road and busk soon, maybe. Hohoho. Here’s the invert from today where we even learnt how to wriggle upwards while inverted. Tedious! My left hand is actually quite dominate, apparently. I can’t wait to progress to Pole 3 and Pole 4.. and eventually Pole 5, though am not sure my stamina will ever bring me that far. Jiali and I almost lost our way as we headed to Punggol Nasi Lemak, and I actually avoided Nasi Lemak in a bid to control my diet these days. More on it.. in a while! As I got back, I almost forgotten that I have to work tomorrow. Bah! But since I am trying hard to get into the swing of writing, I shall finish this entry before retiring. *** 2nd February 2010, Tuesday Rushed around on Tuesday again, and ended up going back to the cheongsam place for yet another fitting, and met this really sweet lass who ended my agony of pondering over which to buy just as I ended hers. I hope she likes the red lace cheongsam (cos I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it but it was way out of my budget) though her boyfriend probably prefer the other one, and I actually went with her choice rather than my personal choice. Her body shape is so awesome for the cheongsam, and her looks are those classic, sweet and innocent kind, so she would not look make the look cheap. I did some personalisation of the one she chose, so it would be more chic and unconventional, and can’t wait to see the results tomorrow. I still am thinking and pining over the bright blue one. After the fitting, went over to Singapore Arts Museum, where I met up with Siren, Vandalin for dinner at Food for thought. Surprise of the evening was when I finally met THB in person and F also joined us for dinner. And after all these years of reading, I finally got to meet THB, and honestly I was a bit pom-pom tiao, and a little awkward as I always am. Mr THB also joined us for a short while, and Vandalin nearly embarrassed me for a past incident where I was eternally grateful to J and Mr THB for. The nice bunch of company and easy-goingness made me realised how it is like to laugh and blush again. The fabulous choice of eatery was also a great plus. I took a bus there and realised how much the buses these days have changed. Slotted quietly behind NTUC Income building was a quaint structure, housing the eatery. And there’s where Food for Thought is cleverly shielded from the bustling of the town. This little gem of a place, was cosy and the most memorable moment was when another table was singing birthday songs for the 2 leads, everyone of us from other tables, started to chime in, clapping and cheering though we were just strangers. It was just a very heartwarming mood, and when the topic was brought to my upcoming final birthday in my twenties, a plan was threw up by Siren and it sounded like a fabulous plan to execute. -Beams- Food for thought also made us feel all nostalgic with the brilliant pieces they were selling to raise fund for the selected charity: You might recognise some of those items from long before… And it was very thoughtful of them to have a little illustration to these items that some others might find unfamiliar. Everything is just sweet in there, and even the menu was telling of the thoughts that went into the place. Free flow of water costs you nothing, but the $2 you pay will go to the Give Clean Water project where it would help the less fortunate in other parts of the world who don’t have the luxury of having clean water (thank you THB for the round of drinks!). A read on the site, also showed that efforts to help the Haitians to get clean, drinking water which they had been deprived of, is going on as well. A bible verse, the more I am sold! Cheese Nomnom! So cute! The soup of the day which was a tad salty for F’s liking. My aglio olio was pretty tasty, and I quite enjoyed my food. The steak THB had was a tad too raw, and after we reflected, they had not charged us for the steak which I thought was a great initiative. Not forgetting on the menu, they had stated they don’t believe in charging service charge, cos it is their pleasure to serve. The reservation method done in the restaurant. After dinner, we were dropped off by the fab couple at Prinsep, where we were all geared to save the world! The night ended with a strange little girl outside the LAN shop, striking up the most bizarre conversation any person had. Sane, or insane, male or female, she won, I tell ya. *** 3 February 2010 Started the day with just an hour of sleep, before heading off to Siren’s office, and the heat was almost killing me. Luckily the therapeutic dose of manual stuff got me through the day and the good company of Amanda made the day passed a little faster. Before I knew it, I was rushing and was a tad late for salsa. I even managed to hang on enough to take a train back, and dragged my battered body back home, and enjoyed an episode of American Idol in my emoness. I ended up tearing at some segments, and laughing really hard at the others, with my emotions amplified by millions with the fatal dosage of PMS in me. I was asleep way before midnight and it was yet another dream of me travelling to my dreamt-up places, with snow, with beautiful architecture, and meeting an array of people in my dream. I just remember I dreamt of a secondary school classmate of mine last night and I am wondering how she is doing now. *** I woke up on Thursday feeling all charged with ample rest, and headed to town again in the morning. Headed to Raffles Hospital for my medical report, and the results was quite appalling. Apparently I have a severe allergy to… all dairies, especially cheese, and eggs. Gluten, wheat, peanut, abalone, crab, lobster, oyster, kelp and chilli and ginger too. So. I was told to keep away from all chocolates, cookies, pasta, noodles, cakes… and the list go so long that I dropped dead and didn’t finish hearing the list. I mean, okay lah, the symptoms are probably tahan-able, but just a matter of stressing my digestive and other possible contributions to some other stuff. Thankfully I am non-reactive to all red meat and meat (not fish though, but haha! I don’t take fish, yay!). My hormones are quite out of range and I am put on quite some medication to balance them out. My doctor asked me how could I survive with the amount of testosterone, and I find it an answer I couldn’t find myself either. I thought she was being a fortune teller when she was asking me certain aspect of my life. Met up with D for drinks, and she waited for me under the hospital, before we headed to the cheongsam place, and then a very awesome place in Dempsey - CMPB. It was a long evening of planning, and she told me to stop being so stubborn with help. It could be pride, but I just find it hard to accept or even ask for help even if I really need to. I know everyone meant well, but at this moment I really find it manageable and find no need to exhaust the favours or put anyone in inconveniences. I know many people had helped me along the way in the past few years, and I truly, truly appreciate it, but it was also because of those years of help, I know I have favours I probably am indebted for life, even if they don’t feel that way. And the worst feeling is at some point, you realise people actually helped looking for something in return, and the humiliation you have to go through just because you thought it was a gesture of kindness, not everyone would think or feel so. And sometimes, before you could have the time to express your appreciation, it might be just too late for others. I also feel that with the help, sometimes people feel there is a right in them to dictate your choices in life, and that is why I am more sensitive to monetary help these days and would rather refuse any, even if coming from people closest to me. It was a nice talk, though I would say at the end of it I got a mega-migraine going on and ended up not meeting with Belinda whom I had meant to meet up for the longest time. The Ikea trip was also cancelled cos the discussion took too long to reach a conclusion. It is good to know that many people have my backs and perhaps would step in to do “their thang” but then, don’t write me off just yet, just because you have no idea what I am doing. I managed to get through the episode of American Idol with some tears and laughs, before I ended up dozing off early yet again. *** 5 February 2010, Friday Woke up intermittently to some discomfort, and by early morning I woke up and started my day, I was rolling around in pain with the migraine and cramps. It wasn’t that great a day as I tried to shrimp up in bed to get the cramps over, though the bizarre dream I had probably made me feel better. I was intending to stay home until a bad episode with my mum had reduced me to tears just after she had stepped into the house. Let’s just say despite all the years of bad episodes we had in recent years, it wasn’t as explosive as the one we had on Friday. The accusations from her flew easily, and I was just having too much pent up frustration towards her recent behaviour that I just rattled out everything, cos the previous nice talk I tried to have with her just simply, didn’t work. I ended up bringing up the topic of how money isn’t the most important thing, and the will my dad had crafted which have my half-siblings involved but I don’t give a flying fuck about, cos why do I want to owe anyone anything? The pressure she had piled on my dad when he was out there working and rushing his projects, was something that I had to rant as well, and it ended up with her saying I was trying to beat her up cos I was talking in the fast and furious way. My dad tried to speak up against her, but she as well, tried to defend herself saying the nastiest of things, and then I just said, “You ownself got watch those HK and TW serials one, you ownself think through the nasty curses and poisonous words you said, don’t you find it similar to those villains in the show?!” (okay, it was phrased in mandarin so less awkward, hahaaha!) I went into my room and then just burst out crying cos it was just so disappointing the last nice talk I had with her didn’t work and things had to come to this. I was ready to move out and just shield Minibean from all the things she had said in front of Minibean about everyone of us or the values I had not want Minibean to be exposed to. I ended up heading towards Cineleisure to have dinner with Siren and Vandalin, and it was no surprise we ended up heading to L4D2 yet again. It was because of the cranky server in the previous LAN gaming shop that we ended up at Concorde Hotel. This time, we were proposed by another 4 gamers to play versus game, and we were well worn out thereafter. We were brutally slaughter, I might add. It was great fun, and a great end to a Friday night which would otherwise be disastrous. *** Woke up to a Saturday with my mum being fabulously nice, which surprised me no end. The evening was a rush to head out to town after Minibean’s nap for Priya’s wedding, and it was a small scale but very cosy affair. The bride and groom seems really blissful, and Minibean was just fascinated with the Indian songs and dance segment, and we were clueless about some of the dialogues since we didn’t understand Tamil. Minibean loves the Poppadom! After the dinner, bumped into Weipen at another wedding, and after ending the night, it was L4D2 again, what’s new? I ended up using a Tampon for the first time ever in Singapore, because I didn’t want any disruptions to my L4D2! Hahahahaha. It was a long night, and I returned when dad was just leaving for work and we had a good talk just before he left. I heard mum stirring in the middle of the night and then went into the darkness of her room and then started having one of the best talks we ever had. Though the result is to keep her happy, it is going to be draining on my bank account since I gonna breach my shopping ban to get her what she wants for her birthday. Hmmm. But I told her, we are all doing our best to keep her happy, as long as she allows us to and loosen up a little. It was a half hour talk, with me lying next to Minibean and Minibean reaching out to grip tightly to my finger with her small hands (no longer tiny) and put it on her chest as she slept while my mum and I were talking. I was also telling my mum more about myself, my past jobs, my plans, and the things she had always assumed but never understood. It was then late and I left the room feeling much better that I did the talk, and excited at the thought of buying her birthday gift. I am also thinking of holding a small party for her, since it has been a long while we have had any kind of birthday celebration at home. Watched some How I Met Your Mother and I stayed up to do some researches on the wardrobe I wanna get, and some other information. I ended up getting so hyped I didn’t manage to sleep till it was early morning. *** 7 February 2010 (Phew!) Sunday! It was a new day with me feeling a little tired but good overall with the talk I had with my mum, and it set my priorities and got me more focused. Didn’t rush out to Ikea in time, and the thought of the crowd was quite put-offing. Ended up heading over to Minibean’s grandparents’ place for dinner after we packed some food at Chomp Chomp, and it was a nice home to return to after dinner, cos dad was home, and my mum returned shortly after with some dim sum. I left without Minibean making a fuss to Elizabeth Hotel to catch the Arsenal V Chelsea match, and my Arsenal day pass, would perhaps be the only day I would ever be supporting Arsenal, and what a disappointing one it was. Jaywalk sent me home despite it being not along the way, and I got back to a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother… and feeling most of the hormones easing off. Woohoo! *** Maybe the mundane recording of what I did, who I met seems pretty the usual, but I believe many of the people, the things I saw, the feelings I felt, are not reflected in the words, but knowing the mental pictures that are evoked with what I had jotted down here, only I, and some may know the memories tagged to them. For that, I just want to say, it had been a much pleasurable week, that despite all the torment by the hormones, everything is well worth it The start of something new The past week had been a clash of timing for me to really get into the swing of giving this space of mine a little CPR. Even though I had plans to do so today, a terrible bout of cramp and migraine had imprisoned me in my bed, curled up like a shrimp, and hardly able to sit up. I switched 1001 positions just to get a little bit more comfortable, but all I gotten out of them, were endless weird dreams after another. But honestly, I wouldn’t say it was all bad, because, honestly, this was perhaps one of those dreams that.. played with my senses to the extent that, hey, I really wouldn’t mind existing in that world and make it my real world, however warped that sounds. I think the human senses are mightily amazing. And the mind, is nothing short of devastatingly powerful. I have come to the end of my hormones-tormented phase today, though it had eased off the emotional part, it didn’t ease on the physical part. As I rolled around in bed and dozing off, I slipped into quite an amazing dream. Quite exhausting, I might add. Much of the bits and pieces of it are pretty hazy, but I remember waking up from it because it was getting too much for me, yet when I slipped back to unconsciousness, the dream seemed to take a life of its own, and ended up continuing itself. I think I was one of ‘em vampires in the Twilight-inspired dream. Albeit a localized version one. I remember some usual faces of people around my life, and we were in track pants and all, hanging out. In buildings that are perhaps those you find in US, or just unfortunately, in my imagination. Lotsa concrete building, and a sports hall. And I remember “discovering” my gift for my speed, agility, and ability to look up a tall building, my speed would be enough to bring me up there, not unlike flying. So yes, it was like Twilight plus Heroes, plus a tinge of Superman. Some one was staring at me, and as I was worried about my cover being blown (it is a dangerous world out there you know?), I was apprehensive of trying. Yet, the someone came over and taught me how to, before I realised, he too, was “one of us“, and from the look of his, it is truly a lonely world out there. And then I managed to “fly” up the building as I tried hard to focus. Okay, here comes the amazing part of the dream. In the dream, I remember wondering what if I failed, but I did take off, and I was assured that nothing will happen except plenty of embarrassment, since I can’t possibly, uhm, die (in the dream, that is). So I tried looking up the building. And I remember that feeling very well. You know how when you take roller coaster rides and how gravity-defying it felt? I felt that vividly in my dream. I could feel the quickened breath, the drop of the heart (okay, fine, I know vampires heart don’t work anymore, but duh), and the wind in my hair, and that split second, I was up on the building despite my fear of heights. I then realised I need to train to get used to my new skills and to control it. And then from then, I started hanging out with my “group”. I remember there was this another instance, though I was in the dream, I got hungry. And I was lamenting how sad it was cos the food I usually take no longer appeal to me. AND THEN! Even though it was in the dream, I suddenly smelled something irresistible, and made me incredibly hungry. Then a group of men walked by. I held my breath, then I tried to take a strong breath in just to decipher what was that delicious, sweet smile was. I was trying to make sense of new things that appealed to my senses, and those that no longer trigger my senses. I didn’t do anything to them cos the thought repulsed me, though some of the others of my kind ran away cos the temptation was too great. Then there was this part some guys were trying to find trouble with us, and fight us. And having someone with bad temper in the group, we had to do all we can to control him so he does not do a “Jasper” ala New Moon. Think one of the guy accidentally touched me, and he had a rude shock when I didn’t feel like human, and I just turned around to shoot him a stern stare before walking away. There are many other bits I don’t remember but I remember trying to hide away from someone hostile, and I ended up doing the running onto top of the building thing again. But cos I was so fast, no one quite saw me, and again, I felt the flying feeling in my dream. I think my obsession with Twilight vampires had reached a whole new level, but it was the most fun dream I ever had, though I probably was annoyed with feeling the suppression of appetite throughout my dream. And I woke up at least 5 times in between, but it just went on and on and on. It was those dreams that felt incredibly real, and you feel as though you had really lived it. *** And yes, it was just a dream. *** I think the groove is back, and so be ready for the tirade of posts to come. And the new things that will kick start a very exciting year, I believe. And with the new opportunities knocking, I am apprehensive, but looking forward. Life is about experiencing, and year 2010, will be one about experiences February Apologies to the down time, this hosting issue is getting annoying and besides me, quite a handful of other bloggers are facing the same problem. Bah. Nonetheless, it is a real bummer cos I got the “feeling” back to recap a pretty relaxing and enriching start to 2010. Uhm, as well as the last half of December 2009. But now, I am just happy to watch Manchester United play from the comfort of my bed (th0ugh I could imagine being raped by the hordes if I had turned up at the opposing team’s home town if I cheered). I joked to Jay that I ain’t making my way down (when the match just started) cos I was afraid I might miss the goals Manchester United was going to score soon. Shortly after, woohoo, they did. I joked I ain’t gonna risk missing 2nd half goals to make my way down, and I am real smart to stay put. WOOHOOOOO. So much to catch up hor? Like many other things I set out to do I only completed 1/4. It has been a lovely week. More to accomplish in the next! Good days I see the serious lack of serious blogging, and I kinda miss it. These days been pretty occupied and I had some pretty much fabulous company. The guys are great and hilarious, and I should really cease on the late nights, which pretty much wouldn’t go on much longer since I have plans coming up and they would be leaving Singapore for good during midweek. Till then, I am surprise how we do live our lives vicariously through others, and it has been nothing short of enriching. Some work stuff today before pole before meeting up with the guys. I am seriously missing something here. Be back soon. Snooze fest & mother of all migraines Oops. I really didn’t quite update often did I? The past few days had been pretty fun, after meeting up with some overseas friends and getting plenty of laughs from their stories. And trust me, looking at all those gorgeous pictures they had taken from all over the world, man, I nearly wanted to throw their cameras back at them cos I AM THAT JEALOUS. Strangely, none of the places they had been to hold the much mentioned names, and it is just amazing how those hidden gems exist without much fanfare. The world is really so big that we are missing out darn lots. Thursday: Had drinks with Felicia. Pick Minibean up. Back to home. Jurong Point to pick couple of lads up. Head to Tiong Bahru for late night crabs. Car ride around Singapore. Stop by Mount Faber. Drinks at St James. It was 4am when they were sent back to the on-the-other-end-of-the-world Tuas. Got home. Play Left 4 Dead 2 on Xbox 360. 7am. Sleep. Friday. Woke up at 12 noon. Had lunch. Feeling unwell. Slept. Woke up at 5pm. Unwell. Continued to nap. Woke up at 8pm. Okay. Time to move my ass. Bugis. Steamboat. The rest reached at 10pm. New people. Shy. Funny conversations. Clarke Quay at midnight. Teaching someone to spite his “crazy girlfriend”. Evil people we were. 3 + am. Streetlights gave migraine. Went straight to sleep. Woke up to bright lights. Migraine was horrible. Stayed in bed. Woke up. Drifted back to sleep. Took a celebrax at 1pm when the migraine was still not slept off. It was finally 5ish in the noon. Headed out. Pictures to follow. Left for another house party. Migraine returned with a vengeance. Took another Celebrax (though need to take only 12 hours later). Felt the need to lie down. Pain was too much. Begged for painkillers from the host. HOHOHO, so happy happy made the entire tab of Tramadol mine. Drifted to sleep when I got high from Tramadol on the couch. REEEEEELLLAAAAAAXXXXXX. Despite all the pills, the migraine didn’t go away fully. First time the migraine is so stubborn. 24 hours forth, still nagging. Still, feels the need for L4D2. Tramadol fixed it well. Unfortunately journey home, the streetlamps giving me mother of all headaches again. Got home. Better. Now blogged. Feels like bimbo. Texas Holdem on Facebook. Pictures editing. Lalalala. Okay, goodnight. I will survive “At first I was afraid… I was petrified…” Kept thinking I will never live till the time help arrives. I spent oh-so many bullets, thinking how you still don’t die. I grew strong, I learned how to carry on. So you’re not dead, from the graves. I just walked in to find you everywhere, with that menace on your face. I should have changed my stupid weapon, I should have healed myself back in time If I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me Okay, fine I grew lame. BUT I SURVIVED THE BOTH TIMES WHEN WE CONQUERED THE PARISH AND AND AND… the other one I cannot remember. Damn happy can? Plentifooooooooooooooooo of happy happy. Cos I finally survived the campaign, and ah hah! TWICE! Though I am as clumsy as I am in gameplay and as in real life. So. Didn’t manage to go Butter today cos a friend from overseas lost his phone and the whole unpleasant saga had meant the plans for today were all scrapped. I feel terribly bad for them cos their first intimate experience with Singapore was just.. crappy. And I also feel many many terribleness to Andrew who had very kindly guestlisted my friends and we weren’t able to turn up. It was pretty sucky, and luckily the evening was saved with wonderful company! Went to salsa. WOOHOO! Last lesson! And I managed to finally muster what I couldn’t. Plentifooooooooooo of laughs. We are so critical of the chaps who are dancing as if we were critiquing their sexual prowess and moves. This guy who reminded me of the huggable ex of mine had managed a flying pass! Things with mum had great improvement. My 2010’s main resolution had worked so fine so far Spent the entire day building dreams in the air, and was pretty happy lah. Of course, the agreed hour of L4D2 was expanded from 9.30pm to 1.45am, so I was awesomely pleased too. AND I SURVIVED ALL THE CAMPAIGNS TODAY! CALL ME MELEE WEAPON QUEEN! I love my axe and katana and machete, frying pan is not for me. The gore! The blood! And was watching CSI earlier and it was all about KATANA! And this warehouse in the episode reminded me of the numerous warehouses I navigated (BLEARGH to motion sickness). I tell you, it is all destiny! Don’t know why everytime play online games we will end up debrief with such enthusiasm that it gives a real high. I thought this was gonna be a 2 sentence post, and see where the adrenaline led me to? And yes, that is the reason why I haven’t been here. BAH. OKOK I try tomorrow…. Linus I think I was a bit slow to realise what was really going on. Like I am part of it then ah, yet I don’t know what is going on and then ah, eh, orh it is like that. Honestly I was quite taken aback by the sheer audacity of it all. But anyway, it was indeed quite disgusting. And the funny crushes stories are quite hilarious. *** I think it is pure torture I am putting myself through with Pole dance 2, cos I simply do not have the grace, energy nor the balancing skills for it hahahaha. My thighs are incredibly pain and it was quite a sight seeing all of us trying to “cool down” our thighs and walking about not unlike a duck. Had an incredibly girlie-time with Jiali. I think one of the most amazing thing about pole dance is we ended up meeting up much more often, and our session at Miss Clarity was a nice one. Ended up on a car ride around Singapore and a supper session at Lau Pat Sat (where my efforts of coercing the others to join me in my quest to save the world went down the drains) before returning home to How I Met You Mother. The night didn’t seem to end with the threesome with 2 gorgeous ladies and the funny stories exchanged. It also roused the older memories, which prompted to an even longer night - I felt I didn’t need the sleep. A morning call with Siren did make things better. Which was just apt when the maintenance works to the house begun in the morning. With all the cleaning, mopping and clearing the atrocious amount of dust, I suddenly realise I REALLY NEED A WARDROBE. Maybe a lil couch and a carpet in the room where I can roll around with Minibean. Now I am without curtains and I feel kinda exposed, and there is an urge of me not wanting to give a damn and just prance around the room naked because wearing proper clothes in my room is just OFF. *** I think I drifted off topic, had wanted to make this a short post because a friend of mine had lost her cat, and she is now anxiously looking for her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to find it and I know she is feeling damn upset. I am not sure what other ways I can help, so I do hope if anyone of you staying in the east, particularly Marine Terrace area, do help to keep a lookout. Missing small white cat with grey patches, grey striped tail & brown mouth, last seen in Marine Terrace. http://tiny.cc/linus1 Linus is not a street cat and might not cope with outdoors, please help to find her soon. If anyone does see it, please leave some information here so that it can be passed on, thank you so much! Invictus - Unconquered I think that explains. Watching a movie that didn’t define us, but had described our fate. *** The Saturday I looked forward to didn’t quite happen. The massage which they didn’t go, and the pieces of garments which I had meant to shrunk didn’t get to the tailor’s. I don’t quite enjoy town area, and I still don’t. I ended up sitting outside Far East, enjoyed my bubble red tea, and get all blurry-eyed as I stared emptily into the space. It was that moment, an hour plus into it, when I decided the clutter I no longer want, and deleted everything from my phone. Thousands of them, from various people, many people. I must have deleted some of those with important information inside, but uhm, oh well, nevermind. But it makes me conscientiously delete those new incoming messages before they build up until it becomes such a tedious job to tidy them anymore. Then I stood up, and walked away. *** Met up with Siren and I thought we could utilise the 2 hours prior to the movie to well, save the world. Alas, the walk around the area proved to be exhausting and unfruitful, and it left little time for us to save the world. So, we piled on the carbs with some suppering. Not forgetting exchanging horror stories of frightening, hair-raising nature, as well as those laughing-out-loud nature ones. *** What’s wrong with me with all the fatigue and exhaustion, that makes me feel a perpetual need to prop my feet up or else I feel breathlessness? *** Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. — William Ernest Henley What a poem. What a movie. *** Many emotions ran through me as I sat through the movie. For those who know me well, I don’t like to find out too much what the movies I watching are about, unless, those adapted from the books I already read. I did know the show was good from people’s recommendations, and it was Nelson Mandela related (seriously, who can pass this up?). And with Morgan Freeman (and that would mean the reminiscing on one of the most brilliant movies made - Shawshank redemption), Matt Damon (Talented Mr Ripley, another of my favourite), and behind-the-camera Clint Eastwood (I bawled watching Gran Torino, what do you think?!), did I hear bonus already? I didn’t know what the movie was going to be about, nor did I know about the plot. Heck, I wasn’t even really aware it was about, rugby. But the movie gripped me from the start, to the end. I didn’t even know that more than 2 hours had passed cos the movie was THAT compelling. It wasn’t long into the movie that I felt moved in a way that built its way up throughout the movie. It is not exaggerated for me to say that I had tears rimming my eyes throughout the movie, which had me walking out telling Siren how I think I was being hormonal cos the emotional impact the movie had on me. Apparently I was being “normal” cos Miss Cynical agreed with me. Phew. The movie got us and the chaps talking for a while in the car, and it is a fantastic movie that you should NOT miss. A message of incredible value to be told to the world, and to remind those who have forgotten. Of peace, of equality, of…. forgiveness. And it will be one of those films I will list down for Minibean to watch in the future (yes, I do have some kind of this list tuck away somewhere). I was particularly touched, when the soundtrack Colorblind was playing in the background, with the lyrics: And it’s not just a game You can’t throw me away I put all I had on the line And I give and you take And I played the high stakes I’ve won and I’ve lost But, I’m fine Hear me say I’ll rise up ’til the end Hear me say I’ll stand up for my friends And I crash to the ground And it’s just my own sound I drop in the blink of an eye I’m colorblind And your milky way fight Won’t stop my delight You keep me and lock me away And it’s dark and it’s bright It’s your colorful pride that kept me here 9000 days Hear me say I’ll see the sky again Hear me say I’ll drive for you my friend There’s a noise in the crowd But it’s just my own shout A stumble I fall and I pray Hear you say your eyes see green again In the end we’ll lived up holding hands Yes, we’ll spark in the night We’ll be colorblind And these are the lives we gave Hear me say I’ll rise up ’til the end Hear me say that I’ll stand beside my friends I won’t stay on the floor I will settle the score A stumble I fall and I pray Hear me say it’s time we stop talking Eye to eye we see a different face Yes we we’ve conquered the war With love at the core A stumble I fall, but I’ll stay Colorblind. The unyielding theme to the movie, and how strong the divide and tension was portrayed, and how everything melted away because of one man’s geniuses, foresight and big-heartedness… and it is beautiful to see people of different agendas from the start to have their doubts and cynicism washed away because of a leader who believes in setting an example and extended the grace of forgiveness to the Afrikaners - and convinced them with the assurances of the important roles they had to play post apartheid. At the end of the show, I don’t think I remember any divide of colours, as if everyone is an equal, like you and me. It had perhaps helped us to see beyond that. When people unite, hearts as one with their guards down, it is a picture of beauty. I know it is a bit off pace, but it is not unlike when you are in the stadium and you start hugging everything when your team scores. Think Manchester United V Chelsea in Moscow. -Smiles fondly at memory- I watched the rugby match with the same sweaty pump, and had my emotions manipulated even though the story was an ending anyone could predict. I mean, some critics say the film is predictable, but seriously! If it is a story inspired by real-life accounts, it gotta be predictable right?! Most importantly, it shows a person with heart, who had made a difference, because of his humility, and sincerity. Forgiveness liberates the soul, and removes fear, that is why it is such a powerful weapon. *** So many other movies I had wanted to catch. Mother. The Blind Side. Morgans. It’s Complicated. Brothers. New York, I love you. Oh, with The Lovely Bones coming up too. Nine. *** Yes, as I was saying, Invictus was perhaps aptly describing our fate, not defining us. It was 3am when we finally left the cinema, and hopped down to Peninsula to realise the LAN gaming centre does not have L4D2. SERIOUSLY?! We headed to Prinsep, where the 4 of us took on the world of zombies, and emerged looking like one of ‘em past 7am in the morning. We could still go on, but the uncle amongst us had decided to fly us kite like the way Siren (kudos to her, did it for the RIGHT reason) had done it the night before. The first round went pretty ideally at the amusement park, except for the fact that they 3 of them had safely escaped, leaving me to fend for myself as I was “Raped” by those zombies. I have to say again how much I love my melee weapons, and I seem to work the best with the katana and the axe so far. And I have no idea why my teammates always shouting and screaming for me, asking where I am, and no matter how I tried, I could never find or keep up with them. In a real life zombie-attack, I probably would be the first to perish, since I kept losing my way. Is it any surprise when the credits rolled and it said, “In memory of.. Scarlett Ting“? Pfft. And subsequently, despite hours after hours, rounds restarting after restarting, we never did manage to conquer past the 2nd map we played, even though it was on EASY mode. ROAR! And us shouting NBCB turned out to be quite demure and subdued with the rest of the people behind and around us going 10 times beyond that. We felt normal already! Damn high can?! We walked into the sun-lit sky feeling all the energy ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!, sapped up within seconds and it did feel like I was really raped(figuratively of course) by thousands of ‘em zombies and thus the chui-ness of it all. But I bet if you pull me back into the LAN shop and get me onto another map, I could probably spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious without missing a letter under 3 seconds cos my mind will be THAT sharp. Alas, didn’t happen, cos not enough kaki. So we walked out as cowards, wimps, underachievers, who did not conquer the infected in that map, FOR MANY TIMES. Boo! *** I went past the overhead bridge near my place on my way back, and the movement of the figures on it made me shot up from my lazy lean and my mind just seem to go into instinctive zero-ing in on my target, and how I would aim my gun and pull the trigger. Shudders. I remember having the same traits during my Battlefield 2 phase. It is not a good news that I went to sleep after HIMYM (yes, I even had the energy to continue on with that), and had several dreams about zombies and how I would go about killing zombies. I insist that I am having such dreams cos of severe deprivation and the utter sense of failure for not conquering the map which well, we fail to overcome. And then I dreamt about taking a boat ride with Minibean and forgotten to bring her home. DUH. *** Sunday was leisurely nice as we went to meet up with Suki who is in town for another visit, and we ended up having fabulous Peranakan food at PeraMakan at Keppel. Buah Keluak (Minibean loves it!), and finally my Pulot Hitam with Gula Melaka. Plenty of yums. Ian shot me a look and gave a laugh when he saw the amount of rice on my plate. Ahem. It was no good news I finished all that carb. It was just good that the guest enjoyed her food Minibean was excited, and her cough has became so phlegmy and she just manja-ed in my chest for a while before trying to tease and disturb me. She adores her jiejie Suki too. And her favourite these days is the story of Goldilocks and the three bears, and she can recite the story to every bit of the details. She is just so amazing. *** I love my prosperity burger and twister fries and iced tea, nevermind that one upsized meal suddenly doesn’t feel enough. Slurps. Burp! Finally HIMYM Season 4 is finished and onto season 5! Then it would be time to catch up all the fabulous movies I had missed in 2009. Gee, how about the Texas games and books I neglected? And the plenty of updates I had put off?! I need more time!! And the spontaneity I promised myself in twenty ten?! Tsk. Oh sheesh, is today my first lesson for Pole 2 already?! Bah. Woohoo, happy Monday! More meeting ups this week! In memory of…. .. the 3 who parished in the midst of shouts and screams of “HELICOPTER! HELICOPTER!“, “RUN! RUN! RUN! Don’t come back for us! RUN AND GET ON IT!” and “SHIT THEY GOT ME!” We burst out laughing after a vital shot of adrenaline, when the credits rolled with “In Memory Of…” Siren was the only one who made it out alive, and we didn’t really blame her for leaving her fallen comrades behind, much. Hahaha. Left4dead2 was a much celebrated affair last night after a spontaneous effort to find something to do which wouldn’t take too long since the guys need to work this morning, but we still ended up staying out past 2 am. It was a much better experience cos we were playing team and not versus, where the previous time I pretty much spent my time dying than playing. AND THE AXE ROCKS BALLS LAH! GIMME A CROWBAR ANYTIME! I found myself forsaking the pistols and fell in love with the axe. AWESOME (say it Barney style)! I justified my constant falling off the slopes and edges of buildings to the fact that they chose all the cool looking characters and left the meaty coach to me, and I found myself having troubles walking through the doors. I insist it is not my poor key navigation skills. The headphones are there to protect the other users, so they will not hear us scream, squeal, swear, rain threats and lose faith in human race. So yes, we are supposed to play Texas Hold’em today, but then, with Thai massage in the agenda, followed by dinner, Invictus in the theatres at midnight, and L4D2 thereafter, I think Texas Hold’em would need to take a backseat another day. *** I dragged my sorry ass out of home yesterday to have dinner with the group at Bugis Fish & Co. It was kinda funny when we were talking about ANG POWS. Ahem, well ya know? We later wandered around and it became a night of guns and weapons. Make me miss the Battlefield 2 days, really. And the night was wrapped up nicely with How I Met Your Mother, before my insomnia kept me awake, and I started to douse myself with sad and depressing news. But. A couple of friends from London will be here tomorrow, and then another group of people from difference places of the world will be here from 18th to 28th (though probably will meet them for a short bit), and the evenings will be much filled with food, food, and more glorious food and exploring places which we have long overlooked since they are keen to do all the touristy things. *** You know how ups and downs could co-exist ever so often even within minutes? I was just so looking forward to the Saturday and thought how brilliant it is going to be when I suddenly received news from a work friend that her brother-in-law had passed away suddenly due to heart failure. Life is indeed unpredictable, as we mourned the fact that what we did, and what we didn’t do, and there will be no 2nd chances to make things right. Yeap, no regrets, they don’t work. And sometimes, it still needs that bit of courage for us to, well, get out of the comfort zone to do the thing we always wanted to do. Doctors without Borders in Haiti No words can describe the emotions the pictures of the devastation and grim reports brought forth, and if you have read the reports (I couldn’t stop fighting back the tears while staring at the picture of the father holding his girl, she must have been Minibean’s age?), seen the pictures, you would understand. My prayers are with the people of Haiti, as well as the trained personnels who are involved helping out with the rescue, and reconstruction work. Haiti is a country that was already plagued by poverty prior to the earthquake, and this quake is the worst disaster it has experienced in 2 centuries, and had demolished important structures like hospitals and agencies that are crucial to rescue and humanitarian works. Even its control tower is destroyed, which makes rescue teams from other countries finding it a challenge to rush into the city to provide relief. And it makes me fume that while the world is trying to help, its own people are trying to rob the victims. With the flood of dangerous criminals out on street after the prisons caved in… all and all.. and the people stranded on the streets with no medical help, Haiti is looking at threats of the aftermath of the shake. Everything is reportedly to be in chaos. Not forgetting asswipes like this, who make such disgraceful statements that remind me why shameful incidents in my motherland exist. Many people in the world had been pouring with requests to volunteer their physical help, but the only people they require are people with expertise in the field of relief work, and that leaves people like you and me, to help in the most practical way - by donation. There are a few organizations that are helping, and I narrowed down to a few important ones after reading on the reports. It is just heartbreaking. With their health care systems in ruins, and hospitals collapsed, the most important and essential thing is to provide medical aid, get them better, and eventually reconstructing their lives. The number of people who needs help, is almost equivalent to Singapore’s entire population and for a country that was already requiring help prior to the catastrophe, it isn’t going to be easy for them to cope. We have seen South East Asia recovered from the awfully tragic Tsunami, and it wouldn’t have been possible if not for international help. Doctors without Borders have 800 ground staff and more on the way into Haiti as emergency response to help with the rescue efforts, and several reports have cited how Doctors without Borders are trying to operate at 2 hospitals and setting up inflatables to replace the other medical facilities lost. Doctors without Borders, or Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) is an independent humanitarian medical aid organisation. We are committed to providing medical aid where it is most needed, regardless of race, religion, politics or gender and also to raising awareness of the plight of the people we help. They were operating in Haiti before the quake, and had clinics and hospitals set up. Unfortunately, some of them were considerably wrecked, and with some staff injured, it is also a mission they are struggling to cope with right now. The operations need to be sustained, because they are pillar of support for the helpless people on the streets. People are just helplessly wandering around on the streets, because they could go no where, and when the staff pass by, the people will plead them to treat the injured. They are also the hope for the people to cling onto dearly. And with more to start from scratch for this, I believe a donation would be the best you and me can help. You can follow their efforts with the sites of different countries, and the illustration of what they do with the money collected. I don’t know who are still reading, but wherever you are in the world, do contribute to whatever cause you believe in to help the victims in Haiti to rebuild their lives, their homes, and their country. DONATION CAN BE MADE HERE Woops I hadn’t realised how long I have been neglecting this space, but there are just so much mindless things to do that I haven’t even got the time to start on my books yet. Kinda feels like a dead town here. Will try to spice up this space… say, uhm, tomorrow, when I finally can sort out some of the house maintenance works. Things have been alright, peaceful, and the direction is clearer, with the blatant signs raying in. And quite excited about hosting some new friends who are gracing our shores next week. *Beams* What is there to do in Singapore, really? Seems like I jam pack quite a bit of stuff in my recommendations, and I probably will be seeing them for just a couple of days during their pretty long stay (relative to land area, laughs) here. I am looking forward to the food to come, and probably, though unlikely, the Texas Hold’em sessions to come. In other news, I lost 200k worth of chips at the Texas Hold’em table. Only consolation is, I didn’t lose as much on the cruise, and that it is just on Facebook. Now you know why I am not here. Tsk! And…. .. Tonight is a night I wonder badly where you are, and how you are. I wish I know what really happened.. and that some day, to see you again. *** Finally met up with Siren after the busy girl finally had time to meet up/talk to me on Tuesday night after we had a heartland session in Kovan’s Hong Kong cafe and doused her in a great deal of cruise stories, and my tampon sagas. It was just for an hour of meet up after dinner with Minibean and a cosy evening in of home cooked food, to return to give Minibean a goodnight kiss and hug, which lingered and became a long session of snuggling, cuddling and patting. I am not sure what’s with the emotions, but in the dimmed room, when she burrowed into my embrace, I felt such an urge to cry when she rattled on with her baby talk. Where had my baby gone? I am just so proud of her. Warm and fuzzy. *** I wonder how I managed salsa today after missing the crux of it after 2 weeks of absence, and that’s why I seriously didn’t manage well. But I had a good laugh with the chaps in my class (HAHAHAHAHA!). Not with the muscle aches too (finally graduated from my 1st pole dance class on Monday! Advancing on!). Felt some kind of loneliness today that can’t be expressed. And as always it was compensated by endless rattlings of mindless stuff, but when you need to dig for the depth of it, nothing quite came out. Maybe it was the talk my beautician had with me. Maybe it was just trying to search for news of a friend but his determination of leaving no trace.. was too hard to fight. Maybe it was just.. looking helplessly on from the sidelines, and then not wanting to entangle in the midst, but perhaps I had. Maybe there was a slight guilt, I wouldn’t call it betrayal, but then somehow when caught between truth, and accountability.. I find myself not able to lie even though it could be have been the better option. Maybe it was just low morale, though there isn’t any need to. I know I sound quite excited *points* up there for the new things to come, the fact is I am quite thrilled, yet at the same time, I am quite apprehensive. Sitting by the harbour side after dinner at Vivocity, was quite some quiet, chilling time. And we mentioned about weddings, and despite the thick cynicism, I find it quite sad that I actually… still believe in fairytales, just not for myself lah, but for others, and that’s why I always got so excited for those couples I am just so happy to see getting hitched. Then the email from overseas guests came in, and then suddenly I could think of so many things to do in Singapore. Ubin? Blading? Batam? Bodyworlds? On top of the other things we had discussed haha. And of course, we spoke of the beauty of winter… I wanna see aurora. .. and I thought of the article on Oulanka I read on NatGeo, and the beauty of the wilderness. Mysterious. Intriguing. Very the high and orgasmistic now! Eh, suddenly feels better already! Ting’s VLL #3 - Don’t be blinded I woke up today feeling the same lethargy which has bugged me and I kinda blamed it on the lack of good, proper sleep. I put on my glasses and found my vision impaired, especially on my left eye. I closed my left eye and found my right eye slightly blurred, but still coping with pretty alright vision, but when I do the reverse, my left eye was obviously screwed. I rubbed my left eye, squinted a little and my vision got better for a split second, before the warped vision returned. Dang. Must be yet another infection, since my left eye pretty much got swollen and painful onboard of the cruise on the 3rd day of my holiday. Feeling darn grouchy, spurred on by the cumbersomeness of squinting my eyes ever so often as I pored the news today, I closed my eyes to rest them most of the time, and wondered if I could even make it for my final pole lesson today, which was a mini-showcase of what we had learnt. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed my left eye particularly, and sometimes when my right eye’s vision got blurred, I rubbed it too. I even took my glasses off cos they were starting to give me a headache. Strangely, when I popped in my contacts, the pain I was anticipating didn’t exist. And the tweets and phonecalls when I lamented about how my vision is fucked, and makes me hardly had any mood to stay online and do the things I was supposed to do. I even tweeted this: “Something’s not doing right to my left eye. Its vision with glasses, is as bad as without. Without glasses it is -6.5, so now, it is -13?!“ Basically, I felt my vision was quite bad, and it was as if my degree on my left eye had doubled. I ended up closing one eye perpetually, and joked maybe it was a sign for me to learn to close one eye. And amazingly, when I popped in my contacts, my vision was alright though my eyes were a little dry. So off I went for my class which I had intended to skip due to my vision, hoping the blurred vision doesn’t return. Pretty alright, and I officially graduated from pole dance class! Yay! Our little impromptu showcase shows that we still have the telepathy-ness from years ago, and it was plenty of good laugh and excitement when we finished the entire song without prior choreography. Love that chick We left the place for dinner, though we were appalled when we asked our dance mates to join us, and all of them declined with the reason, “no food after 8pm!!!!“ I feel guilty already. Especially I couldn’t resist ordering McDee’s after watching season 4 of How I Met Your Mother, and it was something about…. wait for it…. BURGER. Prosperity burger and twister fries at 2am. Tell me, seriously, what’s wrong with the equation here? Anyway, Jiali and I then headed to Balestier for Boon Tong Kee, while exchanging our travel stories (we missed our previous class because of our trips), and me also brought up about the issue about my eyes since I had texted her earlier. Got back, showered, and a friend asked if my eyes were getting better since I told her earlier that my ailments don’t seem to stop. So I went to shower, and saw a pair of glasses (since I was still wearing lenses) which don’t belong to me at the sink. After I washed my hair, I went on a hunt for my glasses, which were found underneath my bed. I wore it and MY PERFECT VISION RETURNED. My contact lens are so miraculous! As I walked back into my room, I stopped in my tracks along the corridor… and something struck me. I turned round and took the pair of glasses I saw….. ………… and I put in on. And my impaired vision returned. Then the revelation hit me with a big “ORHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” NAHBEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG! I was wearing someone else’s glasses all day and that’s why my vision was impaired since the degree was -3.00 on the left, and my left vision is -6.75. ROOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! GOT MORE STUPID THAN ME OR NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Seriously, I awe myself, and I think I put the “awe” in the “awesome”. It was damn anti-climatic lah. And so I am now typing this post with my perfect vision restored by my trusty pair of glasses, and giggling at how silly I truly am. I was thinking of heading to the doc’s, and I am just glad that I hadn’t realised it only after spending that much at the clinic. Words cannot express how happy I am to have my perfect vision back. Hohoho. So Valuable Life’s Lesson #3 - When everything seems unclear, don’t close one eye, check you vision, or maybe it is time to change your glasses. Rejuvenated I think this might be the longest time since I have gone without journalling anything down, and it was all for a fantastic reason - a much needed break that I was kinda dreading to go, and as always when I lower my expectations, I find the pleasant surprises that made the trip an incredibly enjoyable one. I am saying that despite trying out almost every casino table, and losing at every game, and perhaps the biggest loser of all throughout the trip, and it still doesn’t taint the trip. In fact, I think I had the most enjoyable time in the casino, and that.. will be another story altogether when I finally repay my 1001 other photo/blogdebts. And then the unexpected monthly hormonal flow that made me succumb to tampons throughout the trip, and it created 265673 other questions whenever I pulled it out and stared at it and getting morbidly fascinated and grossed out at the same time. There is also the quality time spent with Minibean, who displayed the very much worst of her princessy-ness, and yet seeing her so filled with smiles and getting hyped and excited over everything… plenty of the sweetness. Yes, the break. Not exactly the break I was looking forward to, but somehow I found answers. Met fabulous people. Mostly casino croupiers. I nervously joked that it isn’t a good sign when croupiers greet you with that familiarity because you had hung around the casino tables once too often throughout the trip after the lil one was put to sleep. I am still not a fan of cruises, but still a mega fan of activities and doing things I have never explored or done before. And yes, let me go take a break from my holiday (can be damn tiring you know! The unpacking, the light laundry after the dark washes, and the dust and all!), and I shall be back with more, slowly paying back my blogdebts, which probably will be a damn good idea to stay home to repay the gambling debts I owe my bank account! Last n0te: I think my television is mocking my fate, discovery channel is now sh0wing a feature of casinos. Do I hear my destiny beckoning? Hohoho. I am just somehow awesomely glad to be back. I will miss the gorgeous sunsets, fabulous people, star-lit skies, and the little adventures that got me out of my comfort zones. And that….. impeccable sense of freedom. How liberating. Best part? Though I did have a bad, bad course of internet withdrawal (I was okay to live without my phone for the 6 days, just not without my internet connection!), I managed to resist it even when I was inside an internet cafe in Phuket, and chose other activities over it. I was too lazy when I was in KL port, and decided to stay onboard and sleep instead. I refused to give into USD 22 bucks of internet usage for half an hour onboard, and I am incredibly proud to say… I SURVIVED! Wanderlust, needs another sensous, mind-tingling stimulation. A fab start to the decade The start of this new decade kicked off with plenty of awesomeness. I felt no pressure to have any kind of celebration to lead the new year in, and was pretty much contended staying home on a lazy Thursday afternoon when the world out there was buzzing with activities. Nonetheless, the spontaneity juiced everything up, and I did head out, and had quite an interesting evening, away from the sea of people. So all’s good. And the best prize to usher the new year in? I got my taste bud back! I could taste the egg, cheese and sausage in my Sausage egg McMuffin this morning, and it was plenty of goodness. You have no idea how the past week was a torture when my appetite remained huge, but I could taste nothing to satisfy those cravings. :D All the reasons to smile. And woke up only at 5pm this evening, to a dreary, cosy weather, and felt good to be enveloped at home, in a hue of grey. Did absolutely nothing but to catch up with people, and catching up with news. Good to know it was peaceful with no major attacks anywhere in the world. BUT THE POINT OF THIS POST IS TO WAX LYRICAL ABOUT VICTORIA’S SECRET! I was bored, thinking what to have for dinner, and decided to track my newest parcel, which I just blogged about few days ago. So this time round, as I said, I had made massive use of the free international shopping code and VS is sending the parcel to me via UPS. They had indicated that the parcel would reach me, estimated-ly, by 27th January. The parcel was sent on the 30th Dec, when my credit card payment all went through smoothly. So I went into UPS, I got slightly surprised when it says it would reach me by 1st February. Then, I thought. EH! THIS IS AMERICAN DATE FORMAT, IT MEANS, OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! It is reaching me on 2nd January, which is, GASP GASP(!!), tomorrow! And it has already reached Hong Kong, transiting to Singapore. I TELL YOU! HAPPY UNTIL CAN CRY LOR! I mean, got more orgasmic than this or not? What an euphorgasmic surprise on the first day of 2010! I had thought I would want to wait for my jacket for plans, and then now I could bring it forward! Best part is that I had ordered another piece of bikini which means it would be just in time for the cruise! I am lovin’ it already :) Compare to Vpost, which took, like, pfft, what? One month to reach me? Suck it up! F.O.U.R. days, baybeh! Vpost had lost Jing & Jo’s parcel too and it still hadn’t reached them. And it was supposed to be Jing’s present and they gave the same crap excuses as they gave me! Frustrating or not? And it is over new year holidays, how could that be possible? VS, you must be fuckin’ kiddin’ me! The thought of it just gives me leg-buckling quivers. FREE SHIPPING ONE SOMEMORE, YOU KNOW? Did I even mention my parcel is a hefty F.O.U.R. kilograms? You got an impressed, loyal fan in me now, VS. -thumps chest- Plenty of hearts-ness. Twenty 10 I think this post is pretty much obligatory, like today a lot of people updating blogs (even those who hadn’t for eons!) simply because it is the end of the year, and it just seems fitting for something to bookend the year. In fact, in my grogginess after dousing the cough syrup, I thought about what I would write, then you know how the feeling of “highness” and you think about the most atrocious things? The funny images came and went, and before I knew it I couldn’t think straight and my mind told myself, “ai yah, just another day, I need to sleeeeeeeeeep” and went on cuddling my chow chow and blissfully drifted off again. It is almost 5pm, and here I am with unbrushed teeth and probably with awesome breaths, suddenly finding myself typing this post with no pre-consideration to what I would write about this. Actually, I don’t feel anything quite special, perhaps knowing how every year had ended and passed with such fanfare, and it feels like a diary I have finished using the pages, and I am now writing the last page of it, before going on to the next one. I revisit my “2008 diary” mentally and it seems I had everything falling into my laps. Yes, 2009 was eventful, relatively to 2008, many would have said it is a bad year. A year where people around me had their hearts broken, including my own. But at the same time, it was also in 2009 when I saw amazing things happening, and perhaps that’s the silver lining of it all, the worst will bring out the best. I see blessings, I see recoveries, I see strength and grace in people, I see gorillas (haha!) and popeyes, I see people finding their well-deserved happiness after grief, I see  people forgive, I see people finding peace in the storm, I see true friendship when I saw her almost crying, and hey, I see Rome, Pompeii, Halong Bay and Phantom! And 2009 had its extreme bads and unnecessary drama, meeting people I would rather not meet, dealing with friends the way I shouldn’t have, and choose to rather go to the extremes than to make a decision, I still have yet to master the act of making a decision. I have spur of the moment reactions which I ain’t proud of, which I could look back and chuckle and wish that would never happen again. I think I am just glad I have the ability to simmer and forget fast, not in the forget totally, but like everything, it comes and goes. Like what a colleague with strong character said, “I believe with time, a lot of things will go away. What everyone needs, is time.” With time, some things did go away, some did not. Some acquaintances become friends, or even the guy with the BO you loathed most in high school can become your best friend after he forgave you for mocking at him and getting over the grudge. Or even the friend who had been there for more than a decade became the very person who makes you feel like the guy with the BO in high school. I remember I was discussing with someone about revenges, “Do if it makes you feel better, but at the end of it, what do you really want to get out of it? Being indifferent to anyone who feels affected by you is perhaps the best you can do cos you stop giving the attention they craved, yet they are the ones who are still expecting your world to revolve around them. With so many things in life since we were young, it takes only time for things and people to be indifferent. How many times and years of clashes with people, and yet when meet again few years down the road, you can feel no animosity and smile and talk? Sure it sucks in the beginning, or there are some who will still bear grudges, but that’s not for you to control. That indifference is also your own personal victory of overcoming it cos you just shrug your shoulders when it happens, bitch about it, but it doesn’t really eat you up like it would when it is fresh or what others had wish it to do to you.” Time, is all people need, and I am glad to say that 2009 had been graceful with me with time. All this too, shall pass. And with forgiveness, it brings peace. Have I forgot the bads totally? My mega memory serves me till I 5 years old leh, but good thing is I forget much of the pain that comes together with it. Good and bad. Good is, they can’t bug me much, bad is, you know how people say women are structured to forget about labour pains so they would go through with it again? Honestly, I can’t remember how painful it was, but I can remember it was painful la, so it is like there is a chance for stupidity to occur again. Like seriously duh right? Have I forgive? I try to do so every single day, and perhaps reading Bible verses (yes I know so preachy, just bear with me lah) helps (who is the one who sign me up for the daily updates one ah?!), cos it is not a matter of “He/She does that maybe because -insert excuse-….” and I try to make it sound better and feel better about it. It became “He/She does that because -insert worst scenarios-” and call a spade a spade, as bad as it is, and go all the way to say, despite this, I forgive. Don’t know how to explain ah, but it kinda expands and broadens your threshold, by confronting reality, yourself, and eventually, forgives, and you feel that peace and indifference. And what I remember of 2009 is actually a lot of the goods, maybe I do realise that with the worst, I did see some of the very best in people despite seeing the very worst. I think it is the same case for me too. Thus, I wish everyone well, and I don’t nor do I believe in wishing anyone ill. Even you Mrs Kp, laughs, you might not like me, but I do believe I will be very happy for you for the goods in your life. It does make life hopeful with all the fluffiness and all! Still, there are certain tact I need to learn to manage people and heh heh heh, stay out of trouble. And I still need to overcome the social inaptness and the esteem issues that had prevented me to do a few important things for the fear of rejection. But I awe myself with a few things I finally got my ass down to do. Pole dancing, salsa. Even sambal kangkong. And Twenty 10 will be the year I go on to take the plunge and pursue things I have been meaning to achieve. Twenty 10 will also be the year I will be making lotsa changes for Minibean, and starting to make arrangements that I had been meaning to avoid to maintain peace. But it will be a year I learn to make decisions for myself and stick to them. She will be finally going to school. It will also be the year I will take control of the situation at home, and no more avoiding of issues. 2008, things came too easily. 2009, I need to get my ass out and learn new things and set things into motion. It was a year of getting out of comfort zone, and learning. It might not have that perfect ending, but still, I am thankful. 2010. With all the preparation 2009 had set me in, it will be the year, I hope I soar. And with that, I hope you soar in 2010 as well, that it will be a year of brilliance, filled with plenty of awesome lovingness. There sure will be challenges, I pray for strength, and it will always come with a silver lining that you will get something good out of. Joy and happiness elude us ever so often, I hope for true happiness and bliss that stays consistent in your life to fill that emptiness. Good health, yes good health very important! Auntie here succumbed to maggie goreng and 2 pieces of prata kosong with very spicy curry and ended up feeling worse today. Serves me right for not watching what I eat. May it also be a year of plenty of good sex and mindblowing orgasms, not applicable if you are under 21 (yes, under 21 CANNOT!). May 2010 be the year we all find what we have been looking for, and ourselves along the way. Maybe, we will learn to love the world fearlessly, again. *** Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind ? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne ? CHORUS: For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne. And surely you’ll buy your pint cup ! and surely I’ll buy mine ! And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne. CHORUS We two have run about the slopes, and picked the daisies fine ; But we’ve wandered many a weary foot, since auld lang syne. CHORUS We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine† ; But seas between us broad have roared since auld lang syne. CHORUS And there’s a hand my trusty friend ! And give us a hand o’ thine ! And we’ll take a right good-will draught, for auld lang syne. *** AND OH OH OH! ONE THING I MUST SAY ABOUT 2009! One of my “achievements”. - wait for it - ……….. …………. Giggles, I know it is damn anti-climatic, don’t “CHEY” me hor. …. But it has almost been a life-long “dream” of mine, I got shallow dreams, can? So it does mean something to me, okay! Hohoho. Not very perfect, still got room for improvement, but STILL! ……. -wait for it - …. I FINALLY COULD…. …. DO A SPLIT! -Please ignore the big bruise and seemingly imperfect split- YAY! I tell you is superbly plenty of happyness! I had been trying for many years but no determination and all, so finally stuck my guns to making it work. I know it is easy for many people but I have been the stiffest person I ever known (I should have been born a chap, I tell you!), and this was me just 2 months before, the furthest I could spread my legs (ahem), was just this: And I would already swear and curse because it got too painful. Took me a month plus to finally get to that, and after that, is of course to improve my balancing skills and maybe put my legs behind my head so I can busk in Orchard Road in 2010. Happy new year everyone! Have the best of what’s left of 2009 and may 2010 be one that all of you will look back and smile. Gee, did I say this post is obligatory? It is 6pm and I haven’t even gotten out of bed to wash up! No plans for tonight but feeling damn good about it! A song to end twenty o-nine: Very random, but it was just some tune that stuck in my head. May 2010 be one of good changes! Look at me Look at me I am changing, tryin’ every way I can I am changing, I’ll be better than I am I’m trying-to find a way to understand But I need you, I need you-I need a hand I am changing, seeing everything so clear now I am changng, I’m gonna start right now, right here I’m hoping to work it out, and I know that I can But I need you, I need a hand All my life I’ve been a fool Who said I could do it all alone How many good friends have I already lost How many dark nights have I known Walking down that wrong road, there was nothing I could find All those years of darkness-can make a person blind But now I can see I am changing, tryin every way I can I am changing, I’ll be better than I am But I need a friend-to help me start all over again, oh-that would be just fine I know it’s gonna work out this time ‘Cause this time I am-This time I am I am changing, gonna get my life together now I am changing, yes, I know how I’m gonna start again, I’m leaving my past behind I’ll change my life-I’ll make a vow And nothing’s gonna stop me now…hey A blessed Christmas 2009 Sod it. Despite the cocktail of potent drugs prescribed by incompetent doc (cannot complain cos FOC), I am still wide awake with this floaty buzz, and I am having this crazy idea to attempt a 2.4km run at this time in the morning (0439). But no, thankyouverymuch, sorry to disappoint, I don’t intend to collapse and drop dead and die with some kind of heart failure or breathing difficulty (flu you know, don’t play play!), so I shall behave myself and stick my arse right before the monitor and rattling on gibberish like I am doing now simply because I am groggy yet my brain refuses to rest. Gee, did I just cram everything above into one, solid paragraph? As I was saying, since I am utterly sober, I might as well go on and write about my wonderfantabulousickly Christmas. Nothing special, but just something in me clicked and the stars aligned themselves with the flow of “qi” coincide with the planet of Pluto or something like that, which kinda made me appreciate the simpler stuff and gestures. And when confronted with things head on, eh, I realise things don’t really matter that much anymore. And I could breathe freely, somewhat. Because I kinda know where my priority lies and sod what others may say or think. Bring it on baybeh, I say. Though somewhat I am worried how long this little pleasant bubble will be burst by the hormones, but it had lasted long enough for me to be quite pleased with the little milestone. It gotta do with no one, but probably myself. I have met some people I haven’t met though I could have met long time ago, and somehow, that brought the changes, with tiny steps out of the comfort zone. Okay, that’s the airy head speaking. Ignore me, like totally. So! Like I said, Christmas came and went, and perhaps with little expectations, the joy goes a long way with Minibean injecting plenty of life. I prayed a lot for this Christmas, besides the fact that I pray my bank account will magically replenish itself, I kinda prayed quite a bit for release, for giving, my mum even, and my family. Even for people who don’t matter anymore, and the other who still do matter. For the people who have had it tough in 2009. I even prayed it would be a breeze for me to get through dreadful gatherings or my difficult mum, and somehow really surprising lor! Instead of being defensive and cold, I actually could find myself soften and enjoyed this festive season and was thinking of ways to keep my mum happy. Like it was a given, not a chore. Shit. I think the feeling come already. So before I could go on and relate my Christmas and post up the very chui pictures of a sickly, frail, me -insert weak coughs here-, I think I shall crash when the feeeeeeeeling is here. This kind of feeling is gooooddd… like you wouldn’t want to waste a good orgasm. What am I saying? Okay, will continue this post with the pictures tomorrow. I try to wake up early. Hohoho! Ho’s before bros! That is damn random and has nothing to do with the abrupt halt to this entry, but that was just something I was reminded of. Fishy fishy fishy fishy! Here I come (private joke!). Sniffs A bad bout of flu since Christmas day is making me slightly detached from reality for a while. Finally ventured out of home today to head to the doc’s to get the necessary medication, only to realise still running a 38 degrees fever, which I probably had gotten used to a while. Dinner at Boon Tong Kee, and the only thing I could taste was the century egg, yums. A little trip out of home did bring a bit of the energy back, though it was quick to escalate back to a fever. Tsk. Spent the past couple of days holed up at home, which proved to be utter bliss, and on days when I couldn’t decide whether to have a 3/4 pounder from Wendy’s or Popeye’s, the answer is evident - HAVE BOTH! And you wonder why I am still sniffing, coughing and swearing in between my shallow, sickly breaths. The baked brains of mine could resist no longer for VS, and this time, I managed to get some other items, like leggings, cardigans, and a winter jacket. My own ill doings after I infected Caryn with the insatiable urge, and we ended up combining orders after I passed her some of my VS loots earlier this evening to try the sizes. Hohoho. I am evil. Giggles. But I decided not to wear some of the clothes so I can wear them for Chinese New Year. Yay! It is NOT the same as before, because I had bought swimwear and beach wear. The 1st batch was mostly dresses. SO I INSIST, NOT THE SAME! I made use of the free international shipping so I don’t have to rely on lousy Vpost, suck it up suckers! And I still haven’t got the energy to blog about my wonderfabulous Christmas. So, maybe a nap will do some justice to my poor, tormented, awfully hot body. So much things to catch up Minibean is also down with a bad flu, since it probably was from her before I got it, and I hope the little mite will get well soon before our trip next Monday. Plenty of excitement, since it will be my first cruise and hers too, and it will be our first trip overseas together. Let’s hope my lady luck will be blessing me to recoup from the loss from Christmas season… and of course, Vicks’. Bad girl, Ting, bad girl. -smacks back of hand- Help needed! (Cathay, LV, Chanel, dresses!) On and off there are people who asked me if I could help to disseminate some information and I always say it would be a pleasure, but then you know how things always go… go here happy lah, go there party lah, sick here lah, rest there lah, hiao here, sashay there, lazy here, feed fish there…. … THEN ALL NO SOUND NO PICTURE! Sorry, I know I terrible friend. SO! -DONG DONG DONG CHIANG CHIANG CHIANG- I am asking for help for random friends who asked me to help them for all sorts of reasons, say, feed their family, relieve their shopping impulses, appease seething spouse, keep their jobs, save their virginities… well, you get the drift. So hopefully people out there who have as massive hearts as cough, yours truly do, please see which of the below your big hearts (or big pockets) can do a little something to make a difference. *** FIRST ANNOUNCEMENT: EASY ONE! The Cathay (yes yes, the mall with the cinema near Plaza Singapura) has launched its very virgin facebook fanpage! Kudos to the brilliant, impressive, awesome, cool marketing team for its efforts. Cough. *Though I am not sure why I was told that if I can get people to join, I will flash one boob, and if I can get 10 people to join I will flash both boobs. THEN LIKE THAT I HELP FOR WHAT?! *Please be mindful that the above mentioned WILL NOT BE HAPPENING since I ain’t getting paid for this. Pfft! Anyway I was saying, go to The Cathay Facebook Page and join as a FAN, like, er, NOW, cos they will be giving out movie passes, exclusive merchandises or even goodie bags sporadically through their facebook page. In the next couple of days, they will be giving out Little Big Soldiers movie passes. Wheee! So simple, join a do a good deed and increase your good karma for 2009 (private joke)! Almost end of year already,  so faster! How to help? Step 1: Do you have a facebook account? Yes, sign in. No? Sign up, so easy! Step 2: Go to www.facebook.com/thecathay Step 3: Click on “Become a Fan” on top of the page AND YOU ARE DONE! Simple right? If you don’t feel like helping out, then… the next one might be for you! *** SECOND ANNOUNCEMENT: I know Christmas is just over, but guys, there is always a reason why you should show your love and affections for your ladies, so here are plenty of chances for you to do so. And ladies, don’t have chaps nevermind, we can always depend on ourselves to give ourselves the much needed pampering, right (not right also must humour me!!)? Please note that I absolutely abhor passing off fakes as genuine goods cos that is as good as fraud, so I am going to just put up authentic products, helping friend, or not. I have a friend who had bought a limited edition Louis Vuitton Suede Whisper, which has a gorgeous texture, and in mint condition which she had only used a couple of times. It was from the Autumn/Winter collection 08/09 and the most beautiful part of it was its smooth, suede finish, with a touch of elegance with its handles, trim and keyfob all in the skin of python. Lo and behold! Louis Vuitton Monogram Suede Embossed Whisper! It is black (Kohl to be exact, though it is more for guys who have no concept of colours) and is the one on the left of the picture. When the design was first launch it was sold out, and honestly if I have the financial means, I would be buying this from her lah! It spells luxe with its interior lined with grey calf leather, and it comes with a pretty little lock at the bottom right side of the bag. I know how much she can’t bear to part with this baby, so I am helping her to look for someone who really knows how to take care of this piece of beauty. And I know some people were looking for this design some time back, so hopefully…. this bayyybehh can find a home. Condition: 9/10 (She takes really good care of it and she only used it a couple of times) Retail: SGD 5400 Letting go at: $4500 Drop me an email at joewei.ting [at] gmail dot com if you are interested or have any questions to ask! And I will link you guys up depending on her comfort level! *** THIRD ANNOUNCEMENT: If you are a little more anal about “virginity” and would want to purchase a never-used before, brand new luxury bag, this may be…. a dream (I know it is kinda like mine, giggles). A friend was given a black Chanel Classic Medium Flap Caviar in silver hardware (oh gosh, did I hear Chanel? I can’t breathe now!) by mistake (she had wanted a Jumbo Flap), and is willing to let go of her never used before Medium Flap, with its strap not even pulled out from the way it was since she had gotten in just a month ago. It is 100% genuine, and you could bring it to the shop to authenticate it or she will refund. Comes with “birth cert” and all. (Why I go search for the picture then I ended up feel as if I was hypnotized by it ah?!) If you are a lady, I say, grab it. If you are a guy, no issue. Is okay one! I say, buy it and give it to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE so I can be in the Chanel club, I am oh-so-shallow, and you can shove in it my face and I couldn’t care less! I mean I like the Jumbo size also and I don’t care gold hardware or silver hardware, but who will hiam so much?! Is so mysteriously beautiful man! WHY MY LIFE NOT AS GOOD NO ONE BUY FOR ME ONE?! Giggles, nevermind, earn one myself next time, can one, plenty of awesomeness! But just not now for me Upon confirmation and payment, the bag will be hand delivered to you on the same day! Condition: Brand new in dust bag! 10/10 Virgin! Retail price: SGD $4330 Letting go: SGD: $3999 Gosh, I want to see that one more time. Maybe I see enough will become mine. Sibei heavenly. But. Still not mine. Boo. Anyway, same thing, drop me an email and I will be the contact point, cos, er, sensitive issues to sell off things people give. If you a chap with big heart, can buy both, don’t give me also nevermind. Drop me an email at joewei.ting [at] gmail dot com if you are interested or have any questions to ask! *** FOURTH ANNOUNCEMENT! A petite-frame friend of mine is letting go of two pieces of dresses, which she has never worn before (except to try them on cos they are too big for her). Both dresses are bought from reknown blogshops locally, and are pieces that are pretty popular. Honestly when she showed me, I was quite impressed by her taste, cos hahaha, I like the dresses! But with my orders from Victoria’s Secret coming in, I am on a LONG shopping ban, till further notice (just stab me!). First up is a peach-coloured dress: Which is plenty of class and will enhance your figure with its hugginess around your waist and midriff. It is ideal for work as well as a formal dinner or even a date! It has a V-back (I love V-back clothes!), and is flattering on the figure. A bit of more information on this: PTP: 14 - 17 inches Length: 32.5 - 33 inches Fits UK6 - small 10 Bodycon (bottom) and matte silk satin (top) Woops. I promise I will help her put it up but I forgot to ask her how much she wanna let go :X Another one is this casual piece which personally I adore more than the above: The sleeves can be adjusted and be worn as short-sleeved or sleeveless dress! Made from cotton and spandex, so it is very comfortable for day wear, and accentuate the figure as well! And sexy deep-V at the front! Underbust/Waist : 11 to 16 inches Shoulder to Hem : 32 inches Same thing, send me an email, and I will direct your enquiry to said babe! Man, gee, I thought this was going to be a short post, and I didn’t expect it to really sap so much of my energy. Maybe it is the flu and maybe it is the wavering determination. Tsk. Okok, so I probably have to wait till tomorrow to blog about my Christmas. Ill with flu, you know? So very weak and tired and…. need other forms of relaxation. So shoo shoooooooo go help go help now! I feel like a lelong site now heh heh. Note: Kim, if you’re reading this, was trying to get in touch with you via email, but it couldn’t get to your mailbox Kindly get in touch if you see this! The stork came calling Question: What do you do when your water breaks/contractions set in? This really cracked me up and sobered me from my grogginess: K.t says: December 28, 2009 at 6:16 pm Contractions, gg hospital tonight!!! Wish me luck pls! :s so scaryyyy! It sets my adrenaline rushing with all the excitement and though we have not met K.t, it certainly makes me warm and fuzzy to know that I am somewhat a part of your baby’s journey out! (someday you can tell your baby: “When the contractions set in, I went to Ting’s blog… oh she’s this virtual stranger, but anyway, I left a comment…“) I can’t wait to hear all the other stories, and your first steps into parenthood. Plenty of love and well-wishes from me and Minibean, and you are in our prayers that tonight will be a night of blessings, and everything will go on smoothly for you and your family. Be strong!!! Be brave! PUUUSHHHHHH! Breattthhheeeee! In other news, Wenmei gave birth on Christmas day via C-section! A pity my flu isn’t getting any better for me to pop by to visit them, and it is always a joy to see friends becoming parents Next up: 2010! I have so many things to update before the new year starts, which I am “quite” determined to improve wholesomely. Like really, many many many many many many many things man! How was your Christmas? I realise counting my blessings really works wonders as I wrap my year up, and not having expectations of it all, had made the Christmas a fabrilliant (what’s with me coining new terms these days?) one. It might not be the company, but it could well be a change of heart. Like, dance. Let go and dance. It has been quite a blast for the past few days, and I am not sure if words could ever describe it, and it is even stranger when I succumbed to a bad flu (which I believe Minibean had passed on to me) and had my taste bud nipped. It sent my temperature soaring, but it didn’t stop me from venturing out and made the best of Christmas. I might be too stoned out to show how much I enjoy my Christmas, but I want to thank everyone. Even those I didn’t manage to meet up over Christmas. Somehow, knowing you guys are there with your SMSes, are really awesome enough. I used to think Christmas should only be fun if it goes according to how and what I want it to be, and I could choose my companions…. I know I ain’t gonna have my wish fulfilled this year, and truth to be told, I was a little reluctant and apprehensive. But I guess, somehow, the peace was brought to me, and I enj0yed myself thoroughly this Christmas. Simple, no raves, no parties, and I found myself, being myself. Now with the fever coming back with a vengeance, I doubt I could do this post justice, and do much updates. I had wanted to use what is left of the year to clear all the posts I have been meaning to blog, but I think it is pretty impossible with the airy-ness in my head, no thanks to a badly congested nose. Yes, with all these bad flu, I ended up wanting to venture out cos I just didn’t want this joy and positivity to stop. How to explain huh? I don’t know. But, one day, I will get there. I hope everyone had a blessed, blessed Christmas and enjoy what’s left of 2009. It is Christmas’ Eve! I know how I lamented how I don’t look forward to Christmas, but the little girl within me cannot be denied. The mood is growing on me, and I went shopping without a care for my bank account in the world, because I still believe giving is the best feeling in the world in a time like this. I know this hasn’t been a good year for many people, especially people around me, and perhaps, I think everyone deserves to be reminded they are not forgotten and very much loved. I try not to peek into my statements. I can’t perhaps fulfill wishes with my limitations, but I still hope to bring a little, uh, hope and happiness? It is not meant to sound like holy damn good or wah-she-so-nice way, but you know, sometimes you just feel like how you remember the last time someone made you feel this way, and you think what great joy it is, and you just want to pass this blessing on? Christmas is like finally wrapping the year up, and a time to celebrate the good, and perhaps, mellow the bad so that the next year could be looked upon with plenty of hope. It was a nice feeling to be darting in and out of shops and getting something that you hope and think someone will like, yet a bit apprehensive if the person will feel obligated to like it? Aiyah, it’s the thought that counts lah. Nonetheless, shopping is a freaking bitch. 2 hours of walking and shopping is enough to drain me of ALL the energy, and I can’t understand how people derive great joy from it. So tiring until can die! Hello? Online shopping is the way to go! And now with the mood growing on me, I can’t wait to go out and live the next couple of weeks Good news? I am getting my VS loots tonight! Woohooooooo! Plenty of awesomeness. I wish everyone plenty of joy, plenty of hope for this Christmas, and it is often the most simple things in life, like a game of mahjong last year, a friend who remembers you, a great clique of friends to hang out with that would bring greatest satisfaction, and it doesn’t need to be plenty of partying to bring that. So to those who complained to me that they never got invited to parties, hey, really, it is the company that really matters and a quiet night in will surprise you Me? I am spending it with Minibean in less than ideal ways, but still, with Minibean around, that’s all it matters right? Have a great Christmas eve everyone Merry, merry Christmas. Time to change to head out. Gee. Did I forget to do some wrapping? Darn. Just a tip: When shopping for wrapping paper, do remember to read the fine prints! Someone bought 2 gifts for his male colleagues, and when I saw the packaging, I burst out laughing. It read sentimentally: I will love you forever, and more than anything else in the world. How, uhm, touching. 0 hotstuff like this post. Like