Dreaming of a holiday… To find someone to go for this and only this with me… Surf Goddess Retreats When he says jump, I ask “How high?” I feel like I’ve had the fight knocked out of me. In my family, at work, in my friendships - I feel like I have allowed grasp of any semblance of control slip through my fingers because I’m just so tired of fighting the current. It’s just so much easier to say, “Alright, I’ll do it your way”, than to keep pushing your own agenda. Not when you have no one supporting you, not when you stand alone, not when you have no one who believes in you. Never has global domination been plotted by anyone as weak as I. My most oft-repeated phrase, “OK lor, what can I do?” is preceded by a resigned, inward sigh. I explain and cajole and persuade till I resemble Smurfette, and yet I still cannot convince. In choosing to remain of the same complexion as my fellow humans, I’ve taken to rolling over and playing dead. Now, I feel like I am just a diseased, depressed child lying on a vast concrete floor. People mill around me, in varying distances. Once in a while, one of them is spurred by adrenaline, runs over and kicks me. I curl in further, I take it, I let the blood dribble from my mouth, I look up, smile through the pain and say “Thank you”. I don’t ask, “Why me?” anymore. I don’t ask, “Why not?” anymore. I don’t ask, “Where else?” anymore. So much bitterness, so many sighs. At least I’m losing weight. Like, totally. A review I read: this phone is the worst phone ever made in history like!!!! ok its alright to show off to friends but i cant actually work the thing like!!! because of all of its retarded features its the slowest thing ever like, like i press a button and it it takes 40 minutes to buck up like, my advice is like to stay about 100000000000 miles away from this stylish but worst phone ever, the camera is horrific! it doesnt even take pictures like, never rely on this phone like it is retarded! Compost for brains Went to the RSAF Open House. Didn’t bring my 55-250mm lens. I have compost for brains. To get that high once again There’s always a high to shopping that only women and possibly non-straight men are privy to. It’s a rush of exhilaration that escapes from your pores and evaporates into an intoxicating perfume you are liable to drown in. It cheers up a woman when she is in the throes of negativity. I spent two hours at Comex, picking up $450 worth of storage devices. And yet I did not spend a single cent of my own. Now, that is a high ;p I just found my new addiction - personal shopping for someone else. HFDS HFDS - The Coach Humanity, Foreground, Detail, and Shape You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on what’s in front of you (the foreground) and how that is affected by the details of life. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can’t control. You are highly focused on specific goals or tasks and find meaning in life by pursuing those goals. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable. The Perception Personality Types: Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy And sometimes I wish you would stop imposing your own insecurities and imagined storylines onto us. This is not a fucking ammunition barrel and the more you use this in our quarrels, the more that already-small part of me dies even more. Over it Everytime we quarrel, each of us dies a little. Each time we break this bridge between us, it gets mended again with glue, awaiting its next breakage. I sometimes wonder why I can’t be the perfect daughter to you. Why I can’t just not make you angry. As much as I love you, I wonder why we just seem to explode. More and more so these days. You are not the monster. I am one and in me lives many more. Every few months, we break down. Again and again. Why? Why? WHY? I don’t blame you, and I don’t want to blame me anymore. I don’t want to blame anything anymore. I just want to escape. I’m sorry. I think the only way to solve this is if we were to minimise contact with each other. And so I will work towards that. I’m sorry. Sixty Mum: Why did God have to take his servant away? He was only 60. Me (in my mind): Does she mean he was already 60? 60 years old seems so far away…since when did Mum start referring to 60 as “only”? Mum: He was only 60, you know. Your dad’s turning 60 later this month. Suddenly, Sixty doesn’t seem that far away anymore. Zheng H. Our friendship was a farce because all you needed was a deputy, not a friend. You made me dislike PRCs more than I thought I ever would. Yvonne L. You told me you once fell asleep driving on SLE. For approximately 5s, your eyes were closed. You only woke up with you felt your hands slipping off the steering wheel. I never took a ride from you after that. A conversation…well, not so much (During the table tennis finals, roughly translated from Hokkien) Mum is quilting in front of the TV. She doesn’t quite get table tennis and its rules, but tries to be a sport and watches the finals with Dad and I. Mum (at the TV): 我跟你讲过几次了，不要每次都这样子打。已经讲了几次了，你还是不听。看啦，看啦，不听话啦！还要我讲几次你才肯听？？为什么每次跟你讲，你就是不听？都已经输到这样了还是这么“铁齿”。 Dad & I: ………….? Xuan K. You played a part in one of the biggest dramas in my life. I used to describe this experience as a story of love, friendship and betrayal. I relished the telling and re-hashing of this story, because it simultaneously described the glory of young love and the pain of betrayal. 13 hours a day we spent together; but apparently that wasn’t enough to cement our friendship. You thought I was out to get him from you, but what you forgot was that he was not yours in the first place. And he had no intentions for you in his life anyway. I took nothing away from you; you imagined it all. Badminton Lin Dan beats Lee Chong Wei. Lin Dan walks around shaking hands, wipes his face and snot on some poor sod’s blue jacket haha He walks to the end of the court and tosses his racket to an excited audience. He then bends down and starting doing something to his laces, making like he’s about to take the shoes off and toss them into the crowds Then the screen cuts to an advertisement SO WAS HE GOING TO THROW HIS SHOES INTO THE CROWD?? ew. I’ll never know. Table Tennis China wins; Singapore gets the Silver. Wang Lee Hom’s Descendents of the Dragon 龙的传人 plays in the background. Uhh… =p Strategy/face Hmmm China seems to be giving us the first match as a courtesy, before completely destroying our players in the next games to take the set easily Feng Tianwei Well done! Great match against Wang Nan… Even to a non-player like me, the match was exciting, not least because it was like a young lioness fighting an older lioness, each taking a swipe at the other. She lost because of inexperience, it was obvious, but she put up a great fight =) 下次一定会打得更好 ps: To the man who shouted 新加坡加油！ right after some Chinese women were screaming for Wang Nan, you alone were louder than those women and you rock! Wanling Y. For a period of time, I hated you. I hated you for volunteering me for tasks I didn’t want to do. I hated you for volunteering my resources as if they were your own. For a very long time, every word you said grated on my nerves. Now I see that you can’t help who you were and I can’t help who I am. I shouldn’t have hated you, because we were just different. Different isn’t necessarily wrong. Valerie L. You were so always unafraid of being yourself, even if it meant being openly contrasted with the rest of us. While the rest of us were busy being conformists and getting into teachers’ good books, you showed us how it was like to just live in your own skin. You blossomed and came into your own without needing to be moulded by our teachers. Well done. Stanley S. The series, thus far, has been progressing in alphabetical order. But I interrupt it for this. Replaced by this paragraph was a diatribe on you belittling the memories I’d put here. And then, yet again, replaced by this paragraph was a memory I’d begun of you, before we went on our topic of miscommunication on MSN. And then I tell myself, people are just different. Different does not mean wrong. Different simply means different. There is nothing wrong in that. Terri L. We interned together at a law firm when we were 15. Oh, how different the experience was for both of us. You went on to become a lawyer; I gave up my dream of being a lawyer long ago. Shuling T. You were so shy and self conscious, partly because you thought you were fat. Too fat for the shy, quiet boy you liked from archery. You lost 10kg, looked better, but you still never got the boy. Silly boy; poor you. One-Eyed Mongsta 5 years ago, I draw a one-eyed monster for ssamantha on MSN for kicks. Two days ago, I drew the new and improved version. In full technicolour =p Raymond T. You had the tackiest Chinese name ever, but you were nice, so we stuck around. We could talk about little else but basketball, and there’s only so much ball you can discuss. I wonder where you are now. Qian A. You chose the road less travelled by our batch when you chose not to go to JC. I met you a few years ago, and you looked like you regretted it, but you wouldn’t say so. It’s just as well that silence can convey more than we intend. Pertrina I found your letter to me, written eight years ago. You thanked me for being such a friend to you, listening to your family woes and always being there. You bought me a box of chocolates which you could ill afford. I cried when I first read the letter 8 years ago. I didn’t like you; I was just earning my karma points to heaven. But you thought I was better than that. I’m sorry. Olivia L You insisted on standing in front of my friend and I while I was trying to point something out to her. I asked you to please take a step to the side, you grinned and said no. I was fast losing the moment and asked you to move again. You grinned again and didn’t move. I swept you to the side and showed my friend what I talking about. You sulked at me, stomped off and never spoke to me again. You were anorexic; no wonder it took so little effort to sweep you aside. Liveblogging the 2008 National Day Parade…Live from my TV set [1745] Disembodied female voice introduces the parade… Ooh, Nathan Hartono sings “Where I Belong”. Always wanted to watch him in concert, young cute jazz singer and all. When I say young I mean young – he’s 17! Oh, he looks very very poseur on TV but lovely voice! Somehow his voice sounds so mature…and doesn’t seem like it’s his! Oh, he really sounds like Michael Buble [1749] Five hosts onstage now…ugly costumes, big flowers Erm, *yak yak yak* *cut off quite abruptly to first commercial break* what’s up with that?? [1752] Back to the show.. Waterskiing and wakeboarding now Hmm…also something with skinny long boats and waterskis with flying little kite formation thingies trailing [1755] *yawn* ZzZzz Sorry attention span is too short haha bye! Natalie N. You said your lifelong ambition was to be a tai-tai, a rich housewife. We laughed, but somehow I knew you meant it. Maggie C. You weren’t Singaporean, and you had the flawless and fair complexion stars could only dream of. You were terribly ethereal and I never knew what to make of you, but I was glad to be a friend to you those many years ago.