Seriously. Time to move on. Or update your links, anyway. If you're reading this, you're committing the bloging equivalent of wearing spats because you think they're cutting edge fashion. My new, new blog is here. It's called in second person, and it's all eclectic and stuff. Try it, you might like it! Hugs and kisses, The blogger formerly known as MercerMachine Farewell, MercerMachine Lessons learned from MercerMachine: When you're an outsider, a stranger, a foreigner, one way to gain acceptance is through humour. If you want to get noticed, one of the best ways is to have an opinion -- preferably lots of them. If you want to be remembered, you should have something to say that touches people. No, not in that way, you perv. But if you want to be a writer, what you mainly have addict After a long illness, the world takes on a different tone, for a time. A shift in emphasis occurs, subtle but persistent. You find yourself focusing on things your eye would slide by, before. Clouds backlit by a full moon. Distant HDB towers, their hazy, unfinished feel as seen from the narrow slice of view from your laundry room, how distance makes them, well, not pretty, but visually important. smoking, sickness, stress It's 4 a.m. and I've just finished doing projections for the business, a requirement from our lender. I've followed a rather rigid methodology, worked hard to peg it as firmly to reality as I can, but the truth is, projections are just a tissue-thin layer of educated guesses decoupaged to a big fat question mark. It's stressing me out, badly. Money does that. Responsibility is like that. I've Goodbye, 2007 ...and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. All in all, you pretty much sucked. Here's to 2008: May it be healthier, less stressful, and happier all around for reveryone, near and far. speak as you find Irony is just poetic injustice. another rain, another place It's raining now, that lashing tropical rain typical of the monsoon season here, furious and then gone. I remember other rains, other places. And I realize that, while I do love rain, I much prefer the the time just before the rain falls, when the sky darkens and the wind shifts, picks up, begins to batter. The barometric pressure shifts. The air suddenly smells different. There is a sense of... shining The sad thing about becoming more mature is that you begin to learn from your mistakes. Life is one long course in aversion training. We reach for the shining, the glittering sparkling bauble and get shocked. We do it again, it happens again. Our desires morph, slowly or quickly, and we become more discerning. More selective. We begin to weigh risks and rewards. Joy and desire give way to cold smacking against the pane I was what, twelve, thirteen when I began writing. Poetry. An orange spiral binder, full of poems, dreams that were just pure joy, unfettered exploration of rhythm and rhyme and the juxtaposition of of meaning and emotion. Then a girl broke my heart. Slept with another boy on the night of the carnival. I still remember his name and hers. John-John, they called him, and her name was Shelley. In Uh, oh... It's that time again. I'll be there. How about you? Katong blues The problem is, my life in Texas, didn’t really end – it just stopped. I look around, and the streets, and the concrete and glass and the worn shophouses and the smells of the hawker stalls and the sounds of life, they’re all rich and varied and as intricate as any human drama anywhere. But none of it is what went into making me, this person trying to put down the words, trying to drive down the Quitters never quit quitting Was on the verge of chucking in the whole blogging thing when I got a timely comment from VS (formerly known as SS) about writing. So thank you for reminding me of what I seem to have forgotten. *** Separately, Bingsey, please send me your hubby's email, huh? huh? okay? Okay. Love ya. Talk soon. my son is cute. see? self-administered karma, Smoot-style So the other night Smoot scares me poopless. Which is not an unusual occurrence. She can be a truly creepy little Gollum-like critter, often crouching in the dark, waiting to spring out at the unwary. Or actually just me. I am of course obliged to scare her back. Has to do with growing up the youngest kid in a group of three. One way or another you have to even the books. I'm pretty sure third art imitating life imitating art... So the wife, the son and I took a short drive to the gas station to pick up some sundries, and while we were in line waiting to pay, the son sees an Archie comic (Betty and Veronica, actually) which has been conveniently shelved at son-level. "Must, buy!" he says. "No," I says, and then I see the cover. There, at the very top. Veronica (that's the hot one) has a blog. So does Betty. boy, interrupted... ...by annoying sleep. TT Durai Memorial Golden Peanut Award This prestigious award is given to those public figures whose actions are a shining beacon of hypocrisy, avarice and/or malevolence in a world ful of tawdry, underachieving hypocrisy, avarice and malevolence. Like Momma said, if you're gonna do something, do it right! The envelope please.... And the winner is: RICHARD YONG! For 'consenting to return' to Singapore to 'clarify matters' What the F*&% is LZZR? Can somebody read this and explain it to me in English? Preferably with small words? This and that Woke up with a headache, in a sour mood. This is not insurmountable. A new study shows how meditation works -- basically mindfulness, or naming our emotions, seems to give us greater control over our emotions. Therefore, I hereby name this emotion 'sour, with a dollop of headache'. ... ... ... Still sour. Sigh. Anyway, had a very nice dinner with various individuals such as Expat, my lovely Phildonis If you missed Expat's birthday party, you missed a lot... mooooove. as smoot said, we've moved. I'm looking out at the strip of ocean between us and some bit of Indonesia as I type this. it seems to be the marine version of a parking lot, lots of ships anchored there. At night, they're like jewels on the water. Below my window, kids are screaming in the pool. Life is good. Just a short little update :) Insight and perception Not one but two gifts of insight this morning, and one yesterday. Yesterday, while driving, I had a thought on the nature of perception, and the fragmentation of perception, and the nature of depression, at least as it concerns me. At its worst point, my depression was like walking through a world of shattered glass. Every thought, every breath, every instant brought me into agonizing contact the end of the matter ...for now at least. Have finished my four exams, and more or less each one handed my ass to me. What lessons have I learned (other than the ones I apparently didn't learn well enough while studying)? That learning at age 36 is different than learning at age 18 or 20. My natural inclination is to cut to the chase. Having to cite case after case in support of each proposition killed me. I My face always gives me away So I walk into my exam room for my Common law exam, the same room I've already taken two tests in, and notice immediately something is missing. The clock is gone. I go to the examiner dude and say "Uncle, where is the clock?" "Behind you," he says, and points. Sure enough, for some reason it has been moved to the back wall. I nod sagely, wondering if I can sneak a peek at the work of the person It was funny till it wasn't So the other day I was playing a game with MachineBoy. I would ask him nonsense questions like, "Are you a turtle? Are you a cat?" To which he would reply, with a quizzical look on his face and a small shake of his head "No...." Funny stuff. Until this morning. At six a.m. When he woke me up. Asking me things like "Daddy, youa, lizard? Daddy, youa, robot?" Relentlessly. And once I cracked open Renovation, demolition I've been renovating over at Sticky Issues. Please take a look and tell me if you like the layout, ok? Also, two exams are finished-- Criminal and Public law--and let's just say I hope they're grading on a curve... Still have Contract and Common law to go. If Noah had been Chinese... ...then there'd be, uh, less diversity in our biosphere today. What's that saying? Cantonese will eat anything with legs except a table? In other news, I've been out of touch as my exams start tomorrow and I have been studying, to no apparent avail. Those about to die salute you! the same old rag... I could write a post saying why I haven't written a post recently, but essentially it's because I have nothing to say, and saying nothing says that more eloquently, don't you think? Much has been preoccupying my (limited) mental faculties, however. There's the law exams coming up, which I'd really rather not think about, and work, and family, and the possibility of moving, and the posibility of No-smell durian in the near future! That's right. A scientist in Thailand has come up with a durian that has almost no smell, according to the New York Times. No longer will I be woken up by the smell of the durian Smoot has brought into the bedroom as a midnight snack! "The scientist, Songpol Somsri, crossed more than 90 varieties of durian, many found only in the wild, and came up with a fruit that he says smells as mild as a The things we do for love Like put on a motorcycle helmet because your son keeps saying "put ON! put ON!" and laughing when you do. Like getting on a little red car with said helmet because your son keeps saying "Daddy DRIVE! Daddy DRIVE!". Like not killing your wife when she takes a picture and puts it on flickr. Yes, that's me. Sorry, girls, I'm taken.