You raise me up... This is blood :o)... Way to go! Children are God's gifts to us.. in order to teach us how to be better people.But some of us abuse these gifts... and forget the reason why they're given to us to watch over in the first place... A Korean drama in 7minutes and 59 seconds I kid you not... Coincidence? Today.. I could have been in mourning.You see, my son almost broke his neck last night; I am still totally shaken by it.I was sitting on my couch last night, and my son, M, was crying. The boy came over to my right, from the back, and put his head on the seat and kicked. So hard that his whole body went up in the air. The only problem was that his chin was still on the seat.I can still see this in slow motion. His neck slowly extending itself into a position it was never meant to be in, while his body and legs continue on their upward and over trajectory. I was frozen in place.The next thing I knew, I instinctively gave him a hard push. He landed with a thud... and cried even harder. I did the only thing I could... I spanked him... and hugged him. My tears were on the brink.Last night, when my little baby was fast asleep; I prayed over him, and thanked God. For putting me where I was. For giving me reflexes I never knew I had.Was it a coincidence I was there when it happened? I think not. I Can... The SJI Military Band... 50 years on... ... more a Concert Band... in military uniform. But one thing I must say... their concert music is GREAT! Interesting quip heard over dinner "They have traditions! It's just that these traditions change every year" Mahna! Mahna! For those who were around in 1969. Enjoy! Thank you Lord Warning. Watching this may change your life as you know it... Fantastic stuff... Go out and get the album "Matter of Time"...</object Small actions, Big impact I'm beginning to understand how small actions can lead to big changes... in my blood sugar.Went to my mom-in-law's 2 nights ago during Mid-Autumn Festival. The spread was so good I got depressed. In the end, I had a whole plate of Lady's Finger to take the edge off my hunger. Then I settled down and had a couple pieces of chicken curry, mushrooms cooked with shredded chicken, and vegetables cooked in various forms. Finally... I did the unthinkable; I had 3 wedges of moon cake. I felt the effects the next morning.. my blood sugar jumped from 5.9 the previous day to 7.4, a substantial jump.I did better yesterday. Had fruit for breakfast and went to the gym and had an excellent workout. For lunch, I had a full salad (with nuts), dressed in 1/4 cup of orange juice, as well as loads of fruit. You may not believe it, but it was fabulous. For dinner, I was craving for hot soup, so I had my helper warm up some chicken soup. I also have 2/3s a big bowl of salad, 2 plums, 2 kiwi fruit and 1 banana. My fasting glucose this morning was 6.4.I must be doing better. A neighbour's maid told my helper that I've lost lots of weight. :o) The beginning... Fasting glucose readings : Day 0 8.1, Day 1 7.6,Day 2 (now) 5.9Lunch : Salad + Fruit. No exactly hungry, but made myself finish (mostly, anyway) the salad and the fruit.Dinner : Ravenous. Needed something hot so made myself a carrot-onion-celery soup. Delicious. My daughter loves it too! Also had boiled okra (yummy!) and fruit.Exercise : 30 mins on the elliptical machine. Grueling, but manageable.Overall, Day 1 was okay. My tastebuds haven't totally acclimatized to the food yet, but again, it was okay. Fasting sugars are improving, but that's on medication. To totally improve, I need to drastically drop my weight. Why? The levels of insulin my pancreas are producing will still be more than enough for a (much) smaller body...Rock on! It's confirmed Yup. I've got Type II Diabetes. Adult Onset Diabetes.Sigh.It's really strange. I had a series of blood and urine tests done 2 months ago and everything was negative. The bright side of it is that it was spotted so early.I've decided to go the Eat for Life diet. This will be for 6 weeks. There've been many diabetics who've reversed their condition.Wish me luck. New Mobile Blog Hi allI've just set up a new mobile blog. Really makes blogging loads more convenient. Do visit! My life is a ... ... Korean drama... at least that's what I was told.As you all already know, I come (came?) from a broken home; my parents were divorced when I was 5, and my mom does not publicly acknowledge me as her son. No, not because she's ashamed of me, but, well, because I guess I'm her "little secret".3 days ago, I was working later through lunch and feeling hungry, I decided to take a walk to the food court to get some food.. when out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone waving frantically at me. It was D, an old friend from church. She jumped up, gave me a big hug and introduced me to her neighbour... my mom.W-O-WAfter I had bought my food, D offered to buy me a drink and when she was away, my mom told me..."D told me you're a very good boy, and that you had a really hard life". With that, she put a hand to her chest and sighed. W-O-WWhile she did tell D that she knew me, she never acknowledged me as her son; she just told D that it was a "long story".The irony of it all? D kept saying during lunch how much she treated me like her son.W-O-W How to live in the moment Saw this post at Patterico's and this really took my breath away. I really wanted to make a copy here... just in case the original post is ever erased...12/3/2006Putting Things in PerspectiveFiled under: Real Life, General — Patterico @ 10:08 amI’ve discovered a way to bring a new perspective to your life.To explain it, I have to tell a little story.Driving home Friday night, I was remembering a time years ago, when my daughter Lauren (now six years old) was in her first year. An old friend of mine was coming to town, and we went with my wife to see a Glen Phillips solo acoustic concert down near San Diego.We were very excited to see the show. But for some reason, we couldn’t get a babysitter. So we decided to take Lauren. Since it was just an acoustic show, we hoped that she’d sleep peacefully on my lap. If, during the show, she got upset, I would take her out to the car. Thereafter, my wife and I would take turns watching her in the car.Lauren was asleep when the concert began — but she awoke, crying, five seconds into the first song. It was louder than we had thought it would be. I hurriedly took her to the car, which was parked on the street about half a block away.Once I had her out there, I never brought her back inside the club. Although part of me wanted to be back inside watching the concert, I was also having fun being with my daughter — at times talking to her when she was awake, and at times watching her sleep. Plus, I wanted to let my wife see the whole concert. I figured there was no reason to interrupt her enjoyment if I was having a perfectly good time.It wasn’t so much that I preferred to be with my daughter than to watch a concert. I just didn’t mind staying out with her in the car.Thinking about this the other night, I asked myself: Patrick, if you could go back to that night, right now, and either stay out in the car with Lauren, or be inside and watch the concert — which would you do?And of course the answer was obvious.The night it happened, I didn’t mind being in the car with my daughter. But if I could go back now, there’s no question that I would want to be there.Not only would I stay in the car with her — I would make the most of the experience, realizing that I had a precious chance to see her at that age again. I would try to commit every moment to memory.And then I realized: some day, years in the future, I might be asking the same question about my life today — this very minute. If you could have this moment back to live over again, what would you do?The rest of that evening, I pictured myself as having been sent into my body from the future, to relive the moments I was experiencing. And I saw everything differently. I sat on the couch and watched television with my arm around my wife — all the while imagining myself as an old man, transported back in time to relive that moment. And all of a sudden, what otherwise might have seemed like a mundane moment seemed like a privilege. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, just sitting there with my wife.I’ve tried the trick all weekend, and it really changes your outlook. Just sitting around with a sleepy child in your arms is great any way you look at it. But if you picture yourself as someone whose child has grown up — if you imagine yourself as an older man, who would give the world to be back in that chair with that child in his arms — it makes you realize how important the moment is. And you appreciate it more.Like any epiphany, I know that this will pass, to be remembered only from time to time. I hope I remember it often, when routine is wearing on me.But there are times I actively need to forget it, because this outlook promotes a sort of hedonism. For example, right now, I need to clean the house — but that’s not really what I would choose to do if I were sent here from the future.Oh, well. I’m going to clean up anyway. I think the guy from the future would understand — sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do. I can hear my future self in my head right now. He says to make a nice cup of coffee and put on some music while I do it, and take some breaks to play with the kids. Enjoy the chores as well as the easy and fun moments, I hear him saying. Some day, you’ll miss even the chores. Some day, you’ll miss almost everything about your life the way it is right now. A beautiful day at the playground... Hilarious stuff! To iBook or not... that is the question!Problem is... I can't help feeling the video's like a Milli Vanilli kinda thing... Cowardice... Singapore Style It's been quite a while since I last blogged; too many things have happened... some good, some bad. Will talk about it some time later.But what I want to blog about is something all of us who drive face everyday, parking lots, and the accompanying hassles that come with it.Yesterday, on the 12th of May, my wife sent E for her weekly ballet class. After having circled the car park numerous times, L settles along a lane, and waits.... quite a few car lengths behind another car. A few minutes later, a couple emerges and gesticulates to L that they're moving off. The lot? Immediately next to my car. To allow the couple's car to go off, L reverses... but only enough to let the car out.Something unbelievable happens. Car number 1 reverses SEVERAL car lengths, sounds his horn continuously and gesticulates wildly, claiming the car park lot as his. Now.. all of us schooled in the car parking etiquette, know that the lot will go to the car nearest the lot when it becomes vacant.My wife, L, gesticulates back... and she takes the lot. The other chap is not happy... but does not come down. L tells me that the other fellow is a family man... while she has a feeling that he'll try to scratch the car, she does nothing... after all, E was late for her ballet lesson.Fast forward a few hours. I'm about to bring my son M for his gym class... and what do I see? A nice long scratch along the driver's side. Good thing I don't really bother if my car has a few scratches... it is a depreciating asset after all.What gets me though is the cowardice of this man. A man whose not willing to stand up for what he believes. He cowers during confrontations, but like the man he is, he waits for his opponent to go off.. before he strikes. Key in hand, he walks along the side of the door and scratches.With each centimeter he digs in, he grows increasing smug, satisfied that he's actually done something. Deed done, he struts off... happy to have made his mark.My friends from other countries tells me that doesn't happy where they come from. Instead, confrontations are not avoided. Whether or not they get their way, people actually stand up for their rights.Which leaves me wondering... is this "Singapore-style cowardice" affecting more than our parking lots? Is it infesting our attitude towards life? Is that why the average Singaporean is unwilling to speak up.. except during election time... when he think's no one's watching? After casting his silent vote, he struts off.. happy to have made his mark?Are we all predisposed to being cowards because how we are culturalised here in Singapore? Getting the ole engine started It's been a long time since I last posted. So, before I begin, a quick summary of what I've been doing :1) My dad passed away on the 27th of December 2006 at 1.23am;2) We took another trip to Taipei in November;3) On the work front, it's been a busy period... my team has been hitting targets consistently. I'm proud to say that I've got a wonderful bunch of people! :o);4) My brother-in-law had his first child, Isaac, on the 4th of December 2006;So here you go... 4 reasons for me being totally swamped and unable to blog for the past few months. But life has settled down, and I really feel quite sane and calm enough to get blogging again.Oh.. Happy New Year.. and I'll see you soon. That's a promise Here's the Skinny on the Weight Loss industry Excellent piece. Collapsed when I went through it! :o)Cannot miss this...http://slimderella.bobbin-comic.com/01.html Slurp! Something cheerful. Really need this...Your Icecream Flavour is...Cookies 'n Cream!Smooth and creamy with a few rough bits mixed in, you are a real treat! You are probably very popular amongst your friends. Remember too much of a good thing is not always good! Don't lay it on too thick!What is your Icecream Flavour?Find out at Go Quiz Pearls of Wisdom "Ting, you must choose your friends very carefully"Sounds like great advice, no? But wait for Part II..."You must choose friends whom you think are useful to you. Don't waste time making friends whom you do not find useful"And.. how about this gem?... service staff delivers item. Sister thanks her... and"No need to thank her. She's only doing her job"I really felt sad when I heard those words being uttered.Then I look again... at a man with no one by his side, no one to soothe and comfort him, no one who REALLY cares. Touch Down Landed in Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Airport on 27th October 2006 at 6.30pm. Squinted my eyes... oh... there she was... my dad's "good friend". Got my Pandan Leaves impounded at Taiwanese customs. Apparently you can't bring in live plants into an agricultural country.Gave her a hug and walked to the car... and looked in.My heart sank.My dad, formerly very robust, was now a shadow of his former self. His body can be best described as "skeletal" but his belly is similar to mine in size, a 120kg man.Water-retention. A clear sign that his liver and kidneys are not working the way they should be.We start on our long slow journey to the city to pick up my sister with my dad at the wheel. He drives very slowly... occasionally swerving out of his lane, clearly in pain and discomfort. We pick up my sister some 45 minutes later.. the long journey a result of the traffic jam. Once we arrive at the restaurant, we eat in silence, allowing dad to catch his breath and for the swelling in his ankles to go down.Once done, we send "good friend" home and proceed to his apartment. I give it a once over when we reach "home". I say "home" because it's a sorry excuse for a home. Clothes are strewn everywhere and there is no decent cookware to speak of.The next few days would really be tough going.*more to come later* Off to Taipei Between the 27th and the 31st of October...Will be bringing sauces for my dad's favourite fish head curry. Plan to also make Hainanese Chicken Rice and perhaps carrot cake...Last taste for him before he heads HOME. What if... What if one day you got a call from your dad? Someone you were never really close to?What if he told you he was dying?What if you were asked to take in your 16-year-old Taiwanese half sister... for you to bring up?What if you were told by well-meaning friends of the dad : "I think this would be better.. as you're brother and sister"What if?What would you do? What would YOU do? Because I really don't.*sob* Updates Thanks for all your emails expressing concern; I REALLY am very touched... :o)Have been many changes in my life and now's a good time to update you guys..After settling my Grandaunty's matter, went to Melbourne for a short 10 day trip...Really enjoyed my trip with the family. The thing was, I was working (via my mobile) through at least 8 out of the 10 days. The wifey made her mandatory "why-are-we-going-for-a-holiday-if-you-have to work-all-the-time" speech, but then this time, unlike other times, I felt the same.... *sigh*Was back to the office on the 11th of September. Was having the most normal of days when one of my colleagues let slip that I was going to be promoted to replace one of the outgoing managers. Soon enough, other rumours reached me about how arrogant / self-centred / competitive I was. Remember the bunch of people who was pissed off with me? Yup. That's the bunch who was going to be in my team.The story goes on and on... with the team petitioning and trying to retain their existing manager... I suspect that their intentions were so that they wouldn't have to come under my charge, rather than his retention per se. Amazing, isn't it? Anyways.. after dinging-and-donging.. it was announced on the 2nd of October.. that I was promoted.. to head my OWN, newly-created, team. The previous manager? He withdrew his resignation.*shrug* *grin* Back Hi guysThanks for all your concern. Am done with mourning. I'm back.. but will update later today or tomorrow.*hugs* Talked about my dad sometime ago.Found out he has Stage 2 to Stage 3 Liver Cancer.Looks like I'll be flying up to Taiwan (where he's been living for 30 years). Time to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. Back Hi. Thank you all for your comforting words. The funeral was yesterday.The passing of my Grandaunty was to me, a very interesting event. I saw (some positive and some negative) facets of people which I had not seen before.1) The relativesI was practically adopted by my grandaunt, albeit without any official papers. Born out of wedlock (although my parents married a month later), I was thrust into my grandaunt's arms when I was 2 months' old, and when she was 52. Now, parents out there will know how tough it is to look after a new born when you're in your 20s... this woman was in her 50s!My grandaunt had a hard life, with all her children passing on before her. Who she had left was her son-in-law (now 78), her 3 grandchildren, her 9 great-grandchildren, and me. In terms of blood ties, I was the furthest one away.So why was it that it was me and my wife who was taking care of ALL the final details? Or that it was only the 2 of us (together with my children) being at the wake alone for 3 full days? Why was it that the "family" came only on the evening on the 3rd day, only to leave early? In my mind, they behaved more likes guests rather than family members. Yet when it came time to walk around the casket, they reached out and carressed the casket as though they cared.It's all BS. It disgusted me. I can't be too bothered to be angry with them. But all this wayang (showmanship) got to me.UrghIt's funny... that the 2 people who were REALLY affected were myself and another girl whom my grandaunty looked after as part of her bid to earn more money. This girl who visited her when she was in the nursing home, who tried to hide her sobs, whose company sent a wreathe dedicated to "her grandmother". Somehow, I felt it was enough that the 2 of us were there... not the grandchildren, nor the great grandchildren.....2) The friendsMy friends came for 3 days in a row.. many repeatedly. They came and they hugged me, joked with me, spent time with me, prayed with me. They knew, inside, that I needed them at this time when I was feeling very vulnerable. I did not expect anything.. but got everything.Thanks guys3) The colleaguesOne of my colleagues visited unannounced. His presence and the look on his face showed me his concern. Another was tasked to deliver the "pek kim", or the contributions from the office. This one was interesting; she hemmed and hawed.. and finally when she did come, she called me on the phone and asked to me to meet her outside because she had just "gone to the temple and therefore cannot go for such things".. why? So she can pass me the pek kim.I wanted to tell her to go shove it. I didn't need the money. I didn't need for you to come to give me all this lip service. But I didn't want to insult the rest... but this one, she pissed me off really badly.Another one of my colleagues covered for half a day in a branch because I was away.. the first thing she did? Write me an email... "condolences.. blah blah.. as this is a mutual swop, please cover my duty on blah blah blah date".Bah.4) My familyMy wife and my daughter were with me almost all the time (my boy is 18 months and it was difficult to bring him to the wake). My girl, who is almost 6, took it upon herself to make sure the peanuts and candy were well stocked. She also hugged me.. and comforted me and she sensed that I was down.Of course, my wife. She was always there for me. Always.My in laws? Thanks for the home-cooked meals. The quiet looks of concern.I love you all.. Sorry guys... had to vent vent vent... She's gone After 30 years of being my dad and my mum. After doing what you needn't have done. Thank you.Sleep well, Kor Po.A part of me just died today.