doteonme has left the premise.http://www.formspring.me/andthetsarWe'll keep in contact like this.You can see my replies here:http://www.formspring.me/andthetsarxoxo. Happy 7th anniversary Well guys.It's the 5th year for me as a blogger on blogger.com5 memorable years that flew past so fast.To put it literally, it has been 7 long years since I started the habit of blogging.Secondary 3. Thanks to a friend I made on Mirc, whom I later got to add on MSN and she posted her blog link via her nick name.I clicked on it and found it a rather neat idea instead of always penning my thoughts down on paper which my mother was susceptible to find it and do it online instead, where my not so tech savvy mother would not find it and it would be much more convenient for me as well.I started out with the now defunct blog-city.Infinitus.blog-city.com I remember.With the stupid standard templates and such.Whole word chunky posts, with twit writing LyKe ThIs and no pictures.Slowly, my blogging evolved, into paragraphing, and hot-linking pictures from livejournal.I slowly delved into a more narrative style , and discovered photo bucket and learned HTML all from scratch. Til today I still use html codings for my posts.And made a rather big decision to move over to blogger, where I would be able to customise my blog's template and such.Blog-city deleted my blog after not updating it, and it was rather disappointing, there were much memories in there.Started out with infinito-.blogspot.comFirst ever blogspot post here.I had changed the title over time and found that I could not change it back to infinito- due to blogger disallowing the hyphen.Thus after much thought, and since I met Joel, I changed it to doteonme.blogspot.com all because I wanted him to dote on me more.My stupid whiny confession post over here.Reading it over, I wanted to slap myself for being so retarded and whiny. Maybe it was because of the lack of sleep that day,However, it did rake in a whole lot of memories. From Joel's reactions and a lot of things which unfolded after.Looking at that post and comparing the present with then, I am glad to say , not much has changed, but it is inevitable, people left me along the way.Ever since that year, when Joel and I got together, I've neglected "celebrating" my blogging anniversary.The rest of the posts which were near that date were:4th year's5th year blogging.6th yearI guess this year, it suddenly popped into my head.So let me summarise what has been going on with my life in a nutshell into the 7th year of blogging.- I attempted and adopted different writing techniques- I do know and am aware that I have multiple grammatical/spelling errors but I am just so lazy I can't be bothered.- I've grown to be more pessimistic on the outlook of Singaporean men in general- The person who I've centered my life around to has walked.- I faced multiple set backs.- I got my first job after my graduation and soon I have to leave it too due to my studying.- Really traveled a lot since I got a job.- Experienced many new things locally as well as overseas.- I entered Uni, into a course which I actually can excel in because of my interest in it.- My friendship with certain people have waned, and after some events, my bond with certain friends have strengthened.So, everyone, in a post where I should say," Happy 7 years, here's to several years ahead!"I am sorry to say, no, I can't.I am going to start afresh.I know it is a great pity etc etc, that this site has great ranking, great viewership levels and great networking across the internet scape but I'm sorry, it is also due to you guys that my site has reached such awesome viewer count and often, gave me great perks such as movie tickets or party invites.If Doteonme, can garner such readership levels within 4 years, I'm sure in time to come, maybe my new blogging space may be as successful but I highly doubt so now as I really want a private space to work in.I have plenty of stupid thoughts and ideas I want to pen down but held back as sometimes, I think I will regret posting it after reading, such as above said links.Thus, a new private space for myself would be a great way to kick start my no holds barred writing again.Once again,Thank you.I love you guys for all the support you've given me especially at times when you sense something in the manner I write, I find that a really awesome feat that you have been reading my typing for so long that sometimes, you just know what's off kilter and would be concerned over me.Thank you.For all the wonderful memories you have helped to keep doteonme going strong.Thank you.For the pride I have when I blog due to your constant encouragement.Really,ZR 拜谢。 at a loss for words I spent a good few minutes with my hands hovering above the keyboard trying to think of an apt title for this.So I just settled with what was really happening, that I am at a loss for words to truly culminate everything that has been running through my head.Its over.The entire debacle between Joel and I is over.Found out he had a lot of issues with me that he kept mum about or I just didn't clue in and that he knew he didn't have feelings for me since the period I went Japan coz he threw everything away. That had me finding out his little lie again.It was kind of bad just now. There was pulling, tugging, yelling and a whole lot of crying.At the end of the day, it ended at my void deck with him cutting up all the stuff we made together and crud like a porcupine soft toy he won for me.I was crying like a nutty over that one because I found it damn cute and it was the first ever prize toy someone won for me.He sliced through a hell lot of our photos and at the end of the day, he threw out a whole lot stuff just to show me that yes, it was over.It was kind of scary, to actually look at someone whom you thought you knew so well, and find him so unrecognizable.The words that came out of Joel Kua Zi Xiang's mouth cannot be told from a lie or a truth.(I realised that when I call people by their full names, my eyes narrow into slits. Hmmm)I guess that was the part that did it when I realised it.We parted ways after a hug and he set off north bound as I trudged up to post this.He was saying that he meant EVERYTHING he said then, just that NOW, everything has changed, thus different circumstances.To me, I always knew that we shouldn't say stuff we don't intend or am absolutely sure we cannot keep, thus to me, his reasoning was deplorable.But that's just me. And that's just him being him.I know a whole lot of you are like getting sick of hearing this drama about us but hell. My blog, my world.Most of you think I'm dumb and incorrigible for placing faith in that dude, especially after all the crap he'd put me through with his constants omissions, lies, indecisiveness and all but I'm sorry.Your friend is a hopeless romantic, deal with it.I'm 90% emotions, 10% logic. Even though I know it won't work , if I feel like it, I'll do itAnd that is me. As irresponsible and inane as it may seem, it is me.And I love me for this particular factor that I am still able to love even though I grew up in a surrounding much devoid of it.I chose to believe that even though the scene set out before me propagates it as so, that true love is something that is not fiction.I learned from an early age to cherish, as death is unpredictable. I made up my mind at a very young age, that even though in life I would want to do well in my career, my priorities would always be my loved ones.And that will always be the case to me and I hope I never go astray.I need to leave this blog now people.Much love.XOXO. I started out with two posts one day. Two labels for the same subject however I found that writing for one side of it was particularly hard, thus I decided I'd just have to mash the two up together for the finale whereas for this penultimate post you'd have to make do with other ramblings of mine.Well, currently I have started out on building up a few blogs for my own usages, I plan on carrying out a few projects altogether and am rather looking forward to not having to work but am rather dulled by the fact I won't have much spending money for my miscellaneous items.I do still have a few items on my wish list ;3I am trying v hard to raise cash to try and pay up for something as borrowing the money is not really on the agenda, however I do know my limits and if I can't handle it, I would have to borrow.Many people have asked me on the suddenness of the prospect of being jobless, well, it definitely wasn't planned I'll give you that.Even ran around while in Japan looking for this e-mook:A Rebecca Taylor ( Same brand as my wallet!) carry pouch.Was thinking I could place all my work materials ( measuring tape, mini LED light, wet wipes, hp, money etc) in it and throw it into my big bag so whenever I make my rounds I can just leave the huge bag in the office and walk around with this small thing.Alas, once back in SG, my Mr Bean boss told me that it was not to be. So as they said, that is how the cookie crumbles.I think I am getting into a mighty big heap of trouble in work though, am seriously in the "ORD" mood already ever since they told me I would have to resign.Bean boss told me to stay a while more to give the next candidate the chance to apply for his "notice" of a month, thus I will be throwing letter in the middle of the month I guess.Oh, as you all know I've also volunteered myself into the big sporting event in August.Kind of excited, it has a bit of the NDP feeling in it. You know? The kind of like " What a stupid event, nobody cares about it yada yada" feeling but only us involved people would know how epic it was because it really wasn't about who cared about it, it was more about how much fun WE had in it. Hahaha.Joel was going all, " It's stupid" at me and was incredulous when I told him I volunteered saying it was a waste of my time.I think he truly mixed up the meaning of "waste". Oh the irony!I've been posting my Jap trip pictures up in random places.Look at how popular meh meh is!9 strangers like him!Other pictures I posted up garnered lukewarm responses, the most popular one with 33 hits was this though:I have got no idea why o.O-------------------------------------------------Things have been looking up in school, I have spent more time with certain classmates.I was really very touched by the gestures of the male classmates.Every time they look at me, they'd always offer to take my bag as they don't feel comfortable seeing me carry such a huge bag. Seriously, gentlemen like them are hard to find these days.Good news for one of my uni mates. I've went out with him a few times, we had really great amicable chats, and there was one point of time we bumped into a particular girl he was raving about."Her personality is very damn nice." He said."Oh? Then why don't you chase after her?" I countered." Well, I am sorry to say that I know it may sound superficial but I have the notion that I'm young and I would want the best for myself?" He said unconvincingly."Fiddlesticks. She looks fine." I sneered.And he just shrugged sheepishly, but in my heart I was like , " T_T NOOOOOO NOT ANOTHER GOOD GUY TURN BAD SUPERFICIAL IDIOT!"Guess who recently snagged himself a gf then? And the very same girl I was mentioning above! And yeap, he was damn embarrassed about it and I feel very happy for him and really do hope he'll be loads happy in future to come.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------GLEEI really dislike musicals.I'd always fast forward all the singing parts in disney shows.The only Disney song I actually have an inkling of remembrance would be Beauty and the Beast's theme song. I did like that cartoon, stupid clock and candle holder.My cousin highly recommended me to watch Glee sometime back.I straight out refused due to the musical numbers they did.However, one night, out of desperation to just watch some show to take my mind off things, I just clicked on Glee.And I've been hooked ever since. The story line goes real fast, and all but I am enchanted upon such an idea of a "show choir".I was once drafted into choir in primary school, I sincerely disliked it, especially the songs.I blame my big rib cage on choir practice! HMPH. Hahahahaha!Glee is about a "show choir" club made up of at least 12 members and the songs performed in the series are truly, my type of music.Defying GravityTruly one of my favourites ever since I heard it featured on Ugly Betty.The song is a number of the broadway musical "Wicked".For those who don't really have an inkling, "Wicked" is the "Prequel" to the Wizard of Oz. It shows the growing up stages of Elphaba ( The wicked witch) and the good witch etc etc. WIKIPEDIA IT.One of the first featured songs.AM ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE JOURNEY SONG OF MINE.Journey - Don't stop believing.Ah, my discovery of Journey all happened thanks to Supernatural. It started off with the song " wheel in the sky" and I got the whole album and this was one of the few songs I didn't delete.Loved the ending when all the boys sang "do you know what it feels like to be a girl". ;)Watching Glee really made me reminisce the days I'd just spend hours lying on the bed just listening to the radio.-------------------------------------------------------------Today, for the first time in a rather long time I actually fell asleep in school.I found out yesterday that the essay and presentation I did was wrong and had to work throughout the night changing everything. I didn't sleep a wink.During the long break, I couldn't take it and just fell asleep on the table in the student hub, only to wake up to find my classmates surrounding me doing stuff and watching videos.I must say, even though it is very weird, I bloody miss this scene.I really missed waking up from a cat nap to being surrounded by friends.In NP, Ronald would be beside me playing dota, and Weeky on the other side playing some game too while the rest slacked around the area of effect around me and if the lecturer was coming to check on us, they'd nudge me up.It just feels nice to open my eyes and the first thing I is someone smiling at me I guess, from time to time.---------------------------------------------------------------------I've recently been writing ideas all over on bits and pieces of paper whenever thoughts come about and now, I don't dare to throw anything away as I can't confirm where everything is -.-|||FML.----------------------------------------------------------------------I'm going to help a classmate of mine dye his hair this coming wednesday. Been a long time since I helped someone dye their hair. Hope it goes well!----------------------------------------------------------------------;) Dislike If there is one thing I hate most in life would be me being kept uncertain of thingsI often want to get to the root of the problem asap, I never want to leave a problem unsolved before sleeping and my mood really fluctuates when I am left to paranoia.Anyhow, random topic of the day.Sometimes, I do think that being female is tough.Let's just talk about the physical aspects.We have a lot of pampering items etc in life yes, however the changes our bodies have to endure monthly is no small feat to some.I have friends who roll over in pain every month and cannot do anything about it.My symptoms, ever since I started working, were a hassle.Some have pimples, some have appetite increasing and a lot of other symptom.There was once, I did not eat the entire day and just had one red bean bun.By standards of any other normal day I had then, it was definitely alright, I was used to it.However, the "aunt" decided to visit that day.The pain was so excruciating, the cold sweat was forming on my forehead and I almost passed out in a toilet cubicle. My eyeballs just kept rolling upwards and I knew that it I didn't get out of the cubicle, I was going to be found lying there.My situation escalated ever since I got hospitalized and when the gastric started.Pains were more frequent and inevitable, sometimes even had to take medication, I never used to take any at all man.The worse however, would be the fatigue. Damn.I find that I can sleep for more than 15hrs straight on the day before it arrives.Just because I am that tired.The week thereafter, sheer tiredness.I find myself adopting other habits like further consumption of coffee or sugar to help with keeping awake, to little avail.Thus, sometimes, when the guys at work or around me like to poke fun at women having PMS or just plain insult, I do fervently wish one day somehow they magically morph into a girl version of themselves. Reblog I’ve recently seen quite a number of people reblog this. I mulled over the fact whether I would have the same sentiments as the text however I find myself in deep doubt over it. If I were to see someone that I wished so hard for, I sincerely wouldn’t be happy just seeing him or her for a second. In fact, it’d make me cry even more knowing that we were literally so close yet so far. Control I have a confession to make. After the break up I lost control of many things. I tried really really hard to pull everything up together, to be responsible and take care of other people’s hearts before mine by ensuring them that I’m alright ( but I’m not…) and I neglect the building up of the tumultuous feelings inside. How I wish I can eat away the feeling that has been gnawing hungrily inside of me. I went shopping today, been a long time since I’ve done so. It didn’t help that everyone was disgusted at me and screaming at me to lose weight. It didn’t help that everybody thought I was just using it as an excuse. No, it didn’t help at all. And when I was in that topshop changing room trying on baggy dress after dress. I couldn’t help but feel immensely sad at the rashes, the scratches and the weight gain I’ve inflicted on myself.But that gnawing feeling inside of me just didn't go away. And I don’t know how to get rid of it. OH! I JUST REALISED THE DATE IS ARRIVING.I WONDER WHAT SHALL I DO.HMMMMM. FREAKING UPSET MY DOOFUS BROTHER SPOILED THE SIDE TABLE DARY GAVE ME>WTF!.I came home to realise what the fucks is sticking up from my table?As though a layer got peeled up like that, then I noticed, its the freaking LAMINATE!WTFWTFWTFWTF!And then I noticed the pool of water on the table!The brother filled up my water canister but didn't put it in a proper position and the water leaked all over the table.And since the table is made from compressed chip board, once water gets in only, it'll start to expand thus bursting through the laminate.ARGH!!!!!!!!!!WHY ARE ALL OF THEM ALWAYS RUNNING INTO MY ROOM WHEN I AM AWAY!!!! everytime you walk away or run away You take a piece of with you there.I used to do this all the time when I was younger.Crawl under the bed and stay there until my aunt had to pull me out by my leg.Now who will come pull me out from under the bed anymore?God, this feeling sucks. Cropping up. I made up my mind, and set on my plan, but something came up along the way again.WHAT THE. The other day I wrote two separate posts.One highlighting the bad points and the other highlighting the positive points of a person.You know those sayings about like, " Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." and yada yada.Well. I'm sorry I don't agree.I used to think it was true, and maybe one day, under circumstances, it will come true but for now I don't really think it is true. Take H, the ex bf for instance.One day when I was going wonkers, me finding a small gift from him calmed me down and made me smile.Coz it makes me think of the nice things of him, however that doesn't really stop me from remembering the catastrophic ending it had as well.What I am trying to say is, is it really possible that something that ended so bad, can be something good next time?I do know that good things can turn bad, if it ended bad that is for sure.Recently, I've come to realised that living in Singapore ain't exactly a bad thing.You just need a lot of imagination.Imagination is something that I used to relish, however I found myself forcibly quelling it as I grew older.When I was younger, if I do spot a mentally disturbed person, I'd immediately look away or try to avoid him/her. You could say I was afraid, but I wasn't afraid of them, more of like I was afraid of becoming them.I had a wild imagination back then, it will be a whole can of worms if I open them now.I could just spend hours staring at the ceiling away and my form teacher in Pri 2 was visibly very angry at the fact I can just space out in her class and even wrote it in my report book.Sometimes, while imagining things, my face would contort itself unknowingly either smiling and mouthing words.That's when I started reigning the imagination in.I forced myself to not think so much about it, forced myself to stick my head in the now, and told myself what was the bloody use thinking of so many things that may never happen in my lifetime?!I could have written several stories based on the thoughts I had, however, the fear of my thoughts over riding was there.And it just stopped.I won't say it stopped completely, but the stuff I imagine these days would be, more toned down.Like the other day at the bus interchange, my mp3 player suddenly played Steve Aoki's - Warp, just nice some bus driver was walking across the bus lot.Guess what scene was playing in my head.Hahaha, I was aware however my mouth was twining away into a smile. Meh meh adventures Hmmm?!Hallo!Terribly sorry for the lack of the Japan trip photos!Mistress has trouble uploading them into FB!Please wait a while more k! Why hello there. I instantly plucked this fella off a shelf when I first saw it.It reminded myself of me, can you guess why?Decided to just take a photo of it because of the price tag. Oh well. craving -xiaolongbaos-nice porridge [ The one near my house changed in taste D: So disappointed.]-mapo tofu :( The best was still at Hangzhou. Now I can't find anything similar- Sashimi-Kaminabe-Suki yaki-Charcoals-Teppanyaki vegetables[ I know, so weird, I just came back from Japan but over there I was really eating to live most of the time coz shashimi and such were really very expensive.]- steamed egg & Swee lee hainan chicken riceI haven't been able to eat good food recently ;\ fast food, instant noodles, subway and the likes.Sian. I did. I wake up everyday and tell myself to get over you, really I need and want to be happy, you are not worth it. But at the end of the day I can’t help but dial your number just to hear your voice. And then I’d start tearing up. I know you’re the asshole, I know you’re the motherfucker who abandoned me when I stood by you for so long taking in your shit just because I told myself that this was love, it was not all to be rosy and apple cheeked, but to work out the knots. Every time you promised something or said “I love you more” to me, I find myself doubtful but again, only time will tell. I hate myself for doing this to myself and I hate myself in the worst possible way for wanting someone that doesn’t want me, for making myself out to be so pathetic. Yet I can’t explain the invisible threads that pull me to do so. I can’t explain my actions, my thoughts and random mood swings sometimes. I used to think that I knew myself,that I loved myself too much but I guess I was wrong. Fucked up things can happen. restless 5:57 onwardsMayama: Hey Yamada, why did you fall in love with me? You're precious to me. So I've been thinking that I needed to turn you down properly if you ever told me you like me. But, I thought you'd go away somewhere else if I turn you down. When I look at you it hurt me because it was like looking at myself.The back ground music used to be a constant in my MP3 player, but I opted for more cheery tunes.Looks like I will be rooting around for it.Ahh... Honey & Clover. I have missed you much. This weekend was a crazy one.Plenty of things happened.I don't recognise me anymore sometimes.Yet seeing people in a similar plight as me somehow gave me courage.And I have somewhat, decided on a rather rash decision. I know it is not a solution, as it is only temporary but I think, for the sake of myself, I need to, I want to.And if possible, make it a long permanent one instead of a temporary one if all goes well.Sometimes, people don't know how much their presence affects people.I learned this a few weeks back before I went Japan.It could be for work, it could be a simple decision to just stay back, it could be a simple decision to take another form of transportation home that day and somehow, affect someone's life altering decision greatly.The day my colleague decided to stay back in the office.The day Daryl called before I uncorked the bottle.Plain, mundane things, that people will never know have a great impact on me, but on that day at that time, it did.Last night the last song played was this one.And I was silently cursing the band for playing it as I was literally struggling not to tear up to ruin a good night.The lyrics just sounded so.... argh.Love of my life, you hurt me,You've broken my heart, and now you leave me.Love of my life can't you see,Bring it back bring it back,Don't take it away from me,Because you don't know what it means to me.Love of my life don't leave me,You've stolen my love now desert me,More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/q/queen/#shareIt is rather hard, to admit, that the person who you have come to love, and would take a bullet for, or regard as your family, at the end of the day just 180 deg flip and does not regard you in the same way.Maybe this is why I am having difficulty.It is like you're a soldier who fought for your country long and hard, lost a limb and only to find out your nation has betrayed you and will not come back for you after its retreat.Oh well.I am about to embark on another series of adventure that may or may not end well.Who is to know, I only know I live for it. I don't want to go past these few months picking up pieces by myself, its really hard for me, I've tried.Some of you may fuck me upside down for doing it but I really hope not. I really treasure your opinions and your thoughts, I do know you only say the hurtful things for my own good but I do hope, just this one, give me a green light and wait it out for me to try it.Just like how I stood by you all these years.I know as a friend, we a have a natural instinct to stop friends from hurting themselves or do something stupid to themselves. We try our best to make them feel good about themselves, and try to protect them if we must.Maybe to you, this is not your definition of a friend, but sometimes, you don't know maybe you yourself will fall under these definitions as my friend.These are our prerogatives. In actual truth, you really may not know what is going on in the friend's thoughts and wishes.I fought really hard, no one knows except me because I am the only one that sees myself in the mirror when anything happens, nobody else is around. I just need someone to be around.And I realised after the other day, it doesn't matter if I alone keep fighting for it.He has to fight too.When I was really really at my wits end and emotionally drained when I was defending him all the way, he wasn't around, he wasn't helping, he wasn't supporting me.And now, all the damage he's done , he thinks it will go away by ending it all once and for all.He stated that it has been dragging for almost a year now, that was the exact same thing Ah woo said and I was so touched. Ah Woo remembered.Now here's the thing he forgot.Things got back together by the year end last year.We resolved issues, compromised and set things out.He was the one to forget out agreements.He now cites that I dredge up past events to compare but I think otherwise.I just find that the way he speaks to me recently is of a very impatient manner and he is constantly shouting at me, even though he does not realise it himself.If he does not want an " us" it does not matter how hard I fight, I can face down the whole world and burn the skies for all you care, but it just doesn't matter anymore.Its not something as simple as reciprocity, where I would expect him to do whatever I am willing to do for him, it is more about the basic need of needing me is not there.And how drastic things can change and how selfish his thoughts can be, he keeps on thinking this is all for ME, but its not.In some sick twisted way he thinks it will do me good.But it did not.I have thought long and hard about it.I will give it one more try, call me foolish, dumb twice over, but this was what I believed in.I used to think that love was something of mere happenstance, but over the years, the enticing glitter and glossy exterior peeled off to show a more hardy covering that was crafted out of practice and a lot of work.Work needs to be done to keep the love going , and it can't just come from one side, it's from both sides, it only takes one side to stop caring, to be lazy, to lose the passion to fight, to see the entire thing go crumbling to dust. Ever wondered What made you like the song so much even though you can't relate to it?My guess is that its some sort of psychic kismet.That is going to foretell your future. what the. Crying.Wailing.Laughing.Shutting eyes.Inebriated.Did the right thing.Pulled out.Laughing.Almost crying. 1000th post Completed.It is time to move on to another writing project I have been mulling over for sometime.And I have decided that should I not get an answer by a certain deadline I shall embark on it for closure. Incessant questions I realised after reading a few of my posts that I do ask incessant questions, random and idiosyncratic questions that gets pulled out of nowhere.And for those questions, I often get admonished at or get shot with irritated looks and the proverbial, "Why you ask this type of question?" or "Why you always ask so much?"Honestly?I have no idea.I guess it is one of my inane habits that I had since young. Along with rolling or lying on the floor and other miscellaneous stuff. Inquisitive some might call me, KPO/busy body some people might just call me that too.However, I had great moments with the sudden stuff that pop in sometimes and some that back then, I thought it was just a random question but looking back now, I treasure that moment.Like when I was about 6 years old, and in a car with my dad.  Me: Papa, where's our mountain?!Dad: Singapore where got mountain!?Me: Bukit timah leh!?[We were driving past it and I was peering out the window looking at how high the hill was.]Dad: We have hills, Bukit Timah HILL.Me: But it looks so high. Like a mountain like that.Dad: ……………………I suddenly thought of this because I was so near Fuji Mountain the other day as well as other mountains in Hokkaido.And it just made me chuckle.Me: Papa why you got a scar there on your face?Dad: Got into an accident.Me: HAH!? When?! Where?!Dad: Very long ago, Taiwan (I think, I must ask him again one of these days).Me: Why get into an accident leh?!Dad: Fell asleep while driving.Me: Why you will fall asleep?! (I was a kid back then, thought adults ought to know better and correct what they ought to!)Dad: Very tired lorI recently suddenly thought about this too.And it made me laugh out loud.The man who lectures me like a nutty over being responsible and gets angry at me whenever I make an honest mistake once made a very grave mistake himself too.All these random questions were always asked by me sitting in the passenger seat beside him while he drove us to places on the weekend outings we had.In fact, thinking about it now, he really was entertaining and accommodating me , giving me honest answers to questions asked by a kid man, he wasn't one to really entertain kids, as in he's a very stoic and strict person who prefers practicality anytime and the one time , the only time I remember him treating me like a small kid was when I got into the car on another weekend and was showing him my hands as I couldn't wash off the magic marker ink, and he was asking why my hand like that red red one.Me: Cannot wash, HOWWWWW? Cannot wash off forever how!?Dad: Don't worry, will surely go away one. Me: How you know!?Dad: I use magic ok.And you know what. I was freaking skeptical when he said that. At age 6, I find that pretty impressive of me ok, to doubt an adult's words, but when it soon came off I was like, "Wah! Really magic!"HAHAHAHA ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May day! Screwed up this photo plenty of times, thus my annoyed look.Currently in a hostel in Shiroishi (White rock), Sapporo.Twas raining the whole day, the day before when we visited the shiroi kiobito ( White lovers) factory was even worse, walked through the heavy rain for a bit and my hands were actually aching before the rain water was like ice water jetting down on them.The factory was awesome though. Freaking lovely. The smell once you step in was @*$#@)#_@_ awesomu.Today, we went to the music box museum and stuff, haha. The few days in Tokyo before I went off to Hokkaido was damn... eventful, well at least at one particular place. Be back when I be back, miss you all loads.xoxo. Will be back Mid may.Currently too busy running around.A pat on my back for not getting myself into deep crap or getting lost during these few days as I forgot my maps at home, lost my suica card, and lost my train ticket in transaction and many other nitty gritty stuff which I will explain in due time.Oyasumi!(Good night!) Before flying solo. Random vid and pics. Stories I was once beside my grandmother, while she was lying on the bed preparing to go to sleep. She kept on talking as though she was telling us something. My dad leaned in to get a closer hear and then patted my grandmother and told us that she's telling stories about things that happened in the past.What I heard, I didn't even recognise as coherent hokkien.But I guess thats what happens when you're old.The oddest thing though, is I currently have serious memory jogs. Flashes of very old stuff like the bed I slept in when I was 4/5 or things that happened when I was seriously young are starting to jump up vividly in my head.Things that I thought had faded into obscurity are suddenly coming back full force?The material of the bed's head board. The feeling of the cold tiles on the floor. The bolster I once used.Be it willingly or subconsciously, they're just streaming in.................... Today my aunts gave me a cheque for Japan, I was like "......"Srsly, when life gives you lemons, they give some sweet fruits somewhere along the way.Recently, my mother also passed me an envelope with a rather substantial amount inside. I thought amount was in Yen currency but I was like WTFBBQ when I saw it was SGD. I can see she is really putting in effort to put things as it was before and I appreciate it. However, I don't think I can take it another time if things go awry once they're alright again. You know what I mean? So now I'm taking this one step at a time. Don't dream its over Perfect getting drunk to song. Hahahaha Whack out doodly crazy One more 1.5 k word assignment tomorrow and I am whack out.I have not been doing very well this trimester, I admit, I am having much difficulty than usual controlling my emotions and letting them get in the way on top of ()#@(( group mates.I know I may look back and regret this, but I made the decision already and truly to my knowledge , that was how I handled my rage and moments of breaking down to the best I can.So if it be so, it shall be so.I'm going to go do something totally not me after this week.Who wants a kiss! Subject to approval! HAHAHAHAHA.The saddest saddest part of this entire cartoon was not how it dug his heart out.It was the part of "put a ribbon" around it that made me go all T.TRight Kua, you should know why right. Medium S3 EP 12 - The one behind the wheel My, 2 posts about tv in a day. We're on a roll!Could be because I've handed in my 3k+ essay up this evening!I swear I'm gonna go stupid after I hand in the last assignment.I've been watching another show called Medium.About this lady who has premonitions, and deals with spirits and such to help fight crime.This episode shows her being possessed by a spirit, and instead from her point of view. The point of view is switched to the husband.Applause for its depiction. We don't treasure whats beside us until we lose it. Even though the wife's form was still there, the husband was literally miserable, even while sitting beside the "wife" he still thinks about his actual wife and keeps wondering when will she return. Even leaving her a message on her voice mail saying that hearing her voice on voice mail, though recorded, was the highlight of his day.What nostalgia, haven't we all do this before some time in our life. Call someone's voice mail just to leave an awesome message.I never listen to mine unless its from people I know who would leave something nice behind, like bfs and such. I absolutely love leaving messages and saving messages recorded to me as I often replay them at night when I'm sleepless in Singapore.Oh well.And when he started crying when his "wife" came back, I was like, "awwwwwww."K, off to start a bit of work on the last assignment. Adios.