Please Like Cowboy Caleb On Facebook. Please. If you enjoy reading my blog, please go to my Facebook Fan Page and “like” me. This sounds awkward. Like as if I’m asking you to jerk me off or something. You see, Facebook no longer has Fan Pages. You cannot become a Fan of Cowboy Caleb. You can only like or dislike me. When you like me, you become a fan. But if you dislike me, a chasm opens at my feet and I plunge into the inferno to be tormented by a thousand million microscopic demons. So please for goodness sakes stop reading and please go to my Facebook Fan Page to “like” me. P.S: The old Caleb “Cowboy” Chang facebook account is now obsolete. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . “Eyjafjallajökull” The main thing about Mt. “Eyjafjallajökull” is not that it’s totally made flying over Europe impossible, but rather it has made life hell for news readers. Why only this afternoon, I heard a news reader on the BBC World Service say “… due to ash spewing from that volcano which hopefully shall not be named in the next hour”. Who the hells approves the names for such things anyway. You wouldnt be legally allowed to give your child a stupid name which might result in a life-time of torment and insult, so why go and name that darn thing “Eyjafjallajökull”? Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Prime Minister Najib’s “Come and Read 1Malaysia” campaign is one big smoke and mirror show Dear Prime Minister Najib, I read with great interest that you have persuaded Datuk Michelle “James Bond skank and other forgettable Hong Kong B-Movies” Yeoh to become the new reading ambassador for your “Come and Read 1Malaysia” campaign. That Michelle woman probably can’t even read, which is why she donating her collection of books (which probably are still unread to this day) to the National Library which will set up a Michelle Yeoh Reading Corner (oh, the irony!). I am not alone in thinking that celebrities are not the way to encourage our youths to read. These youths are already lagging so far behind thanks to the broken Malaysia education system, that much much more needs to be done. First of all, if you want to encourage people to read then build more libraries for goodness sake. When I was a small boy growing up in Johor Bahru, there were only 2 libraries for the entire damned city. And none of those libraries were anywhere near major housing estates. 30 years later, Johor Bahru has exploded in size, and we still have the same damned 2 libraries? Without libraries, people won’t read. You don’t believe me? Checkout the prices of books at any local bookstore in Malaysia. They range from ridiculous to incredible. Why do books cost so much in Malaysia? Is there a stupid tax imposed on books because they make people smarter? I don’t buy books, and I’m quite well off. Well how about poor folks, especially the downtrodden bumiputra that you are supposed to be the guardians of? We don’t need any “Come and Read 1Malaysia” campaign. What we need is as many libraries mushrooming up in major housing estates. What you need to do is force book publishers to give a free copy of any book that they want to place on a bookshelf, to every single public library first. And one last thing, I didn’t vote for you to become prime minister. Come next election, I’m voting for anybody that runs against you. Keep Rollin, C. Caleb (esq) Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Meet the daughter of Cowboy Caleb .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; } .flickr-yourcomment { } .flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Sent from the mobile phonecam of cowboycaleb. Say hello to Siobhan Saint-John ( pronounced Sha-vonne Sin-jun), my daughter born this morning. She is expected to become the future female president of Malaysia, find a cure for cancer and became an Olympic gymnastics gold medallist. Hehhe Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . How to choose a digital camera How to choose a digital camera – flowcharts make everything easier. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Servant And I So we now have an Indonesian maid. She’s 29 years old, from a farming community in rural Indonesia and arrived in our household with a swollen foot. I took her to see a doctor and he thinks she has gout, which I think is correct because all she was fed was cheap tempeh with rice while she was training (stuff like cooking spaghetti apparently) at the Maid Camp. I am very uncomfortable with having a human servant in my house, under my employ. In fact, I have never imagined that one day I could ever afford to have a servant. My grandmother used to be the cleaning lady at the local bank, so that’s how poor we were. Once the reality that we now live in a big white house and can afford live-in servants sinks in, I’m totally and utterly shocked. Yes, I have a maid in China. But she’s employed by the company and doesn’t live in my apartment. So I never really thought of her as mine. But this Indonesian maid is totally under my mercy. She eats what I give her. She sleeps when I tell her. She does whatever she is told to do. I find this responsibility totally humiliating. How can one human bean be subservient to another? So why did we hire her? Because my wife is delivering soon and the amount of housework (ie. washing nappies) is set to triple. It’s not some social status ego-trip. Last night, I took her grocery shopping at the local shopping mall. She silently pushed the trolley and followed us while we pursued our usual consumerist fantasies. Later, we went for coffee and cake at a upmarket cafe where she had no idea how to drink a proper cup of tea. I am running out of things for her to do. Probably the most time-consuming task is that I want all my clothes to be ironed. But she’s done that as well. So I’ve been dumping her at my sister-in-law’s place to help out. She prefers it there because there are children running around whereas my house is really silent. Just like I try to treat the thousands of people I hire in China like human beings, I try to be nice to my Indonesian maid. She barely understands the Malay I speak to her but I try to chat with her anyway. She does not eat leftovers but whatever my family eats as well. She has her own room and bathroom with a new mattress & pillow. We bought some new clothes for her when she arrived (with a bag containing several old clothes). I also bought her a mini hi-fi for her room so she can relax at night. I understand very much, that she’s in a foreign country away from her family so that she can earn money. Isn’t that a lot like me? I’m also away from my family in a foreign country because I need to earn money. In a way, I feel a sense of shared understanding with her. So I do try to make it easier for her. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Enter The Zeus Of Gamblers So my dad revealed to me unintentionally that my granduncle’s father, was a professional gambler who never worked a day in his life. So you remember your granduncle who passed away 2 years ago? His father was a professional gambler who never worked a day in his life. And he refused to pass his skills on to the next generation because he thought gamblers were lazy useless men. Err.. isn’t my granduncle’s father like your father’s father? Err.. yeah. So that would explain my insane gambling skillz when the mood hits me. It’s freaking genetic. The DNA mechanism bywhich luck is sprinkled like fairydust into the air, is in my blood. Singapore casinos, I am coming for you. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Pretty in pink for the wife .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; } .flickr-yourcomment { } .flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Sent from the mobile phonecam of cowboycaleb. Just bought my wife the latest Sony W series notebook in pink at the HKIA dutyfree using my ill-gotten gains at the Macau Venetian casino from last week Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . IMAGINE that the world consists of 20 men and 20 women… IMAGINE that the world consists of 20 men and 20 women, all of them heterosexual and in search of a mate. Since the numbers are even, everyone can find a partner. But what happens if you take away one man? You might not think this would make much difference. You would be wrong. In other news, it sucks to be a single black woman. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers. JetBlue, a commercial carrier known for its thrifty rates, has come out ahead of the pack, however, and is being lauded for its decision not to charge non-passengers not to fly. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . China PRC Prostitutes Being Given PR Status in Singapore China PRC Prostitutes Being Given PR Status in Singapore – this is amazing!!! They don’t give it to Malaysian whores who have been working the Geylang districts for donkey years. Why ah?! (via) Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . How Lady Gaga Came To Be How Lady Gaga Came To Be – The self-invented, manufactured, accidental, totally on-purpose New York creation of the world’s biggest pop star. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Malaysia’s EPF trumps Singapore’s CPF Malaysia’s EPF trumps Singapore’s CPF – but only if you’re a millionaire. Conclusion: Overall, Malaysia FAIL. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Barang Barang is Bankrupt!!! Expats stranded as Barang Barang goes bust and MD resigns in family affair. WTF. And here we are in the middle of a property buying frenzy. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . How To Be Your Alpha Best How To Be Your Alpha Best Want to be the leader of the pack — the guy everyone turns to, especially when the game’s on the line? The so-called “alpha male”? You won’t have to wear some kind of testosterone patch, and you certainly won’t have to take illegal performance-enhancing drugs. One thing you can do, though: Cultivate some alpha attitude. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Cowboy Caleb & Uniqlo – The Movie Cowboy Caleb & Uniqlo – The Movie Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . It’s Only A China Song My wife says I’ve been in China too long because she’s never heard the songs below but to me they’re like the hottest thing on the charts. Yes, my taste in music has taken a turn for the worse. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The politics of yakuza The politics of yakuza – very interesting. And it’s by a gai-jin too. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The cunning taxi drivers of Macau have a tray to catch your loose change on the way to the airport .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; } .flickr-yourcomment { } .flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Sent from the mobile phonecam of cowboycaleb. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Best Free Software of 2010 The Best Free Software of 2010 – We don’t want to make you feel bad, but, uh… are you really still paying for software? Wow. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . I Know Why I Wake Up In The Morning, Do You? I now know why I have not quit this job. Despite having been sent to a miserable location, working 14 hour days, working weekends, being away from my family and a whole lot of other shite, I have been chugging away here for 4 years now. There were times when I almost left when other companies tried to poach me. But somehow at the last minute, I always turned them down. The reason is so simple. It was staring at me all the time in the face. It was never the money, nor the job nature or the industry or the company. Power had nothing to do with it either. And it was definitely not the perks. Each morning, I wake up and walk into the office feeling energized and ready to take on the world – because my job is a series of never-ending puzzles to solve. Because each puzzle is a different challenge, I never get bored. It fully occupies my mind for the entire day. So with each puzzle I solve, I don’t feel a sense of relief – instead I see it as a welcome to the start of the next puzzle. Sometimes, I have to solve multiple puzzles at the same time. With the experience accumulated from solving so many puzzles, I am ready to take on even more difficult ones. How about you? Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . I’m not sure why I wrote this Last Friday, I flew back to Singapore and arrived at 3.30am whereby I immediately proceeded to a nearby McDonalds where a friend was waiting for me. We spoke until 7am and then I went home to my wife. My friend must forgive me for writing about this. Part of me has also died, because he tried to kill himself. I first met him as me, not Cowboy Caleb about 6 years ago. He only realized who I was a couple of months later. So I always assumed that I was friends with him, and not Cowboy. That is an important distinction. He accepted me for who I was. Everybody else was friends with Cowboy and I sadly think to this day, they never really got to know me. Perhaps it was my fault because I was always slow to open up and trust. But he ever was my friend. Brought up a Catholic, I was taught that suicide was the worst thing you could do to yourself. Unforgivable. And yet, here was my friend. Why did he do it? Was part of the blame mine to bear? Did I not spend enough time with him in his time of need? He did it because people are wicked wicked creatures, he explained. Unable to bear their wickedness any further, he did the unthinkable. As we sat down on the floor of his disheveled bachelor pad, I thought deeply and shared my opinions. I do not know if my words penetrated his drug-addled mind. When I left his apartment, I swear I tasted a tinge of melancholy in the morning air. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Not Many Children Realize How Lucky They Are I have 4 nephews and 1 niece, all aged between 2 to 8 years of age. They eagerly look forward to my trips back home because I am the only person that willingly takes them (in chronological order) swimming, out for pizza, to the Japanese arcade playground place and for lunch at their favorite noodle shop. Everybody including my wife wonders why I do such stuff willingly when I can’t even be bothered to take the trash out. I guess I do it because I want them to have some nice childhood memories. Those memories of my childhood that are the sweetest are of those places that various uncles and aunties brought me to willingly. I recall my grumpy uncle (he wasn’t grumpy 23 years ago) taking me to the zoo where I had a fantastic time. Then there was the time my grumpy auntie (she wasn’t grumpy 24 years ago either) cooking me the most fantastic tasting instant noodles because it was raining too hard to go out. However, I also remember being left out and not going to the swimming pool with my cousins because I was a ‘nuisance’ and ‘there was not enough room in the car’. And how about the parties I did not attend because they ‘forgot’ to invite me. That kind of shite is not going to happen to my 4 nephews and 1 niece. I don’t care if they’re not the sons and daughters of lords. I don’t care if they’re not the most beautiful children in town. They are children, and the only worry that children should have is that they’re not having enough fun. They should never have the feeling that everytime they leave the room, the party starts again. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . A nobody’s guide to the Oscars You know you’re not going to win. You’re seated in second-class. You’ve trodden on someone’s dress. Author Neil Gaiman on what it’s like to be invisible at the Oscars Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Art of the Steal: On the Trail of World’s Most Ingenious Thief Art of the Steal: On the Trail of World’s Most Ingenious Thief – M:I’s Ethan Hawke in the flesh Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . 100 Blogs That Should Be Required Reading In College 100 Blogs That Should Be Required Reading In College Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . More American Ladies Forced Willingly Into Whoredom More women are turning to sex work in a bad economy. Does it beat working at McDonald’s? Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Confirmed: Kuala Lumpur is ‘gayer’ than Penang Confirmed: Kuala Lumpur is ‘gayer’ than Penang – in other news, gaylords flock to migrate to Kuala Lumpur. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Top 10 Truly Disturbing Films Top 10 Truly Disturbing Films – what’s disturbing is that I’ve only seen one of the movies listed here (Hard Candy) and by golly, I watch a lot of movies. Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . (NSFW): The most WTF thing you will watch today (NSFW): The most WTF thing you will watch today Copyright © 2010 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - .