Singapore Female Blogger Vs Molesterer Singapore Female Blogger Vs Molesterer - blogger wins of course Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Cowboy Caleb’s Inspiring Fanmail It’s days like this, when I receive this kind of email - that I realize why I keep blogging everyday. Click on more below to read the full fanmail. Dear Cowboy Caleb, My name is David. I am 13 years old. I read your blog everyday from my hospital bed where I have been stuck in for the past 3 years now. The doctors don’t know what is wrong with me and won’t let me go home. I enjoy living life through you. You have an exciting job that brings you to all kinds of exciting places. I’ve followed you to Bangkok, Darwin, Krabi, Macau, Hong Kong, Guangzhou etc. You have many interesting friends (like the Cowboy Barflies) from all walks of life. The adventures you have, exist both on your blog and in my imagination. Thank you for blogging, and thank you for sharing your life with the rest of us. When I grow up and leave this hospital, I want to be just like you. regards, David - your number one fan Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories. No I’m not kidding. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Second Most Beautiful Girl in New York The Second Most Beautiful Girl in New York Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Omnivore’s Hundred The Omnivore’s Hundred (meme picked up from Tym) is something all of you need to blog about NOW! 1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions. 2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten. 3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating 1. Venison 2. Nettle tea 3. Huevos rancheros 4. Steak tartare 5. Crocodile 6. Black pudding 7. Cheese fondue 8. Carp 9. Borscht 10. Baba ghanoush 11. Calamari 12. Pho 13. PB&J sandwich 14. Aloo gobi 15. Hot dog from a street cart 16. Epoisses 17. Black truffle 18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes 19. Steamed pork buns 20. Pistachio ice cream 21. Heirloom tomatoes 22. Fresh wild berries 23. Foie gras 24. Rice and beans 25. Brawn, or head cheese 26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper 27. Dulce de leche 28. Oysters 29. Baklava 30. Bagna cauda 31. Wasabi peas 32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl 33. Salted lassi 34. Sauerkraut 35. Root beer float 36. Cognac with a fat cigar 37. Clotted cream tea 38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O 39. Gumbo 40. Oxtail 41. Curried goat 42. Whole insects 43. Phaal 44. Goat’s milk 45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth US$120 or more 46. Fugu 47. Chicken tikka masala 48. Eel 49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut 50. Sea urchin 51. Prickly pear 52. Umeboshi 53. Abalone 54. Paneer 55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal 56. Spaetzle 57. Dirty gin martini 58. Beer above 8% ABV 59. Poutine 60. Carob chips 61. S’mores 62. Sweetbreads 63. Kaolin 64. Currywurst 65. Durian 66. Frogs’ legs 67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake 68. Haggis 69. Fried plantain 70. Chitterlings, or andouillette 71. Gazpacho 72. Caviar and blini 73. Louche absinthe 74. Gjetost, or brunost 75. Roadkill 76. Baijiu 77. Hostess Fruit Pie 78. Snail 79. Lapsang souchong 80. Bellini 81. Tom yum 82. Eggs Benedict 83. Pocky 84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant 85. Kobe beef 86. Hare (rabbit counts!) 87. Goulash 88. Flowers 89. Horse 90. Criollo chocolate 91. Spam 92. Soft shell crab 93. Rose harissa 94. Catfish 95. Mole poblano 96. Bagel and lox 97. Lobster Thermidor 98. Polenta 99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee 100. Snake Wow, so as you can see I have had nearly everything on the list. No wonder I’m such a fat bastard. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Cakes Gone Terribly Horribly Wrong Cakes Gone Terribly Horribly Wrong Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Burning Questions That Keep Me Awake At Night What the hell is wrong with me What is the black smoke monster on the Lost Island? Would Batman be able to kick Ironman’s butt? What the hell is wrong with her? If I wake up early tomorrow, would I be able to go jog or swim? What was that thing I was supposed to have ready by tomorrow? Assuming I continue like this, when will I be able to retire? Why do women keep swarming me if I’m ugly? What the hell is wrong with us? Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Found A Reason To Buy An iPhone so I just found out that the perennial Evernote (a multiplatform application that captures, links and stores information) now runs on the iPhone. I say that’s a pretty compelling reason to buy an iPhone now. I might just head out to Mongkok (HK) this weekend to buy myself one. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . How to be a good intern How to be a good intern. I wish this was mandatory reading in Uni’s and Poly’s. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Buying an iPhone in Shanghai - READ THIS SINGTEL ASSHATS Buying an iPhone in Shanghai - READ THIS SINGTEL ASSHATS. Only RMB4000 (about SGD800) gets you an iPhone that’s unlocked and ready to use. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Ten Truly Underrated Sci-Fi Movies Ten Truly Underrated Sci-Fi Movies Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . How I Learned to Love Middle Managers How I Learned to Love Middle Managers - I hoped to create a utopian workplace. Instead, I caused an employee revolt. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Cowboy Caleb Doesn’t Want You To Go Blind From Being In His Divine Presence lah In a nutshell, BlogTV (some show on Channelnewsasia) asks me to be interviewed to answer some painfully obvious questions. The problem is that I’ve noticed in the past that people (the general public) tend to go blind from being in my divine presence. Technically, the only way to ensure people remain safe is to make them read my blog or listen to me whisper (if I speak normally, people develop urinary tract infections, hence the hushed tones). Update: somebody emailed to ask what happens if a blind person is in my divine presence - the answer is that blind males gain another 2 inches of penile length while blind females obtain the ability to ’see’ through male bullshit. Click below to read the full email conversation ************************************ Hi Caleb, Hope this email finds you well. My name’s Jacqueline and I’m from the blogtv programme team of ChannelNewsAsia, Singapore. In an upcoming episode of the talk show, we’re exploring the topic, “is traditional mass media losing its influence?” Basically, traditional mass media like print, radio and TV seem to be losing ground to the advent of the Internet and more recently, mobile technologies like 3G streaming. There has definitely been an increase in the number of people turning to the web for their news updates, on internet news websites, blogs and online communities, newspapers and TV news have definitely been affected. Radio has also been losing listenership to podcasts and iTunes. As the song goes, “video killed the radio star”. Has blog now killed the radio/video star? As a blogger yourself, I hope you’ll be able to join us in the discussion and share your views. I understand that you travel often and may not be in Singapore at that time. In that case, we could do a Skype interview or conduct a short 3G video call if you are in Singapore and unable to travel to the location for the recording. Please feel free to call me should you have any questions. If you wish to find out more about the show or watch a couple of episodes, you may go to www.blogtv.sg. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon! Warm regards, Jacqueline Seng Producer, English Current Affairs ************************************ Sent: Sat 8/23/2008 12:45 PM To: Jacqueline Seng Subject: Re: Is traditional mass media losing its influence? Hi, Thanks for this wonderful op. Unfortunately, I would like to remain anonymous and that means keeping my ugly mug out of sight from the general public. I don’t mind if it’s a voice recording but no videos, please. regards, C. Caleb ************************************** Hi Caleb, We’ve had interviewees on the show before who wished to remain anonymous. For example, one guy on the show wore a cap low to cover his face, the cameraman would frame the shot just right and we addressed him as Bob. We can also do something similar for a Skype phone call if you don’t even want us (the production team) to see you in person. =) Would you be comfortable with that? Let me know your thoughts. Regards, Jacqueline ************************************** Hi Jaqueline, Thanks for asking, but I decline. regards, C. Caleb Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Hiralious Parady of Dawn Yang by Xiaxue I YAM GOING TO SIT KNEE TUMOROW!!! Xiaxue +100 versus the original I AM GOING TO SYDNEY TOMORROW via Cakie Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Advice On Dealing with Difficult People Advice On Dealing with Difficult People Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Trimming Expenses, Citibank Holds Back on Color Copying Trimming Expenses, Citibank Holds Back on Color Copying Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Mandarin, Muthaf87ker - Do You Speak It? In the mother of all ironies, the one boy in his class who could barely speak Mandarin let alone read or write it, ended up getting sent to China. I’m talking about myself by the way. While my Mandarin language skills have improved by leap and bounds in the past 2 years I have been sojourning in China, real problems lurk under the surface. I’ve managed to get by, simply because management in China shrug their shoulders and point out that the fact that I’m a regional manager so the only language I’m expected to conversant in is English and Politicalese. To a certain extent, that is true. Simply by virtue of combining incredible English and grade-level Mandarin during meetings, I find myself able to open up doors and move mountains. The problem comes when I have to manage my own team. How do you manage details, when you can’t communicate the actual details in Mandarin to your team? And by details, I mean day-by-day operational f87kshit issues that come faster than you can solve them. And how on earth can you make decision or be aware of which issues require priority when you can’t really fully understand the machine gun Mandarin coming out of your team’s mouths? My team gets frustrated because they can’t get me to understand. I get frustrated and frightened because I can’t understand. Everybody loses. Any expats out there with similar issues? Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Straits Times Learns That The Intarwebs Can Be Edited The Straits Times Learns That The Intarwebs Can Be Edited - and of course they’re editing away like crazy??? Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . How to draw anything - guranteed to impress How to draw anything - guranteed to impress Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Chinese Hungry Ghost Month in Johor Bahru, Malaysia The Chinese Hungry Ghost Month in Johor Bahru, Malaysia Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . “What if Michael Phelps was a Chinese?” “What if Michael Phelps was a Chinese?” Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Intarwebs Sexual Assault Investigators A case of sexual assault on a bus became an Internet human flesh search for the perpetrators, but the netizens who tried to follow the bus were assaulted by the bus workers. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . I LOVE GEYLANG - A BLOG I LOVE GEYLANG - A BLOG. It’s run by somebody named Ikkoku Maison, living in Geylang Lorong 16. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Holy Shit: Green Grapes growing in the hot tropical land of Borneo Holy Shit: Green Grapes growing in the hot tropical land of Borneo Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . The Photoshop or Plastic Surgery Journey of Angela Baby? The Photoshop or Plastic Surgery Journey of Angela Baby? (via plurk) Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . That’s allright, David Beckham. We’s understanding. That’s allright, David Beckham. We’s understanding. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Cowboy Caleb Chats With Some Kuching Geologists I’ve been wanting to write about my trip to Kuching, the capital of Sarawak but I keep delaying it because all the photos are back home and I’m currently in China. But there is one curious incident I would like to to share with you. One night after a ridiculously large seafood dinner (lobsters, prawns etc for only Rm150!!!), all the women went for a massage at some spa while I went off with the boys to a local pub. Now Kuching is very close to the off-shore petroleum rigs. It was at the pub that I was introduced to 2 geologists who worked for SHELL. They had just finished a 1 month stint on the rig and had just arrived back on the mainland. Some questions I asked these 2 geologists, and their shocking answers: Will Malaysia running out of oil soon? Not likely. In fact, we just found another 3 wells last week. And we weren’t even trying very hard. The oil here is going to last a very long time. Note: they get a couple of thousand dollars as a bonus each time they strike oil. So why are Malaysians paying so much for oil? Malaysian oil is of pretty high quality. The F87king government would rather sell it and pocket the proceeds and leave the common people to suffer. So how liddat? Don’t know about you, but once we make our money here, we’re migrating. So now you know why Malaysian PM Badawi can reduce the price of petrol at will, and his deputy PM Najib can threaten us to cancel future reductions. Malaysia BOLEH!!! Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Racist Rules For Malaysian School Debate Competition Racist Rules For Malaysian School Debate Competition Insane rule forces all debate teams to have at least one Bumiputera (read: Malay) student to participate. Effectively rules out Chinese and Indian language schools. Even Malay students think this is dumb and insulting. Meritocracy at its worst. Racism at its best. Fuck UMNO. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Muslim Malaysian DPM Is Actually A Hindu? Muslim Malaysian DPM Is Actually A Hindu? Driver swears that the current deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia, Najib Tun Razak and his wife are actually practicing Hindus… you won’t read this in the papers… Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - . Here’s The New Obsession: Mycrocosm Mycrocosm is a web site that makes it possible for people to use statistical graphs for expressive social communication. It allows you to define what you want to say (graphically) and provides convenient ways to enter data. I don’t even begin to know how to describe the geeky pleasure that is Mycrocosm. Basically, you create datasets and populate it with myriad useless information about your insignificant existence and Mycrocosm spits out pretty looking graphs. Here, we have a breakdown of how I’m spending my hours of the day - I plan to update this every morning for the previous day. And here, we have a list of stuff that worries me, and how badly it affects me. You can checkout the rest of my Mycrocosmic shite on my page here. This is so cool. You can update it via email or sms. So signup and start creating mycrosm’s that track the number of vintage dresses you own (don’t forget the colours), how many hours you’ve been spending in the bathroom and all kinds of other irrelevant crap about your life that will delight the insane audience that is the Intarwebs. Oh and don’t forget to add me as a friend. Copyright © 2008 Cowboy Caleb - http://cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com - .