after-effects i did not blog before it.. and i will not blog after it too.. i spend too lil time on myself.. ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurts Tesshu’s Doka If your mind is not projected into your hands even 10,000 techniques will be useless. Against an opponent’s sword assume no stance, and keep your mind unmoved; that is the place of victory. Swordsmanship: I am not struck nor is my opponent hit; unobstructed I move in and attain the ultimate. Where swords meet throw off illusion; abandon yourself and you will tread on the living path. The form which arises from no-mind stands in the center of things; blows come but do not connect; what a marvel! Spirit, swift; mind, calm; body, light; eyes, clear; technique, decisive! Self-centered thoughts are reflected as clearly as in a mirror; let others see them, and you will be making a fool of yourself. Piled up high, the snowman (just like everyone else), after a few days, goes somewhere without a trace. from: The Sword of No-Sword: The Life of Master Swordsman Tesshu by John Stevens. 6/6/07 (reserved) to do list to be fully completed in 2 mths  do a webbie for my mom and learn on property (if anyone need a property agent contact.. do leave a comment or call me) to be completed by the end of my ERS course to become less sleepy in camp and build some mucsles to learn the art of saving money Deadline: before its too late. to be added on… Fun stuff  http://www.miniclip.com/games/bp-gas-mania/en/ This game allows you to work as not only any gas station attendant but a BP gas station attendant. Serve customer with heart and pride. This game is very good for character building. This game has changed the lifes of many around the world. I would rate it 4 out of 5 stars. Enjoy. (HAHAHAHAHAA) u’re all right abt me.. i should just leave.. automatically.. instead of prolonge this relationship that you know wont last and still wanna be with me and get hurt by me.. why?? i dont understand that.. you say u love me.. but whats the meaning of it if the only thing when things so wrong you just get sick of things and walk out on me.. love me? not? i’m weak.. limp.. selfish.. self-centered.. i knew i couldnt love you the way u wanted.. i knew it all along.. i try so hard but u just dont see the picture dont you.. if you want everything to be like what you want.. then so be it.. you always said that we rushed into this relationship.. u wrote letters.. bought presents.. cook.. bought sweets.. fetch me from camp.. work.. drive.. you did a hellva lot things for me.. but how do u expect me to ‘repay’ u.. i’m sry i’m not rich.. i’m sry i’m not nice looking enough for u.. i’m sry that i’m not sweet enuff to you.. i’m sry i’m not humorous enuff for u.. i’m not the ‘u’ you wanted.. i’m sry.. all the disappointments and heartaches i given u.. i apologise.. before i make my leave.. i just wanna say.. i never tried to love someone so hard before like you.. and as painful as it seems.. good bye.. stomach flu it all happened after training.. me + fire leggings + fire jacket + helmet + facemask + oxygen tank + lung demand valve total add on weight around 13kg and i gotta walk on treadmill, do weights, cycle on bicycle, climb ladder and go thru maze.. what the heck??? +breathing that lousy air which is not even pure oxygen.. dry and woody…. i can feel the walls of my throat flaking..  and right after taking of my face mask.. i gulp the ice cold water my friend passed to me.. TADA! stomach FLU! smart man.. fuckin fuckin painful shit.. haiz… bbl.. Sat, 12 May 2007 02:59:58 +0000 Should i trust my instincts or what i hear? i wish i knew.. are you what you say or are you all hidden inside? pain of silence not even a whisper. who would understand this feeling except you. pain of silence not even a whisper. who would understand this feeling except you. book in day booking in at 830pm. feeling alright. i will miss you. love love yourself. be deserving. Prepare yourself for success. develop role models. Dont just look at them, learn from them. be positive. get over the shits in life. or get stuck in it. blame game is for losers. make mistakes but never the same one. makes decisions that reduces the number of things you have to stress about in life. be willing to try. be pro-active. my 2 cents Protected: my appreciations baby This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: Password: getaway beep beep beep 6 7 8   our getaway tho not far but together =) some precious time to sit and talk… i guess we had enuff of mis-communications. haha. I cant wait hahaha… hope this can subsitute the hongkong trip t_T miss ya hmmm hongkong here i come after after 12 yrs.. oh man i’m old.. haha.. but why must u increase the hotel pricing on first week of march! school holidays? and now when i wanna book napfa for tmr.. the system is down……. greatness.. >( no mood for anything now… hmm… insignificant lil me………. () open-mindedness “poor” is no longer in my dictionary becoming rich instead and giving myself a chance.. gong xi gong xi a different kind of lunar new year this kind.. interesting.. things will get better.. things will get bettttter… Thu, 15 Feb 2007 08:52:34 +0000 “A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know.” -diane arbus vivify afreshnewstarttobeundecided. its you and me.. yea you there.. love ya.. .. me.. Sat, 10 Feb 2007 02:15:32 +0000 i keep having the same fucking nightmare.. so real i’m confused.. sigh.. i needa cuddle.. so tired.. antithesis life is not the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.. .. or 1 will fall.. acrophobia conquered by sitting a glass cabin cable car alone! GREATNESS ME! prude fulgent and heartwarming.. i wish i could see the light at the end of the tunnel.. guess the word light is too vague.. a light so dazzling that it’ll blind and burn you.. a light as gentle as candlelight.. but fickle.. a light that makes you tear each time you see it.. i think we’ve all already seen the light.. the different blends of lights.. intertwining and bending to form the different things we’re already experiencing.. self-deception and self-stupidity and greed.. filtering what i wanna see from what i dont wanna see.. totally blind from our surrondings.. makes human always on the run, always looking for something greater.. well.. .. not.. narcoleptic but.. well worth it.. hmm.. 5th feb.. a special day for my lil baby.. not expecting anything in return.. just wanted you to smile when you think back on this special day.. … mentally too 31st jan 2007 napfa tmr 730am at toa payoh stadium but my big toe nail just came off.. loads of pus.. crap.. i will pass anyways… (i fear that i might fear sit and reach AH) sometimes i wish we could go dutch sometimes.. Jesse Brand New [2006] - The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me hear his songs and read his lyrics.. i think he’s going insane.. sigh.. touching the inner emotions one bit too many.. hes gona kill himself real soon.. aikes.. training time http://www.mysixpackquest.com/ wow… i wanna lick his abs.. he’s so clean no hair! cute.. my body fats is back to 15.3% uhhh… height rite now 175+cm i think.. weight 64kg gona hit 66kg and to 12% fats in 2 weeks.. done this countless of times b4… but i dont have the determination to continue my training.. GOGOGOGO!!!! GET UR LAZY ASS OF UR CHAIR AND GO DO SOME JOGGGING AND CRUNCHES! superficial like plastic [lyrics.] im heaven sent, dont you dare forget. i am all you’ve wanted, what all the other boys all promised. sorry i told. i just needed you to know. i think in decimals and dollars. i am the cause to all your problems, shelter from cold. we are never alone. coordinate brain and mouth. then ask me whats it like to have myself so figured out. i wish i knew.. i wish i knew.. how can i stop my brain from thinking about everything around me.. an illness? lol