this is such an awesome book.go.read.it. thanks, thanks everyone showing mi concern regarding my previous post.but hor.. tat's only to relieve my unhappiness lahhh..i'm fine now :)alrite. maybe nt quite.. but for a couple of days before that depressing episode, i was fine and happy. lol. happiness is always short-lived, aint it?anyways. told a colleague abt ending iap earlier than scheduled. he was kinda surprised at first, then he came over and said in a soft but serious tone (i dun think i've ever seen him this serious before actually) "do you think that 'no space' is really the actual reason that u're leaving?"oh well. i dont deny that i havn't thot abt it.that 'no space' is being used as a convenient reason for mi to leave the company.well. for an intern, that particular incident is no joke. who would think a small intern could do as much damage to the company? sigh. actually, i wouldnt really consider that a really big matter. not that i keep giving such troubles (it's actually my first time loh) but such situations happen EVERYWHERE.yes i'm sorry for making mistakes but that doesnt mean that i didnt bother nor i didnt try hard enough.i keep worrying everyday.. have i missed anything, have i been careless.. have i done anything wrong.. are the files in the right format and size.. fuck, i'm paranoid.*breathe in*alrite. enough of complaints. i shouldn't be complaining (tho it really makes mi feel ALOT better). gotta learn working in a corporate culture, yeah?actually no harm leaving early. i've learnt alot actually. but i wanna learn more.. just that i guess i'm not up to it yet. like if u havn't learnt how to walk, how do you fly, rite?as for my 'holiday' guess i'd be doing self-initiated projects.sigh. good luck for the rest of my iap :) why does everyone tell mi everything's okie when it's NOT!!??tat's nt helping mi to feel better.i screwed up my iap so much.. so upset.. i was out there crying alone in the night that my eyes turned puffy. how am i going to face everyone tomorrow?in fact i'd rather go back to school and have hee kiah to mock at me.damnit. i really dont understand why am making those stupid mistakes. i mean yes, ppl make mistakes all the time but i know i can usually perform better than that.sometimes i really think i should have quit sch.. left id.. and do something i want to do. relying on those stupid theory modules which very often helped mi in my grades aint helping now. yes. i do feel that i'm useless.fuck.i think my entire life is but a stupid mistake. ahhh..so shiok.i heart chocolates!i just finished a BLOCK of milk chocolate.but i'm on diet :Sapparently not a very strict diet.oh welll...anyway weekends have been reallly fun-filled. first it was the mosaic music festival. i only managed to catch the last few performances but they were such a BLAST! damn. now i'm loving samba~ heh.just went to catch fashion shows yesterday with jes. well.. i wouldn't say it was really really an eye-opener but yes i enjoyed it. each show lasted for only less than half an hour. well.. just showcasing their clothes u'd find in their shops and nothing much. btw, saw a really cute male model!! like whoahhh~~~ hah. while the rest of the male models were quite a disappointment lah. nevermind that they dont look as gorgeous but one of them can't even walk upright loh!! hunchback! -.-right. sadly i nv take alot of pictures lah. even if i did, u'd realise i nv post them up coz i'm just too lazy. until i've got myself a compact digital cam, dont expect too much pics la hor..next weekend, i'm going to a photography exhibition and the ten touch points design thingy.ahhh!! so exciting hor!!!???lol.tat explains y i hate my weekdays so much.INTERNSHIP KILLS!!!!i hate it!! i dont know why but i think i keep screwing up things which is just so maddening lah!!!and it's making mi obsessively compulsive. but it doesnt help in anyway coz i still screw up all the same. -.-it was like a culture shock. and i'm getting overtly paranoid abt it esp when i know i die die can't score lower than a B for IAP (well..actually i can la. but the point is i cant afford to fail iap. if i were to fail iap, i might as well quit school now, rite?).i seriously have a reason to believe i have OCD. -.- ahh.. it's been a lonnnggg time.well. nt that i didnt blog lah. gt entries which i saved liao then nv continue so they remain as drafts in the inbox. ha.anyways.. the goddess is so becoming broke now.pocket money has been halved!!!tmd. start internship means gt money lah!!?? :(btw, i'm interning at a small design consultancy firm as a designer lah. but no.. i'm nt featured in some design magazine yet. lol..so why do i say that i'm broke eh?here's a list of stuffs to save up for:- compact camera. bro has like 3 or 4 SLRs, and a chunky digital SLR cam. but i really want something simpler and more convenient. a compact cam would do just fine :)-lan card. i decided to drop the router option. yeah i know.. lan card is quite cheap but bear in mind that i havn't got my pay yet hor!!-taiwan trip. this time.. i'm really going to HOLIDAY there k. i'm nt sure who would be going with mi but if all else fails, i might really go alone =x but hopefully not lah hor...btw, had my holidays been in june, the goddess could have her vacation IN CALIFORNIA FOR A BLOODY MONTH!!!! and no, i wasnt dreaming. mom gave her consent already saying that i could, oh yes i could, spent a month vacation in CALIFORNIA *grin*but sian lah.. my holiday's in august which i'd have to opt for taiwan instead. mom says i could go over to california next year tho.on another note, ramesh's going back to melbourne in feb next year. a few of us might be going over to visit him next year after we graduated =x-iPhone. i know it wont be out in Singapore until 2008 but still i decided to start saving up early. hope that works tho. but nt getting it immediately lah.. nid to wait for ppl to review and evaluate it first. ha.but if i can't get the iPhone. lo and behold... i might be getting a benq siemens.now before u shoot mi that ARE-YOU-OUT-OF-YOUR-MIND unbelievable look.. c'mon. they're improving mah.. giv ppl a chance lah, tio bo?now, take a look at their baby.SWEET!!it's their BLACKBOX concept phone. yes.. a concept phone. might nv see the light of day(actually i dunno lah. it's nt in singapore either) but still i lust to carry it in my hands. ha. such a sexy little thing(now i'm inspired to come up with a 'sexy gadges top 10' lol. not now tho.). but i havn't read a single decent review on this so i might just hold back a lil till then.my shopping list sounds very exciting hor?? lol.but no money!!!! -.-if u guys noticed, i'm getting more and more into tech stuffs. lol. too much of 'T3' and 'Stuff' hardware magazine i guess.psst, bro gave mi a pair of sennheiser earphones!! he's so good lah!!!he got mi a CX-300. and u really can't hear anything else except the music!it blocks out like 30% of ambient noise and has a power bass-driven stereo sound.it's hundred over bucks. and he just gave it to mi out of the blue! actually i think he got it free lah.. but still, i appreciate that. :) there's so many things i didnt do this chinese new year in retrospect.well. i'd usually reach m'sia on chinese new year eve to have steamboat dinner with my gramps and some other relatives. so we'll crap along while eating with a bit of wine to go..and then.. FIREWORKS!!!my dad can spend like rm100 on a box of firecrackers lah. damn ex one can!! but nevertheless it is also damn fun! ^^ there'll be a variety of them, loud one, soft one, big one, small one, colorful one, can fly one, etc.. and they're just so beautiful!! but damn noisy lah coz the entire neighborhood is playing with it.but.. this year, well we had steamboat dinner and we talked alot but i didn't get to play with firecrackers lah. tho my uncle lit 3 red bamboo firecrackers -.- u know those long long red red ones which is not only visually unappealing but also DAMN LOUD? i hate that kind.but anyway.. the FEEL is there lah. lol.well, i just got home this evening from m'sia. =S so weird to spend the first night of chinese new year at home lah -.- i'd usually be playing mahjong with my relatives now, if not we'd be drinking =x or watching some vcd with my cousins. or if not just chatting and stuffing myself silly with all kinds of new year goodies..and I WAN BAK KWA!!!arrghhh.. i hate spending chinese new year at home (coz there's not bak kwa) -.-.. and there's so many of my relatives whom i havn't seen yet!!! so much catching up to do.. and i havn't really gambled *pout* hands getting itchy. tsk.but nvm, my uncle's getting married on april's fool day. heh. no kidding. and his wife is like one year younger than mi!!?? and they got engaged last year -.- *slaps forehead* i feel so left on the shelf.. :(oh btw. mom's away in taiwan this chinese new year. and i had to give out angbaos in place of her -.- gee.. and i feel really old can. some of them even thought i was getting married or something *roll eyes*. but imagine giving up red packets to small kids and they just look up to you with innocent looking face and says 'happy new year' *squeal* so CUTE!! but at the same time i really feel like some auntie giving out angbows to the young ones lah. tmd.oooh.chinese new year..bak kwa..steamboat..catching up with relatives..angbows..firecrackers..mahjong...gambling..chinese new year@m'sia rocks :) damn. need to start dieting again.been going out having supper with princess and robin -.- in fact i had a bowl of ba chor mee at 12 midnight, reached home at 1 and i fell asleep. tat's probably about 5000 calories.. yucks. right. i'm supposed to be in school NOW preparing portfolio with zuan -.- deadline's on friday and i have tons to do lah!whatever lah.anyways. introducing... NABAZTAG!this little kiddie is way too cute and look wat tricks it does here!damn. if only i could do this and submit this for studio project. ha.i wanna adopt a rabbit too >.[edit] right, year 3 studio project - NABEITAG when sean's taking my class for studio project for year 1, he actually wanted us to take part in this international competition.at then i actually posted this up and even THOUGHT of giving it a try. lol.overestimating myself eh?anyway, the long-awaited results are out here.while i didn't really look through all their works one by one but there's one i really like.'Time passes by without anyone's help or support. This is a calendar that enables you to spontaneously confront time through a simple action. At the beginning of the day, open up a window in the calendar. This is what I call a dialogue with time. This small action may be something exciting and joyful for one, while it could result in anxiety for another. Repeating this one simple action (the dialogue between your mind and time) daily, the calendar transforms into one design, and therefore makes you feel and realize the time that has already passed.'tho it only won an honorable mention in the competition (and in my blog, lol), i actually prefer this to the work that won the Grand Prix.and why, i hear you say.while the calendar might not seem to be a really impressive design to most people (i mean, most would think calendar is just a calendar no matter how meaningful it meant to be) i really admire this kind of design that actually makes the user 'think'.some design that triggers some cognitive process within.some really intelligent design in a (probably very subtle) way.i'm not some techie geek (tho i do update myself with the latest tech stuffs sometimes), not even someone who's into high technology stuffs. while technology can always amuse us with some cutting edge abilities, to me they are just but another technology or electronic unit that can serve us better probably at a cost of damaging our health (like all kinds of radio waves that can affect our health) or the environment. *shrug* some technology are nt even necessary.i really like design for a simple things like the above which not only triggers the user to really 'think', it also inherently impart good values which in this case would be for the user to use time wisely.in a way i think it actually serves the user better than some gadget that helps the user to plan their time wisely.so yeah.. just simple things will do.right, i'm pretty backward sometimes i know -.-anyways.here's another good concept. it won the silver prize.'Research shows making energy consumption visible can reduce the usage by up to 20 percent. People use a time clock to know how long they take to complete a job, this can help to inspirit people to complete the job with less time next time. The idea is shifting the experience of time saving to water saving, iSAVE help people to save water consumption by revealing the amount of water they are consuming. iSAVE is ideally adopted at communal bathrooms, such as in hotels, airports and malls, etc. iSAVE has two sorts, one is integrated into water faucet, the other is a accessory meter for a shower system or the faucet. The display numbers on iSAVE change in terms of water flux, the water flows faster, the numbers increase faster. The numbers are cleared automatically after the water stops flowing. Blue light is selected for the figures of moderate usage; Red light is selected for overuse usage.'some product with the i- suffix again. ha.but nevermind, the name is not an issue lah.but just thought that maybe a better representation for conveying the message to the user. while i'm in no position to comment.. i really thought.. well, just maybe the representation of information could be better. =Sand it is again, *wink* low technology but constructive design - helps to save water. =)alrite. that's about all for today's design bites. lol.gotta scoot off to prepare my portfolio, ciao~ just had supper with the my very small clique - veron and robin, at freaking 1am. i had 2 pratas loh!!! damn. and seriously, i'm not going to bed anytime soon.anyway, it was nice seeing them after such a LOOOONNNGGG while. just when i felt pretty empty without anything to occupy myself with. =) it seems that my life is back on track with everyone, as in i can finally go party and hang out with friends AT EASE, yay~!!i've pretty much planned my holiday - might be out with veron on tues, out with shuzheng on wed, out with robin on friday and finally party night with the clique and other friends on 21st. well. to add on, going to plan a reunion dinner with secondary school clique soon^^oh, not to forget i have my portfolio due on friday. gotta start cracking!a (long) while ago, i dug out some of my sketches for visual comm projects and heh, look wat amusing finds i have!!and the ultimate page of notes below..if u take a closer look, tat's supposed to be some notes for M&M class, we were going through some tutorials at that time if i've nt mistaken.heh. now u get wat have i been doing in class eh?right. more updates coming up this holiday, stay tuned! Phew~!just done with ALL the school projects i have in year 2. WOOHOO~!!!but hang on, i'm only done with SCHOOL projects you see.. portfolio(it's actually not part of our curriculum so i wouldn't consider that as a school project since it wont be graded) is due next friday so i gotta chiong sketches and rhino rendering. hopefully to come up with good graphics and layout like jim's one. ha.Macdonald's murals will be due after Chinese new year, near end of feb i heard and we still have hell lots to do! so basically i'll have to recover quickly from the festive mood after the 2 days cny hoilday :(portfolio dues just before eve of cny.mac murals due after cny.and there goes my cny :( and i havn't bought a single thing for cny *cries*!!!but then again, i'm still thankful that all school projects are over and done with. but it seems so sudden lah. i was chionging projects for the past two weeks with a funny lecturer dropping a bomb ON SATURDAY NIGHT telling us that our project had to be submitted to the client for 'sneak preview' ON SUNDAY NOON. and we had to frantically rush everything overnight handing in the project 2 hours late -.-. anyways, it just seems too good to be true. suddenly we are all free.. and need not go to school for lessons anymore. JUST SO WEIRD CAN!!!and we were asking 'eh, wat are u going to do tml ah? i got nothing to do leh. so weird.'for the past 2 weeks i was all into my projects and now, i'm just so lost lah. like a bullet train chionging from one station to another and suddenly everything comes to a halt. travellin from 200km/hr and suddenly it's now 40km/hr. =Sin all, i think i've done a quite a good job. i think. i mean.. considering that i'm rather weak, i think. my visual comm received good feedbacks and studio project didnt turn out as bad as i expected (no major probs).. ya, i guess my past semester has been PREEEETY good lah. only my ndp project has been rather disappointing when i started with quite a refreshing concept but it ended quite badly coz i just didnt want to do that project =xha. okie lah. honestly i'm really glad that my visual comm turned out quite good despite last min work, illustrator hanging on me, files getting lots and little accidents here and there(actually i regret for spending too much time on studio that i seem to neglect visual comm). seems that the slight depression i has for the past weeks had been worthy =xwell, i guess it was a mild depression lah since it was short-lived =x there were so much tears for the past 2 weeks. at then, i didnt tell anyone but i had been crying and crying. in the shower, in the middle of and night and even in school where nobody saw. yeah *roll eyes* call mi a weakling or a crybaby if u must, but frankly, i cry rather easily. and i almost couldn't keep my cool when a usually irritating person irritated me! well, i'd usually just ignore that person and never let myself be bothered with that person but i truly nv thot that he could actually agitate me then. and i just didnt know what really upsets mi. i all, i'd completed my stuff on time and didnt receive very harsh feedbacks(in comparison with my classmates, i consider my feedbacks not too bad).. u know, my tears really puzzle mi.oh well. tat was in the past. i ought to be stronger for my year 3 to come =).btw, jes did a really good job with her graphics work too^^. congrats! the past week has been rather torturous. been feeling really lousy for the past few days and i almost couldn't keep my calm in class today. and i had to save the ugly sight for the ladies.. :(something is so wrong with me.. just a quick update before i scoot off to do pboards.anyway.. it's only tuesday. 3 more days of hell to go.thank god mr teo allowed us to bring 2 sets of our notes in for M&M test today, it helped a good deal. visual comm submission is postponed on next tues but i still have to produce a visual mockup on thursday.arrghh.. three tests and three deadlines this week and i only have 5 days per week. studio project model submission had been a great disappointment. everyone was exhausted , angry and helpless at the same time. just when we were all glad that we all made it every morsel of pride and satisfaction we have for our project has shredded by our lecturers leaving only an empty shell in its wake. there was a misunderstanding in class that we didn't do mockups or tried to 'use' our product before proceeding on to our models. well, the question for the class wasn't phrased clearly. in fact, a few of us did watever was told but had no idea how does it even help at all. anyway, it was no easy feat coming up with a model in 4 days when everybody thought submission is on 5th feb. -.-however, we're not done with the project yet, we still have pboards to do. and the only motivation i have to do the pboards is not because my project has been fantastic and i take pride in it.. but just simply..to pass the module.that's how bad it is.anyway, hope my visual comm, report and the remaining tests to go turn out good.i'm one step closer getting out of that place. this is crazy.i'm actually bloggin when..on Monday-design journal and studio project model dueTuesday-M&M test-visual comm self promo piece dueWednesday-Comms skills test-Pboards dueFriday-khairul's report duessomebody gotta inject some sense of urgency in me!!! =S but honestly, i really have little motivation to work with.i've been thinking of leaving that place.. somewhere without this pain. so much that it seems i'm beginning to abandon my projects. my grades have been rather good considering how badly my studio projects screwed up, i owe it to my theory papers. i cringe at the thought of promoting to the final year where my only module would be - studio project >.being bound to a three year bond in singapore, i've been contemplating alot since (dunno when). what am i going to do with it? or do i further my studies overseas (i've been looking at this particular degree in this particular university in this particular country which i guess my friends would be shocked to hear. :S nobody knows about it yet).anyways. let nature takes its course i guess.btw, this is freaky.You are the Hanged ManSelf-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear ofloss from a situation, rather than gain.The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes. The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.What Tarot Card are You?Take the Test to Find Out.but the second time i do this test with different but nevertheless honest answers, it turned out to be a more uplifting card. ha. but i guess the first attempt at such test is always the most accurate one. Eight of Cups. this is what i am now..ACTIONS seeking deeper meaning focusing on personal truthleaving the rat racelooking for answersconcentrating on what is importantstarting on a journey of discoveryfinding out the factsdevoting more time to the spiritual moving on realizing the current cycle is overabandoning a hopeless situationdisentangling yourselfstarting on a trip of unknown lengthletting gofinishing up and walking away growing weary feeling drained by demandsdragging through the dayfeeling tired and listlesslacking energylosing hopegetting weighed down by worriesbecoming burned out OPPOSING CARDS: Some Possibilities Strength - endurance, strength Sun - vitality, high energy Nine of Wands - hanging on, persevering REINFORCING CARDS: Some Possibilities Hermit - searching for deeper meaning Death - moving on, leaving Three of Wands - going on a trip, going into new territory Eight of Wands - finishing up, ending a chapter Six of Swords - moving on, going on a trip DESCRIPTION A psychologist friend once told me that when a group is ready to break up, the members give off subtle signs to that effect. They display a certain restlessness. They arrive late to meetings, communicate less and seem distracted. At some level the participants know it is time to move on, but they need a while to work up to that final step. This process applies in many situations where an ending is approaching. Nothing is permanent in life. Sooner or later, everything slips away...or we slip away from it. The Eight of Cups stands for those moments when we realize, once and for all, that the past is gone. What was true is no longer true. The signs of change are in our face, and we must accept them. It is time to move on. Moving on can mean a physical change such as leaving a job, location or relationship. It can also mean an inner change - releasing old patterns, especially those that have dominated our thoughts and emotions. On the Eight of Cups, we see a man leaving on a journey. He has turned away from his old feelings (cups/river) to strike out on a new path. Sometimes moving on can mean searching for a deeper truth or reality. One day we wake up and realize that we have been asleep in our own lives - living a dream that no longer satisfies. Some changes can be wearying. Endings are not always easy. One of the signs of a readiness to leave is lack of energy. When you feel tired and dispirited, you know that something is wrong, and it's time for a new direction. Reexamine your life and your priorities. You will find where in your life you need to move on.*********************************just found this while doing a bit of research on tarot cards. heh, how intriguing. yuzzie is DEAD.school's taking its toll on me. sigh. yes, i'm complaining about school, AGAIN!i thought about the times i had in fajar secondary school, then in PJC, then NYP and how much i've changed with the change of environment and came to a conclusion - i'm much gloomier in class now in NYP. well, even shaz sensed that i'm so much less talkative after year 2 semester break.all part and parcel of growing up i guess. being independent, truckloads of projects （and my friends all complaining about my school and workload because i can't fork out enough time to go out with them :( ) , struggling to do it well in a highly competitive pressure cooker class but failing to do so and finally gain some insight in this whole dumb rat race.. :S despite all that.. whatever it is.. i've pulled it through for 2 looooonnngg yearsand i'm glad i did.but what's really bugging me now is that whatever i'm doing now is NOT what i wan to do!yeah, most would bring up how thrilled i was when i was enrolled in this design course 2 years ago *roll eyes* but yea, little yuzzie is now 18 (wahahahhaha!!!!), and she knows what she wants finally.well, i guess it could be the chain reaction from the camp in taiwan that is taking effect on me. and what ms tan, our graphic design/visual comm lecturer told us few days ago rectified the fact that I WANT TO LEAVE.alright, maybe not.but you see i'm not cut out for this and and i dont like it. i've been given stupid projects that require us to design something that does not necessarily be useful but has to give pleasure (and not sex toys please). we glamourise products and make people consume. branding and advertising. things that are nt essential but we spend thousands on it so that people can spend billions to buy it. what's more, i have to work with toxic materials for model making. IMAGINE HOW MUCH DUST I HAVE IN MY LUNGS!!??call me a slacker (in fact i'm very much a slacker), call me a stuck-up or whatsoever but sometimes these projects that are given to us doesnt seem right or even ethical to me.yes, i've been largely influenced by spiritual learning(like what really gives meaning to life) and ms tan's sustainable and ethical design concepts. okie lah, i'm not some saint but i do want to contribute something.. ya know, looking at what the world is coming to.. jes and i were talking about how rotten some kids can be nowadays. =Smost would say a career ultimately boils down to passion but frankly, i neither like nor dislike it.okie lah.from the way i put it.. no passion lah -.-but then again.. i dont know wat i want to do really. i dont know what kind of job really satisfies or what am i really good at.just..confused.************end of rant************* yo~ for some reason i decided to continue blogging..anyway, xmas/birthday got better as the days breezed.. the celebrations just went on consecutively for days!on christmas eve, there were just choon tong, mei ying (my cousin) and me! kinda pathetic. the others were all busy with their own celebrations, besides i didn't want to celebrate my 18th b'day in some night club =) anyway, tat birdie should have told me he's free or i'll ask him out *pout*and on christmas day itself which is also ur holiness's holy day of holy birth, i had lunch with mei ying and princess veron. it was good tho we stuffed ourselves silly and the bill turned out to be much cheaper than i thot! heh. then we kinda shopped around and i almost bought paulo coelho's new book, like AHHH!!! 20% OFF LAH!!! but just thot that might as well save it since i have a few more celebrations to go and that means more money spent -.- anyway, that night i kinda sent meiying off and headed down to robin's place for a supposedly mahjong session and it turned out to be a SURPRISE party! heh. thanks a lot, people. it was good fun tho huiwen was kinda bored. but she brought along a guy whom she knew no more than a week -.- and they were kinda.. intimate i'd say..hmmm. only after a some sort interrogation did she confess that she's just trying to forget about a guy she likes in school. silly girl. gonna talk to her some day.. oh, btw tat guy's Leo. =sand so on 26th it was raining pretty hard :S wanted to skip my class bbq and just snuggle in my comfy bed.. hee. but apparently the peeps kinda prepared a celebration for me and i had no choice but to go.. but it turned out pretty good only for the celebration part. ha. later in the night when the guys kinda forced mi to toast them.. erm.. ya, i kinda puked again thereafter. *chuckles embarrassedly*anyways.and on the 27th, went to HavoC@HillingtoN. lol. it's actually a party at hong kiat's place. he stays at hillington green and thus the name. the guys had fun playing games and jumping onto each other. it was fun hanging out with them.. havn't seen some of them for ages. ha. planned to party at mos thereafter until we broke the news that yu xin (some girl who terrorized them back in secondary school) would be there, they decided to opt for kbox at lot 1 instead. lol. it was funny wat yuxin can do even after we havn't met for so long. i'm fine with her and we used to be really close friends but sometimes she just kinda freaks ppl out with her "enthusiasm". =Sit was shenglian's virgin trip and i bet for many others too. lol. they just didnt know how to use the controls and were clueless abt the chinese songs there. but it was still a hell lot of fun tho. and shenglian just can't sing. -.- and he can't smile naturally in front of a camera too. BUT he has close resemblance to my eye candy. -.- damn.and last night on 28th. i received a handmade birthday cake!! it was the sweetest gift ever!!! and surprise surprise, a boy baked it. and he's good i tell ya, will post the pic up some day (i gotta rush over to school, NOW and so i'm kinda rushing thru this post already) and yes, it looks like any decent cake u'd find at a cake shop. then he sang mi a birthday song, got me to cut the cake and we played sparklers!! ha. but the night was short. i was only out for an hour or so and dad was already hopping mad and commanded me to get back. kinda infuriating tho...*humph*dad as been acting weirdly recently. :S anyway, gotta run.. shaz's waiting for me in school!!! cya! is it possible for me to backup my archive files from blogger to another blog service provider? well, i've kinda started a new blog using another service so i'd like to shift my archives there. and that new blog isnt really established yet so just gonna keep it under wraps for the moment. but i'm pretty sure some of my friends would find their way there somehow -.-anyways.not that i dun like using blogger anymore tho the beta thingy is pretty annoying but.. just feel like switching to another service lah.. it's like ppl get sick of singtel sometimes and would switch to starhub or M1 service provider just for the sake of changing and the perks. it's the same theory :)and so, not much to blog about now. i'm tired and nt quite in the mood to do anything yet. i guess it's about the time of the month ;) lol.alrite. gotta go, ciao~ i can't believe i actually have time to shop online -.- see how GOOD i can manage my time!?i'm reverting back to the hectic days down the slippery slope where i get busier and busier. at the end of the day.. it seems that nothing has been done, really. i have.. 7, or 8.. projects going on at the same time, all progressing like a bullet train, all demanding my attention. sigh. just when i thot things could change for the better, prospects of this sem seem pretty bleak now - i have less time for play!and all my fridays are booked for religious class..mondays are booked for debates trainings, tho i dun really attend their trainings regularly i do still feel obliged to go afterall. but in times of need, like when i nid to work on projects, i'll ditch tthe training..sundays are booked to do projects whether or not i meet up with the usual gang and work in the library. sunday = homework day. might arrange to work in the night safari tho..and now.. i'm looking into slotting a yoga class on tues, thurs or sat. -.-oh, and i have meet up friends from religious class every few weekends for a gathering..and if things go well. i'll start slotting work in my schedule after i'm through with my.. very much dreaded vertical marathon (gosh.. at the rate i'm training now..=X).gotta discipline myself real hard!****************************************************************went to do work at the national library (again!) today.. and i was telling zuan over lunch to get over a girl he has been emo-ing abt for... the past 2 weeks =xwell, it's really upsetting to see a friend wallowing in pain like THAT. haiyo.. might as well put his time into something else that will make him happier instead right!? things like buying pretty yuzzie lunch or something. -.-then it dawned on mi that, hey, maybe i should learn to let go too.. nt like i expect something in return when i give, but i dun see myself getting happier. i dun feel appreciated at all.. and now having a burden off mi, i feel much lighter.. and i'm in control of myself =) not that feelings can be manipulated but at least by taking another approach, i feel much better..btw have i told u abt how i can actually give things up easily....? like how i can give up shopping (if i really have to, i wont shop), i can give up watching the last episode of a drama series and still feel good abt it.. i may have movies i'd love to watch but if the situation doesnt allow, i'm really okie with it, as in, i wont feel bitter abt it..but when i can, i'd still procrastinate lah.. lol.there's a phrase which my mom taught mi.. and i'm sure jia ying hasn't forgotten..it's good to have but it's okie that we do not.a little trick i'd use to curb my urge to possess.. like i'll just look at a pair of gorgoeous shoes which i'd die for, tell myself it's good to have it.. but it's really okie that i do now. and i smile and walk away..btw i'm reading a book regarding consumerism in the states now.. so i'm kinda inspired nt to shop as frequent already lah.. besides, impulse buys really chalk up into quite a heap in my wardrobe. =/anyway, getting late~signing off here~~ wahh.. i'm becoming a watch guru. i did a project on some freaking high-end watches in year 1 for graphics design.. and now, i'm doing some technology watches for mike gan's module -.-but at least these watches look more interesting to mi.aye.. sometimes u'd look at these cool stuffs and wonder how designers make them happen. heh.presenting o.d.m. dd101 in hot PINK!!!how nice ^^ oh btw, odm has a pretty cool site too.this is even better..*grin*'The Watchband, is an instrument of time that conveys its information adapting the Braille format. Made from a thin silicon tube, the metal watch mechanism fits beneath this thin layer of skin, which then allows the Braille to be easily sensed, therefore ‘read’. Each Braille bubble is pushed up towards the surface of the skin by a miniature piezo actuator. The chosen size and font type of the numbers are conveyed through the Braille dot pattern.'and here's tokyoflash showcasing some really interesting japanese designed watches. how cool is that!?now, if u think ur laptop is old and disintegrating.. check out this new revolutionary laptop. cool design eh?this Steampunk Laptop with a manual typewriter keyboard, Morse key over the trackpad, and stylish wooden case. And it actually works!! lol. whee~ back from tioman. ^^sigh, just came back from holiday and urs truly has already sunk into a mild depression...okie lah, sch's starting this coming monday and i'm really experiencing the blues. =(slept for a while after i got home..didnt eat much..didnt have the appetite anyway.just bummed around at home the entire day..too lazy to even get out..packed my room a little coz buyers are coming over to view the apartment.. btw, we're moving, shall talk about this some other day..jialat..see how much i hate school?arrghhh.. btw almost spent all my pay away on shopping b4 going off to tioman.. nid to start saving all over again =x yay~ more pictures! took these back in taiwan with bro's camera.. and finally...my personal favourite *wink*anyway.. nice flowers and all.. but most importantly, these are actually works of yours truly!!! I BLOODY TOOK THESE PICTURES!! aint i super super!? bro taught mi to use his digital SLR, so these are considered pretty good for a first timer loh..=Denjoy~ since i was uploading some pictures from phone.. might as well share some more pics with u guys hor.. SHARING IS CARING =)and this.. is something i did last week. or 2 weeks before-.- can't remember lah.. i was bored so i tried my hands on book binding.hee.. workmanship is.. erm.. passable lah. i kinda cut corners.. so it's nt done in a proper way =x it's just an empty A5 size journal made out of photocopy paper lahh.. nothing special really. but mann.. i lurve the cover!! like some girl dancing under the disco lights..the girl on the cover is cut out from some postcard with the background a flyer of some.. events =S dunno lah. anyway i have alot of such rubbish at home.. just cut and paste and u get nice combinations!that's min min and me!! ha. took this during our night cycling trip.that's me.. =) the brasil jersey is a gift from my kor.. with my nickname on it! i love my kor lots. *muack*that's me and my lao gong fron bj! yeahh. aint i super?! gt so many flings at bj!!! *giggles*that's dewei and yaohuang di di inside the picture.. while the others are all dead beat, they didnt join us in cam-whoring.. :(hmm.. didn't take alot of pics during the chalet.. too bad then.signing off~ ahh.. back to update. kinda tiring tho.. been feeling lazy this week..anyway i've checked my results after a week's delay........i actually scored more Cs than As and Bs. in fact i think i have 5 Cs -.- but.. *ahem* surprisingly gpa still *ahem* remained *ahem* at *ahem* 3 *ahem*. and fyi, the modules which i scored As had little to do with design.anywaysit certainly rectified the thot of quitting the my current course - industrial design.i have no idea whether these grades really reflect my capability in the field of design or rather, my future in this field of discipline which i'd say seems rather bleak at the moment.nevermind that my peers are spending a 3 figure sum of money on their project to earn credits..nevermind my lecturers (i think i could just name a one or two who might already have a personal vendetta against me) just hate me..nevermind nothing seems to be fair in school..nevermind that i did well in a few of my projects..nevermind if my lecturers dont appreciate it..i just think i'm nt cut out for it.for now, all that i can possibly hope for is to maintain gpa, get my diploma, get out of nyp, get out of design.awww.. i'm so nt looking forward to school.btw gotta really thank willy for trying to cheer mi up each time. =) ha.. guess i was a hard nut to crack..******************************************upsetting issues aside, yesterday's outing was pretty much a success. ha. so proud of myself..*beaming in pride*!!!it was our virgin trip to ubin for a few of us and we kept taking pictures!! lol. erm.. most pictures are with the others but here's wat i have with me. could just visit robin's blog to view more pics ;) we actually went to pray at various temples on the island.. our prayers kinda worked later in the day. ha. tat's according to jeslin..yay.. cycling.. pictures.. and praying. lol. ohh.. and gambling =x lost money tho. i'm a bad gambler... hehethen after much persuasion.. i agreed to *ahem* club *ahem* with some of them coz ed gt some invites to velvet underground at zouk *ahem*.i was rushing like mad to get there lah.. damn. take cab here and there.. such a waste of my money -.- tsk. and i didnt have time to dress up nor make-up!!! BOO! :(and only when we were already queueing up to get in did they know that i'm actually under 18!! lol. there was a bit of confusion then we still decided to go ahead with it. dang.. and my acting sucks lahh.. and i actually used jeslin's ez-link card to get in -.- but yay, i still gt thru. =)erm.. well, the velvet underground is.. well, nt like some typical club i know. it's more like a pub for people to chill and relax. erm. well, even for a newb like me, it seems to be pretty boring. and yeah.. the guys were bored as well -.- it was a virgin trip to velvet underground.. so nobody actually knew it was like THAT inside.. quite a pity for my first time..arghh.. after much negotiation, i think ed's friends kinda split up.. and yeah, we went to k-ster at chinatown. -.- SIGHHHH... but nevermind lah. good company anyway, besides, they made it ladies' night by paying for jes and me! oh, and somebody paid for my cab fare home too^^ (but feeling kinda guilty lahh.. guess i'm gonna pay that guy back =s) erm ya.. didnt turn up that bad after all tho.. tho first trip to zouk was pretty disappointing. and oh, btw the guy whom i shared a cab with said i had heavy accent -.- so me, being so freaked out was like "HUH!? wat accent? gt accent meh?""yeahh.. accent of a frequent english speaker.. jiat kantang one.." he said that in chinese. ha.. but no lah!!! i'm actually very cheena too k..anyway, second time hanging out with ed's friends and that really makes mi wonder wat kinda lives they lead. ha. i mean his friends are like.. poles apart from the people i know around me. not saying i have small social circle but it seems that friends whom i hang around with are.. more or less of the same frequency as me. but no offence, from MY POINT OF VIEW, erm.. am kinda intrigued with their lives lahh. coz they always seem to be out and about having fun all the time, like always very HAPPENING.. not saying they chiong all the time.. but hmm.. they're like a bunch of people who enjoys each moment and do not think about the next. erm.. i'm trying hard nt to be crude but hope u get wat i mean.then i realised.. i seem to be missing the child in me! *gasp* i almost forgot how to enjoy myself! *bigger gasp* sigh.btw something to note, someone was an utter disappointment. i'm beginning to lose faith.. "A main area of the Dalai Lama's teachings is about how to train the mind in order create happiness, not suffering. Each of us sees the world from our own viewpoint, according to all the things we have experienced and been taught in the past. However, the world is not as it appears. For example, science confirms that things which are solid are actually made up of atoms and electrons, which can be broken down into smaller and smaller components, until no matter can be found to exist – just pure energy.Thoughts and emotions are far less substantial. We each have our individual version of reality, and even that changes from moment to moment, day to day, year to year. Out of our inaccurate world view we develop our own particular collection of mental and emotional habits, and out of those habitual ways of thinking and feeling flow our actions. For every action there is a reaction, and that reaction will seed another result. This is the universal law of cause and effect, which is infallible. We cannot escape it.When we create positive thoughts, words, and actions, we are planting seeds for positive results, and we create the causes and conditions for happiness. When we engage in negative thoughts, words, and actions, actions which harm ourselves or others, we are creating suffering and the seeds of future suffering. Here is where unknown factors come in.If we were only dealing with this lifetime, we would be pretty aware of what we had created in the past. Now if you don't believe in past lifetimes, I ask you to keep an open mind here, because this is an important part in understanding these teachings. What the Dalai Lama teaches is a way of training the mind to so that we can stop planting the seeds of suffering by acting according to our negative habits – attachment, aversion, jealousy, anger, etc.We engage in endless activity in order to try to fulfill endless desires. When one desire is satisfied, up pops another. We stress out trying to prevent what we don't want – yet, being human, it is inevitable that changes, sickness, old age and death will occur. We exhaust ourselves trying to fulfill our desires and prevent unwanted occurrences, when the deep happiness and peace we seek is within ourselves.People can commit murders, steal, cheat, rape, and hurt others in order to gain for themselves because they believe in a limited existence – this lifetime only. They believe if they get away with it in this lifetime, they are getting away with it for as long as they exist, which is until they die. If people believed that "what goes around comes around," if not in this life then in the next lifetime, they would realize that every negative action committed is the seed for one's own suffering, in the near or farther future.Because people believe in a limited existence they think they can intentionally harm others. And due to negative habitual thoughts and emotions, such as anger and hatred which are out of control in a mind that hasn't learned discipline, ethics and the law of cause and effect, people unintentionally cause suffering for themselves and others. ” - http://www.theconversation.org/dlama.htmljust wanna share this with u guys.. dun think i'm nuts or something, just gt spurred on when i read yoyo's msn space. and this guy whom i met in taiwan is really no average 17 year old high school student.. mann.. i could stake all my riches (nt much tho) and my life that this guy's gonna be a monk soon. and this guy's freaking younger than mi loh!!! mann. i feel so ashamed. not that i wanna be a nun or something but this guy is so much wiser and deep.. hmmm. omg, i just feel so DARN DARN DARN lazy these days... omg, i just feel so DARN DARN DARN lazy these days.. oh gosh. well, actually i thot i've slackened alot since i entered poly but only to get worse during hoildays..-.-i have truckloads of stuffs on my table, my room looks like some dog-raided garbage dump. my clothes are neither ironed nor folded and piled neatly in the closet. i even have clothes on my bed (they've been there for days already -.- and they're nt even MY clothes! gosh, gonna get rid of them!!!), on the chair, hanger.. -.- argghh..on top of that, i've loads of rubbish here, there, EVERYWHERE!!! i've gt some mini opera masks (which i bought for my project in year1) lying near my bed, my moodboards, my presentation boards.. styrofoam ball and cone.. a whole packet of wood dowels.. spray cans.. some leftover acrylic paint.. blocks of blue foam.. last week's newspapers.. my swimming goggles.. malfunctioned alarm clock..just almost anything lah -.-and urs truly is just too lazy to clear up the mess -.-yeah.. i might be working everyday.. working my ass off. but, even so, i've been getting more than 10 hrs of sleep everyday! :S gosh, i'm such a pig. and when i'm up.. i'm watching tv.. downloading songs.. and.. and.. eating *shots guilty look* and .. i'm off to work! courtesy of a BUMMER! -.-okie. going for chalet tonight. gotta go start packing up lerrhhh.. enough of complaints already!tata~ GET INSPIRED!!! aww.. just love the way they tur... GET INSPIRED!!!aww.. just love the way they turn their workspaces into a gallery. ha.btw, i ripped off these pictures from flickr, do check it out!^^ hey, i wan a bulletin board too!!SCRAPBOOK! isnt it lovely! how sweet~~~~ha, i guess it's a good idea to decorate your room while u have nothing to do..man.. i love the nostalgic feel.and check out all the collages! fantabulous *grin****************************************************btw, i've figured out my shopping list once i get my pay.ranked in importance:first and foremost, gotta pay up for tioman-mersing trip with ron's astro club - $250then i'm gonna cut, dye and highlight my hair.. =) still contemplating whether i should DIY my highlights since i'm pretty good at DIY colouring my own hair. ha. oh yeah.. then i gotta start pouring money into my hair again with stuffs like conditioners and such. budget - $80 (tat's more than enough already)erm.. go shopping *shots guilty look*. but.. i need to replenish my wardrobe! school's starting soon~^^ (16 oct to be exact) well, i nid a purse, i nid something to keep mi warm during lectures *cringe*.. erm, actually, i dunno what do i need or need not buy, i just wanna.. shop. heee...=D hey, but one thing's for sure, i'll make sure i'll buy something which i'd definitely wear ;)i know i wouldnt have enough after shopping for clothes.. like, what kind of shopping list is this -.- anyway, i wanna buy an mp3. =x my old one's beyond hope. and i'd nid a thumbdrive badly once i start school.consider this in the wishlist, i wanna buy a lomo =x i know nuts abt lomo.. but i'm pretty sure i'm gonna get one.. erm, itching to get a digicam tho :serm. right, will update once i thot of more to come.. lol. hey, aint i supposed to save up for taiwan's trip next year? 我全身都在腐烂 身体在腐烂 心灵在腐烂 腐烂的气息弥漫这空气 。。。 妈妈不禁破口大骂 ... 我全身都在腐烂身体在腐烂心灵在腐烂腐烂的气息弥漫这空气。。。妈妈不禁破口大骂“吃什么臭豆腐啊!!??”。。。没错， 老娘吃了臭豆腐而慢性的腐烂到今。。 have i told you that i simply love MOMMY'S BLOG!? ... have i told you that i simply love MOMMY'S BLOG!? i've been checking out karen's blog almost everyday and fall in love and wishing i have sons like that with her two sons each time i read about them.. and now, we have uber mommy!! and oh yes, i lurve her cuppies!^^right, pretty pointless entry here.. but yeah, i think i lurve kids *grin*oooh.. btw, i've been training up for my terry fox. *cross fingers* gonna train up stamina for 5km run in.. like.. erm.. 5days?wish mi luck! tata~ i guess curiousity is very deeply woven into my be... i guess curiousity is very deeply woven into my being. i always have a curiousity for everything, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. and i can sometimes be very kay-poh about stuffs.. whether it's intellectual or not. just talk to mi about lego for the entire afternoon and if it can keep mi going, i'll spend the next couple of days reading, researching and playing with lego. hell,i can just sit in front of my comp the entire day to search things out. hmm.. not very healthy tho.like yesterday, i've been surfing the web for DIY 'lymphatic drainage massage' thingy(for a moment i was mad about slimming down so i thot of removing water retention with massages).. found some other but very useful stuffs tho.. and in another moment, i'm all into yoga, reading about it and searching for cheapclasses to attend(nt signing up for any lessons for now.. gonna wait till i sort out my finance first)and just this entire afternoon, i've been searching for online shopping websites (found lotsa great stuffs actually. will eventually sort out my links and update those sites ;)) and in between i'm looking into advertising and graphical designs.. oh, i've also been looking for some DIY skincare recipes (got inspired by mom after she mixed some alcohol with aloe vera to treat the spots on my legs) too.^^it was like i was so hungry for information i stuck my eyes to the screen and keep searching for stuffs -.- from one to another, my fingers dont stop typing and clicking, literally. i bet my arse getting bigger from too much of sitting down =.=but.. i havn't really DONE anything for the day actually.. tangible stuffs. like cleaning up the house, practise my guzheng or finishing up my book.. or even learn to knit! btw, i gave up knitting when i picked it up for no more than 2 months. or maybe, i can learn to bake! ha.. highly impossible tho but hey, worth a thot mah.. =)btw, our charming mr robin sms-ed mi this afternoon to ask mi along for his astro trip to m'sia!!! hahah. THANKS ALOT BOY!! but it's 250 bucks tho, considering that i'm going over to MALAYSIA for 4 days, it's pretty steep. but i didnt want to miss the chance. ha. planning to pay for it with my coming pay (and now i appreciate my manager for forgetting to submit my punchcard to the accountants, ha. i get more money next month!)^^ and now my only worry is that, i'd feel out of place among those astro club ppl from NGEE ANN POLY, like wth, it's nt even my own school lah!! *blush* shy leh.and mom's telling mi nepal has a much spectacular view than m'sia. actually for a few occasions when i was back in msia i saw really breath-taking views of the stars.. gee. tat was back in primary school! anyway, no worries. i'll be in nepal one day *grin*btw, spoke to a canadian friend i knew in taiwan and we're already planning to go back to taiwan next year! ha. great man.. now where do i get the money from.. hmm...