Edith Piaf - Non je ne regrette rien SITE MOVEDBlogger Samurai has now moved to:bushidoblog.wordpress.com WHY THE SAMURAI BLOGGER MATTERSThis will possibly be one in a series of many.Don Diego de la Vega: Lesson number one: never attack in anger---From "The Mask of Zorro"In "The Mask of Zorro" Alejandro Murieta is a common bandit who has to assume the mantle of the great swordsman that fought for the people of Spanish California. The fact that that is the first lesson he learns amply displays how important that when you deal with an issue of contention, anger is the most destructive of emotions. In the Singapore blogosphere there are too many voices that seek to be heard in an environment of stifling, limited discourse. Many of these voices are scattered across the blogging wilderness, though they are many, the recent case of the Singapore blogosphere is that many of these voices have left, too tired to continue. Many other voices group with themselves, powered by rage and invective, and not reason, exulting in their own frothing at the mouth sense of self-righteousness too. There is much anger, yet forget not that anger is the wearer-out of bodies, the reducer of men, the small death. It is in such an environment that we need to look to practitioners of an ancient order of war, we need to look to the wisdom as expressed by warriors of bow and sword, if we too are to be effective warriors of word. It is for this purpose that I have adopted for this blog the title, Blogging Samurai. The samurai have lived centuries under different masters, some good, some bad, most of them hard men in hard times. They have honed a wisdom that was carried down from such ancient texts as the Art of War and brought through centuries of strife and war, and that shares much in common with the rest of that of martial men the world over. It is sad to say that in the Singapore political blogosphere, anger is one of the most definining traits. Blog after blog is filled with anger, one of the latest is Insane Polygons, which effectively lives up to its name in more than one way. Elite Girl probably epitomizes very often what is wrong with the state of satire in the blogosphere. The strip's latest downward turn is a perfect example of what is wrong with it. In this latest strip, he ironically rips off a movie based upon some of history's greatest warriors, the Spartans, and then hamhandedly stuffs it into the context of Singapore politics.One feels the anger coming from the strip all right, but what does it accomplish? When one witnesses the actions of Insanepoly, he is like a raving madman who just happens to say something that sounds true because it appears to conform to reality. Even if a raving madman speaks apparent truth, his word will not be taken as such, because of the fact that simply because the messenger kills the message.His strokes fail to be precise, his anger is all over the place, not directed at all. He has a motif that he fails to follow through, given that he starts off with a dig at the film "300" that also attempts to make a statement about the perceived undercompensation of NSMen disabled in the course of training, and turns it by the end into a tasteless idea of politics in Singapore as a Manichean struggle between good and evil. The thing is: the dualistic and Manichean approach works well when one is writing genre fiction in the manner of "300", but there is a reason why it is genre fiction. It is genre fiction because the aesthetic approach that one finds in "300" does not necessarily dictate a workable one to solving the problems that lie in reality. Reality has its own problems, politics is often made a struggle even if it is not necessarily one, but the struggle is not about good and evil and no flowery rhetoric about "freemen against a tyrant" will ever change that. As such, in adopting an aesthetic mode that has no correspondence in reality, he instead undercuts the purpose of satire, which is to mask the reality in order to reveal it.There has been no better piece of satire on class struggle ever written than that of "Animal Farm" by the immortal George Orwell. There is a reason why that book is top-rate satire, and this isn't. "Animal Farm" is not just a sophisticated allegory of Soviet history, unlike what some bastardized, CIA-funded cartoon films might have you think, but in fact an insightful view into human nature as well. In it, the pigs that lead the revolution against Farmer Jones soon come to exploit and mistreat the other animals in the same way that the farmers did. Yet at no time ever, does the book appear to reduce the humanity of the farmers at all, in fact, what the book shows is why those in power do what they do to keep it: the fear of loss, and the attraction of gain. And it does so in the most beautifully subtle manner. And the reason why he can do it is because he is not angry. As such, he can make and present a clear-eyed analysis of the situation.The tone of Orwell is never angry, his language brief and concise. He shows what happens rather than makes judgements about it. This is because he sees the nature of the problem, and not the appearance of the problem itself. The autocratic system that the pigs perpetuate and in a sense inherit from Farmer Jones, perpetuates the same traits in Farmer Jones that it does in them because they now get the same boons and perks that Jones did. Beds, apples and milk, human clothes and magazines and literacy etc.. Without checks, balances or an informed citizenry (the animals of the farm sadly deserve what they get, since they are mostly shown as a group of the jaded, the vain, the uneducated, the unthinking.) Animal Farm collapses into the same old order that once was again. Even Jones was never portrayed as a perpetually bad master, just that his personal problems (alcoholism) destroyed his ability to run the farm properly. Imagine, what an insight that is! In Jones' autocratic, person-driven system of running the farm, the problem of alcoholism causes the entire order to collapse! One man's problem becomes that of a whole group of people. If that isn't the most beautiful, clear-eyed analysis of what happens in personality-driven political systems, I have yet to read anything to better it. The motif is clear-eyed and well-followed, the farm is an analogy for a person-driven political system, its operational methods an analogy for entrepreneurial capitalism, the perpetrators and the perpetuators of such a system start out its victims, end its victors, and then become again, its victims.This is the beauty that one can achieve when one does not, or refuses, to attack in anger. For a more recent example of the beauty of satire that come from not attacking in anger, we have to look at Stephen Colbert, whose appearance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner must count as one of the greatest examples of well-delivered deadpan satire ever. That will be a lesson that will take another post. Colbert, too reveals himself to be akin to a master swordsman in how he operates, and that will take a whole other post.But overall I make my point, and thus I will come toTHE FIRST RULE OF BLOG BUSHIDO: NEVER ATTACK IN ANGER.Anger is above all things, the killer of wit, the killer of charm, the killer of what keeps people reading your blogs. If you have a salient point to be made, there is no need to be angry about it. Dress up the point instead with the gifts of warmth, humour and clear-eyed vision. That is something that I will touch on in a future post.I shall end this post with a quote from a famous samurai:"Mental bearing (calmness), not skill, is the sign of a matured samurai. "-Tsukahara Bokuden. Blogger Samurai is a big fan of filmes noires, those "dark films" that sprung out of Hollywood's Golden Age, where you got to smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, engage in excessively antisocial behavior and that starred actors no one remembers now like Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Richard Widmark and Veronica Lake. Based on the writings of authors like Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Mickey Spillane and Jim Thompson. They were the forerunners of comic books like SIN CITY.That stuff started out fun, but soon he realized that there was no genre more able to withstand the test of time, for by showing the darkness does one acknowledge the presence of light.In such a manner, the excess of light disguises the darkness, extinguishes the shadow.Small wonder that in a real world where few are willing to engage the darkness, does it become more prevalent.The latest US attorney firings are a case in point. I do not think enough news coverage has been done just to show the depths of the secrecy, lies and mendacity uncovered here. It's got everything: a femme fatale, a famously duplicitous guy who claims that he doesn't remember anything , and bedside strongarming of a sick man.One can almost imagine it being played at cinemas in the 50s, a true Noir as it were.NOW PLAYING AT A THEATER NEAR YOU...AN ALL NEW MASTERPIECE OF SUSPENSE!SCORCHING THE SCREEN WITH UNPARALLELED FURY!Raymond Dashlane'sWHEN JUSTICE DEPARTS !WHEN A PROMISING US ATTORNEY IS FIRED, WAS IT JUST INCOMPETENCE?"You swear to tell the truth before this committee, Ms Goodling?"OR WAS THERE MORE TO IT?"I swear, your Honour."WHEN TWO MEN SHOW UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO SEE AN AILING FRIEND, IS IT JUST SYMPATHY?"You know where Mr Ashcroft is? We just wanna go wish him well."OR IS THERE MORE TO IT?"Damn you, Alberto...I'm not the attorney general now...HE IS!""That's right, you ain't gonna be tappin' wires as long as I have a say!IN A RACE AGAINST TIME..."Listen to me, Pal, you have GOTTA testify before the committee, we need to hear what you have to say!" WILL A MAN YIELD TO TEMPTATION?You know me. At heart, I am a fairly quiet girl, who tried to do the right thing and tries to treat people kindly along the way. That's all I am.”...OR UNCOVER THE TRUTH?TOUGH!TAUT!THRILLING!Raymond Dashlane'sWHEN JUSTICE DEPARTS!NOW PLAYING NEAR YOU! THE STRAITS TIMES AND THE ART OF FIGHTING WITHOUT FIGHTINGOne of the things that Blogger Samurai appreciates the most is the understanding that often in life, people truly get things they deserve, even if they may not want it.One of these things is unwarranted conflict and painful contention.In the film "Enter the Dragon", there is a scene where Bruce Lee's character meets Parsons, a ne'er do well fighter while travelling on a junk to an island for a martial arts tournament.Being the warrior that he is, Bruce Lee's character tells him that he has mastered the art of fighting without fighting. Parsons inquires what it is, and then Bruce Lee gets him into one of the lifeboats on the vessel that they are on, then he sets Parsons adrift.Thus the art of fighting without fighting.In the same way too, the readership of the Straits Times have collectively come to master in a way, what is the art of fighting without fighting.The Straits Times as a state-owned paper has often charged for access to its articles, where more famous papers the world over simply allow free access to a large number of their articles. Now, the fact that most news should be a free good for the information of the public has simply not been taken into account here, but for the sake of a paper's profit margin. So when faced with such a proposal, such an offer, totally lacking in reason, also demands the best reply possible.Refusal.ST:FROM Tuesday, visitors to The Straits Times' (ST) website will not have to pay to read the latest breaking news from Singapore and the world.They can also post their views - in real time - on the reports they read.One other major change: The site will drop its 12-year-old name, The Straits Times Interactive, or STI, and go with the cleaner 'straitstimes.com'.Since becoming a subscription site in 2005, it has been offering only a small buffet of material for free:1. ST's online forum letters;2. Multimedia features, such as video news reports and podcasts;3. A restricted selection of 20 reports from the print edition.All other content, including breaking news and material picked up from the print edition of the newspaper itself, has been available only to subscribers in the past two years.Explaining the move to open up more free-access content, ST editor Han Fook Kwang said: 'There's a great deal more we can do in the website to leverage on the award-winning talent in The Straits Times newsroom of writers, photographers, artists and designers. I think we've a good product and we want to make it available to more people in cyberspace, and to use the technology available on the web to make it an even better product.Denial cannot hide the most likely truth of all, which is this:So here is the Samurai Lesson of the day: Take A Walk! Whenever an argument seems lost or on the verge of losing, take a walk! Whenever a proposal is unreasonable, take a walk!There is a lot of wisdom in taking a walk.Because if you walk off early, others will realize that they have to catch up to you sooner or later.Such is how to fight without fighting. The Commander Report is dead. From its ashes a new blog will soon be reborn, old posts will be archived on this site, but BLOGGER SAMURAI will be a new blog where I expound some of my interests in Far Eastern philosophy, culture, along with politics, current affairs and everything under the sun.What Blogger Samurai hopes to do is to return sharp satire, commentary and incisive analysis to a divided, rather emotional blogging space in Singapore, that can at the same time offer commentaries on world events in the same spirit. There will be humour, but it will be about boiling something down to its essence, to show the truth that lies within. Not to simplify, but in fact, to get across. Boiled down to its essence, everything loses its dilution, and attains its sweetness. Just like the syrup of a maple tree.And like the syrup of a maple tree, the truth is often sweet too.To start with, I would like to share this famous Zen quotation that I hope expresses the spirit of the new blog:“Embrace nothing:If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha.If you meet your father, kill your father.Only live your life as it is,Not bound to anything.” Blogger Samurai is a big fan of filmes noires, th... Blogger Samurai is a big fan of filmes noires, those "dark films" that sprung out of Hollywood's Golden Age, where you got to smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, engage in excessively antisocial behavior and that starred actors no one remembers now like Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Richard Widmark and Veronica Lake. Based on the writings of authors like Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Mickey Spillane and Jim Thompson. They were the forerunners of comic books like SIN CITY.That stuff started out fun, but soon he realized that there was no genre more able to withstand the test of time, for by showing the darkness does one acknowledge the presence of light.In such a manner, the excess of light disguises the darkness, extinguishes the shadow.Small wonder that in a real world where few are willing to engage the darkness, does it become more prevalent.The latest US attorney firings are a case in point. I do not think enough news coverage has been done just to show the depths of the secrecy, lies and mendacity uncovered here.One can almost imagine it being played at cinemas in the 50s, a true Noir as it were.NOW PLAYING AT A THEATER NEAR YOU...AN ALL NEW MASTERPIECE OF SUSPENSE!SCORCHING THE SCREEN WITH UNPARALLELED FURY!Raymond Dashlane'sWHEN JUSTICE DEPARTS !WHEN A PROMISING US ATTORNEY IS FIRED, WAS IT JUST INCOMPETENCE?"You swear to tell the truth before this committee, Ms Goodling?"OR WAS THERE MORE TO IT?"I swear, your Honour."WHEN TWO MEN SHOW UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO SEE AN AILING FRIEND, IS IT JUST SYMPATHY?"You know where Mr Ashcroft is? We just wanna go wish him well."OR IS THERE MORE TO IT?"Damn you, Alberto...I'm not the attorney general now...HE IS!""That's right, you ain't gonna be tappin' wires as long as I have a say!IN A RACE AGAINST TIME..."Listen to me, Pal, you have GOTTA testify before the committee, we need to hear what you have to say!" WILL A MAN YIELD TO TEMPTATION?You know me. At heart, I am a fairly quiet girl, who tried to do the right thing and tries to treat people kindly along the way. That's all I am.”...OR UNCOVER THE TRUTH?TOUGH!TAUT!THRILLING!Raymond Dashlane'sWHEN JUSTICE DEPARTS!NOW PLAYING NEAR YOU! THE STRAITS TIMES AND THE ART OF FIGHTING WITHOUT ... THE STRAITS TIMES AND THE ART OF FIGHTING WITHOUT FIGHTINGOne of the things that Blogger Samurai appreciates the most is the understanding that often in life, people truly get things they deserve, even if they may not want it.One of these things is unwarranted conflict and painful contention.In the film "Enter the Dragon", there is a scene where Bruce Lee's character meets Parsons, a ne'er do well fighter while travelling on a junk to an island for a martial arts tournament.Being the warrior that he is, Bruce Lee's character tells him that he has mastered the art of fighting without fighting. Parsons inquires what it is, and then Bruce Lee gets him into one of the lifeboats on the vessel that they are on, then he sets Parsons adrift.Thus the art of fighting without fighting.In the same way too, the readership of the Straits Times have collectively come to master in a way, what is the art of fighting without fighting.The Straits Times as a state-owned paper has often charged for access to its articles, where more famous papers the world over simply allow free access to a large number of their articles. Now, the fact that most news should be a free good for the information of the public has simply not been taken into account here, but for the sake of a paper's profit margin. So when faced with such a proposal, such an offer, totally lacking in reason, also demands the best reply possible.Refusal.ST:FROM Tuesday, visitors to The Straits Times' (ST) website will not have to pay to read the latest breaking news from Singapore and the world.They can also post their views - in real time - on the reports they read.One other major change: The site will drop its 12-year-old name, The Straits Times Interactive, or STI, and go with the cleaner 'straitstimes.com'.Since becoming a subscription site in 2005, it has been offering only a small buffet of material for free:1. ST's online forum letters;2. Multimedia features, such as video news reports and podcasts;3. A restricted selection of 20 reports from the print edition.All other content, including breaking news and material picked up from the print edition of the newspaper itself, has been available only to subscribers in the past two years.Explaining the move to open up more free-access content, ST editor Han Fook Kwang said: 'There's a great deal more we can do in the website to leverage on the award-winning talent in The Straits Times newsroom of writers, photographers, artists and designers. I think we've a good product and we want to make it available to more people in cyberspace, and to use the technology available on the web to make it an even better product.Denial cannot hide the most likely truth of all, which is this:So here is the Samurai Lesson of the day: Take A Walk! Whenever an argument seems lost or on the verge of losing, take a walk! Whenever a proposal is unreasonable, take a walk!There is a lot of wisdom in taking a walk.Because if you walk off early, others will realize that they have to catch up to you sooner or later.Such is how to fight without fighting. The Commander Report is dead. From its ashes a new... The Commander Report is dead. From its ashes a new blog will soon be reborn, old posts will be archived on this site, but BLOGGER SAMURAI will be a new blog where I expound some of my interests in Far Eastern philosophy, culture, along with politics, current affairs and everything under the sun.What Blogger Samurai hopes to do is to return sharp satire, commentary and incisive analysis to a divided, rather emotional blogging space in Singapore, that can at the same time offer commentaries on world events in the same spirit. There will be humour, but it will be about boiling something down to its essence, to show the truth that lies within. Not to simplify, but in fact, to get across. Boiled down to its essence, everything loses its dilution, and attains its sweetness. Just like the syrup of a maple tree.And like the syrup of a maple tree, the truth is often sweet too.To start with, I would like to share this famous Zen quotation that I hope expresses the spirit of the new blog:“Embrace nothing:If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha.If you meet your father, kill your father.Only live your life as it is,Not bound to anything.” I will be on indefinite hiatus as I head forth to Canada for the next six months. Cheers. I will be on indefinite hiatus as I head forth to ... I will be on indefinite hiatus as I head forth to Canada for the next six months. Cheers. I will be on indefinite hiatus as I head forth to ... I will be on indefinite hiatus as I head forth to Canada for the next six months. Cheers. Rumsfeld RetrospectiveWith Donald Rumsfeld's resignation, let us recall the valiant path he tread in order to prevent war at all costs...a task that was no doubt too great for him, a conflict to irretractable. With this very special, poignant clip: a recreation of the days before the Iraq War started. Rumsfeld Retrospective With Donald Rumsfeld's resi... Rumsfeld RetrospectiveWith Donald Rumsfeld's resignation, let us recall the valiant path he tread in order to prevent war at all costs...a task that was no doubt too great for him, a conflict to irretractable. With this very special, poignant clip: a recreation of the days before the Iraq War started. Rumsfeld Retrospective With Donald Rumsfeld's resi... Rumsfeld RetrospectiveWith Donald Rumsfeld's resignation, let us recall the valiant path he tread in order to prevent war at all costs...a task that was no doubt too great for him, a conflict to irretractable. With this very special, poignant clip: a recreation of the days before the Iraq War started. Today, thanks to my guest editor William Grimm of the Fairytaleland Times, I have managed to get a letter from one of the longest known admirers of Singapore, Princess Aurora, formerly known as the Sleeping Beauty, and her own personal perspective on the Wee Shu Min incident. Despite of her long years of retirement from political activity, she feels glad that Singapore has adopted her country's system of governance, and gladly shares her insights here especially with regard to a similar incident in her country. If you only knew how to get yourself a fairy godmother!LITTLE MATCH GIRL HAD IT COMINGBy Princess Aurora Mom's friend sent her some letter written to the Fairytale Land Times by some bleeding stupid 17-year old fairytalelander simply known as little match girl. (She's my age? why does she not even have a name!) whining about how fairytaleland is such an insecure place, how the poor peasants fear for their jobs, how the pool of elvenlandian "talent" (dismissively chucked between inverted commas) is really a tsunami that will consume us all (no actually he didn't say that, he probably said Elven Talern Bery Bad.), how the kings really needs to save us from inevitable doom but they aren't because they are stick-shoved-up-ass elites who have no idea how the world works, yadayadayadayada.i am inclined - too much, perhaps - to dismiss such people as crackpots. stupid crackpots. the sadder class. too often fairytalelanders kid themselves into believing that our society, like most others, is compartmentalized we are a tyranny of the beauties, and the rest are the beasts, unless they get enough magic to transform themselves. just ask my friend Belle, do you think she would have stuck with that horny bison? anyway, they don't even know how to get themselves a good fairy godmother?if you're not good enough, life will kick you in the balls. oh i forgot, you're a girl, you don't have any. well you wouldn't even be invited to see prince charming's ball, for sure. that's just how things go. there's no point in lambasting the kings for making our society one that is, i quote, "far too survival of fittest". it's the same everywhere. yes discrimination exists, and it is sad, but most of the time if people would prefer hiring other people over you, it's because they're better. it's so sad when people like little match girl lament the kind of world that fairytaleland will be if we make it so uncertain. go be friggin communist.then again, it's easy for me to say. my future isn't certain but i guess right now it's a lot brighter than most people's. little miss matchgirl will read this and brand me as an 18-year old elite, one of the sinners who will inherit the country and run her stock to the gutter. go ahead. the world is about winners and losers. it's only sad when people who could be winners are marginalised and oppressed. is dear little match girl starving? has dear little match girl been denied an education? has dear little match girl been forced into child prostitution? has dear little match girl had her clan massacred by the government?i should think not. dear little match girl is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, wait, she has been starving, denied an education, and the only reason she wasn't forced into prostitution was because she ain't got a pair of tits like mine. oops, and she died shortly before the previous new year? come on, you can't blame yourself for dying if you try to light matches to see what other people are having for dinner. those other people have dinner to eat BECAUSE they work, unlike you, okay?please, get out of my elite uncaring face.whoops, you already have.cheers. Today, thanks to my guest editor William Grimm of ... Today, thanks to my guest editor William Grimm of the Fairytaleland Times, I have managed to get a letter from one of the longest known admirers of Singapore, Princess Aurora, formerly known as the Sleeping Beauty, and her own personal perspective on the Wee Shu Min incident. Despite of her long years of retirement from political activity, she feels glad that Singapore has adopted her country's system of governance, and gladly shares her insights here especially with regard to a similar incident in her country. If you only knew how to get yourself a fairy godmother!LITTLE MATCH GIRL HAD IT COMINGBy Princess Aurora Mom's friend sent her some letter written to the Fairytale Land Times by some bleeding stupid 17-year old fairytalelander simply known as little match girl. (She's my age? why does she not even have a name!) whining about how fairytaleland is such an insecure place, how the poor peasants fear for their jobs, how the pool of elvenlandian "talent" (dismissively chucked between inverted commas) is really a tsunami that will consume us all (no actually he didn't say that, he probably said Elven Talern Bery Bad.), how the kings really needs to save us from inevitable doom but they aren't because they are stick-shoved-up-ass elites who have no idea how the world works, yadayadayadayada.i am inclined - too much, perhaps - to dismiss such people as crackpots. stupid crackpots. the sadder class. too often fairytalelanders kid themselves into believing that our society, like most others, is compartmentalized we are a tyranny of the beauties, and the rest are the beasts, unless they get enough magic to transform themselves. just ask my friend Belle, do you think she would have stuck with that horny bison? anyway, they don't even know how to get themselves a good fairy godmother?if you're not good enough, life will kick you in the balls. oh i forgot, you're a girl, you don't have any. well you wouldn't even be invited to see prince charming's ball, for sure. that's just how things go. there's no point in lambasting the kings for making our society one that is, i quote, "far too survival of fittest". it's the same everywhere. yes discrimination exists, and it is sad, but most of the time if people would prefer hiring other people over you, it's because they're better. it's so sad when people like little match girl lament the kind of world that fairytaleland will be if we make it so uncertain. go be friggin communist.then again, it's easy for me to say. my future isn't certain but i guess right now it's a lot brighter than most people's. little miss matchgirl will read this and brand me as an 18-year old elite, one of the sinners who will inherit the country and run her stock to the gutter. go ahead. the world is about winners and losers. it's only sad when people who could be winners are marginalised and oppressed. is dear little match girl starving? has dear little match girl been denied an education? has dear little match girl been forced into child prostitution? has dear little match girl had her clan massacred by the government?i should think not. dear little match girl is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, wait, she has been starving, denied an education, and the only reason she wasn't forced into prostitution was because she ain't got a pair of tits like mine. oops, and she died shortly before the previous new year? come on, you can't blame yourself for dying if you try to light matches to see what other people are having for dinner. those other people have dinner to eat BECAUSE they work, unlike you, okay?please, get out of my elite uncaring face.whoops, you already have.cheers. Today, thanks to my guest editor William Grimm of ... Today, thanks to my guest editor William Grimm of the Fairytaleland Times, I have managed to get a letter from one of the longest known admirers of Singapore, Princess Aurora, formerly known as the Sleeping Beauty, and her own personal perspective on the Wee Shu Min incident. Despite of her long years of retirement from political activity, she feels glad that Singapore has adopted her country's system of governance, and gladly shares her insights here especially with regard to a similar incident in her country. If you only knew how to get yourself a fairy godmother!LITTLE MATCH GIRL HAD IT COMINGBy Princess Aurora Mom's friend sent her some letter written to the Fairytale Land Times by some bleeding stupid 17-year old fairytalelander simply known as little match girl. (She's my age? why does she not even have a name!) whining about how fairytaleland is such an insecure place, how the poor peasants fear for their jobs, how the pool of elvenlandian "talent" (dismissively chucked between inverted commas) is really a tsunami that will consume us all (no actually he didn't say that, he probably said Elven Talern Bery Bad.), how the kings really needs to save us from inevitable doom but they aren't because they are stick-shoved-up-ass elites who have no idea how the world works, yadayadayadayada.i am inclined - too much, perhaps - to dismiss such people as crackpots. stupid crackpots. the sadder class. too often fairytalelanders kid themselves into believing that our society, like most others, is compartmentalized we are a tyranny of the beauties, and the rest are the beasts, unless they get enough magic to transform themselves. just ask my friend Belle, do you think she would have stuck with that horny bison? anyway, they don't even know how to get themselves a good fairy godmother?if you're not good enough, life will kick you in the balls. oh i forgot, you're a girl, you don't have any. well you wouldn't even be invited to see prince charming's ball, for sure. that's just how things go. there's no point in lambasting the kings for making our society one that is, i quote, "far too survival of fittest". it's the same everywhere. yes discrimination exists, and it is sad, but most of the time if people would prefer hiring other people over you, it's because they're better. it's so sad when people like little match girl lament the kind of world that fairytaleland will be if we make it so uncertain. go be friggin communist.then again, it's easy for me to say. my future isn't certain but i guess right now it's a lot brighter than most people's. little miss matchgirl will read this and brand me as an 18-year old elite, one of the sinners who will inherit the country and run her stock to the gutter. go ahead. the world is about winners and losers. it's only sad when people who could be winners are marginalised and oppressed. is dear little match girl starving? has dear little match girl been denied an education? has dear little match girl been forced into child prostitution? has dear little match girl had her clan massacred by the government?i should think not. dear little match girl is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, wait, she has been starving, denied an education, and the only reason she wasn't forced into prostitution was because she ain't got a pair of tits like mine. oops, and she died shortly before the previous new year? come on, you can't blame yourself for dying if you try to light matches to see what other people are having for dinner. those other people have dinner to eat BECAUSE they work, unlike you, okay?please, get out of my elite uncaring face.whoops, you already have.cheers. WHO MOVED YOUR CHEESE, DEREK WEE?For those of you who have been paying attention to the Singapore blogosphere, you may have heard of Derek Wee's tirade on how he feels his CHEESE HAS BEEN MOVED, and some girl called Wee Shu Min's subsequent reply to the prospect of moving cheese. Now given Wee Shu Min is not even in the job market, and therefore, has yet to experience what having her cheese moved is like, I would first tell her that no matter what, you have got to realize the kinds of cheese that exist on the market.Now in Spencer Johnson's bestseller, two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two guys, Hem and Haw, realize that the cheese is missing. The mice go off to find the cheese, and the humans deliberate. Haw eventually goes forth, but Hem stays behind.In our globalized world, we are all going to understand what it is like to have our cheese moved. Yes, all of a sudden I am going to find that plate of Camembert missing on my table, replaced by a pack of Kraft 12 slice Cheddar singles. I will have to settle for pizza without mozzarella, and forget about my Swiss Fondue. But that does not matter, because each slice of Kraft contains all my calcium needs daily. In addition, who wants to eat Camembert or Brie? Queen of Cheeses, they call Brie. Which means Brie is for sissies. Thus explaining its popularity among the French, those no good wankers who march on the streets to protest the loss of their jobs to Polish plumbers. And you know, when I thought of how I could see all those icky green mold in my camembert, I think life is not so bad eating Kraft Singles cheddar after all.After all, do you know how many glasses of milk there are in one slice of Camembert. Go on, Frenchies, prove me wrong!At the end of the day, isn't it just the glass of milk in each slice that counts? WHO MOVED YOUR CHEESE, DEREK WEE? For those of y... WHO MOVED YOUR CHEESE, DEREK WEE?For those of you who have been paying attention to the Singapore blogosphere, you may have heard of Derek Wee's tirade on how he feels his CHEESE HAS BEEN MOVED, and some girl called Wee Shu Min's subsequent reply to the prospect of moving cheese. Now given Wee Shu Min is not even in the job market, and therefore, has yet to experience what having her cheese moved is like, I would first tell her that no matter what, you have got to realize the kinds of cheese that exist on the market.Now in Spencer Johnson's bestseller, two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two guys, Hem and Haw, realize that the cheese is missing. The mice go off to find the cheese, and the humans deliberate. Haw eventually goes forth, but Hem stays behind.In our globalized world, we are all going to understand what it is like to have our cheese moved. Yes, all of a sudden I am going to find that plate of Camembert missing on my table, replaced by a pack of Kraft 12 slice Cheddar singles. I will have to settle for pizza without mozzarella, and forget about my Swiss Fondue. But that does not matter, because each slice of Kraft contains all my calcium needs daily. In addition, who wants to eat Camembert or Brie? Queen of Cheeses, they call Brie. Which means Brie is for sissies. Thus explaining its popularity among the French, those no good wankers who march on the streets to protest the loss of their jobs to Polish plumbers. And you know, when I thought of how I could see all those icky green mold in my camembert, I think life is not so bad eating Kraft Singles cheddar after all.After all, do you know how many glasses of milk there are in one slice of Camembert. Go on, Frenchies, prove me wrong!At the end of the day, isn't it just the glass of milk in each slice that counts? WHO MOVED YOUR CHEESE, DEREK WEE? For those of y... WHO MOVED YOUR CHEESE, DEREK WEE?For those of you who have been paying attention to the Singapore blogosphere, you may have heard of Derek Wee's tirade on how he feels his CHEESE HAS BEEN MOVED, and some girl called Wee Shu Min's subsequent reply to the prospect of moving cheese. Now given Wee Shu Min is not even in the job market, and therefore, has yet to experience what having her cheese moved is like, I would first tell her that no matter what, you have got to realize the kinds of cheese that exist on the market.Now in Spencer Johnson's bestseller, two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two guys, Hem and Haw, realize that the cheese is missing. The mice go off to find the cheese, and the humans deliberate. Haw eventually goes forth, but Hem stays behind.In our globalized world, we are all going to understand what it is like to have our cheese moved. Yes, all of a sudden I am going to find that plate of Camembert missing on my table, replaced by a pack of Kraft 12 slice Cheddar singles. I will have to settle for pizza without mozzarella, and forget about my Swiss Fondue. But that does not matter, because each slice of Kraft contains all my calcium needs daily. In addition, who wants to eat Camembert or Brie? Queen of Cheeses, they call Brie. Which means Brie is for sissies. Thus explaining its popularity among the French, those no good wankers who march on the streets to protest the loss of their jobs to Polish plumbers. And you know, when I thought of how I could see all those icky green mold in my camembert, I think life is not so bad eating Kraft Singles cheddar after all.After all, do you know how many glasses of milk there are in one slice of Camembert. Go on, Frenchies, prove me wrong!At the end of the day, isn't it just the glass of milk in each slice that counts? Greetings, and welcome to another edition of the Commander Report.Today, the Commander has some advice for a certain Singaporean leader and his forthcoming lawsuit with the Far Eastern Economic Review.Inside this report of his lawsuit that you can read here on page 15, there is this line:"16. In addition, the phrase "How many libel suits have Singapore's great and good wrongly won, covering up real misdeeds?" was repeated and given special prominence in a box in the Article."Good Sir, I wonder if this is an attempt for the PAP to achieve a younger, hipper image, because it certainly echoes the actions of one of the heroes of Singapore's decadent young, yes, I am talking about that paragon of non-parent-loving Western decadence, Bart Simpson...I WILL NOT CUT CORNERSI WILL NOT SHOW OFFI WILL FINISH WHAT I STA... Greetings, and welcome to another edition of the C... Greetings, and welcome to another edition of the Commander Report.Today, the Commander has some advice for a certain Singaporean leader and his forthcoming lawsuit with the Far Eastern Economic Review.Inside this report of his lawsuit that you can read here on page 15, there is this line:"16. In addition, the phrase "How many libel suits have Singapore's great and good wrongly won, covering up real misdeeds?" was repeated and given special prominence in a box in the Article."Good Sir, I wonder if this is an attempt for the PAP to achieve a younger, hipper image, because it certainly echoes the actions of one of the heroes of Singapore's decadent young, yes, I am talking about that paragon of non-parent-loving Western decadence, Bart Simpson...I WILL NOT CUT CORNERSI WILL NOT SHOW OFFI WILL FINISH WHAT I STA... Greetings, and welcome to another edition of the C... Greetings, and welcome to another edition of the Commander Report.Today, the Commander has some advice for a certain Singaporean leader and his forthcoming lawsuit with the Far Eastern Economic Review.Inside this report of his lawsuit that you can read here on page 15, there is this line:"16. In addition, the phrase "How many libel suits have Singapore's great and good wrongly won, covering up real misdeeds?" was repeated and given special prominence in a box in the Article."Good Sir, I wonder if this is an attempt for the PAP to achieve a younger, hipper image, because it certainly echoes the actions of one of the heroes of Singapore's decadent young, yes, I am talking about that paragon of non-parent-loving Western decadence, Bart Simpson...I WILL NOT CUT CORNERSI WILL NOT SHOW OFFI WILL FINISH WHAT I STA... Hi, after a long interval I am back.Recently, a timely issue has been raised by MP Halimah Yaacob in parliament, indeed, she has brought up a great issue worthy of our current situation. Indeed, we have to ensure that the mentally ill in our society must be welcomed back into the fold.More education on mental illness needed for employers and societySINGAPORE: More awareness campaigns on mental illnesses are needed to educate employers and society here.The Government Parliamentary Committee Chairman for Health, Halimah Yacob said that's because more people are expected to suffer from mental illness.She was speaking to reporters at the launch of a week-long event to commemorate World Mental Health Day on Tuesday (October 10).Singapore sees as many as 350,000 people suffering from some form of mental illness.The most common ones are anxiety disorder and depression, and the number of sufferers are likely to go up because of increased pressures at work.Ms Halimah, who flagged off a walkathon to mark World Mental Health Day, said some with mental illnesses get rejected when applying for a job."In the case of someone who develops a mental illness when she or he is already working, the biggest problem is the co-workers as they look at people with mental illness as they view workers with mental illness with a certain amount of fear and also a certain amount of derision," she said.Ms Halimah said that there was a need to educate people at the workplace so that they can help, as people with mental illnesses needed income to undergo treatment.The biggest problem facing mental illness is ignorance about it, and this leads to rejecting the sufferers.That is why organisations and agencies like the Institute of Mental Health have set up booths in the heart of town to educate the public.The aim is to generate awareness so that mental illness sufferers will not be ostracized. - CNA /dtNow I am inclined to agree with it, that is until I see this...Well Mdm Halimah, I suggest you have to start advocating the serious education of mental illness to your own Parliament as soon as possible, I mean, wow, since when did 40 year old public servants get reduced to being public entertainers? Besides, aren't they too old to be dressed like that? Aren't those clothes too tacky for them? I mean they're behind even in following the latest hip hop trends...Wow, it must be crazy down there in the Parliament! Must be more jivin' than Zouk!MPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next FebruaryBy May Wong, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 03 October 2006 1650 hrsPhotos1 of 1Related VideosMPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next FebruarySINGAPORE: Members of Parliament from the post-65 generation will be performing hip hop dance moves at the Chingay Parade next year. The parade will be held along Orchard Road on February 23 and 24. The 12 post-65 MPs will perform with 300 hip hop dancers at the Chingay Parade. "The whole process was very enjoyable because the Post-65 MPs, the P-65 team, are very close, so we had a lot of fun doing it. It's more because of the closeness that we have and learning a new dance skills that we're coming forward to also participate in the Chingay," said Teo Ser Luck, Parliamentary Secretary, Community Development, Youth and Sports Ministry. A few of them are not embarrassed to admit that hip hop is not their cup of tea. "I have two left feet, I can't dance but I enjoyed myself. I showed my kids what I did, then they went "mum, loosen up a bit!" My kids can dance but I can't," said Jessica Tan, MP, East Coast GRC. "That's part of the fun - to laugh at yourself, to have a sense of humour about everything and that's what we're trying to do as P-65 MPs, trying to connect with the youth and having fun with them, that's the main thing," said Chris de souza, MP, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC. "All of us are having fun. It's not important whether we perform well, we dance well or whether we look professional on tv or during the parade. Most importantly, we have to connect with the youths of today," said Lam Pin Min, MP, Ang Mo Kio GRC. Aside from the MPs' performance, the Chingay Parade will feature colourful floats and various activities. Stretching along Orchard Road from Liat Towers to Orchard Plaza, it's expected to attract some 200,000 people. - CNA /dt REMEMBER, WE MUST NOT OSTRACIZE THE MENTALLY ILL IN SOCIETY, REGARDLESS OF THEIR STATURE!This is THE COMMANDER REPORT, SUPPORTING THE MENTALLY DISTURBED FOR THE CIVIL SERVICE!OVER AND OUT! Hi, after a long interval I am back. Recently, a ... Hi, after a long interval I am back.Recently, a timely issue has been raised by MP Halimah Yaacob in parliament, indeed, she has brought up a great issue worthy of our current situation. Indeed, we have to ensure that the mentally ill in our society must be welcomed back into the fold.More education on mental illness needed for employers and societySINGAPORE: More awareness campaigns on mental illnesses are needed to educate employers and society here.The Government Parliamentary Committee Chairman for Health, Halimah Yacob said that's because more people are expected to suffer from mental illness.She was speaking to reporters at the launch of a week-long event to commemorate World Mental Health Day on Tuesday (October 10).Singapore sees as many as 350,000 people suffering from some form of mental illness.The most common ones are anxiety disorder and depression, and the number of sufferers are likely to go up because of increased pressures at work.Ms Halimah, who flagged off a walkathon to mark World Mental Health Day, said some with mental illnesses get rejected when applying for a job."In the case of someone who develops a mental illness when she or he is already working, the biggest problem is the co-workers as they look at people with mental illness as they view workers with mental illness with a certain amount of fear and also a certain amount of derision," she said.Ms Halimah said that there was a need to educate people at the workplace so that they can help, as people with mental illnesses needed income to undergo treatment.The biggest problem facing mental illness is ignorance about it, and this leads to rejecting the sufferers.That is why organisations and agencies like the Institute of Mental Health have set up booths in the heart of town to educate the public.The aim is to generate awareness so that mental illness sufferers will not be ostracized. - CNA /dtNow I am inclined to agree with it, that is until I see this...Well Mdm Halimah, I suggest you have to start advocating the serious education of mental illness to your own Parliament as soon as possible, I mean, wow, since when did 40 year old public servants get reduced to being public entertainers? Besides, aren't they too old to be dressed like that? Aren't those clothes too tacky for them? I mean they're behind even in following the latest hip hop trends...Wow, it must be crazy down there in the Parliament! Must be more jivin' than Zouk!MPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next FebruaryBy May Wong, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 03 October 2006 1650 hrsPhotos1 of 1Related VideosMPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next FebruarySINGAPORE: Members of Parliament from the post-65 generation will be performing hip hop dance moves at the Chingay Parade next year. The parade will be held along Orchard Road on February 23 and 24. The 12 post-65 MPs will perform with 300 hip hop dancers at the Chingay Parade. "The whole process was very enjoyable because the Post-65 MPs, the P-65 team, are very close, so we had a lot of fun doing it. It's more because of the closeness that we have and learning a new dance skills that we're coming forward to also participate in the Chingay," said Teo Ser Luck, Parliamentary Secretary, Community Development, Youth and Sports Ministry. A few of them are not embarrassed to admit that hip hop is not their cup of tea. "I have two left feet, I can't dance but I enjoyed myself. I showed my kids what I did, then they went "mum, loosen up a bit!" My kids can dance but I can't," said Jessica Tan, MP, East Coast GRC. "That's part of the fun - to laugh at yourself, to have a sense of humour about everything and that's what we're trying to do as P-65 MPs, trying to connect with the youth and having fun with them, that's the main thing," said Chris de souza, MP, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC. "All of us are having fun. It's not important whether we perform well, we dance well or whether we look professional on tv or during the parade. Most importantly, we have to connect with the youths of today," said Lam Pin Min, MP, Ang Mo Kio GRC. Aside from the MPs' performance, the Chingay Parade will feature colourful floats and various activities. Stretching along Orchard Road from Liat Towers to Orchard Plaza, it's expected to attract some 200,000 people. - CNA /dt REMEMBER, WE MUST NOT OSTRACIZE THE MENTALLY ILL IN SOCIETY, REGARDLESS OF THEIR STATURE!This is THE COMMANDER REPORT, SUPPORTING THE MENTALLY DISTURBED FOR THE CIVIL SERVICE!OVER AND OUT! Hi, after a long interval I am back. Recently, a ... Hi, after a long interval I am back.Recently, a timely issue has been raised by MP Halimah Yaacob in parliament, indeed, she has brought up a great issue worthy of our current situation. Indeed, we have to ensure that the mentally ill in our society must be welcomed back into the fold.More education on mental illness needed for employers and societySINGAPORE: More awareness campaigns on mental illnesses are needed to educate employers and society here.The Government Parliamentary Committee Chairman for Health, Halimah Yacob said that's because more people are expected to suffer from mental illness.She was speaking to reporters at the launch of a week-long event to commemorate World Mental Health Day on Tuesday (October 10).Singapore sees as many as 350,000 people suffering from some form of mental illness.The most common ones are anxiety disorder and depression, and the number of sufferers are likely to go up because of increased pressures at work.Ms Halimah, who flagged off a walkathon to mark World Mental Health Day, said some with mental illnesses get rejected when applying for a job."In the case of someone who develops a mental illness when she or he is already working, the biggest problem is the co-workers as they look at people with mental illness as they view workers with mental illness with a certain amount of fear and also a certain amount of derision," she said.Ms Halimah said that there was a need to educate people at the workplace so that they can help, as people with mental illnesses needed income to undergo treatment.The biggest problem facing mental illness is ignorance about it, and this leads to rejecting the sufferers.That is why organisations and agencies like the Institute of Mental Health have set up booths in the heart of town to educate the public.The aim is to generate awareness so that mental illness sufferers will not be ostracized. - CNA /dtNow I am inclined to agree with it, that is until I see this...Well Mdm Halimah, I suggest you have to start advocating the serious education of mental illness to your own Parliament as soon as possible, I mean, wow, since when did 40 year old public servants get reduced to being public entertainers? Besides, aren't they too old to be dressed like that? Aren't those clothes too tacky for them? I mean they're behind even in following the latest hip hop trends...Wow, it must be crazy down there in the Parliament! Must be more jivin' than Zouk!MPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next FebruaryBy May Wong, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 03 October 2006 1650 hrsPhotos1 of 1Related VideosMPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next FebruarySINGAPORE: Members of Parliament from the post-65 generation will be performing hip hop dance moves at the Chingay Parade next year. The parade will be held along Orchard Road on February 23 and 24. The 12 post-65 MPs will perform with 300 hip hop dancers at the Chingay Parade. "The whole process was very enjoyable because the Post-65 MPs, the P-65 team, are very close, so we had a lot of fun doing it. It's more because of the closeness that we have and learning a new dance skills that we're coming forward to also participate in the Chingay," said Teo Ser Luck, Parliamentary Secretary, Community Development, Youth and Sports Ministry. A few of them are not embarrassed to admit that hip hop is not their cup of tea. "I have two left feet, I can't dance but I enjoyed myself. I showed my kids what I did, then they went "mum, loosen up a bit!" My kids can dance but I can't," said Jessica Tan, MP, East Coast GRC. "That's part of the fun - to laugh at yourself, to have a sense of humour about everything and that's what we're trying to do as P-65 MPs, trying to connect with the youth and having fun with them, that's the main thing," said Chris de souza, MP, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC. "All of us are having fun. It's not important whether we perform well, we dance well or whether we look professional on tv or during the parade. Most importantly, we have to connect with the youths of today," said Lam Pin Min, MP, Ang Mo Kio GRC. Aside from the MPs' performance, the Chingay Parade will feature colourful floats and various activities. Stretching along Orchard Road from Liat Towers to Orchard Plaza, it's expected to attract some 200,000 people. - CNA /dt REMEMBER, WE MUST NOT OSTRACIZE THE MENTALLY ILL IN SOCIETY, REGARDLESS OF THEIR STATURE!This is THE COMMANDER REPORT, SUPPORTING THE MENTALLY DISTURBED FOR THE CIVIL SERVICE!OVER AND OUT! WHAT THE FLAT DADDY SUGGESTS FOR HOW WE CAN IMPROVE OUR NATIONAL SERVICEJust came across this picture, friends, about the "Flat Daddy", which is a cardboard cut out substitute for military families in the United States who have mommies or daddies in some far away Arabby place.Now, see I just wonder what good this can do to families with sons in NS in Singapore, or their girlfriends. Think about it, you will now have someone you can sit at your dinner table all week while your son is slogging it in BMT, and you can say, "Boy, time to eat!" without your boy refusing, and then at the same time not worry about him getting fat . And for girlfriends, there is always the other model, that comes with an extra zipper and a prosthetic...um...piece for you to attach, which shall be your...erm...endowment from Mindef in helping you to cope with life while your boyfriend is in OCS/Sispec or something...and meanwhile, if you want to dump him, you can do so literally and watch as the sanitation truck gobbles him up...so much better than his three-dimensional counterpart, right? Actually, if you want to see the Lan Chiao Peng you hate get it, you can also purchase one and stick needles in it.And as for NS boys, I'm sad to say that your two-dimensional cut outs will be out there having all the fun while you are sloughing away in camp, but take heart, for the bulk of you, army life will bore you so much, you will end up two-D anyway... WHAT THE FLAT DADDY SUGGESTS FOR HOW WE CAN IMPRO... WHAT THE FLAT DADDY SUGGESTS FOR HOW WE CAN IMPROVE OUR NATIONAL SERVICEJust came across this picture, friends, about the "Flat Daddy", which is a cardboard cut out substitute for military families in the United States who have mommies or daddies in some far away Arabby place.Now, see I just wonder what good this can do to families with sons in NS in Singapore, or their girlfriends. Think about it, you will now have someone you can sit at your dinner table all week while your son is slogging it in BMT, and you can say, "Boy, time to eat!" without your boy refusing, and then at the same time not worry about him getting fat . And for girlfriends, there is always the other model, that comes with an extra zipper and a prosthetic...um...piece for you to attach, which shall be your...erm...endowment from Mindef in helping you to cope with life while your boyfriend is in OCS/Sispec or something...and meanwhile, if you want to dump him, you can do so literally and watch as the sanitation truck gobbles him up...so much better than his three-dimensional counterpart, right? Actually, if you want to see the Lan Chiao Peng you hate get it, you can also purchase one and stick needles in it.And as for NS boys, I'm sad to say that your two-dimensional cut outs will be out there having all the fun while you are sloughing away in camp, but take heart, for the bulk of you, army life will bore you so much, you will end up two-D anyway... WHAT THE FLAT DADDY SUGGESTS FOR HOW WE CAN IMPRO... WHAT THE FLAT DADDY SUGGESTS FOR HOW WE CAN IMPROVE OUR NATIONAL SERVICEJust came across this picture, friends, about the "Flat Daddy", which is a cardboard cut out substitute for military families in the United States who have mommies or daddies in some far away Arabby place.Now, see I just wonder what good this can do to families with sons in NS in Singapore, or their girlfriends. Think about it, you will now have someone you can sit at your dinner table all week while your son is slogging it in BMT, and you can say, "Boy, time to eat!" without your boy refusing, and then at the same time not worry about him getting fat . And for girlfriends, there is always the other model, that comes with an extra zipper and a prosthetic...um...piece for you to attach, which shall be your...erm...endowment from Mindef in helping you to cope with life while your boyfriend is in OCS/Sispec or something...and meanwhile, if you want to dump him, you can do so literally and watch as the sanitation truck gobbles him up...so much better than his three-dimensional counterpart, right? Actually, if you want to see the Lan Chiao Peng you hate get it, you can also purchase one and stick needles in it.And as for NS boys, I'm sad to say that your two-dimensional cut outs will be out there having all the fun while you are sloughing away in camp, but take heart, for the bulk of you, army life will bore you so much, you will end up two-D anyway...