It is to be expected that the taste in television programmes should differ between a guy and a girl, and in an unexpected twist, Tom has now got me hooked on Dexter.He introduced the show to me once last semester but I never took a liking to it. Blood, murder, serial killer... the ingredients for a guys show. I recall the first time I watched it I turned away from the screen, squirmish from the sight of blood (though fake).But in the span of slightly more than a week, we have already finished the entire first season. Sometimes two or three episodes in a seating. I can't really put a finger down to why I have a sudden change of heart. I must admit that the suspense that the show builds up towards the end is pretty cool. The storyline in my opinion was really good. Couldn't help but laugh everytime I managed to guess what was in store for me as the story unfold.The second season seems promising, but I'm making Tom (and myself) wait till our monthly anniversary. Why? I chanced upon the dvd set of the season at Borders the other day, packaged with a kit similar to that of Dexter's signature; a blood sample, glove... Looked cool and thought the boy would appreciate it for the anniversary.Heading out to interview talents in a while. Thank goodness my partner drives. The semester has had way too many bumps along the way, but despite it taking up so much time and effort, I guess the hands on classes give some variety to the learning journey.On a happier note, I will be heading to the Gold Coast tomorrow for Tom's 21st party in the weekend. Somehow excited at the thought of seeing all his siblings and family again. I guess Tom is right, with no family here, I somehow seek comfort in them being my other family.Well, sort of. Tired. Runny nose. Body aches. Fatigue.Stupid flu. Been down and out for the last four odd days. And just when I seem to get a tiny bit better, the attack of the cramps start.Leaving tutes early seemed like a joke to the staff, thinking I just wanted to find an excuse.I'm quite tired of all the nonsense to be honest. I don't know if it's because the school itself has way too many flaws or if I am finding fault with them.It almost makes me certain that furthering my studies is quite out of the question.Maybe I am not suited for studies after all. It's not that I'm not trying. I have, I saw the opportunity and I'm holding it tight. But when some things just happen to stop you what do you do? Do you fight?I would, but I can't. I can't change some things that are not within my control. And all these may lead to me finally screwing up my studies.I guess I was always right, I am useless. It's only day two of the semester and I am already tired. What's meant to be a week of only lectures and settling in has turned full swing into a week with almost all tutorials all (though not indicated in the time table) and assignments already given out.It's the last semester, the last stretch in this part of education that I never thought I would venture into. Journalism - I can say for sure now that this will most probably not be the path I will take in life. Not the kind I'm learning at uni anyway.Wanted to blog in the holidays but honestly sitting down in front of a computer typing was one of the last things I wanted to do then. Spent alot of time sleeping, eating, watching cable and just enjoy being in a house with people outside of college. Baked some cakes which turned out really good. Rich but good.Can't believe the birthday is creeping up on me. It feels almost just like a few weeks ago that I was out at Friday's celebrating with another 3 July 25 babies. Already got a few gifts, mostly from Tom and his family, and from my parents. Can't wait to open them!I think this final semester is crunch time. I failed to find any company in the Gold Coast offering internships during the break and that has resulted in me taking on all 4 classes at one go when they are seem so overwhelming at the moment. Oh well, it's my fault things turned out like that. Just got to suck it up.I know I don't have many friends I can turn to always but I'm glad I got the few I can turn to. Let's not forget the boy who has been absolutely amazing to me this year.Starting to feel old in college. Goodness. heh.Anyway time for lunch! Been going through some photos and I have one question in mind -Why does it seem like Rasa Sentosa Resort is a popular choice with youths to hold their wedding there? Today I kept a prayer for you and your loved ones in my heart.At the time of the funeral I kept an hour of silence. In the still of that hour, I took the time to not only remember you and pray that your friends and loved ones can find closure with time.Till the next time we meet Clifton, I will always remember that smile of yours. Hearing from loved ones of late haven't always been a good thing. Today I received another sad piece of news that adds on to the my sense of loss and grief in the last couple of weeks.She was someone whom despite the communication barrier, always thought of me and asked about me. Despite the lack of quality time spent with her, I am grateful that I managed to do what I set out to do before she passed.We weren't the closest of friends but his smile always brightened up my day. A pity that the past year or so I have been away and never tried hard enough to maintain the friendship we had. But there isn't any regrets for he has still touched my life and have been a part of it, and will be remembered."To live in hearts we leave behindIs not to die." - Thomas Campbell It's almost the end of the semester.Two more assignments.I am so tired I can't even focus on the finish line ahead anymore. Fatigue sets in, and clouds my judgement and sensible inner voice.Prediction of grades are going to be interesting. This semester my grades are pretty much either really high or barely scraping through.The hopes of doing an internship rather than a group production seems bleaker by the minute. Have not finished the prerequisite classes due to this 'accelerated' I'm taking to do this degree. Damn.Living one day at a time. Goodness, I really cannot wait for the days to get by.The last assignments are a pain. I pretty much am lost in them and totally uninspired to gather facts, research and ideas.Will blog again soon. With better days ahead, they would be alot more chirpier, I hope. I must be honest and confess that I have been wanting to blog many times in the last few days, but somehow I have become lazy, and well, my mind wanders elsewhere.Went to the city for a bit of sushi at this place which I have found a few rave reviews. Not too bad, but the price makes it really hard for me to part with the cash in my wallet.And of course there was the Wing Outing, where I tried something I never did. And I guess it turned out alot better than I expected. Skirmish was rather fun. All except the walk up this really steep slope before the first half of the game that left me gasping for air! I was really hesistant about skirmish, but am really glad I went. And I was so excited to get bruises!School is drawing to and end really soon. Like a month? Then the winter break awaits me. A month in the Gold Coast is definitely a break I am looking forward to, since I get to meet Tom's sister who's down for a holiday and some family time. And not forgetting Buble's concert in June too, oh can't wait!Meanwhile, assignments and falling ill are getting the better of me. And suddenly I have become tired and lethargic. No amount of sleep can seem to do any wonders to me and my aching body.The cold is here, time for the long pants, tights and pretty sweaters and jackets. My first winter turned out great last year, and this year I hope alot more good things will happen.So guys, how have you been doing? Sometimes even being pushed into a corner you feel defeated and find no way to muster up any strength to fight.I often wonder how thing would be like with a ton of 'what ifs'.The mind needs to slow down and focus on the present more than struggle to grasp the strings connecting to all my thoughts and worries.I feel smothered in something. What it is I have no idea but then again, everything seems a blur.The year is flying by. It's as though I am wasting time doing something I am not even sure of.My confidence is slowly flying out the window.The optimism I had coming into the year has long turned to ashes.Life isn't bleak, but at the same time, I am having difficulty finding that ray of sunshine to motivate myself.I am tired. Very distracted from school work at the moment, despite the deadlines looming very near. Was blog surfing when I came across some really good news. To this friend of mine, I am so so happy for you fairygodma, sorry I won't be there but hey, you know that I would LOVE to be there no? Time will fly and before you know it you would have to send me pictures of the joyous occasion ok? *BIG hug*This led me to being in a really happy mood for the last 30 minutes and I know how some of you say I never post pictures? Well here is one, of me and the boy. The first picture of us posted here? I think so.Everyone meet the boy, Tom!I know many of you will not have a chance to meet him anytime soon, but rest assure that he does treat me well and is really nice to me. If you have anything to say to him or ask, just drop comments on the blog and he will get to it ok?Waffles anyone?Starting to get cold over here. While I am excited so that I get to wear my nice winter wear I got, a wave of sadness overwhelms me. Winter approaching means the semester ending. This means that it won't be too long till I will face what could possibly be my final semester in school forever.The future awaits, and for the moment, I am not that keen on stepping on that new adventure. Time flies when one gets carried away with the daily routine of school and love. Somehow the semester seems to be flying by much faster than I expected it to.The struggle with school continues as the classes I take get more technical and more time pressing since that is how journalists work. I find myself figuring the easiest things out with great difficulty while many others just sail through them. Their ideas and work methods and experience sometimes just scares me a little to be honest.But while all this is happening, I have someone who treats me right and is a life saver. The boy took me to the Blues Festival at Byron Bay during the Easter break, and the rest in the Gold Coast was much appreciated. On this special day, I just want to say thank you love. Nine months have past and you have really been my pillar of strength in many occasions, and I really want to thank you for everything.Social life wise, it is good to have one or two familiar faces around. Their laughter and constant chatter has been god sent. And the friends around them that I have started to cherish as well, they put a smile on my face, especially someone whom I somehow met last year at a bus stop. =)And to Steph! I know it is belated but CONGRATULATIONS ON OFFICIALLY GRADUATING! I don't know if you are still in Perth but I hope that you had good time back there with Tun and where your 'second home' is/was.Oh, does anybody want to watch Phantom with me? I watched it already but I got the understudy as my Phantom and honestly, it is THAT GOOD that I want to watch it again! SO anyone here who wants to watch it please let me know!And strangely enough, I was pretty annoyed/upset/agitated the last few days but I have come to terms with some things in life. People just need to accept that things don't always go there way and move on. If they like to live in their world where they thing themselves as saints and I'm the bitch, I'm all for it.With my friends and family with me, with everything else going for me at the moment, who needs to care about scum?xoxomeps: I know you miss me. A month since I have returned to Australia, it's amazing how some things never change.The week spent preparing for O week was good. Tiring but thankfully peaceful. O week itself was a week I don't think would be easy to forget.Then school. This semester seems rather taxing. And on top of all my my commitments I am thinking of taking up a job. Well I guess we will see what I can juggle.And of course, there is the reunion with the boy. He, whom I absolutely adore has been nothing but a sweetheart since his return. Spending time with me, and getting to know my girls in the wing as well. Heart.Oh yes, KELLY CLARKSON. I went with Mich to watch her perform on Sunday? It was AMAZING! Ok it felt short but she sang one song after another, no delays. It was a simple set up, no fancy costume changes and dancers of that sort, but my goodness, hearing her live gave me goosebumps. She is that freaking awesome. I am so so so in love with her voice! *swoon*Well time to get some work done. Will get in touch with some of you really soon! I miss you darlings back home!xoxo Almost packed. Bags aplenty, feeling countless too.This time, there is more hesistation, more uncertainty, reluctance as comepared to the year before.But the holidays spent at home is good, memorable. Thank you to all who made it so beautiful.I will be back really soon. Ten months from now, I would have graduated, and ready to join the workforce.But now I bid farewell to you my friends, to the food, lifestyle and culture that I have been brought up with. And step back into my other world, the other part of my life.Going to miss all of you!xoxo Sometimes I wonder if my mind's messed up.I guess it is.For the better in the future, I need to change.Change - something everyone resolutes to do in a new year.This new year has begun with some shaky issues and now I know I need to wake up and fight for what I want.All I ask is for you to be there for me, to help me through this, to be proud of me at the end of it all. The festive season has come and gone. Too quickly for me to even notice the things I would have in the past. The fun, the laughter, the warmth of being surrounded by family and friends, the gifts, the meet ups, the love.But this year I failed to feel the hype of the holiday, the excitement that I was so prone to get just a mere six months before the special season. Where I would brave the crowds in Orchard and the malls to get gifts that will burn an amfully huge hole in my pocket but I know will be well received by my loved ones.This is strangely ironic since this is my first holiday back after being away for over 10 months. Surely the excitement and everything fun and good must still be there, no? Why has it all disappeared, like I am actually better off being back Down Under?And despite not doing much the last month or so. I am tired. Maybe more tired than I have been in the semesters before. Thank goodness for some friends who still bother to ask me out, but sorry that I can't attend most of them, family obligations that I cannot say no to.If this is what it's like to take the back seat, I don't really like it. But hey, I will learn to get used to it. Just a very short email, almost a one liner from the boy.That made my day.Merry christmas everyone. Recently I have not been feeling like it has been the best of days. Alot has happened in a short span of time and the feelings are mixed.The recent turn of events around me have made me realised how fortunate I am. That I still have loving parents who care for me, love me and support me in more ways than I can ever imagine. That my brother though not very expressive, loves me and is willing to do anything within his means to make me a better person.But at the same time, I cannot help but feel saddened by it all. Sure, I am not affected directly, but indirectly, I also feel the loss and hurt that the loved ones are going through.There isn't much to help with, but the thoughts and worry will always be there.I guess time will heal the wounds and hurt. Or at least we pray it to be true. Just an hour in the chair and I've now got a ifferent look that I am still trying to get used to. Sometimes I wonder why am I so not in touch with beautifying myself?It sure feels like that will come in very handy now.So with a few snips I now need to get used to my hair, and with a few clicks I am now a little more broke.But at least it is for things that I will need.The boy is leaving too soon. Has it already been 25 days since I last saw him? That's only a quarter of the tie needed to be spent away from him.Maybe I just need to really busy myself as much as possible and the next thing I know, I will be busy packing to return for my final year of studies! It's been almost 3 weeks since I have been back. The sweltering humidity, the congested paths on the streets and in the malls, the constant rain - all of which I have more or less adjusted back to.Strangely enough, many friends have assumed that I would be swamped with meetings and gatherings. But I don't know if it's amusing or sad, the numbe of outings that I have planned with friends are few and far.My return to Singapore was not announced to many. I didn't see a point. For one, I have become a rather private person. Having to share my social life with two different worlds makes things hard. I don't know how to bridge the gap between both and make things easier for myself to maintain all contacts that I have once treasured.Also, during my stay away from Singapore, I hardly made contact with people back home. Trying to settle into a brand new routine, with no old friends around was not daunting, but certainly very tiring.It was then that I discovered no matter how people viewed me as a very sociable person, I found out the hard way that maybe like butterflies, my friends flutter around but never stay.It maybe busy schedules, it maybe work, it maybe that they just don't want me as a friend anymore. I want to say it's my fault for not keeping in touch with everyone. But thinking back, I did write emails about me settling in fine and all, but after the initial weeks of fun and relaxation, the assignments and readings got to me. I was struggling half the time with school work and the expectations I had to try and meet.But while all that happened, it almost felt like only a very few took the initiative to keep in touch with me. Some of them were people that I have never been really close to. Their constant text messages, emails, postcards and even parcels on my birthday were pleasant surprises that usually became the highlight of my usually stressful week.It takes both parties to make something work, doesn't it? Both parties have to give and take and not just do fulfil only one aspect of it.My years of giving everything I have to my friends, I somehow don't see the strong ties staying strong or even ever being strong.I guess maybe I am too stubborn, or that I am expecting too much of my friends.But a simple msn message or email saying hi once in a while.Is that too much to ask for? Taken from: http://xkcd.com/352/The boy sent me this tonight before logging off. I miss him dearly. The cool weather, the breeze that freshens and brightens up your day.The friendly people.The initial thought of coming home didn't look that inviting. Back to home where I have not met anyone for 10 months, where it will be hard to relate to people (quite possible) would be a nightmare for a social creature like me.It took me a while to finally get used to life in Brisbane and appreciate everything about it. Now, I had to et my stuff packed and be home for the holidays.The friendships forged, times spent together, all left where they were.The love found, the times treasured, all kept inside locked tightly as memories.The fear of coming back to a reverse culture shock - uncertainty, unfamiliarity.But as I boarded my flight and started to feel more at ease. And then though part of a possible SOP, Singapor Airlines steward Ong Pang Kay looked at me and said: " Welcome home."Everything all fell into place. One more exam and then I will be done. But I need to pass this exam just to pass this class. Goodness. Talk about stress.Morning teas have been good. Delicious chocolate muffins, berry muffins, butter cookies,double chocolate cookies. All washed down with a nice warm cup of coffee. Definitely the best thing to wake up to.Bugs. I hate bugs.Well its past the time where they just all feel the warm weather nearing and start swarming the streets. But I hate them. I really do. And these aren't the only bugs that I have to tolerate with. Some bugs are just so annoying. They make their freaking own judgement when it is none of their business whatsoever and think they are all fantastic. Seriously, if they were that great, go get laid or something. Ugh.I am so going to hate packing. Really. Thankfully I have more days this time to do so since I end earlier than last semester. Then it will be a week that I am looking forward to spending with him. That is good enough an incentive to try and pack up as fast as possible.Back to editing. Ugh ugh ugh.MICHELLE, I am craving Waraku, Tonkichi, Hanabi, chicken rice, bbq wings, stingray, ayam goreng, kang kong, dim sum, wanton mee, ipoh hor fun, sweet & sour pork, mushroom swiss burgers, beef noodles... ok the list goes on and on and on! So beware of me and Steph! Light fluffy spongecake.A whole tray of it.A taste that comforts the soul. Simple and statisfying.Soft to the touch, substantial to the tummy.All topped off with a delicious lemon icing - sweet, sharp and with a tinge of buttery feel to it, finished with a creamy texture.That's one of the best things today. Morning tea. I have wanted to post something here numerous times, but I get caught up in something else and the thoughts just fly away.So I type now, not because I really have much to type in mind, but to let you guys know that I am alive.It has been a busy semester thus far. Courses seem to be getting increasingly tricky and harder to do well in. The forging of new friendships and the reunion with many familiar faces from back home have become part of life's routine.But in the midst of all of this, I have become more absent minded, less focused and losing track of the tasks at hand. And while everything good and bad have been happening, I have changed. No more am I the girl that always puts everyone and everything before myself. I, have learnt to decide when enough is enough.Don't get me wrong. I have not changed entirely. Just that now, well, I am more, selective when it comes to putting others before myself. And I'm starting to take less notice about what people think about me, especially when I know that I should not bother myself with some people and their nonsense and behaviour. No more niceties to the world because I think that I should notbe confronting and what not. I will only be nice if I really need to and/or feel that the situation/person deserves it.The mid-semester break has come upon us. Strangely, it is here when we are 7 weeks to the end of it all, including the exams and study week to be precise. But it is a needed break. While there will be work to complete and readings to touch, a week away from college and settling into the wonderful serenity of Gold Coast is what the doctor ordered.Too many happenings, too many thoughts, too much emotions felt, too much to write.Sometimes I think that I am working my brain and heart way too much.Well here is to enjoying the rest of the days left here in Gold Coast, and to a smooth end to this academic and college year! Just when I thought warmer days were just around the corner, the rain decides to pay us all a visit, and a mighty long visit it has been.Rain is good, especially in this drought stricken state for the moment, but then walking to classes becomes a pain and staying in bed for the whole day snuggled up seems like the best idea.Got my working visa done, just need to go collect it. With the current workload, I don't know if I will get a job. While the cash and experience sounds like really tempting, the amount of readings and work needed to be done outside the classroom is quite a handful.To Jovi, thank you for all the postcards! It's nice to know the progress of your dream career taking flight and it's nice getting mail every now and then!Quite alot of things to get myself busy with. Been to my first NRL game, had my first meal here of "Singaporean" cuisine, celebrated my first birthday overseas.School work's piling up, time to get back to the books and catch up.I realise I never really write much stuff of depth on this blog anymore. Maybe I'm just being less expressive, not seeing the need for people to know so much about my happenings, online, for all to view.I guess more things will be posted soon. When I have the time ok? Maybe some pictures too!Hey everyone! How have you been? Let me know! =) It's late. Or one can say that it's early.Point is, it's time I sleep. But I can't sleep despite the day's activities ending only at 0100hrs.Been trying to catch up with the amount of emails I have not replied to. The recent days had me thinking alot about the decisions I have made and if I should stick to them.Is it possible that the spark that once caused the passion and interest to burn so intensely not be ignited again?Perhaps it is just a moment of weakness, at the point of saturation; needing nothing but a tiny nudge, a boost, something.Or is it really that the initial enthusiasm has died down because things are not what it was thought out to be?There are many other things preoccupying my mind at the same time, things that I can't shove to a side since they do matter to me.But there are moments where I wake up and realise that things will get better. Times like just then, when I was looking through past email conversations and smile at how the contents mean so much to me. Where blog surfing allows me to catch up with my friends back home and know how things are going for them.With all of this happening inside my head, I guess I should be thankful for the people and things around me. And for the love from the tiny red dot on the map.Will I once again take the path less travelled? The long time away from the blog made me realise how quickly time flies.School is already into its third week and Theatre Restaurant going into full swing with the production hitting the stage on Thursday.The semester seems busy for me, with many an expectations to try and meet.The birthday was great! Thank you again to all for the wishes, the gifts and the love.Starting to feel the fatigue from the semester. Think I need to pace myself and focus on the tasks at hand.Other than that, life has been good to me. I feel loved and am happy.Now time to head to class. Have I mentioned that the one thing that is spoiling this whole experience is school? The winter break was good. Alot of time spent relaxing, enjoying those lazy days while I could.How quickly time flies, the first week of school is almost coming to an end. And there is already a significant difference from the start of last semester - the amount of readings that has to be done prior to the next lecture or tutorial is a tad bit daunting.Life has it ups and downs, that I know. But sometimes I question the reasons behind our actions and the events that unfold after. I did enjoyed my break tremendously, especially towards the end of it all. There were the bittersweet moments but I guess I have myself to blame in a way.Other than that, today I feel loved. Really loved. Not only that, I feel blessed, and very lucky. Turning a year older doesn't seem that much of a difference, especially once you have past the age of 21. But this time, it feels really special.Thank you, all of you. For celebrating this day with me. For making me smile. The gifts and wishes have been wonderful, but not as great as knowing that you all remember.And thank you, for making me feel really special. The last two days have been spent surrounded by amazing sights and sounds that Mother Nature has to offer.Blue Mountains and Port Stephens as wonderful, with the viewing of the Wentworth Falls, whales and dolphins, the climb up and down and the cold freezing weather was certainly worth it.And then there was Hunter Valley. I think I have the tendency to splurge on sweet wines. That, I am a big sucker for. Then with that I need to spend a huge sum on postage to send it back home. I wonder what my parents will think. Heh.Oh if anyone needs to know, I have change of flight plans. Will be leaving for Melbourne earlier. Tomorrow in fact. So yes, to cold and windy Melbourne!